How to Have Phone Sex: 30 Tips to Level Up Your SOP Game

Is your partner away for a business trip, or are you single and are looking for a way to quench that sexual thirst? We can feel your struggle. You’re lying there, longing for that sexy voice and playful touch that you’ve been getting from your former or current partner. You tried to divert your attention by checking new web shows, but the thirst just won’t go away—what now?

Well, you can always rely on your hand or sex toys to masturbate your sorrows away, but here’s a better idea— how about engaging your special someone in steamy phone sex?

What is Phone Sex?

Phone sex, also known as SOP (Sex On Phone), is an activity between two (or more) consenting adults, which involves sexually explicit conversations. It consists of descriptive sexual scenarios, dirty talk, moaning, mutual masturbation, and/or sex toy play. It’s a simple way of getting intimate with someone. All you need is a fully charged phone, reliable signal, a private space, and a wild imagination.

Phone Sex Tips

Curious about this activity? We got you covered. Here’s a detailed guide on how to successfully have phone sex with your partner. It’ll be divided into three parts: before, during, and after the call. We’ve also listed some sexy phrases and love toy essentials that you can use, so make sure to stay tuned ’till the end. Let’s get started!

Before The Call

It’s fun to have spontaneous phone sex, but having a surprise phone call where you tell your partner sexual phrases doesn’t work for anyone. It also doesn’t work with someone you’ve just met over the internet and haven’t had sex with in person, as you don’t fully know their preferences. So for good measure, just plan it out first. This will prevent mishaps and misunderstandings during the deed. Here are some of the things you should do before having phone sex.

1Start with asking for consent.

Communicating your interest in phone sex is a crucial step. Ask your partner if they want to do it. If they said yes, ask them when is the right time to engage in it. If you’ve already tried doing phone sex with your partner, don’t assume that they’re going to consent in the next session. Always ask first. Remember, giving consent isn’t a one-time thing. It’s active and can be withdrawn at any time.

On the other hand, if your partner’s uninterested in this activity, you need to respect that. Some people are simply not into phone calls and even get anxious when receiving one. What you can only do now is to suggest other activities, such as sexting.

2Discuss each other’s preferences.

Got your partner’s consent? Good. Now, you need to talk about each other’s preferences.

What’s your preferred language? Are there words that are off-limits? Is there a fantasy that you would like to explore while having phone sex? Are curse words off-limits? These are just some of the topics that you need to tackle. Doing this will lessen the awkwardness since you’ve already got an idea about the possible flow of the convo.

3Expand your erotic vocab.

Once you’re done with the initial communication, it’s time to start prepping.

Since phone sex is all about speaking up, one of the main things you need to prepare is your sultry vocabulary. Usual phrases like “Oh yes…” and “It feels soooo good” just won’t cut it. You need to be more creative to make things spicy up until the end. Now, if you’re wondering how to expand your erotic vocab, here are ways on doing so:

Read Erotica – Reading erotica is one of the surefire ways to learn new nouns, verbs, adjectives that you can use for your own erotic scenes.

Listen to Audio Erotica – Now, if you want to learn new terms and figure how to effectively turn someone on just by words, you can surely rely on audio erotica on that. Take some notes—how does the character start the story? How’s the pace? Are there lots of moaning involved? Since it’s closest to phone sex, audio erotica can serve as a template.

Watch Erotic Videos – With this method, make sure to search on quality porn sites, as most porn videos have cheesy dialogue in them. Once you have the content, take some time to watch it, focusing on the steamy exchange between the characters.

Use a Sexting Robot – Yes, a sexting bot exists. Thanks to the innovative team from Juicebox, we now have a sexting robot called Shoutbox. This playful but will surely sharpen your dirty talk skills.

4Plan out some phrases.

You don’t have to create a script when having phone sex. You may just end up sounding unnatural by doing that. Just list down some sexy lines that you can use as filler when there are dead-air moments.

