Fictosexual 101: What It Is, Signs, and More

Yes, it’s possible to be so attracted to a fictional character. We’ve all had our fair share of fictional crushes. And yes, there’s a much higher chance of being fictosexual.

Let’s unravel more about this intriguing label through this very guide.

Defining What Being Fictosexual is

Fictosexuality, or fictosexual, is an umbrella term for anyone who feels any sexual, emotional, or romantic attraction towards fictional characters. And by fictional characters, it can be from books, movies, TV shows, anime, holograms, or any other piece of art that you can consume. Fictional characters can be subjective to the person. 

While having fictional crushes is one thing, being fictosexual means that the attraction is not shallow, but rather it’s deep, honest, and meaningful. Like how you’d be infatuated by a cute person, but in this situation, it can be someone from a media franchise you’re into.

Anyone can be fictosexual, from those who are heterosexual or part of the LGBTQIA+ community. It’s also under the asexual umbrella, wherein your feelings are exclusively focused on fictional characters and not actual people. Moreover, it’s a part of the greysexual spectrum, too, wherein sexuality has a middle ground rather than two main edges of a sword.

How Fictosexuality Manifests in Real Life

There are a bunch of ways where one can express fictosexuality. It’s all up to personal preference. Those ways would include (but not limited to):

1. Having deep, emotional bonds with fictional characters
2. Being part of online or offline communities that support fictosexuality
3. Creating art centered on their favorite fictional characters
4. Having romantic or sexual fantasies and acting out said fantasies
5. Purposefully choosing not to embark on real-world relationships

Causes of a Fictosexual Bond to Exist

Unravel the various reasons behind how a fictional bond is formed.

1 You feel safe.

Many fictional characters were created to serve as a source of comfort and humor for their audience. They can even serve as a momentary distraction or pause from the busyness of life, letting you slow down and just breathe. In return, you form a deep emotional connection with them, in which it makes you feel safe, secure, and even protected.

2 You’re hooked on the narrative.

When you’re tuned into a fictional character, you watch how their story unfolds. From the ups and downs, the lessons they learn, to their character development, it’s as if you really “know” and “understand” them. You’ve seen them during the highest and lowest, so it establishes a more meaningful bond with them.

You may even know unique easter eggs that only true fans or consumers may have attentively noticed.

3 The character’s symbolism draws you in further.

Whether it’s the archetype, design, or even how they sound, you’re into them. Because hey, there’s no one like them. It can be sexual, romantic, or emotional.

4 You resonate with the character.

When you’re so smitten by a character, chances are that you relate to them. You feel seen from their personality to the things they encounter and face. You may even resonate with their dreams and goals, providing you with inspiration and ideas on how to take action.

5 The connection is almost parasocial.

Liking a fictional character is almost like how a fan has a parasocial relationship with their celebrity crush. The only difference is that the celebrity is a real person, and the fictional character is non-existent in this reality. And yet, the emotions surrounding it is real. The kilig when they do something cute, the playful annoyance when they’re being a tease, and even sadness if they mess up, you feel it all. And bestie, being delulu (to a certain degree) is nothing to be ashamed of here.

6 Your attachment style may play a role here.

If you have an anxious attachment style, forming a close connection with a fictional character out of comfort may be easy. In a world where rejection and neglect are evident, they don’t want to fall into that trap so clinging onto a fictional character can keep them at bay.

If you’re highly sensitive, your emotions run much deeper than most people. Hence, finding solace in a fictional character can extend beyond the surface and find it more fulfilling than other relationships.

Misconceptions of Being Fictosexual

It’s easy to confuse and develop the wrong perception of fictosexuality. Let’s debunk the most common misconceptions down below.

1 Having a fictional crush automatically makes me fictosexual.

It’s not a good idea to generalize things quickly. When you have a crush, it’s fleeting and short-lived. Your reasons behind liking them can be surface-level, like their looks and appeal. By tomorrow or maybe next year, you will most likely move on from them. 

But with fictosexuality, they’re attracted to the comfort and security a fictional character brings, alongside resonating with them or finding their character symbolic to them. Thus, it encourages a stronger emotional connection and bond with them that surpasses any other person or character around them.

2 Being fictosexual is just a passing phase.

Fictosexuality is a valid orientation, not something that’ll pass like a daydream. It’s just as deep an attraction as the rest of them. Plus, this phrase of it being a phase is just as outdated as any orientation out of the heteronormative.

3 Someone who identifies as fictosexual doesn’t know fiction from reality.

Most of the time, fictosexual people are aware that the characters they like aren’t real. They aren’t confused or delusional with the apples of their attraction. The main purpose of fictosexuality is the emotional, romantic, or even sexual connection with fictional characters. It’s about using your imagination and creativity here.

Signs You May Be Fictosexual

Keep a close eye on the following signs that may suggest having this orientation through this section.

1 Your fictional attraction is more meaningful than real-life ones.

No matter how many people you’re surrounded with, your mind always goes back to the fictional character/s you like. Your feelings are a lot stronger, deeper, and more fulfilling, impacting your view on romance and sex even. They may even set the standards for you in real-world dating, but you tend to go back to them.

2 Real-life attraction may also be absent.

When you’re around people, there’s not much attraction going on if you’re looking for a potential partner. Let alone have and build a deep connection with them that goes beyond emotional and romantic. Yet with your favorite fictional characters, there’s always a spark, a never-ending flame of attraction towards them. In turn, you’d compare this desire with your lack of with real-life people. Therefore, you’d lean towards fictional characters more to fill that void in you.

3 Dating in real life just doesn’t do it for you.

While this statement is true of a lot of scenarios, it’s about how you tend to go back to your fictional character when it comes to romance. Based on their character traits, arc, and such, you just can’t find a replica or at least someone similar to them in real life. Of course, there’s no such thing as the same person, but it almost feels forced to date in real life just so you don’t get ostracized. In fact, it’s possible that you’re just “acting out” a role when you do date someone, but there’s no real connection there.

