Cool Off Meaning in Relationship: We’re On A Break!

What exactly is the cool off meaning in a relationship? Well, seeing that our witty and eye-catching blog title caught your attention, that’s the main topic in this guide!

Aside from breaking down its definition, we’ll also discuss why people have a relationship cool off in the first place, its pros and cons, signs a couple needs one, and tips on handling one. 

And also spoiler alert: it’s not the same as an actual breakup! 

But anyways, we wish you a productive and fruitful reading session ahead, reader!

Defining Cool Off Meaning In Relationship

A cool off in relationship terms means taking a step back from your current relationship, specifically a romantic one wherein you’re both exclusive and official. By taking a step back, you get some space and distance away from your partner. 

Doing so can give you mental clarity and a moment to breathe away the stresses that have latched on to your relationship. You’d also avoid saying or doing things that you may regret since you’re not emotionally stressed.

During this slow time, it also paves the way for you two to properly reflect and process the events that led to your cool off. You’d then become more calmer and cool-headed to discuss your issues rather than moving on like nothing happened or covering it up.

In Filipino, it can be casually expressed like “Cool off muna tayo.” 

In terms of time duration, a cool off can occur between a few days to several months. It mainly depends on what the couple consented and discussed through and through. What’s important is having enough time to ponder on your relationship and heal. 

Cool Off vs. Breakup: What’s the Difference?

Another meaning for a cool off in a relationship is a temporary break from a relationship, a pause from your usual flow with them. Couple Things PH shared a metaphor in describing this concept as “hitting the pause button on your favorite TV show”. This pause gives space between partners to rediscover themselves and recover from any relationship-related stresses. 

Moreover, they’re still together as ground rules are set during their temporary breakup. And when their cool off is done, it’s common for them to miss each other and talk through what they discovered during this time. These talks can further improve and strengthen their relationship.

However, it’s also possible for a cool off to be a prelude to a breakup, depending on the couple’s current relationship state.

As for a breakup, it’s the final decision to terminate a relationship. The people involved no longer have an exclusive connection and are single again. Simple as ABC, but it does bring a lot of pain and heartache.

Reasons Couples Have a Cool Off

Read through this section to learn more about why couples need a temporary break from each other.

1 Having had a heated argument

Arguments and fights are inevitable in every relationship. However, one of them may have tested your patience much more and released a part of yourselves you didn’t like. Hence, commencing a cool off is the smartest decision to make, so the intensity of your emotions, like anger, can simmer down.

2 You’re experiencing a difficult time in your relationship.

Couples experience numerous challenging obstacles during their relationship, including busy schedules, intimacy issues, miscommunications, and more. Whatever the issue is, the degree of intensity can determine whether or not a cool off is in order.

3 Either one of you has individual issues that are affecting your relationship.

May it be mental, financial, health, or many more, those effects of those individual problems can impact your relationship dynamics. For example, your partner has self-esteem issues and questions about being worth your time and effort. And even if you reassure them, they still don’t feel safe. Thus, it can lead to a cool off so they can sort things out on their own. 

4 Relationships are tiring.

There’s a lot of energy used when in a relationship, from checking up on each other, dealing with various emotions, and compromising to make things work. At some point, you’ll reach your peak and just need some space to breathe. Hence, having a cool off can be your solution.

Pros of Having a Cool Off

Browse through this section to uncover the various benefits that a cool off between you and your partner can do.

1 It resparks your relationship.

Being familiar with something over time, may it be a person or activity, may either lead to boredom and/or neglect. So, being apart from each other may cause you to long for each other due to this shift in your usual day-to-day life. Additionally, it’ll remind you of the reasons you two got together and eventually think of ways to fix your relationship.

2 You get much-needed space.

We all need solitude, our personal space, and me-time, which will let us refresh and reset our energy levels.

In turn, having a cool off from your partner transitions to a period of exploration and self-discovery. You may also have a better understanding and idea of what exactly you’re looking for in a relationship, garnering a much more mature mindset this time around.

3 It strengthens your communication skills.

Literally, a lot of issues and problems can be prevented if you and your partner communicate better. Perhaps that could’ve caused the cool off in the first place. But whatever the case, having a cool off pushes you to finally confront and openly tell them what is bothering you rather than hiding and keeping secrets. Those things can only push you two further away. Not only does it encourage honesty and transparency, but it reshapes how you’ve been dating and lead to better, healthier connections.

Plus, you feel much more relieved when you’ve expressed everything that you’ve bottled up all this time during your relationship.

4 It provides you more time to decide if this relationship is still worth it.

As we mentioned earlier, having a cool off can potentially result in two things towards the end: to stay or end the relationship. Hence, this period lets you balance the pros and cons of each scenario, alongside contemplating what kind of partner they are and how you act around them. As you also review your relationship dynamics and memories, you have a more vivid idea of what can be improved and/or what you don’t want to deal with.

This pro can go in numerous ways, depending on the couple and their dynamics.

Cons of Having a Cool Off

Check this section out for a deeper understanding the potential disadvantages of a cool off down below.