Just grab your pen and start listing some sexual scenarios you’re both interested in, or some lines describing how hot your partner is, or even some general sensual lines; we’ve listed some examples below.

Sultry Questions

• Do you want to know what I am wearing?
• Do you know how wet I am right now?
• Are you hungry, baby? I want to swallow you up.
• What do you feel like doing to me?
• You are a good little slut, aren’t you?
• What is your favorite part of my body?
• Where do you want to touch me right now?
• What’s your dirtiest sexual fantasy?
• You decide to give me a full body massage. Where do you start?
• What’s an instant turn-on for you?

Sensual Phrases

• I’m craving you.
• Ohhhh… I love your body so much.
• Baby, you are too sexy for me to resist.
• I need to feel you inside me.
• Do whatever you want with me…
• I just wanna be your sex slut.
• Thinking about you touching me, literally, turns me on.
• I want to taste myself on your cock.
• You feel so good inside of me, baby.
• I need you so bad right now.
• You get me so hot.
• I want you to cum for me.
• Tell me how much you love it when I fuck you.
• I want you to take control of me.
• I’m touching myself. Too bad you aren’t here…
• Make me cum with your tongue.
• I wanna bathe in your cum…
• This new underwear feels soooo good against my skin…

5Figure out your ‘sexy’ voice.

Sometimes, all it takes to make your partner go wild is a subtle voice change. So instead of using your regular speaking voice, try talking in a sexier tone. There are several guides on making your voice sexier; make sure to check those articles just like this one from seductionscience.com.

Take note, though, you have phone sex, not a voice actor audition. Unless you’re roleplaying on the call, don’t completely change your voice; your partner might just find it weird and off-putting instead of sexy.

6Remove all distractions.

Lock your bedroom door. Let your pets chill outside for a bit. Reply on important texts, then set your phone to do-not-disturb mode. Ensure that you’ve attended to all deliveries or someone’s at home that can cater to your courier.

Setting aside all the distractions is needed for this to work. You sure don’t want a kinky call to end just because your mom starts messaging you about groceries.

Aside from finishing your responsibilities and removing possible distractions, you’ll also need to release mental and emotional distractions. Stop thinking about your laundry, unfinished paperwork, and other things that are stressing you out. If you’re not focused enough, you might as well not engage in phone sex in the first place.

7Dress for the part.

Dressing sexy will make you feel sexier. Wear your favorite lingerie, lace undies, or boxers. You can also wear something that’s connected to your desired fantasy, such as a school or work-related uniform. You can also get all out and just be naked at the start of the act.

8Set the scene.

Aside from what you’re wearing, you also need to amp up your surroundings. Decorating your room with scented candles and sultry red fairy lights can definitely get you in the mood. So don’t just invest in sexy costumes; make sure to get additional home decor too!

9Prep your essentials.

Make sure your phone is fully charged, and your internet connection or phone signal is strong. The last thing you want to experience is your phone suddenly going off due to loss of power or having choppy calls with your boo. Aside from a fully charged phone and strong wifi, ensure to have the following nearby for a smooth-sailing phone sex session:

1. Sex toys (e.g., app-controlled ones for an enhanced experience)
2. Lube
3. Stimulants
4. Erotic books or content to keep you entertained and aroused
5. Power bank 
6. Charger
7. Water
8. Towel

10Leave them hanging!

Be a tease! Try not to send anything visual (e.g., nudes, sensual videos) or auditory (e.g., sexy voice messages) before having phone sex. Building this tension up makes things more exciting and heart-racing, warming your bodies up even more. In the meantime, let them use their imagination before the time comes. Because sometimes, patience is a virtue that can enhance phone sexcapades!

11 Listen to guided masturbation audio content.

There’s nothing hotter than following a sexy voice talking to you, even if they don’t know you personally. But what they do know is that you’re turned on and want to get you off with their voice instructing you.
Listening to such content gets all of your senses riled up and making you more responsive. You can find content like this from adult performers who provide guided masturbation or JOI (jerk-off instructions) through paid and free porn sites. Think of it as solo foreplay to get you in the mood a lot deeper.

