Curious to try anal sex but not yet ready for full-on penetration? Going for finger anal play is the key!
What’s great about this kind of play for the receivers is that they’ll still get that stimulating penetration without the initial discomfort from anal sex. As for the givers, it allows them to provide precise stimulation to their partner– massaging your bum’s sweetest spots is so much more comfortable with fingers than a penis/dildo.
But despite the benefits from finger anal play, most peeps are still hesitant to do this. This is because of the misconceptions surrounding anal sex, such as it’s dirty, weakens anal muscles, not pleasurable for females, and is exclusive for gay men.
First of all, those mentioned statements are entirely false! Everyone can enjoy anal play. It also not as messy as people would think and definitely wouldn’t weaken your anal muscles. It may be possible to hurt yourself if you’re not doing the deed properly, but there’s no way that it would leave permanent damage to your booty.
Misconceptions aside, anal fingering is a must-try for anal play beginners. As long as you’re doing it properly, you’ll do fine. With that, here’s a guide to help you on how to perform finger anal play.
Why You Should Try Anal Fingering
Before we move to the guide, let’s first discuss the five important reasons you should try this kinky activity.
1It’s a great way to explore a new region of your body.
One of the benefits you can get from this frisky play is that you’ll experience sensations that you won’t get from other stimulation types. So if you wanted to further explore your body, we highly suggest trying this frisky act. Who knows, you might enjoy this better than clitoral, vaginal, or penile stimulation!
2It’s a good starting point for anal sex.
As we’ve mentioned earlier, finger anal play is a great stepping stone to anal sex. If you’re not ready to get penetrated with a penis, dildo, or anal toys, go for this one. Once you’re used to butt play, you can gradually move to smaller anal toys, such as beginner butt plugs, slowly increasing the toys’ size until you’re ready for penile/strap-on penetration.
3You can experience intense anal orgasms.
Most people think that anal stimulation brings more pain than pleasure, but that’s not necessarily the case! The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings that, when appropriately stimulated, can provide mindblowing orgasms on the receiver’s body. Not only that, but our bums also carry specific erogenous spots such as the P-Spot and A-Spot.
The P-Spot, also known as the prostate gland, is a small walnut-shaped gland that produces seminal fluid during ejaculation. This organ is exclusive to people with penises, and when stimulated correctly, can provide oh-sooo-intense orgasms to your body.
On the other hand, the A-Spot, also known as the anterior fornix erogenous zone, is located 5-6 inches deep inside the vagina. It’s filled with sensitive nerve endings, making suuuper wet if appropriately stimulated. Now, aside from touching it through the vaginal opening, you can also indirectly massage this spot through your bum.
4You’ll get pleasurable stimulation without the risk of pregnancy.
Another great thing about finger anal play is that there’s no risk for pregnancy. One of the best things about this type of play is that you’ll never get pregnant. Female sexual organs aren’t located in your anal cavity, so for heterosexual readers, finger away!
Take note, though, there are still risks to doing this type of deed. One of which is vaginal infections, which may happen if you double dip (sticking your fingers in both a female’s vagina and asshole during the deed– don’t do this!
5It’s a fun and challenging way to break from your usual sexcapades!
If you’re looking for a unique activity to break away from your usual frisky routine, you can surely count on this one. It’s not as tedious as BDSM or roleplay, nor as risky as public sex. It’s also easy to learn, especially if you have experience in fingering a vagina.
How to Perform Finger Anal Play
As you’ve read the different reasons why you should try anal fingering, some of you are probably excited to try this out. But just hold for a while, bud. For this kinky act to be fuss-free, you need to learn the different steps on how to finger anal play someone. Read on!
1Communicate with your partner.
First things first, ask for informed consent from your partner. You can’t just say that you want anal fingering during the deed– it has to before the sex itself! You can show blogs and video guides about it only if your partner is unfamiliar with finger anal play.