1 The lack of communication can be harmful.

Ironic how you need space to rethink things, but this space and lack of interaction can be detrimental if continued on for too long. Moreover, it may create a bigger disconnection, increasing your distance and making it hard to bond afterward.

2 It’s possible for someone to be unfaithful.

This person uses their “single” or solo status to jump from one person to another. They think that this temporary break is a moment of freedom for them to do anything, specifically see other people to fill in the gap in their chest.

When really, they’re cheating on you! That’s a huge violation what they discuss with their partner and ruins their trust especially when they find out. And unfortunately, this is a common case scenario these days, especially with dating apps being easily accessible.

3 There’s confusion regarding how committed you are to them.

One way confusion can seep in through your mind is that you’re uncertain where exactly you are, relationship-wise. Like you’re not single, but you’re not fully open to seeing others (unless discussed prior). This state also brings in distress, even more so when you get asked about your relationship status. Hence, you’re more likely to respond that it’s complicated.

In turn, this uncertainty leaves you to question where you stand with each other and if it’s really worth it in the long haul.

4 There may be more resentment.

Due to the distance, having such feelings of resentment can occur. As a result, it builds up frustration and stress over one another as your period of being apart lengthens. Having resentment during a cool off can also occur if either party didn’t agree to having one in the first place, being pissed that you didn’t consider their feelings and other blah blah blah.

Signs You and Your Partner Need a Cool Off

If you’re noticing any of these indicators in your current relationship, they may just signal that a cool off is in order. Especially now that you know the meaning of a cool off in a relationship!

Those indicators include:

1. You are not happy in your relationship.
2. You and your partner are always arguing.
3. You catch yourself reminiscing about the past.
4. You’re emotionally drained.
5. You’re always making sacrifices for them.

How to Take a Cool Off In Your Relationship

Follow these 3 important tips if you’re eager to properly set a successful cool off period with your partner down below.

1 Have an open talk about it.

Before thinking in advance and get packing (physically, mentally, emotionally, you get the gist) on this temporary break, having a deep and honest talk with your partner is important.

In this talk, share with them why a cool-off is needed, its benefits, and the potential lessons you two can learn from it. Not beating around the bush here; just pure, raw honesty on what you’re feeling then they get to open up as well.

Alongside this, try not to set a deadline on your cool off as it might rush your healing process.

2 Set ground rules.

During your talk and reaching an agreement, it’s important to see some ground rules before having that cool off in your relationship.

These ground rules are like boundaries; they’re to protect you and serve as a map during this journey. Some examples of ground rules to set include not seeing each other people in a romantic way or having no contact until you’re both ready, in person or virtually.

3 State your intentions and expectations during this period.

Is this cool off period a way for you to conquer your personal issues without harming your partner, get some mental space, or potentially look for other people? It’s important to know your why so you have clearer direction on where you’re going and what actions you’ll take to achieve them.

How to Maximize Your Cool-Off

A secondary meaning to having a cool off in a relationship gives you all this time to yourself, which makes you wonder what you can do. Alas, this section is for you.

1 Accept that it’s okay to be sad.

Having a cool off in your relationship may be something you didn’t expect to occur, but here you are. Take this time to explore and learn more things about yourself that you weren’t able to do when you were with them.

2 Be patient and kind to yourself.

It’s so easy and tempting to say degrading things to yourself because yeah, nobody plans to have a relationship cool off. You believe that there’s something’s wrong with you and that you’re not enough. But hey, you did the best you could and deserve to take a break.

3 Confide in your close companions.

Don’t isolate yourself during this challenging time. Be with the people you can trust and vent your feelings to, who can also shift your sadness to something more hopeful and happy. Do fun activities with them and make memories with them, especially if you haven’t spent enough time with them since you’re always with your partner.

4 Truly reflect on your feelings.

With the cool off meaning in relationship in mind, it’s a time to pondering the issues at hand, the one/s that led to your current state. It may be something that’s always bubbling up to the surface or something deeper that needs further delving. This tip gives you clearer understanding of the situation at hand, making you able to communicate better.

You can even journal them so they don’t keep haunting you; writing them on paper clears your mind from mental clutter.

What To Do Post-Cool Off

Resuming your relationship may seem odd at first; after all, this relationship used to be your normal until it temporarily wasn’t. So as you transition back to each other, firstly take the lessons you learned and apply them. If the cool off taught you to be more firm and verbal with your needs, express that lesson. Second, it helps to ponder on what you’re feeling towards them. Is there more resentment than contentment between the two of you?

From there, make a decision. It may be to continue the relationship in much lighter spirits to end it, seeing that you’ve had a good run and you two weren’t compatible enough for one another.

Takeaway

The cool off meaning in a relationship is actually a lot simpler than what most people expect and overanalyze. It’s only complicated if you don’t establish proper boundaries and ground rules around it, paving the way for mistrust and further miscommunication. Besides this, a cool-off can be beneficial for unwinding and mentally decluttering any relationship-related stresses. And when you experience one, maximize your time by reconnecting and exploring more of yourself and deeply reflecting if this person you’re with is truly worth the commitment moving forward.

For more relationship-related guides such as this one, head on over to the Lauvblog here.