During The Call

Is everything ready? It’s now time to press that call button. Here are some of the tips that you should try when engaging in phone sex.

12Start slow.

Phone sex may not be as intense as actual sex, but it still holds the same principles as in-person sex does. Same with actual sex, don’t just go straight to the wild details when engaging in an SOP. Start with a playful greeting and then slowly move to the sexual stuff as you go along. This builds anticipation, making you and your partner all warmed up for what’s about to come.

13Ask questions.

The best way to start phone sex is to ask questions. Ask your partner about what they’re wearing, about their surroundings, and the sexy things they want to do with you. Take turns on doing this, making the questions raunchier than the previous one. Same with the previous tip, doing this will build anticipation and set the scene. If you want to get some starter questions, scroll down to see our sample questions for phone sex.

14Keep the words and phrases as simple as possible.

Don’t get too complicated with the words you’re gonna use. Though we’ve recommended checking erotic books and videos as part of expanding your erotic vocab, this doesn’t mean you should exactly use the complicated phrases or words that were published on those content. Don’t go for “Your pleasure pearl makes my loins starve with sexual hunger.” when you just want to say that you want to lick her clit. Just use the words that you casually use with your lover, then add some sultry fluff here and there.

15Use descriptive and action-oriented words.

Instead of just saying that you’re horny or currently masturbating, vividly describe it to your partner. Also, use action-oriented words when describing what you’re doing or what you desire to do for your partner. Do you want to lick his balls? Don’t say it literally. Instead, tell him how you badly want to play his balls with the tip of your tongue. As for the wordplay, make it as graphic and saucy as possible.

16Be attentive to your partner’s cues.

When engaging in phone sex, it’s important to be an active listener, giving appropriate reactions based on your partner is saying. Are they moaning and giving affirmative cues? Do they sound uncomfortable or unenthusiastic when responding? These are just some of the things you’ll need to check on during the activity.

17Incorporate roleplaying.

What’s nice about roleplaying through phone sex is that it’s limitless. You can play any character you desire since there are no physical boundaries that stop you from filling your fantasy. If you want to be a secretary bending over to your boss in their office, you can do that via phone sex as you don’t have to actually be in an office—a vivid description of the place will do.

As long as your partner is game with your kinks, you’ll surely have a good time. Just make sure to discuss this beforehand instead of incorporating this in the middle of the act.

To fully submerge yourself in the role, try wearing an outfit that’s related to your persona, as well as terms related to that character. If you’re playing as a doctor, familiarize yourself with medical terms. If you’re playing as a secretary, memorize some lines or words that a secretary would say.

18Read erotica to your partner.

Become your partner’s naughty storyteller. If you’re not good with words but still want to give that surreal phone sex experience to your boo, then erotica is your best friend. Just unleash that sexy voice on, and you’re good to go.

19Relieve your hottest sexcapades.

If the roleplaying or erotica trick doesn’t work, you might want to try this activity instead. Have a storytime sesh, but instead of reading fiction, just tell the hottest sex that you had with your boo. Remember that sizzling car sex that you had before? Or that unforgettable sex on the beach? Take turns telling these sultry memories, and you’ll surely find each other getting on a heated frenzy.

20Tell your partner how sexy they are.

Another great way to heat things up is telling your partner the things that make them sexy. Does their smoldering gaze turn you on? Is there something about their plump booty that excites you down there? Is there something sexy on the way they say your name? Let your partner know these juicy details.

21Moan, baby, moan!

Moans, grunts, deep breaths, and other non-worded cues are hella sexy. It’s also a good filler in case you forgot the stuff that you’re about to say. Don’t try too hard, though—you wouldn’t want to sound fake and turn your partner off.

22Masturbate together.

Do you know what makes phone sex so much better? Mutual masturbation. Involve explicit acts while sharing explicit stuff with each other. Touch yourself while you moan their name, either with your hands or with a sex toy. As you go through the self-pleasure motions, describe the activity to your partner, play-by-play. You can also opt for guided masturbation— ask your partner to take the lead and instruct you on how you’ll masturbate.

