When opening yourself to new erotic possibilities, you’ve probably stumbled the word “Kink” in your research. You’ve probably known its meaning or probably even associated it with terms such as fetish, sexual fantasy, deviant fantasy, sexual quirks, and sex style.
But if you’re still unsure what kink means as well the activities that fall under this term, we’re here to help you out. For today’s guide, we will be talking about kink and its examples. We’re also going to share some tips on how to safely explore your kinks.
What is a Kink?
In human sexuality, kink is a generic term for non-traditional sexual practices. For example, spanking someone with a leather paddle isn’t sexual, when seen in traditional lenses. However, for some people, this activity can be highly erotic.
Difference Between Kink and Fetish
One of the things we’ve noticed from sex blogs and other resources is that they use the terms “kink” and “fetish” interchangeably. Now, we would like to clarify that these two terms aren’t synonymous with each other.
Kinks are non-traditional sexual activities, while Fetish is the sexualization of objects and scenarios that are supposed to be non-sexual. When you’re indulging in a kink, you’re doing an activity that’s highly erotic for you (and your partner). When indulging in a fetish, you’re using an object or scenario to get turned on.
For example, spanking someone with a leather paddle is a kink. Touching a leather paddle while masturbating and seeing it as something sexual is a fetish.
Another difference is the dependency of people on their kinks and fetishes. Though kinks are fun, people can necessarily have great sexual experiences without it. They’re just there to spice things up. As for fetishes, some people are highly dependent on it. Some people rely on their fetishes just to get turned on.
Examples of Kinks & Sexual Fantasies
As you’ve learned about what kink is and its difference from fetishes, let’s now move on to the list of common kinks in the sexverse. Read away!
Under the BDSM umbrella, this activity involves having a power exchange relationship on a full-time basis. The difference between 24/7 from the typical BDSM play is that on a BDSM play, you’re just gonna have the power play for a few hours, then after the play, you’ll be back to your non-kinky selves. As for 24/7, you’re merging your BDSM roles in your lifestyle. Couples that are indulging in this kink are usually living together, consistently playing their roles.
Under the roleplaying kink, age play is a type of role-playing in which one or more partners behave in a playful and child-like manner.
We get what you’re thinking right now– you’re probably thinking that this is linked to pedophilia. Well, age play is not pedophilia. Age play is done by legal, consenting adults. It can be as simple as calling someone “daddy” during the deed, or as complex as having a play party scene in the bedroom. Now, if you’re still uncomfortable with the idea of acting your inner child during sex, we fully get you. Kinks are non-traditional activities and, normally, you wouldn’t prefer some of the kinks listed here.
Bondage play falls under the BDSM umbrella. For this kink, it involves tying someone up during sex. You can use bed restraints, handcuffs, scarves, or ropes for this. You can also incorporate other BDSM kinks under this activity, such as impact play or sensation play. Now, if you’re interested in trying this one out, it’s important to establish boundaries and a safe word. Don’t forget to discuss that with your partner before indulging in this act.
You’ve probably heard “Choke Me Daddy” at some point in social media. Well, it’s not just a meme as some people do found choking highly erotic. Breath Play is a kink wherein you or your partner intentionally cuts off your air supply during the deed. This can be done through suffocating with objects, choking, etc.
Also known as Erotic Asphyxiation, this activity can be hella arousing for some, but it comes with dangerous risks. If you don’t take proper precautions, it can lead to cardiac arrest, brain damage, or death. So make sure to not take this casually and plan everything out before trying this kink.
As the name suggests, this kink involves having intercourse while fully clothed. Usually, the undies are only the ones taken off during the deed. Some people also spice this kink with sexy costumes, letting themselves and their partners fulfill a sexual fantasy.
Also known as CNC, this is one of the most debated kinks under the BDSM umbrella. For consensual non-consent, the submissive will act as if there’s no consent given to the dominant. During the deed, the sub may beg the person to stop, cry, refrain from the dom’s instructions. But despite the sub showing that they don’t like what’s happening, the dom continues on with the deed.
And we know what you’re thinking… but no, this is entirely different than rape. When dealing with this kink, the two parties have consented to do the activities. Boundaries and a safe word are also established before the play. Some couples even draft a “BDSM Contract” just for this.
The bottom line is, the two parties have consented to the activities that will be done during the deed. Even if the sub begs for the dom to stop, it’s all part of an act and what makes the deed more enjoyable for them. This type of kink is one of deep trust, not abuse.
Cuckolding was considered a guy’s thing before. But in modern times, this kink is no longer tied to a specific gender or sexuality.
For this kink, the person gets aroused when their partner is having sex with someone else. Some individuals may prefer watching their partners getting it on with someone while there are cases that person would rather listen to their partner just talking about it.
