Boy Sober Season: Is It Worth Trying Out?

Ever heard of the term “boy sober season”? Well, if you’re over the ropes of dating or even just the talking stage, this short guide is for you! Delve into the intriguing details about this interesting period that lots of girlies doing this year.

What is Boy Sober Season?

Boy Sober Season is a period, or rather a strong decision, wherein someone, primarily straight women, takes a much-needed break from dating. But just because it’s a trend that was started by women, anyone can participate in this trend or period. Speaking of which, there’s no set deadline, but it can range from a few months to even a year. This trend first blew up on TikTok, wherein now a lot of people, Gen Z, millennials, and more, have gained an interest in trying it out.

The primary focus of boy sober season promotes the rediscovery of self-care and self-love.

Reasons Why The Girlies Are Having Boy Sober Season

Unveil the various causes behind said girlies taking a break from dating and relationships below.

1 They want to reclaim me time.

When dating, there’s so much emphasis on the relationship and also on who they are in it. But during boy sober season, it’s all about them, what they want to do, and how to spend their time. In the words of content creator Tam Kaur, this is your time to become self-obsessed.

2 They regain independence and autonomy.

Pursuing boy sober season means having full focus on your personal dreams and goals without relying on someone else. You even have more control over your body and sexual needs, prioritizing masturbation and solo pleasure.

We have amazing sex toys for that over here.

3 It paves the way for personal growth.

Quite in line with the previous point, boy sober season provides deep introspection and personal development. When you have all that attention and energy, invest in yourself. This season is a time to learn more about yourself that you have yet to know and grow into an enhanced version of yourself. All while loving who you become each step of the way.

4 It allows them to reflect on what they really want in life.

Dating can shift how we view ourselves and our future, especially when there’s another person involved. However, when you free yourselves from that for a bit, this extra time gets you to figure out your own desires. You feel freer and more open to doing and trying anything without hearing a second party’s opinion.

5 It helps them heal and move on.

Especially when you’ve just broke up with a long-time partner, got cheated on, experienced a super toxic relationship, going boy sober is a breath of fresh air you oh so needed. Not only are you getting much-needed space, but you gain time to reflect on what happened, learn from it, and gain strength from it over time.

Benefits of Boy Sober Season

When you embark on your own boy sober season, you gain more joy, security, and alignment with who you are. You become more confident too within yourself and how you approach others. Those factors help solidify your identity. And as a result, it would help you better distinguish the kinds of people you’d want to date in the future. Especially when this season takes a long time, you heal a lot more each day and become a lot more knowledgeable about your wants and deal-breakers. 

Aside from this, you also get to work on yourself and be more productive towards your dreams and goals. Plus, you set better boundaries and get to deepen other relationships in your life, such as your friends, family, and even close colleagues.

All in all, you regain balance and stability. From your emotions to how you deal with your current relationships, there’s more control and ease.

Main Rules To Follow To Have a Successful Boy Sober Season

Remember these top rules when you’re ready to embark on your own boy sober season.

1 Delete your dating apps.

Bumble, Tinder, Grindr, let it go. Those apps will just tempt you to scroll and scroll when you can use the time to work on yourself. Even online dating sites count here, so it’s time to give them a block on your laptop and phone!

2 Reject any dates or retos.

For those invitations that happen in person, turning them down during boy sober season allows you to set that boundary. But of course, do express it in a kind tone as you explain why so you don’t create any sort of tension between them.

3 Stay away from exes.

Texting or texting back, calling, liking their posts, or “just checking in” — Knock it off! They’re an ex for a reason. Protect your peace as they’re already a part of your past, and your present needs you to take action on yourself. In fact, they should already be blocked and unfollowed!

4 Avoid potential or past situationships.

In life, we may encounter people whom we’d feel attracted and tempted to have a sort of casual relationship with. That’s how the modern dating scene goes, and part of our DNA is to want to be around people in an intimate manner. However, during boy sober season, we need to stray away from those temptations so we can wipe the slate clean and start fresh in our lives! Plus, we waste time if we do engage in those relationships, and time is precious. Be wise with it.

5 Either lay off or lessen any kisses or hugs.

Another boundary to put in place, but of course, this can be tweaked. Moreover, it can be saved with loved ones. Back to the main point, minimizing kisses or hugs around acquaintances can lessen any emotional intimacy and entanglement.

6 List down what things and activities you want to pursue.

Outside of romance, take the time to ponder and even brainstorm what kind of activities excite and fulfill you. Some of which can be from your childhood or a current hobby you haven’t made time for since you prioritized dating. All in all, these things matter as they help build your identity and how you spend your free time outside of dating and even work.

7 Plan them out and schedule them in your calendar.

From the previous point, once you laid out clear and concrete activities and tasks, schedule and time-block them in your calendar. You can start with one hobby at a time just to give you that discipline and drive to show up for it, which will then aid you in showing up for yourself more.

8 Document your thoughts and personal reflections.

This season is lengthy, which means a lot of things will change. Thus, keeping a journal allows you to monitor your progress, feelings, and insights. Such entries may even serve as motivation when things get hard or when things go right, and you feel even more driven and inspired to keep going. Your journal can be tangible or your phone, but for better results, writing them down is recommended.

Takeaway

Boy sober season is an explorative time for those who want to take a temporary break from dating. With the main focus on self-care, among others, in mind, it’s a period of deep reflection and healing. So if you’re someone who needs a breather to reconnect with oneself, then feel free to hop on this transformative trend. You’ll be surprised by what a momentary pause from dating could do upon achieving your goals and dreams!

For more culture-related guides such as this one, head on over to the Lauvblog here.