French kissing can get hot and heavy when you’re doing it right. And while it doesn’t always lead to sex, it does result in intense make-out sessions. Just imagine those buds of nerve endings on your lips getting stimulated and caressed as the two of you explore each other’s mouths. Your lips are dancing to a tune only you and your partner can hear, and there’s a rhythm you have to keep up with. It’s a magical moment shared between the two of you. If only engaging in a torrid kiss was that easy…
Now, if you’re preparing for that first kiss with your crush or your lover, and you’re freaking out because you may end up giving sloppy kisses that can result to you earning a reputation of a bad kisser (oh, the horror!), the best advice we can give you is to chill. No one starts out as a master at something they haven’t done before. It takes practice and lots of experimentation.
But if you want to be ahead of the game, keep reading to perfect that torrid kiss you’ve been hearing about. And even if you think you’ve already earned a Ph.D. at French Kissing, there are still a few tips that you can add to your arsenal of smooching techniques.
What is a Torrid Kiss?
A Torrid Kiss, also known as french kiss, making out, deep kiss, tongue kiss, and frenching, is a passionate form of kissing that involves each other’s tongues. As the tongue is considered an erogenous zone, engaging in this activity can evoke your romantic and erotic senses. In fact, it’s the most common activity during foreplay.
Torrid Kiss Techniques
If you’re a newcomer to french kissing, you’re probably confused about what to do with your tongue. It’s normal to feel that way, but with enough practice and knowledge about the different techniques, you’ll be improving your frenching skills in no time. Below are some of the french kiss methods that you should know.
This method is often used before going in for frenching. While giving gentle pecks, subtly tickle your partner’s lips with the tip of your tongue. Don’t go sloppy in this one; just gently and swiftly press your tongue’s tip. Doing this will build anticipation and make your partner more excited for what’s about to come.
Once your partner opens their lips to accept your tongue, gently dart your tongue to the tip of their tongue, then slowly pull it back out. Same with the previous technique, this is meant to entice your partner right before you both fully start playing with each other’s tongues.
After teasing your lover with darting, you can then move on to this method for more contact. As the name suggests, this technique involves swirling your tongue; the tip of your tongue should be going for a clockwise or counterclockwise motion. It may be tricky at first, especially if you’re both swirling in the wrong direction, but you’ll soon get the hang of it; take a cue from what your partner is doing with their tongue.
As things heat up, now’s the perfect time to experiment with intense frenching techniques, such as the Diving method. For this one, you’ll be stretching out your tongue inside your partner’s mouth, then massaging their tongue. Now, this method can be intense for some, so make sure to do this technique when things are sizzling; don’t do this at the start of the session.
Ask your partner to dart (extend) their tongue on your mouth. After that, you’ll have to suck their tongue gently, not letting it go for a few seconds, then release it. See how your partner reacts to it. If they give an affirmative response, such as darting their tongue to your mouth again, keep on lightly sucking their tongue.
Of course, nibbling is included on this list. If you’re unfamiliar with the term “nibbling,” it’s basically gentle and small bites. To do this technique, all you have to do is lightly bite your partner’s lower lip during the deed. Be careful with biting them, though— don’t spoil a romantic and sensual moment by putting your partner in immense pain.
Expert-Approved Tips on How to Torid Kiss
Ready to experience the most whimsical and passionate kiss of your life? Well, to experience that, you’ve got to keep in mind some tips and techniques when indulging in this act. Let’s dive right in!
1Have a willing partner aka get consent first!
If you really want to be a master of torrid kissing, you have to get yourself an actual person who can reciprocate and give you feedback on how your lip-locking skill is doing. Obviously, your chosen partner needs to be a willing participant in this kissing rehearsal of yours. Do it with someone who you think you can have fun with. If you’re feeling brave, ask your crush out on a date and try it out with him.
2Have a minty fresh breath.
If your mouth smells like a rat just climbed in there and died, there isn’t going to be that many people who’d want to be exchanging spit with you. Trust us on this. Pay attention to your oral hygiene so you can have fresh-smelling breath throughout the day. Pop a mint or use mouthwash to get rid of the taste of the onion rings you just ate.
We’re not saying you have to obsess about your breath every damn time when you’re thinking of French kissing someone. Just don’t keep popping those mints or excusing yourself to go to the restroom to use the mouthwash every five minutes. That only makes you seem too eager.
3Make sure your lips aren’t all dried up.
Lips that are dry and cracked can be really distracting when you’re kissing someone. So aside from your breath, you also need to think about the state of your lips. Whether they’re in good condition for kissing or they’re better off as sandpaper.
