When it comes to teasing, there’s no better practice other than edging.
From the term itself, it’s a methodological technique that involves bringing yourself or your partner very close to orgasm—stopping—then jumping right back to driving yourself or your partner on the brink of orgasm. Press the repeat button on this one as many times as you like. Think of yourself as a soldier who’s at war and using that tried and tested attack-and-retreat strategy to bring down the enemy’s walls.
It can sound frustrating, we know. But it’s that frustration that actually makes the sex, not just twice, but probably ten times even better.
If you’re curious about what edging has to offer, here are 10 reasons why you should incorporate edging to your bedroom activities. But first, here’s a quick refresher about edging and its kinds of techniques.
What is Edging?
Edging, also known as orgasm control, is a sexual technique that involves delaying orgasm while maintaining a high level of arousal. With this method, you’re going to stop the sexual stimulation once you’re close to climaxing. You then wait for a few minutes, then start fapping or having sex all over again.
Some are able to withhold their orgasms for at least 2-4 times before cumming, but it’s possible to even increase that number once you’ve mastered it.
Edging Techniques You Should Try
In terms of technique, there are several ways to get yourself on the edge. If you’re a newbie to this practice or someone that had tried but failed to achieve edging, you might want to consider these methods:
For this technique, you’re basically going to pause once you feel like orgasming. Your hands and toys are off your genitals—you’re just lying there and waiting for the orgasmic sensations to subside.
For this one, you will stop stimulating your genitals and simply move your hands or sex toys to the other parts of your body. You will also distract yourself mentally and remove any sexual thoughts temporarily.
It’s like the patterned version of the distraction method. For this one, you will switch back and forth when stimulating your genitals. Once you feel like cumming, you will move your fingers to your majora labia, then move it back to your clit/vag, then move it back to the labia. Keep on doing this until you’re ready to climax.
Tantric sex incorporates edging because it’s about being intentional and slow into the movement of energy between partners’ bodies. This is done to enhance the sexual experience. To try the tantric method, inhale slowly as you’re about to orgasm. While inhaling, try to visualize slowly pulling the orgasmic energy from your vagina or penis upward toward your head. It can sometimes help to have your partner graze their fingers from your genitals up along the front of your body. Then go back to providing that direct stimulation, repeating this process again and again. In tantra, this is believed to help you experience a full-body orgasm.
This type of edging incorporates Kegel exercises. Its purpose is to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles as well. You still stop right before reaching orgasm but, as you slow or stop stimulation, perform Kegels. The technique is called ballooning, as people with a penis will find their erection deflating and growing during this process.
Benefits of Edging
Now that you’ve learned about edging and its techniques, you’re probably thinking as to why you should incorporate this in your sex life. Well, you might not realize it yet, but edging has tons of benefits for you and your partner. It’s not just some extra fluff for your orgasms—it also helps you attain sexual mindfulness, better climaxes, and a deeper level of intimacy.
1You get to experience better and longer orgasms!
Edging increases your excitement, making your orgasm more intense than usual. There’s also the aspect of delayed gratification that makes the climax so much pleasurable.
Just think of those times when you were feeling so frisky, you just wanted to get off, but for whatever reasons (maybe your parents were in the next room and you had paper-thin walls, yikes), you just couldn’t. So you held off your orgasm and waited. When you finally have some alone time, you get back to business and find that O again. But you hear voices coming so you stop, only to start all over again. And once you finally hit that orgasm and reach climax, you’re in total bliss after frustratingly being held back twice.
Now when you edge, imagine being held back many times over. You can, of course, expect mounting frustration. But no worries, your hard work isn’t for naught. The oh-so-hot-damn intense orgasms you find at the end is totally worth going through the experience again.
2You’ll be able to make love longer than usual.
Some people can sleep like a baby once they already came, leaving their partners unsatisfied and having to finish themselves off under the sheets. Don’t be that person. Only someone cold and heartless pull stunts like that. And besides, unfulfilled sex life can make for a miserable relationship.
That’s why if you already have issues in the bedroom such as having weak sexual stamina, we suggest looking for ways to improve it, such edging. By practicing edging, you’ll get to have better control of your orgasms and even increase your sexual stamina. This means you can prolong the fun and make sure that you and your partner get the climax you both deserve.
3It can make your schlong get longer.
This one goes to all the dudes out there. Check this out. Edging has been found to be able to increase your penis size. As the old saying goes, there’s always room for growth, especially in your pants.
Since edging keeps you hard for extended periods, you get to stretch out your tissues. The improved blood circulation also aids in healing microtears which essentially helps promote growth, both in length and girth. There’s no doubt about it. Edging is sort of like a workout for your favorite muscle—the penis.
4It prevents you from premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation is fixable. There’s no need for you to stay that way forever.
Edging can save you from having another embarrassing moment in bed. Your penis is a muscle, and just like any other muscles, you can train it to build strength. You, my man, are a ninja in training, learning the not so hidden arts of edging. You can prepare yourself mentally and physically for those passionate nights of lovemaking. The more you practice edging, the better you become at gaining control over your ejaculations.
5It can help you with erectile dysfunction.
It’s a sad thing to think about. But don’t worry, erectile dysfunction, just like premature ejaculation, is just among the list of things edging can help you out with. Edging gives you long erections, allowing you to exercise the smooth muscles on your penis. You are also at your peak size when you edge. This can give you the confidence you need to battle out the psychological issues that are causing your erectile dysfunction.
6It increases self-awareness.
If you’re looking for a way to practice mindfulness during masturbation or sex, edging is one way to achieve that. By being able to tune into your own and your partner’s body, you’ll be able to figure out ways to satisfy yourself and your partner. Learning more about yourself through edging can give you more “data” and confidence in approaching your doctor or even indyour partner about any questions you have or issues you face in your sex life. This can translate into better health outcomes.