The “D” in BDSM. For this kink, the dominant derives pleasure from taking control. They enjoy taking over their submissive’s pleasure and other aspects of their sub’s life. And if things don’t get on their way, or their sub starts become bratty, you’ll expect some sultry punishment from them.
Now, take note that the dominant-submissive relationship isn’t abuse. All of the activities are communicated before the play, and both the dominant and the submissive consent to those activities. Boundaries, desires, and a safeword is also laid out to ensure that both parties are safe and having fun with the play.
This kink involves getting two (or more) of your body parts getting penetrated. For example, vaginal and anal penetration, or anal and oral penetration. This can be done either with your a couple partners or with the use of sex toys such as vibrators and dildos.
This is also known as electrosex or electric play. As the name suggests, this kink involves applying some mild electrical currents to some parts of the body for sexual purposes. The electrical currents are usually applied to the person’s genitals and their other erogenous zones. According to numerous resources, electrifying stimulation can increase the intensity of an orgasm. Some people can even cum just with electrostimulation alone.
Also known as humiliation play, this kink involves getting humiliated verbally, physically, or sexually. It can be as simple as getting called belittling names and as complex getting forced fed, forced penetrated, and the like.
Now, keep in mind that this activity is consensual between two parties. It’s also important for two parties to settle their preferences, boundaries, and safe words/signals. This is to ensure that the degrading activities align with what both parties like, as well as their safety.
If you thrive off of other people’s attention, you might find this one interesting. Exhibitionism is a kink where the person finds being naked and sexual in front of people highly arousing.
Now, there’s a dark side to exhibitionism which in some people have a compulsion to display their genitals in public– this is not the kind of exhibitionism that anyone should be doing. Another example is sending unsolicited nudes to strangers– this is a big nope! It’s illegal and can leave disturbing effects on the people involved.
When doing this kink, you must get the consent of the person on the receiving end of your “exhibit”. It’s also important to establish boundaries with your partner. Here are some exhibitionism practices that you can try:
- Recording yourself masturbating and sharing it with your partner.
- Sending some sexy selfies to your partner.
- Have sexual activities against a window, in your terrace, etc.
- Asking a third person to watch you have sex or masturbate.
- Joining a sex club where watching is encouraged.
Food play is a kink that uses food as part of foreplay. Couples who are into this practice usually use sticky foods and fruits. They spread it all over their sensitive zones, and watch in delight as their partners lick it off their bodies. Now, preparation is the key for this activity– this hot experience can turn into a hot mess real quick if done with minimal planning.
As the name suggests, group sex is a kink wherein you’re doing the deed with more than one person. It can be a threesome, a foursome, or even an orgy– this all depends on your preference. You can also incorporate other kinks on this one, such as bondage play and roleplaying.
Impact play is a kink where you get sexual pleasure by getting spanked or spanking someone. You or your partner can use their hands or use sex toys such as paddles, whips, and floggers.
Now, this might sound intimidating, but impact play doesn’t have to be super painful. If you’re interested in trying this kink and want to be on the receiving end, make sure to communicate with your partner on how intense the slapping you would like. Don’t also forget to learn about the safe zones for spanking and the spots that your partner should avoid.
Also known as breeding, this kink involves going for unprotected sex and getting aroused by the idea of getting pregnant because of it. Couples that are into the impregnation kink often engage in creampie and some even go to the extreme– keeping the cum in until the next round.
Now, there’s still an ongoing discussion as to what is the true appeal of this activity– some people say that they like getting their partners pregnant while some don’t actually want to get pregnant but likes the “thrill” of unprotected sex.
Under the BDSM umbrella, people who are into this kink derive pleasure from getting dominated. They enjoy subjecting themselves to physical pain and humiliation.
Also known as sexual submission, submissives usually use this kink as a temporary escape from stress or the burden of responsibility. Power play can also evoke feelings of vulnerability, which the sub may consider as a proxy for intimacy.
Under the roleplaying kink, medical play involves acting out as a medical professional or a patient. They will then do the deed acting out the roles mentioned, even including some medical equipment as props. The patient is often restrained and gagged in the scenario, but the roles can also be reversed. It all lies down to the couples’ preferences.
Orgasm control is a kink wherein the person derives arousal from controlling their own or their partner’s orgasm. When doing this kink, the dominant can engage various activities to make the submissive reach peak but stopping right at the moment where they’re about to cum. It can also be the opposite, wherein the dominant forces their sub to orgasm.
According to numerous sources, orgasm control prolongs the experience of powerful sexual sensations, increasing the intensity of the orgasm to the recipient.