If you’re prone to dry lips, make sure you always have a Chapstick in your purse or whichever lip balm you prefer. As long as you get those lips moisturized.
Your dry lips can also be a sign that you’re dehydrated. In that case, just chug a glass of water for a quick and easy solution. Now, if for whatever reason you can’t get your hands on water or lip balm (maybe you’re stuck in a desert), you can always just lick your lips to bring back moisture. Simply run your tongue over them and maybe press or nibble on them slightly.
4Find the right timing.
You don’t just jump in and go for it. Well, that can work but not all the time. That’s too risky. If you don’t find the right opportunity for a smooch, you can end up with a slap to the face. But how do you know it’s the “right opportunity for a kiss”?
It’s usually when the two of you are somewhere private. It can be in the backseat of your date’s car, bedroom, or even in the dim part of the park. You also have to be attentive to your partner’s body language. Is he leaning in closer to you? Are his eyes traveling to your eyes then moving down to your lips? If he’s showing these signs, then you got an opening. Or if you don’t want to keep guessing about your partner’s intentions, you can always just ask.
5Build a momentum—there’s no need to rush!
Ease up your partner into the tongue kissing. Build up momentum first and don’t just shove your tongue down their throat. That’s not a very polite thing to do. Give subtle but teasing kisses. Try kissing your partner’s forehead, nose, behind the ears, then the top of the lips. Graze each other’s tongue, nibble, and suck on the bottom lip. Chase each other’s tongues then increase and slow down on the pressure.
Take your time. There’s no need to rush. Think of it as if you’re sharing ice cream with your partner. If you eat it too fast, you can’t really enjoy it for what it is. You take small scoops and savor each one as it slowly melts in your mouth. That’s how French kissing can be. You relax your mouth, share a tender and feathery light kisses, and focus on building momentum.
6Focus on the moment and be passionate.
It’s hard to be in the moment when you keep worrying about your kissing techniques. You’re going to be a ball of nerves if all you ever think about is how well you’re performing. This isn’t an exam; you don’t get a license if you pass the test.
So put those worries to rest and let your passions take over. That way, you can go with what feels natural for you. Show your partner that you want to create a deeper connection with him, or that you want to be intimate with him. If you can do that, your partner is going to get the feeling of being wanted and may reciprocate the same passions as you’ve shown.
7Tilt to one side—don’t be too stiff!
We don’t want any nose injury to happen, so to avoid bumping your noses, tilt your head to the opposite direction of your partner’s. But as always, this rule isn’t set in stone. So don’t sweat too much about it. There may be times when you and your partner are kissing each other with your heads in the same direction. If that’s the case, you’re both going to naturally find a comfortable position and tilt your head to the other side.
8Don’t get overboard with the tongue.
While French kissing generally means kissing with tongue involved, you can get a bit overboard on this and end up slobbering on your partner’s mouth. That’s not cute. At all.
Be careful not to extend your tongue too far down your partner’s throat, or have too much thrusting power. You’re just going to end up making your partner feel uncomfortable. It’s a common rookie mistake but now you know better and are aware that it’s one of the don’ts in French kissing. As we’ve said before, there’s A LOT of nerves that can be found on the tongue. So when the tongue is involved, a little really goes a long way.
9Put your hands to good use.
When kissing, you don’t just stay still and let your lips and neck do the moving. Your hands can also be part of the action. They don’t need to stay awkwardly on your sides. Put them to good use by placing them on your partner’s chin to slightly incline your partner’s face. Or on your partner’s back just so you can better feel their warmth on you. Or rub their elbow or knee to add more stimulation. You can even put them around their neck so you can grab them closer to you. Engage your hands to make the kissing act more romantic and sensual.
10Keep on breathin’.
Unless you’re a superhuman who can breathe through your ears, don’t forget that even when your whole body is on fire and your tongue is busy exploring your partner’s hidden sensual spots, you still need to breathe through your nose. Which is kind of a challenge when your faces are stuck to each other. Take pauses in between and look into each other’s eyes. Smile and let your partner know you’re having a good time.
11Laugh off the mistakes.
We’re all hoping you nail your torrid kiss the first time you do it. But unfortunately, that’s not always going to be the case. But even if you do mess it up, there’s no shame in that. Be honest to your partner and just outright say you’re not an expert but you’re a quick learner and what you lack in experience, you can make up for in creativity. Just be chill about it. Make jokes and enjoy a good laugh to ease up the tension. As long as you’re with someone who genuinely wants to spend time with you, then it’s good in the hood.
12Take brief breaks.
