7 can be a lucky number or an unlucky one. In terms of the latter, it can come in the form of the 7-Year Itch. This term can really hinder some people from committing to a long-term relationship, especially if you have such issues. However, is there a way to avoid this? Is it even real? What if I get lucky to avoid it?
If you have any of these questions, this guide is for you.
Over here, we’ll discuss what exactly the 7-year itch is, where it’s from, how to avoid having it, and many more. We hope you have a good reading session!
What is the 7-Year Itch?
Cleveland Clinic defines the 7-Year Itch as this period of “feeling restless or dissatisfied in a relationship — typically at that seven-year mark.”
In other words, there’s a shift in mood and dynamics within the individual that affects how they act in their relationship upon hitting 7 years together. It can either
The term originally came from a 1955 film entitled “The Seven Year Itch” featuring Marilyn Monroe, who’s this beautiful model who caught the eye of Richard Sherman (played by Tom Ewell). Furthermore, he’s ever so infatuated with her since he sent his wife and son to Maine for the summer. He gets so tempted to do things he’s not supposed to, even more so after reading this book stating that 7 years of marriage is the standpoint where men have an extra-marital affair.
Is it a real thing? 
Given that it came from a movie, yet some research shows couples having issues during that mark, the 7-year itch is a coincidence. A theory even.
Or in other words, there’s no legit proof that it is or is not a thing.
Yet we have to consider that 7 years is a long time. Numerous life events and conflicts can arise within that time, impacting you and your partner.
Note that this term isn’t just limited to marriages and relationships. It’s also applicable to hobbies, your current state in life, and even careers. There’s that “itch” you want to scratch badly, wherein you decide whether to hang on or completely abandon it.
Plus, you don’t have to reach the 7-year mark to experience some sort of restlessness and dissatisfaction. Some couples can experience it in an earlier phase of their relationship once the honeymoon phase fades away. Others may get to that point later on.
Moreover, this term doesn’t necessarily affect everyone. It’s not like this automatic guarantee that you’ll experience such an itch once you hit that mark. But it’s because a couple works on their relationship everyday, even in the smallest of ways when life gets overwhelming and busy.
Ways The 7-Year Itch Can Be Dangerous
Browse through this short section to see how this concept can harm couples.
1 Couples can become distant from each other.
As mentioned, 7 years is a lengthy time for lots of things to occur. Milestones, unfortunate events, life-changing ones, you know the drill. In the midst of bouncing back and keeping track of all of them individually can lead to straying away from your partner. If you can’t keep track of the flow of your life, what more with another person involved?
2 It encourages infidelity.
This is the worst-case scenario for some people who’ve reached the 7-year mark. It can be used as an excuse for someone to cheat as if that makes the situation better or validated. Cheating is still a choice. Between fixing what you two have and going after another person, you chose the selfish way out.
3 A couple can question their relationship status.
If not the aforementioned case, a couple may take a step back and look further into where they are now. Since 7 years is a long time, they may deeply evaluate how they feel towards the relationship. To continue or not? Moreover, it can be a breaking point for them to well break up.
Causes of the 7-Year Itch
Unveil the varying root causes of this phenomenon down below.
1 Major Life Changes
Lots of things can happen in 7 years. It can be moving to a different place, having children, falling ill, and many more. Those factors can distance you and your partner if not attended to immediately.
2 Falling Into Routine
When you’re with your partner for this long, it can lead to stagnation. It’s inevitable because you’re so used to each other. But not bothering to try new things like before is a choice, a choice that leads to routine and then eventually boredom.
3 Various Conflicts
7 years can expose you to all sorts of dilemmas and issues, whether individually, as a couple, or even both. It makes things between you two tense and stressful, especially when you don’t work things out right away. The longer you keep those issues and conflicts hidden, the harsher you two can be towards each other.
4 Drifting Apart
While having your own thing going on may lead to not having enough time to spend with your partner. Also, not having anything to look forward to together since neither of you is making plans can create a rift between you two.
5 Change in Expectations
Upon reaching 7 years in a relationship (or even earlier), you may reassess what you’re giving and receiving in it. For example, you’re giving your time and attention but receiving negativity or lack of communication as time progresses. There’s that imbalance, wherein there are not as many benefits in the relationship as they’re used to be. Hence, it could be a sign to end things.
However, another example is giving your time and attention and receiving affirmation and quality time in return. Thus, the 7-year itch can be swerved if you keep this up.
Signs of the 7-Year Itch
Notable signs that your relationship may get such an itch may include:
1 Keeping secrets from each other
While it’s alright to have some things to yourself, hiding important things as secrets is possible to avoid conflict or tension. While you value keeping the peace, it’s sacrificing your own, and you can only take in so much.
2 Lack of communication
Like seriously. While we’re not telling you to talk every second of the day, not catching up on each other on the crucial details can affect your relationship.
3 Little to no intimacy
From physical, emotional, sexual, and the like, you and your partner are not as close as you’re used to. Hence, the relationship may feel as if you’re roommates if you’re living with each other. Or even almost platonic, and not in a good way.
