If you stumbled upon this article not realizing what mutual masturbation is, it’s a sexual act wherein two people masturbate together. They can either use toys or just their hands. They can also try touching each other through the whole process or just independently fap to each other’s gazes.
Sounds like a fun frisky activity, isn’t it? However, most couples shy away from this act.
Due to the ‘sinful’ and ‘gross’ nature of masturbation, people have become ashamed of doing it in front of their partners. Some people even think that masturbating with your partner is a form of cheating—that people who do this are not attracted to their partners anymore. They also consider masturbation as a hinder to having fruitful sex lives.
Well, that’s not necessarily the case. Studies show that couples who masturbate frequently also engage in sex more frequently. So if you’re thinking that engaging in mutual masturbation will ruin your sex life or relationship, it’s time to change perspective.
What is Mutual Masturbation?
Mutual masturbation is an act of partnered solo play, wherein one is self-inflicting pleasure towards themselves while their partner watches them. It can be from a distance in a room, through video call, or even via phone while said partner listens to them get off. But aside from just viewing, their partner can also touch and pleasure themselves at the same time.
Toys can be added during this act to heighten the session’s intensity. Apart from this, mutual masturbation can serve as foreplay or the main show between your partner. Either way, it’ll make the two of you heated and aroused towards each other. This act proves how you don’t need deep penetration to be sexually pleasured and merely focus on creating a connection with your partner.
Types of Mutual Masturbation
This partnered solo play has quite a variety. Here are some types you can browse through and consider when you’re interested in mutually pleasuring yourself and your partner.
One type is masturbating in the presence of your partner. They’d observe how your fingers or toys play around with your body, taking mental notes on what drives you to your absolute sexual peak. It’s nothing to be shy over but something to be embraced because witnessing you arch your back and completely go undone is captivating.
The second type is jacking off the genitals of your and your partner simultaneously. Beside each other, you squirm, moan, groan, and constantly use your hands/toys to make your world crumble. You can also use a mirror to pick up details contributing to your partner’s pleasure vividly.
Why You Should Masturbate Together
Aside from the increase in sexual engagement, there are other benefits that this sensuous activity holds. Here are some of the reasons why you should try mutual masturbation. Read away!
1Pleasure is guaranteed.
One of the best things about mutual masturbation is that you’ll surely get those Ohhhhs. For our women readers, we know that getting off during penetrative sex is a rare occurrence. That’s what this activity ensures though since you’re the one maneuvering your lady parts. Overall, this activity is a great way to experience pleasure with your partner in a less complicated way.
2You’ll get to know each other’s preferences.
Mutual masturbation can also be a learning experience. While you’re doing it, you’ll get to see how your partner likes to be touched.
Is she focusing on stimulating her clit? Does he like faster strokes? Is she using two or three fingers? Is he stroking his penis tightly? With mutual masturbation, you get to see their preferred action and be able to incorporate it on your next steamy session.
3It can easily fit into your existing sex life.
Unlike other sexual activities, such as BDSM or Roleplay, you don’t need that much preparation when doing this activity. You can just start talking about it, prep for a few minutes, then start doing it. You don’t also need tons of tools just to successfully achieve this, your hands and some lube would suffice (Though sex toys will surely make the experience better!)
4It’s the safest sex you can get.
As long as you don’t plan on having penetrative sex afterward, mutual masturbation will surely prevent you from getting pregnant. Mutual masturbation also protects you from sexually transmitted diseases or infections (STDs/STIs), as long as you don’t share sex toys during the deed.
5It’s immensely intimate!
Contrary to popular belief, mutual masturbation is hella intimate. When you’re masturbating in front of someone, you’re basically showing that vulnerable side of yours that you’ve probably never shared with anyone. There are also ways to make your partner more involved with the act: You can have a steamy makeout session or touch each other during the deed.
5 Mutual Masturbation Sex Positions
Now that you’ve learned about the benefits of mutual masturbation, we can feel the excitement running through your veins. You’re probably chatting your boo right now and talking about this. Well, good for ya! But before you start meeting up your boo for some one-on-one masturbation session, you need to learn some of the basic mutual masturbation positions first.
1Side by Side
If you’re first-timers to this activity, we suggest doing it with this position. With this position, it feels like a typical solo session for you, just with someone by your side. The Side by Side also eases out the awkwardness since you don’t necessarily have eye contact with this position.
How to do it: You and your partner must lie on your backs. Once positioned, you can start playing your genitals. You can also overlap each other’s limbs, hold hands, or even touch each other as the session gets steamier.
As the name suggests, this position is like spooning, but the couples are facing each other. If you’re starting to get comfortable with the act and is craving for some intimate gazing, this position is a must-try.
How to do it: Lie by your sides, facing each other. Once positioned, start playing around. Take full advantage of this position by making out or engaging in dirty talk during the deed.
Want to see the solo action in full view? Oh boy, here’s a position that you should definitely try. With this position, the sky’s the limit as you can do various solo play positions. However, there are downsides to it, such as not being able to make out during the act.
How to do it: In a bed or couch, you’ll need to sit on either end, facing each other. Once positioned, you can start spreading your legs and play with your genitals. You can also do some random position such as bending over and only showing your booty while you touch yourself. Just make sure that your bed or couch is covered with towels, in case things get messy.