23Use sex toys, preferably app-enabled toys.

As mutual masturbation goes hand in hand with phone sex, you might wanna invest yourself in some basic sex toys such as a vibrator, fleshlight, and butt plugs. By using sex toys during phone sex, you’ll focus more on talking to your partner than playing with your intimate area.

Now, if you have the extra budget, we highly recommend getting app-enabled toys with long-distance control. What’s great about smart love toys is that you can let your partner play with your toy while having phone sex with them; it’ll definitely amp up the play!

24Take turns unless your partner prefers to take the lead.

When engaging in phone sex, you might be carried away with your own words that you end up babbling throughout the session— don’t do this! Phone sex should be fun for both parties. Unless you’ve agreed upon that someone will take the lead or you have activities that involve a speaker and listener (such as the reading erotica trick), you should beg taking turns in sharing those naughty lines.

25Check yourself and your partner during the deed.

Ask your partner from time to time if they’re enjoying the phone sex. Make sure that they’re comfortable with the activity and aren’t just forcing themselves on it. A simple “Are you enjoying this, babe?” will suffice. Be careful, though— make sure you’re not asking them this question during a crucial point on the call. You might ruin the momentum and your partner’s mood by checking on them at the wrong moment.

Aside from checking your partner, you also need to check yourself too. Do you enjoy doing it? Are you getting uncomfortable with the sexual scenario? Are you starting to get sick and want to end the call as soon as possible? Tell your partner what you currently feel and see if you should go on or discontinue the call.

26Stop the act if you’re getting uncomfortable.

As we’ve mentioned earlier, consent can be withdrawn at any time. So if you start to feel distressed with what your partner said, it’s best to gently tell them that they’ve said something that’s triggering, and you want to end the phone call immediately. Don’t force yourself or your partner to engage in phone sex when you or your partner no longer wants to proceed.

27Take the pressure off and enjoy!

Here’s the real deal about phone sex— it’s always going to be awkward for the first time. There’s gonna be some dead-air moments, nervous chuckles, random grunts, unnatural lines that are straight from erotic novels, and so much more. It’s never going to be perfect. So when engaging SOP sesh, just loosen up and go with the flow. As long as both parties are enthusiastic about it and you’ve communicated before the call, you’re gonna do just fine.

After the Call

As you and your boo have reached the orgasmic heavens, here are some tips that will help you end the call smoothly, as well as kickstart your next phone sex sessions.

28Don’t hang up instantly.

The first instinct after reaching climax is to bid goodbye—don’t do this! Phone sex without a good post-sex chat is like sex without cuddles. Take some time to thank your partner for the time, have a quick casual talk even share feedback about the recent sex-on-phone session.

29Search for new sultry ways to have phone sex.

Instead of using the same techniques all over again, search for new tricks over the net. There are tons of phone sex techniques and games that you can use to keep the hotness meter on the top.

Experimenting with your look also improves the SOP experience. Wearing sexy and kinky costumes will surely add more flavor to the act. If your partner is into roleplaying, look for costumes that go along with their desired fantasies.

30Take some time to practice.

Practice makes perfect. With this, you don’t have to practice with your partner—recording using your mobile phone will do. Just play around with the delivery of words as well with your sexy voice. Improve on pronouncing some words and make sure that it sounds as natural as possible.

Phone Sex Essentials

Getting ready for your SOP sesh? Before pressing the call button, make sure that you’ve got your essentials ready! Here are Lauvette’s top picks for sex toys are pleasure products that are perfect for phone sex.

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Takeaway

Phone sex is not just an alternative sexual activity; it’s an immersive erotic experience that most couples enjoy. It’s not as cringy or awkward as some people claim it to be; as long as you and your lover are confident to pull this off, you’ll surely enjoy this sexual act. So go ahead, pick up the phone, and send your partner in a heated frenzy. Have fun!