4 You fantasize about your favorite fictional character a lot more.

From potential dates, deep conversations, and even intimate moments, you’d picture having them with your favorite fictional characters more often than with other people. Even the idea of having a relationship in the real world isn’t as appealing or desirable to you vs. with your favorite fictional characters.

5 The fictionality of it makes everything more appealing.

Sure, they’re cute, sweet, and maybe a bit playful, but fictosexuality is more than that. As you’re aware that this character is all fiction, it also invites a world of emotional security, imagination, and full control. You feel a lot safer in such a place of unreality rather than the real world that’s loaded with uncertainty.

6 Having such fictional attraction may be linked to identity and sexuality.

As mentioned earlier, being fictosexual has links to asexuality and graysexuality. With that in mind, you may also identify with them, even more so when fictosexuality can coexist with them. Or perhaps, fictosexuality is your primary orientation. Though it is also possible to be mainly fictoromantic (romantic attraction towards fictional characters) or fictophilic (a broad term covering romantic and sexual attraction towards fictional things). 

Regardless, they’re all linked to identity, which is unique to every person, just like the journey they’re going to embark on.

Validating Being Fictosexual

It’s so easy to reject the existence of this label given how eccentric it can be. Like sure, having crushes on fictional characters is common and acceptable. But that’s because it’s fleeting and unserious most of the time. However, to be completely into a fictional character (or characters) in the same way you’d be into an actual person goes outside of the norm. And what do most people do when they see someone go outside of it?

They shame them, looking down on their taste in romance and emotional connection. They may even shun them down or fool them into thinking that it’s a phase. Huh,  that phrase that sounds familiar. And then again, it’s not true.

It’s not like a pair of trendy pants that you believe will be with you for life. This label is a part of you, and no one should try to look the other way. Their lack of understanding on the matter is not a reflection of who you are as a person. It’s a reflection that they aren’t as open-minded to accepting new beliefs and who you truly are.

And with that, being fictosexual is real and valid. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, it’s okay to have such deep connections towards fictional characters.

Tips on Navigating Fictosexuality

Learn how to align yourself with this novel identity of yours here.

1 Own your identity.

Only you know yourself well. Thus, the only validation you’ll ever need is yours, even if life challenges you otherwise. So if you’re sure that you’re fictosexual, that’s it. Identifying yourself as one is real and authentic enough. There’s no need to explain yourself to others (unless they ask), or prove your worth because you are good enough as you are. Your worth never even changed when you identified as fictosexual. Instead, you grew stronger and discovered a new aspect of yourself, which only uplifts you!

2 Set boundaries.

If someone tries to mock or bring you down regarding being fictosexual, you can choose to either fend yourself or disengage to protect your peace. Again, you don’t need to explain yourself nor ask for people to accept you. Because you already accept yourself, and that’s good enough.

But then again, remember that you shouldn’t let anyone step all over you. Thus, setting boundaries can protect you from harm’s way. Aside from disengaging from a disrespectful person, blocking people who are rude about your orientation online, sharing this aspect of yourself with certain people, and not overexplaining yourself are examples of boundaries here.

3 Curate safe spaces.

In a world filled with people who aren’t as accepting and open-minded, being surrounded by supportive people keeps you intact and safe. For instance, seeking online communities wherein you can express who you are entirely is one example. You can browse through Facebook, Reddit, X, and even Discord for communities catered to fictosexuals, wherein you can talk about your feelings and ask for vital advice as you venture through this novel aspect of you.

Tips on Being an Ally

Being a supportive ally for someone who identifies as fictosexual is beneficial to their growth, alongside providing open-mindedness on both end. Further support your pal through this vital tips down below.

1 Respect them.

Being fictosexual is valid and real. It’s not something that’ll pass over time, like it’s a phase of their life that’s unserious. Nope, that’s not how you show acceptance towards them. Just like any orientation or identity out there, respect fictosexuality just the same way. 

Try not to make it about you without words like “weird” or “unheard of”. While you grasp understanding this orientation, listen to them as they open up another part of themselves that most people would choose to hide. More than ever, your support is encouraged.

2 Be on their side without questioning.

Regardless of how much you understand this orientation, be there for your fictosexual pal. The fact they shared that they’re fictosexual means that they trust you with something vital and close to the heart. There’s no need to fully dissect and break down their emotions at the moment — simply offer them kindness and support. Even offering gratitude towards them, like “Thank you for sharing this with me,” goes a long way toward their journey of self-discovery.

3 Watch your language around them.

As they share this new part of their identity, certain words or phrases may harm them if you aren’t mindful enough. Beforehand, ask them about what terms or words they’re comfortable with and follow their lead as you note them down. 

Moreover, be more cautious with the jokes you say to them. Phrases like “head over heels with cartoons” or “being too in deep with fictional characters” could hurt them and invalidate who they are. Try being in their shoes and refrain from saying words you wouldn’t want to hear from anyone else about this identity.

Takeaway

Identifying as fictosexual is real, valid and deeply personal. Regardless of what society has to say about it, having a strong attraction towards fictional characters is just as powerful as being attracted to real-life people (or whatever one defines as real life). It also goes beyond fleeting crushes on fictional characters, as said characters can offer a deep emotional connection and comfort to the person. Navigating this identity means fully owning this part of you, setting the right boundaries, and surrounding yourself with the right people and communities.

If you identify as fictosexual, do know that you are seen and understood by us here at Lauvette. We wish you a safe, fun, and insightful self-discovery journey.

For more personal or culture-related guides such as this one, head on over to the Lauvblog here.