If you stumbled upon this article not realizing what mutual masturbation is, it’s a sexual act wherein two people masturbate together. They can either use toys or just their hands. They can also try touching each other through the whole process or just independently fap to each other’s gazes.
Sounds like a fun frisky activity, isn’t it? However, most couples shy away from this act.
Due to the ‘sinful’ and ‘gross’ nature of masturbation, people have become ashamed of doing it in front of their partners. Some people even think that masturbating with your partner is a form of cheating—that people who do this are not attracted to their partners anymore. They also consider masturbation as a hinder to having fruitful sex lives.
Well, that’s not necessarily the case. Studies show that couples who masturbate frequently also engage in sex more frequently. So if you’re thinking that engaging in mutual masturbation will ruin your sex life or relationship, it’s time to change perspective.
Why You Should Masturbate Together
Aside from the increase in sexual engagement, there are other benefits that this sensuous activity holds. Here are some of the reasons why you should try mutual masturbation. Read away!
1Pleasure is guaranteed.
One of the best things about mutual masturbation is that you’ll surely get those Ohhhhs. For our women readers, we know that getting off during penetrative sex is a rare occurrence. That’s what this activity ensures though since you’re the one maneuvering your lady parts. Overall, this activity is a great way to experience pleasure with your partner in a less complicated way.
2You’ll get to know each other’s preferences.
Mutual masturbation can also be a learning experience. While you’re doing it, you’ll get to see how your partner likes to be touched.
Is she focusing on stimulating her clit? Does he like faster strokes? Is she using two or three fingers? Is he stroking his penis tightly? With mutual masturbation, you get to see their preferred action and be able to incorporate it on your next steamy session.
3It can easily fit into your existing sex life.
Unlike other sexual activities, such as BDSM or Roleplay, you don’t need that much preparation when doing this activity. You can just start talking about it, prep for a few minutes, then start doing it. You don’t also need tons of tools just to successfully achieve this, your hands and some lube would suffice (Though sex toys will surely make the experience better!)
4It’s the safest sex you can get.
As long as you don’t plan on having penetrative sex afterward, mutual masturbation will surely prevent you from getting pregnant. Mutual masturbation also protects you from sexually transmitted diseases or infections (STDs/STIs), as long as you don’t share sex toys during the deed.
5It’s immensely intimate!
Contrary to popular belief, mutual masturbation is hella intimate. When you’re masturbating in front of someone, you’re basically showing that vulnerable side of yours that you’ve probably never shared with anyone. There are also ways to make your partner more involved with the act: You can have a steamy makeout session or touch each other during the deed.
5 Mutual Masturbation Sex Positions
Now that you’ve learned about the benefits of mutual masturbation, we can feel the excitement running through your veins. You’re probably chatting your boo right now and talking about this. Well, good for ya! But before you start meeting up your boo for some one-on-one masturbation session, you need to learn some of the basic mutual masturbation positions first.
1Side by Side
If you’re first-timers to this activity, we suggest doing it with this position. With this position, it feels like a typical solo session for you, just with someone by your side. The Side by Side also eases out the awkwardness since you don’t necessarily have eye contact with this position.
How to do it: You and your partner must lie on your backs. Once positioned, you can start playing your genitals. You can also overlap each other’s limbs, hold hands, or even touch each other as the session gets steamier.
As the name suggests, this position is like spooning, but the couples are facing each other. If you’re starting to get comfortable with the act and is craving for some intimate gazing, this position is a must-try.
How to do it: Lie by your sides, facing each other. Once positioned, start playing around. Take full advantage of this position by making out or engaging in dirty talk during the deed.
Want to see the solo action in full view? Oh boy, here’s a position that you should definitely try. With this position, the sky’s the limit as you can do various solo play positions. However, there are downsides to it, such as not being able to make out during the act.
How to do it: In a bed or couch, you’ll need to sit on either end, facing each other. Once positioned, you can start spreading your legs and play with your genitals. You can also do some random position such as bending over and only showing your booty while you touch yourself. Just make sure that your bed or couch is covered with towels, in case things get messy.
With mutual masturbation, you don’t necessarily have to be with the person in the same room. Thanks to technology, you can experience pleasure with someone even if they’re miles away. Now with this position, you just need a stable internet connection, secure messenger platform, and a trusted partner.
How to do it: Using a smartphone or laptop, start by having a video chat with your partner. You can spice things up by doing a striptease, or even get down to the business and greet them with your glorious nakedness. Once you’re all set, you can start playing. Take note though: Make sure that the person you’re chatting to is fully trusted and that you’re using messenger platforms that prevent screen recording.
If you wanna emulate the feeling of having sex without actually penetrating each other, this is a perfect position for you. This is also considered an upgraded version to the Live Show position– you see the full action, but at the same time is close enough to physically interact with each other.
How to do it: Have the man lie down on his back while the woman climbs on top of him, facing him. Instead of sitting on his genitals, the woman must sit on his thighs, giving him some space as he jerks off. Once positioned, you can then start playing.
Mutual Masturbation Tips
You’ve discovered the benefits. You’ve studied the basic positions. Now, it’s time to learn about the tips to successfully achieve this deed! Get the most out of this steamy activity by doing these tips below.
1Start with a conversation.
People have various perspectives on masturbation. Don’t expect that your partner will just be chill with the idea of mutual masturbation. Don’t just suggest this during sex or you might ruin a fiery moment.
Communication is a must before any sexual activity. If your partner isn’t ready to try this sexual act, you can help them deal with the reason as to why they wouldn’t it, or patiently wait until they’re ready to explore.
2Take the pressure off.
Instead of focusing on getting the big O, focus on enjoying the sensuous moment. Remember, mutual masturbation isn’t a race. There’s no prize for the person who’ll get to cum first (or last!) If you keep thinking about orgasming, you’ll feel more pressure than ever and may end up dissatisfied.
3Do it with sex toys.
If you want to level up your mutual masturbation game, using sex toys is the way to go. Aside from the fun you’ll get from using these steamy toys, it’s also a great way to show your partner how to use particular toys, such as vibrators, dildo, nipple clamps, masturbators, clit suckers, and anal plugs. Just make sure it’s cleaned and sanitized before using it or you may end up with unnecessary complications such as UTI.
4Watch porn together.
If seeing each other wanking doesn’t suffice, why not take try doing it with porn? It’s just like netflix-and-chill, but you’re actually watching.
Pick a category that works best for both of you. Stay away from films that could trigger each other’s insecurities—if you already know that she’s not blessed in the chest area, the last thing you should be playing is super busty girl gets creamed. Just don’t.
5Mix it with your other kinks.
As mentioned above, mutual masturbation can easily fit into your existing sex life. So if you’re into roleplay, pony play, bondage, voyeurism, wax play, or clothed sex, amp up the experience by masturbating together. Just discuss it beforehand, get all the needed toys, and you’ll be good to go!
Mutual masturbation is such an underrated activity. We get that there’s a stigma surrounding mutual masturbation, but it’s 2020 already—we should be opening ourselves to new erotic possibilities. There’s no reason to shy away from activities that will improve our lovemaking skills.
So go ahead, grab your boo, prepare your toys, and play your sexy playlist– turn the mild night into a wild one!