One of the popular kinks, Pet Play is a sexual practice wherein a person or a couple acts out like animals. They would wear animalistic costumes and act like an animal during sex. Some would also act out in certain scenarios, where they would crawl in all fours, mimic animal sounds, eat like a pet, and would even get themselves collared.
Also known as Sexual Roleplay, Role Playing is considered one of the most popular kinks right now. With this sexual practice, the couples will act out their wildest fantasies– complete with costumes and props. Same with the other kinks on this list, you can incorporate other sexual plays on this one, such as bondage play, erotic humiliation, and group sex.
Sensation Play is a form of kink where an individual derives pleasure from activities that heighten the senses. There are different kinds of sensation play, but the most common kinds are blindfolding, tickling, impact play, and wax play. Same with the other kinky practices on the list, you can incorporate other kinks on this one, particularly activities under the BDSM kink.
If you’re thinking swinging involves sex swings, well, you got it all wrong. Swinging refers to the swapping of partners for sex.
If you’re interested in trying this one, we highly suggest having a thorough conversation with your partner about it. You need to agree on the coverage of the swap. Do you prefer “Soft Swap” where you just kiss, cuddle, and have oral sex? Or do you want the “Full-Swap” where you and your partner do it all the way? You also need to check the couple you’re planning to swap with and ensure that they’re safe to play with. You can also consider having a unicorn– an individual that would be willingly having sex with both of you separately.
Also known as piss play, urophilia is a kink where you play with urine for sexual pleasure. You or your partner will either get showered with it (golden showers) or in some cases, drink it. Now, as for the reason why people enjoy it, some people have shared that they just enjoy the warm and wet sensation of pee. Some submissives who like humiliation play also like piss play just because of the “degrading” feeling of being pissed on.
Voyeurism is a kink wherein people derive pleasure from watching people undress or engage in sexual activity. Now, we’re not talking about voyeurism disorder, in which a person has a compulsive tendency to watch someone naked without consent. We only promote consensual kinks, and there’s a way to indulge in voyeurism without being creepy.
Now, if you want to be peeping someone while they shower or masturbate, make sure that your partner has given consent on it. It’s also important to communicate what you will do throughout the play. Now, if done in this way, voyeurism can be a fun kinky activity for you and your boo. You can also take a different approach and look for exhibitionist couples. Some of these couples would agree to be watched upon either in person or online.
How to Explore Your Kinks Safely
Now that you’ve learned about kink and its examples, you’re probably pumped to try some of the kinks that we’ve listed. But before you start buying out the kinky sex toys and costumes, make sure to learn how to explore your kinks safely. Here are some starter tips for ya!
1Assess if your kink is actually safe.
Let’s be real, some kinks (such as breath play) are dangerous for you and your partner. Assess if trying these risky plays are worth it and if there are alternatives that will help you get the same pleasure, with fewer risks.
2Find a partner you can fully trust.
Kinks should be done with some you have deep trust with. When indulging in a kink, you’re opening yourself in probably the most intimate way possible. Some of the kinks are also associated with risky and painful acts, so it’s essential to do this with someone that wouldn’t abuse or break the rules.
3Consent is mandatory.
We cannot stress this enough. Whether you’re going for something kinky or vanilla, it’s important to get your partner’s enthusiastic consent. “I’ll think about it” is not consent. Silence is not consent. Pressuring them to say yes is not consent. Kinky plays should be done with two willing adults.
4Plan your sexual plays.
When playing out these sexual fantasies, it’s best to discuss it thoroughly with your partner beforehand. Learn about the kink together and prepare all the needed costumes and props. By planning everything out, there will be fewer mistakes throughout the deed.
5Laugh off the awkward mistakes.
Now, it’s normal to have some awkward moments when trying a kink for the first time. If there are some minor mistakes during your kinky play, just laugh it off– at least now you know what not to do. Now, if serious mistakes have been made, we suggest taking a break or stopping the play completely.
6Don’t forget aftercare.
After indulging in the kink, make sure to spend enough time to take care of your partner, especially if they are on the receiving end of the play. Now, aftercare comes in various forms. Some people prefer warm baths, while some only look forward to cuddles. Some people also wanted to be left alone after the play. That’s why before going through the kinky play, make sure to discuss each other’s preferred aftercare too.
We all have sexual fantasies that we wanted to fulfill. You shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to try something unconventional. As long as all the parties involved in your kink have given consent, you’ll do fine.
So go ahead, experiment! Try out those sex plays that you’ve been seeing in erotic movies. Try that sex toy that you’ve been checking on insta. Indulge in non-vanilla practices. Open yourself to new sexcapades and experience pleasure like never before. Have a kinktastic time!