It’s also better if you can explain to your partner why you’re interested in doing/receiving anal stimulation– Is it because of its taboo nature? Because you want to experience a prostate orgasm? Is it due to your sexual fascination with butts? Here are some of the possible reasons that you can tell your partner.
If your lover is like, “Yeah, sure. Let’s try it!” then great for ya! After getting the consent, talk about expectations and boundaries. Is your partner okay with two or more fingers down there? What kind of positions would your partner be willing to go with? Is your partner interested in getting stimulated on the other parts of their body? How long would the play last? Those are some of the things that you would need to talk about before going for the deed.
Another vital thing to do during the communication process is establishing a safeword. For those unfamiliar with the term, a safeword is a specific word used as a trigger to stop the act. The word must be something uncommon in a sexy environment, such as code red or chicken nuggets.
2Make the necessary preparations.
Once you’re done discussing each other’s expectations, desires, and limits, it’s time to make the needed preparations. By doing this, there’ll be fewer (messy and painful) mishaps during the deed.
For the Giver
- Cut and file your nails. Your partner’s anus is a delicate organ filled with sensitive nerve endings. Performing finger anal play with long and jagged fingernails can accidentally tear the inner walls of your partner’s rectum. Not only is that painful, but your partner’s bum may be susceptible to infections because of that.
- Prepare a bottle of a silicone-based lubricant. This type of lube is suitable for anal play since it has a thicker consistency compared to water-based lube. But if you don’t have a silicone-based lubricant, your good ‘ol water-based lube will suffice.
For the Receiver
- Clean your bum! Though finger anal play is not as messy as people assume, it’s still necessary to clean your bum before the deed. If you’re going to get penetrated with a pinky finger, there’s no need for deep cleaning, as long as you haven’t had a bowel movement in the past hour. Just take a shower and wash your external anus with a mild antibacterial soap. But if you’re getting penetrated with two or more fingers, deep cleaning with an anal douche is a must.
- Touch yourself before bringing a partner in. Try fingering yourself before the deed. By doing this, you’ll be more relaxed with a partner since you’re familiar with the sensations.
3Set the mood.
It’s essential to keep the receiver relaxed during the deed. That’s why aside from preparing your bodies, you and your partner must also prepare the space. Put some scented candles. Leave the blinders/curtains in. Remove all distractions. When fingering your partner’s bum, the focus should be on the receiver.
4Have long steamy foreplay.
Once everything is set, start the sesh with teasing foreplay. Again, you need to make sure that your partner is fully relaxed and aroused before sliding your finger in their ass. Have a long makeout session. Massage your partner’s bum. Perform analingus, cunnilingus, or a blowjob– do anything that would make them crave for more.
5Find the comfiest position.
You’ve already had an hour of steamy foreplay. Your partner is ready to get fingered. Once you’ve come to this point, time to get into position. Make sure to pick a sex position that lets your partner comfortably keep on for a few minutes. For more details about this, check the *sex positions for anal finger play* section below.
6Warm-up your partner’s bumhole first.
So you’re all positioned now, currently having full access to your partner’s lovely bum. We know you’re super excited to finger them, but chill out for a sec. Grab a bottle of lube and squeeze an ample amount to your fingers. After that, warm up your partner’s butthole first.
During this process, you’re not penetrating them yet with their fingers. You’re just massaging the opening, making the anal muscles relaxed and ready for what’s about to come. Here are some of the warm-up techniques that you should try.
- Thumb Tickle – Place both of your hands between your partner’s butt cheeks and spread them apart with your knuckles. Your thumbs should be right above their anus at this point. Once positioned, slowly move your thumbs in a circular motion, smoothly rubbing the opening of their bum.
- Push Down – Place your finger on your partner’s anus, palm down, then slide it along the anus until your finger is over the opening. Bend your fingertip, then gently press it into the lower anal muscle.
- Teasing Entry – For this warm-up technique, you’ll be sliding the tip of your finger inside. Just keep it in there for a few seconds, no more additional motions. This is only to make your partner get familiarized with the feeling of being anally fingered. Once they’re all warmed up for the finger anal play, it’s time for some deep penetration.