7It brings a deeper level of intimacy in the bedroom.
You may think you know everything about your partner just because you’ve been together for a long time. But that’s not always the case. There are still some sides to them just waiting to be discovered.
Edging can definitely let you see a new side of your partner. Social layers are thrown out of the window. You can witness a side of them where they’re in their most vulnerable or most dominating self, depending on which role your partner wants to assume. This level of intimacy lets you explore and discover each other’s kinks, bringing you closer together.
8It’s great for BDSM!
For all my doms out there, edging is for you. Edging is practiced by seasoned members of the BDSM community, but it is also perfect for those who are only finding out their dominant traits.
If you’re curious and interested in knowing whether you are going to enjoy the BDSM life, edging can give you that taste of dominance and power play that you are seeking for. You can have your partner begging for your mercy as they plead for you to let them reach orgasm.
9Get a delicious rush of feel-good hormones.
The fear, excitement, even the frustration, you experience in edging trigger your brain to release all sorts of hormones. There are norepinephrine, adrenaline, and endorphins. These are all great for fighting off depression and help you find relief from stress. Anticipation, fear, and frustration, can increase your pleasure. Which can in turn release a large amount of happy hormones serotonin and dopamine.
10It helps remove the emphasis of penetration for more holistic partnered sex.
A 2018 study of more than 1,000 women found that many (about 36.6 percent) can only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, while only 18 percent can reach orgasm through sexual intercourse alone. And these results show how vital it is to experiment with activities like edging that allow you to explore numerous ways to pleasure yourself.
Even if you’re one of the few who can come from penile/vaginal intercourse, learning to control when you want to orgasm can bring an extra bit of fun to the experience.
Edging Tips You Should Know
There are tons of tips and tricks you can use to enjoy the process of edging. And we will be detailing everything below.
1There are risks and health considerations you must know.
There are no proven risks or relevant health considerations for edging. Some people falsely believe edging is related to delayed ejaculation, in which someone with a penis struggles to have an orgasm or ejaculate, but the two are unrelated. Another fear people have is that edging conditions your body to delay orgasms, interfering with times you want to have an orgasm right away. This is another myth; the body adjusts to the individual time and pleasure it feels in any given sexual encounter.
2Practice with masturbation.
Edging can take some time to get used to as you figure out what techniques work best for your body. Masturbating on your own can give you the headspace required to have edging work for you. We suggest practicing edging for about 5 to 10 minutes every other day. The longer a person can delay having an orgasm, the stronger the physical sensations will be when climax is reached.
3Recognize that edging lasts differently for each person.
Each individual is different, so there is no correct length of time to perform edging before reaching orgasm. It’s about balance and control—knowing when to stop and also when to resume sexual play. If you are trying out edging with your partner, be mindful of your partner’s body language and verbal communication for levels of arousal and stimulation.
4You can always incorporate a toy.
For people with vulvas, our suggestion is to use a vibrator with powerful direct clit stimulation and an easy on/off button. And for those with cocks, you can use a mastubator or have a penis ring as you play with your partner. The ability to quickly turn off the toy right before you would orgasm is key when practicing edging.
By keeping the mind fully into the act of edging, a person will find it easier to slow down when they feel too close to climax. Being mindfully intentional during edging can greatly enhance the entire experience. So much of edging is being fully attuned to your body and what it needs to pleasurably delay climax.
Practicing edging during tantric yoni massage or tantric lingam massage, both of which involve intentional stimulation both physically and energetically. You can use that energy to your advantage while edging. During the cool-down periods, place your hand on the heart to help keep the body grounded, connected, and feeling loving energy. This will give you something to concentrate on when you’re waiting in between stimulation.
7Try gradual penetrative sex.
Penetration occurs during oral, anal, and vaginal sex. In whatever form you choose, bring yourself to the point of orgasm, then stop. When you’re ready, begin penetration again. Repeat the cycle until you want to orgasm. People who have a vagina can benefit from edging in much the same way as people who have a penis. You just have different techniques you can use. For example, you can ask your partner to stop thrusting as you near orgasm. Then, after a short break, they can begin thrusting again.
8Mix it up!
Engage in oral, anal, or vaginal sex until you’ve nearly reached orgasm. Then, stop or slow down. Change positions, or switch to erogenous stimulation from masturbation or with a partner. The differences in sensation and pressure may help you prolong your orgasm. You can keep changing methods, positions, or the level of pressure until you’re ready to climax. If you have a vagina, you may find it helpful to switch between vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation. The different pressure and sensation may help you prolong your eventual orgasm.
9Masturbate to the brink!
Manually stimulate yourself at a pace and pressure that will get you to climax. As you near the point of orgasm, slow down and ease the pressure. After a few seconds or minutes, return to the more intense pressure and speed. Bring yourself to the edge of climax again. You can repeat this cycle until you’re prepared to reach orgasm.
10Use a diversion.
As we discussed in the edging techniques, using a diversion as a method is a great way to try in edging. Right when you’re about to orgasm, stop the stimulation and pivot to a gentler form of touch elsewhere on the body. If you’re with a partner, they might stop stimulating your clitoris and move to simply caress your breasts or run their fingers along your thighs.
The beauty of edging is that you can do it all by yourself. If you did your training properly and finally reached the master level in the not so hidden arts of edging, you can literally give yourself the best and longest erections and orgasm so hard without anyone’s help. By practicing edging, you can also make your partner more satisfied than ever. So go ahead, take yourself, and your boo to more pleasurable sexcapades with edging.