With mutual masturbation, you don’t necessarily have to be with the person in the same room. Thanks to technology, you can experience pleasure with someone even if they’re miles away. Now with this position, you just need a stable internet connection, secure messenger platform, and a trusted partner.
How to do it: Using a smartphone or laptop, start by having a video chat with your partner. You can spice things up by doing a striptease, or even get down to the business and greet them with your glorious nakedness. Once you’re all set, you can start playing. Take note though: Make sure that the person you’re chatting to is fully trusted and that you’re using messenger platforms that prevent screen recording.
If you wanna emulate the feeling of having sex without actually penetrating each other, this is a perfect position for you. This is also considered an upgraded version to the Live Show position– you see the full action, but at the same time is close enough to physically interact with each other.
How to do it: Have the man lie down on his back while the woman climbs on top of him, facing him. Instead of sitting on his genitals, the woman must sit on his thighs, giving him some space as he jerks off. Once positioned, you can then start playing.
Mutual Masturbation Tips
You’ve discovered the benefits. You’ve studied the basic positions. Now, it’s time to learn about the tips to successfully achieve this deed! Get the most out of this steamy activity by doing these tips below.
1Start with a conversation.
People have various perspectives on masturbation. Don’t expect that your partner will just be chill with the idea of mutual masturbation. Don’t just suggest this during sex or you might ruin a fiery moment.
Communication is a must before any sexual activity. If your partner isn’t ready to try this sexual act, you can help them deal with the reason as to why they wouldn’t it, or patiently wait until they’re ready to explore.
2Take the pressure off.
Instead of focusing on getting the big O, focus on enjoying the sensuous moment. Remember, mutual masturbation isn’t a race. There’s no prize for the person who’ll get to cum first (or last!) If you keep thinking about orgasming, you’ll feel more pressure than ever and may end up dissatisfied.
3Do it with sex toys.
If you want to level up your mutual masturbation game, using sex toys is the way to go. Aside from the fun you’ll get from using these steamy toys, it’s also a great way to show your partner how to use particular toys, such as vibrators, dildo, nipple clamps, masturbators, clit suckers, and anal plugs. Just make sure it’s cleaned and sanitized before using it or you may end up with unnecessary complications such as UTI.
4Watch porn together.
If seeing each other wanking doesn’t suffice, why not take try doing it with porn? It’s just like netflix-and-chill, but you’re actually watching.
Pick a category that works best for both of you. Stay away from films that could trigger each other’s insecurities—if you already know that she’s not blessed in the chest area, the last thing you should be playing is super busty girl gets creamed. Just don’t.
5Mix it with your other kinks.
As mentioned above, mutual masturbation can easily fit into your existing sex life. So if you’re into roleplay, pony play, bondage, voyeurism, wax play, or clothed sex, amp up the experience by masturbating together. Just discuss it beforehand, get all the needed toys, and you’ll be good to go!
Frequently Asked Questions
Still curious about Mutual Masturbation? Here are some commonly asked questions we gathered and our educational responses to them.
Do I need to be in a romantic relationship to try this?
Nope, and that’s what makes it more enjoyable! These days, many people are only searching for a sexual relationship. So if that’s where you stand, then go for it! Even if they say that mutual masturbation is an intimate activity, it riles up your non-romantic partner and makes them learn your ins and outs of pleasure.
Health-wise, how does mutual masturbation benefit us?
Performing mutual masturbation with your partner can lessen tension in your muscles, improve your sleeping patterns, release endorphins (aka happy hormones you get from working out), and lessen stress levels. Speaking of the latter, everyone loves such a decrease. No wonder doing anything sexual is constantly acted on to relieve stress.
Is mutual masturbation compatible for a voyeur-exhibitionist dynamic?
Yes! Especially for the first type of mutual masturbation we mentioned earlier, you can expose yourselves to your full nudity as you rake your hands all over your body to touch and please yourself. Your partner can be the voyeur viewing your actions like a movie, perhaps partaking in self-pleasuring too. Or take it vice versa, and learn how your partner likes to be pleased.
I like this kind of sexual play. How do I bring it up with my partner?
Read the room first. If you and your partner are in good spirits, politely ask them if they are free to talk. Assuming your sex life is a common thing you discuss, introduce them slowly to this sexual play. Perhaps show them our guide about it to learn more about it. After that, give them time to think about adding a new practice to your sex life. If they give the green light, proceed as is. If it’s not in their interests, don’t force it. We wish you good luck on this one!
Am I at risk of STIs with this sexual play?
There’s a little to no chance of getting STIs, but it’s always best to stay safe and wary. Since a secondary set of bodily fluids are released in this play (vaginal or semen), make sure you and your partner get tested clean beforehand!
Mutual masturbation is such an underrated activity. We get that there’s a stigma surrounding mutual masturbation, but it’s 2020 already—we should be opening ourselves to new erotic possibilities. There’s no reason to shy away from activities that will improve our lovemaking skills.
So go ahead, grab your boo, prepare your toys, and play your sexy playlist– turn the mild night into a wild one!