7Gently slide in your finger and perform various fingering techniques.
Re-apply the lubricant to your finger if needed, then gently slide the finger in. Make sure your partner is comfortable enough before doing any of the finger anal play techniques.
As for beginners, a simple “come hither” motion or “Slide in-and-out” would do. On the other hand, experienced couples can experiment with more challenging techniques such as the “Like a Vibe” technique or “Double Penetration.” To know more about these fingering techniques, check out the next section of this guide.
8Have the receiver guide the stimulation.
One of the common misconceptions when performing finger anal play is that the giver has full control over the stimulation. That’s not the case, though, as the receiver should have more say on the whole thing. They’re the ones that experience the stimulation, so their pleasure and comfort should be your top priority.
Even if you want to speed up the pace and increase the depth, you should ask your partner first before doing so. They also have the final say on how long the anal play would last.
Anal Fingering Techniques for Males
Besides knowing the proper steps on how to finger anal someone, it’s also vital to learn the different fingering techniques. This is where the magic happens, as these techniques let you stimulate your partner’s sweetest backdoor spots. Here are the other methods to try on people with penises.
Once your lubed-up finger is inside, keep it stiff and press outward from the center of the anus, gently massaging the anus in different directions.
If you want to spoil your partner with tons of pulsating sensations, go for this one. What’s great about this technique is that it stimulates the prostate gland with ease.
For this method, you’re going to gently insert your finger and curl it upward in a “come hither” motion. If you’re unfamiliar with the said motion, it’s basically the thing you do with your fingers when requesting someone to be near to you.
Open the door to new erotic possibilities with this sultry technique. For starters, you need to start gently tapping your partner’s anal walls. Find a spot that makes your lover go from “Ummm….” to “Oh yessss…”
Once you’ve found that specific spot, keep on pressing it as you would do on a doorbell. Watch your partner squirm in pure ecstasy!
4Like a Vibe
Do this technique when you’re almost done with the play since this method can be pretty hard on the wrist. Just lightly wiggle your hand as if you’re a vibrator.
Same with the Ding-Dong technique, you’ll start with locating your partner’s sweetest spot. Once you’ve figured that out, start rubbing the area in a circular motion.
Anal Fingering Techniques for Females
Performing finger anal play to your female partner? We gotchu! Here are the best anal fingering techniques for people with vaginas.
1In and Out
This method is pretty simple– just slide in and out of your partner’s anus. Start with slow and shallow strokes, then slowly increase the pace and depth. Let your partner guide you if it’s time to increase the pace/depth or if you’ll just keep the same pace/depth.
Wanna hit that sweet, sweet A-Spot? Go for this classic fingering technique. As we’ve mentioned earlier, this method involves curling your fingers in an upward “come hither” motion.
Is your partner interested in the Double Penetration or Threesome fantasy? You can fulfill that sultry desire with this method. To start off, place your hand in your partner’s bumhole while the other hand is on your partner’s vagina. After that, both holes must be penetrated with your lubed-up fingers. We suggest going for the “come hither” motion when doing this, so you’ll be able to stimulate both the G-Spot and A-Spot at the same time.
4Buzzin’ and Slidin’
Wanna incorporate sex toys in this frisky act? Now’s your chance. For this method, you’ll basically be going to finger anal your partner while using a vibrator or clit sucker on their vagina or vulva.
5Lick and Play
Your partner will surely love this one! For this technique, you will stimulate your partner’s anus while licking their vulva at the same time.
Have your partner lie on their back, spreading their legs wide. Gently insert your lubed-up finger to their bumhole– it’s up to your partner if they want to slide it in and out or keep it in place with circular or “come hither” motions. After a few seconds of anal stimulation, start performing cunnilingus to them. Enjoy the euphoric moans that you’ll hear from your babe!
Sex Positions for Finger Anal Play
We know you’ve already learned the basics at this point in the guide, but let’s take it a step further! Here are the different sex positions that you must try when performing finger anal play.