Going for intensely passionate french kissing doesn’t mean you’ll have to keep kissing throughout the whole sesh. Take breaks. Move your mouth away and then give gentle pecks on the other parts of your partner’s body, such as their neck, cheeks, breasts, hands, and more.
Also, take this time to let them know how great the kiss is and how much you meant to them. Now, you can still opt for non-stop frenching, but the sizzle may fizzle out quickly if there’s no teasing goin’ on.
13Don’t forget eye contact… but not during the kiss.
Related to the previous tip, use the french kiss break as a way to give your partner your sexiest gaze. Sometimes, all your partner needs are sizzling eye contact to know how much you want them. Remember, though, that eye contact should happen during breaks only. Never open your eyes during the frenching as your partner may be weirded out by it.
14Sloppy can be sexy, but too much can be messy.
Just like in blowjobs, sloppy torrid kisses can be hot AF. However, be careful with too much saliva during the torrid kiss sesh. Some peeps are not into that, so just keep it minimal unless your partner wants to get it wet and dripping.
15Never forget to communicate.
Communication is the keyword here. Talk to each other and be open about what you like and don’t like. Ask whether there’s an area you can improve on and if there is, how can you improve on it. Being honest like this, makes you realize your mistakes and gives you good pointers so you do better next time.
Best Torrid Kiss Positions
Aside from learning the best french kiss techniques, the secret to titillating frenching is going for the hottest positions. This allows you and your partner to have more skin-to-skin contact and play with each other’s erogenous zones. Here are some of the must-try positions when having a makeout sesh.
This classic position enables more skinship between you and your lover. We know that most of our readers are pretty familiar with this one, but for the newbies, here’s how it goes: Partner A will be lying down on their back, while Partner B will be kneeling down in front of partner A and go on top of them.
Go for this position if you’re making out in a smaller space, like inside a car. For this one, Partner A will be sitting, while Partner B will be sitting right on their lap, facing them. They will then proceed with french kissing.
If you’re looking for a french kiss position that evokes steamy passion, you should try this one. Partner A and B must lie on their side, facing each other. They will then wrap their legs and arms on one another. After that, the couple will proceed in frenching.
This is the kind of french kiss position that works well in bars and nightclubs, so just in case you met someone at a club and wanted to make out with the cutie you’ve been dancing all night with, go for this one. All you need to do is go somewhere with a wall, ask your partner to lean back on the wall or lean back to the wall, then start tongue kissing.
If you and your partner enjoy a loooooot of neck kisses and sensual caresses while making out, then got for this sultry yet comfy position. Partner A will be kneeling and sitting on other legs, while Partner B will be sitting on their lap, facing the same direction as Partner A. They can then proceed with the deed.
Frequently Asked Questions
You’ve learned the techniques. You’ve discovered the different tips. We’ve also handed you out some of the best positions for torrid kissing. However, we know that there are still questions lingering in your mind about this activity. No worries, as we’ve answered the frequently asked questions below.
1Why is it called “French Kiss?”
There’s no concrete explanation about the term, but one common theory about its origin was that it was coined by American and British servicemen. They were delightfully surprised at how intense French women kissed. When they returned home, they used the term “French kissing” to tell their compatriots their sultry escapades.
Other people believe that the term was made because of the French people’s reputation for adventurous and lustful sex practices.
2How does a French kiss feel?
It depends on the individual. However, most people agree that a torrid kiss can evoke one’s erotic senses. This is because it simultaneously stimulates two erogenous zones— the tongue and lips.
3What is the difference between a normal kiss and a French kiss?
Normal lip service doesn’t involve the tongue, unlike a torrid kiss where your tongue takes the spotlight.
4How long should a French kiss last?
It depends on the couple. Some may prefer a few minutes, while others may want to spend a longer time with it.
5Is a french kiss the best type of kiss?
It may be the most intense form of kissing, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the best type of kissing out there. The best type of kiss is the one that you and your partner enjoy the most. Pushing the notion that french kissing is the best type of kiss will only pressure some people to engage in it even if they don’t like it at all.
Before you indulge in some steamy kissing, remember that practice is the key. Even if you’ve read or watched countless how-tos; if you’re just making out for the first time, don’t expect to be perfect just like the movies. Movies make it look so romantic and natural. It’s a picture-perfect scene that tricks you into thinking that French kissing is as effortless as breathing.
But reality doesn’t work like that. You need some time to master the technique and give your partner the alluring kisses that they deserve.
Also, learning how to torrid kiss seems rather easy when you’re just reading it on a website. But now that you’ve gathered what you can, it’s up to you to test out what you’ve learned here in real life. Good luck!