4 Heightened and increased conflicts
Instead of being mature and hashing things out, you let anger fuel you in times of conflict. Especially when it’s one after the other, it becomes more difficult to resolve things between you two.
5 Taking each other for granted
Because you’re so used to each other, you begin to assume that they’re always going to be there. However, when flowers aren’t watered enough, they wilt over time. The same goes for your bond.
6 No longer showing signs of appreciation
Not even thanking them when they open the door for you when you arrive home can damage your relationship in the long run. If you can’t appreciate each other in small ways aka. the strong building blocks of your relationship, everything you’ve built with will tumble and fall.
7 Irritation and crankiness towards one another
When life offers you sore lemons, it can make you a sore and irritated person. Within 7 years, stress from work, personal lives, and the like can make you lash out at your partner. Even more so when they can be the cause of said stress. Forgot to buy groceries or do the dishes and only adding to your mental load? That paves the way for tension.
But even if no conflict is involved, coming home tired from work can contribute to a more negative mood towards your partner. Especially when there are more added issues that just pile up on your daily plate. That is life.
8 Not spending as much time with each other
Whether or not quality time is your love language, a lack of time together can change your relationship. Even if you’re feeling annoyed with them, it may just create progress in alleviating negative emotions between you two. It can be as small as washing the dishes together or staying in bed together a few minutes longer. But it can also be big, like having date nights or doing a hobby together.
Whatever it is, such experiences can bring you two closer again and naturally converse about where you want your relationship to go and more. But in a more positive light this time.
How to Avoid the 7-Year Itch in Your Relationship
Prevent your long-term relationship from this distressing phenomenon through this helpful section.
1 Work on your communication skills.
If you want to alleviate and solve any tension and issues between each other, speaking to each other is the first step. In fact, chances are you aren’t prioritizing this enough. Hence, your relationship is feeling rocky. However, if you place communication as a top priority, it can spare some time and stress linked to the 7-Year Itch. Simultaneously, you get to work on your listening skills and build more empathy and understanding towards them.
Ways to communicate with one another can include:
- Checking in with each other a lot more at the end of the day
- Discussing your plans for the day (and see if you have spare time to spend time with each other)
- Coming clean by sharing any moments that elicited negative emotions from you (use “i” statements like “i felt annoyed when you left your towel on the floor”)
- Sharing monumental events
- Catching up midday (call or text, it’s still a form of communication)
2 Schedule more time with each other.
As we shared earlier, quality time can majorly impact a relationship. So if you don’t want to have or experience any signs of the 7-Year Itch, you must make time for each other. Even pencil book it in your calendar as an appointment to emphasize how much of a priority it is. The first step here is to communicate (see what we did there) with your partner regarding their free days.
It can be on a weekly basis if your schedules change often. Consider your own free days, too, and check if there’s an available day and time for both of you. From there, book it. The activities you’d want to do may vary, from a movie night to heading on into town.
Scheduling time together shows how much effort you’re willing to put on your partner. If you put a lot of it, then that shows how much they mean to you. But we aren’t closed to spontaneous moments either. If something changes and it so happens you’re both available, take that time to be with each other.
3 Tick off any negative activities.
Drugs, alcoholism, smoking, yeah. Don’t even consider engaging in them unmoderated, as it can create more relationship problems.
4 Prioritize intimacy regularly.
Intimacy can range from sexual to non-sexual. With that in mind, it doesn’t always have to be major, like mind-blowing sex (not a bad idea either) before work. Intimacy also thrives in the small ways. Hand-holding, a kiss on the cheek before leaving for work, and brushing their hair mid-hug are moments that can positively affect your mood and bring you closer.
In terms of sex, you can always schedule it if you’re both only vacant after work. That way, it’s further emphasized that it’s of utmost importance.
Overall, this tip can massively re-spark your relationship even before hitting the 7-year benchmark.
5 Express appreciation and gratitude towards one another.
Practicing gratitude and appreciation is a happy way to live your life. Yet many people take this for granted and forget to express it when life gets too hectic. Thus, you should build it up through small and simple gestures. It can be by saying thank you when they give you a glass of water without asking or saying affirmative words like “great job” when they share a milestone with you.
Aside from this, learning and speaking each other’s love language may also bring you closer to each other and express appreciation in more personal ways.
6 Seek professional help.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for professional help when your relationship is not at its best. You can only apply so many changes and still need more assistance. Hence, professional help is recommended, whether it’s through therapy (e.g., couples therapy) or counseling. They can help work through your issues, whether it’s a lack of intimacy, wanting to express your feelings better, and many more.
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Takeaway
The 7-Year Itch is not a guaranteed experience, but the idea of it can spark fear among couples and even single individuals. However, it can be prevented through consistent and daily efforts to work on your relationship. It can look like having short yet effective conversations towards the end of the day, making time for each other, and saying affirmative words to each other. These changes add up over time, strengthening your relationship and being able to conquer challenges together.
We hope this guide helped you navigate your relationship-related worries!
For more relationship-related guides such as this one, head on over to the Lauvblog here.