Of course, this classic position is included on the list. For this position, the receiver will be on all-fours while you will be kneeling behind them. Once positioned, you can start fingering your partner’s bumhole.
2Missionary with a Twist
Here’s another classic position on the list. For this one, the receiving partner will be lying on their back, legs wide open. You can then sit down just next to them and start fingering their anus. What’s great about this is that you’ll get to clearly see your partner’s reactions compared to doggy style.
If you’re looking for a non-classic, here’s something you should take note of. For starters, have the receiving partner lie on their back, with their legs in the air. You will then face your partner and lean into your legs, pushing the legs behind their ears. Once positioned, your can then start performing finger anal play to your babe.
What’s great about this position is that it provides more direct contact, without those pesky legs ruining the fun. However, make sure that the receiving partner is flexible enough to do this position.
We know you want that full VIP access to your partner’s luscious bum, so here’s a position just for that. Sit down on the bed, chair, or couch. The receiving partner will sit down on top of you, facing away. After that, the receiving partner must slowly bend over, so their hips are in the air while you have full access to their bum. Make sure to use your other hand and hold their waist for extra support. We also suggest giving your partner cunnilingus while fingering them in this position.
To be honest, you don’t have to do acrobatic positions just to enjoy this sultry act. A simple position such as the Side 69 would suffice. To do this position, you and your partner should lie on your sides, facing each other’s genitals. You and your partner must then open your legs wide for full access to the bum area and then start fingering each other. What’s great about this frisky position is that– you guessed it right– you’ll both get pleasured at the same time.
Anal Fingering Tips
You’ve learned the basics– now it’s time for some tips and tricks. Here are some beginner tips when performing finger anal play to your partner. Read on!
1Consider giving the receiving partner a butt massage first.
We cannot emphasize this enough– relaxation is the key! Warming up your partner’s butt is essential. That’s why before diving deep into the play, give your partner a sensual butt massage first.
Familiarize yourself with standard massage techniques, such as Swedish or deep-tissue. Now, you don’t have to be a full-pro on this– as long as your partner’s getting aroused and relaxed with the massage, you’ll do fine. Also, don’t forget to use a bottle of massage oil or a massage candle.
2Don’t forget the lube!
Repeat after us: The anus doesn’t self-lubricate. That’s why when performing a finger anal play to someone, it’s mandatory to use a lubricant.
Make sure that you’re using a lubricant with a thicker consistency, such as a silicone-based lubricant. If you don’t have that, you can still opt for the water-based ones– you’ll frequently re-apply it on your finger, though. As for the oil-based lubes, just save it for the butt massages, hun.
3Try using a stimulating lubricant.
Speaking of lubricants, did you know that stimulating lubes in the market can relax your anus? They provide cooling sensations and/or warming sensations on the area, keeping your anal muscles in a relaxed state. They also amp up your own or your partner’s sensations during the deed. With that, we suggest trying these stimulants to level up your anal plays.
4Don’t neglect your partner’s other sweet spots– use a sex toy if necessary.
Aside from keeping your partner relaxed, you also need to keep them aroused during the deed. That’s why it’s important to give focus on their other erogenous zones, such as the nipples, clitoris, glans (head of the penis), perineum, ears, neck, etc. Use sex toys such as masturbators, vibrators, and clitoral suckers if you can’t play with your hands as much.
5Relax and breathe…
It’s essential for both the giver and receiver to be relaxed when doing this. If you’re nervous AF when fingering during the deed, the receiving partner may feel that and also end up super tensed. With that, we suggest to take things slowly and remember to breathe– don’t get too excited, pal!
Anal fingering is one of the best ways to spice up your typical sexcapades. You’ll be able to discover pleasure like never before, have a stronger bond with your partner, and even reach intense orgasms through it!
That’s why instead of focusing on the misconceptions surrounding this steamy act, focus on the blissful sensations that you can get from finger anal play instead! It may take some heart-to-heart talk and prep time, but it’ll surely be worth it. Happy fingering!