Looking for ways to last longer in bed? Don’t worry, buddy, as we’re here to guide you.
Studies show that the average sex session is 5-7 minutes. However, other surveys and studies show that about 50% of guys last less than 2 minutes. Now, there shouldn’t be a standard time for a man to ejaculate, but if you cum too soon, you and your partner may feel there’s not enough time to enjoy it. After all, sex is one of the most important factors for couples—you want it to last as long as possible.
That’s why if you’re experiencing premature ejaculation– aka you’re ejaculating in less than a minute of penetrative sex– it’s best to deal with it instead of just shrugging it off. Not lasting longer in bed can trigger fights and insecurities. By denying the issue, you’re setting yourself and your partner to frustrating conflicts.
Before the worst happens, let me tell you, we’re here for you. We have tips and ways on how you can last longer in bed and satisfy your woman.
Reasons Why You Don’t Last Longer in Bed
Before going through the different tips to last longer in sex, let’s have a quick refresher about premature ejaculation. Though there are no specific reasons you’re not lasting longer in bed, studies show that some factors could be at play.
Emotional factors can affect everything that you do, and that includes sex. If you’re experiencing stress, depression, anxiety, relationship issues, poor body image, lack of confidence in sexual performance, or negative feels about sex (sexual repression), you’re most likely to ejaculate prematurely.
Biological factors may cause premature ejaculation. Having unusual hormone levels, high amounts of serotonin, inflammation in your prostate, infection in your urethra, and abnormal levels of neurotransmitters can affect how fast you ejaculate. Genetics can play a role in this too.
20 Tips to Help You Last Longer in Bed
As you’ve learned about the possible reasons why you’re ejaculating prematurely, let’s now delve into the various tips on how to last long in bed. Take note that these are not instant cures for premature ejaculation but a way to deal with your condition and help you please your woman in a fun and safe way.
1Start with Kegels.
If you think Kegels or Kegel exercises are only for women, then you’re wrong. Kegel exercises are also for men. Since it’s about strengthening the pelvic muscles, it helps in controlling ejaculation.
Now to do Kegels, start by locating your pelvic muscles. While urinating, stop your flow midway. Feel that squeeze or contraction? That’s your pelvic muscles, technically doing Kegels. Once you’ve located your pelvic muscles, you can now start doing Kegel exercises. Sit or lie down on your bed. Slowly tighten and hold your pelvic muscles for about 5-10 seconds, then release. Do this in sets of 5 – 10, depending on your preference.
As for beginners, we suggest doing 5 sets of Kegels, 3 times a day. Once you’re used to it, you can then increase the sets. Remember, the key here is consistency. Make sure to do the sets every day if you want to get the benefits from this practice. Once you get the hang of controlling your pelvic muscles, you will control your ejaculation and last longer in bed.
2Mix up your masturbating habits.
Delaying your orgasm is one of the most effective ways to train yourself to last longer in bed. You bring yourself to the edge of orgasm and stop. Then, you start again and do the process again.
It’s very simple to do. You can use a timer or stopwatch since you’re a beginner. Set it to 10 or 20 minutes. Practicing this technique can help you teach your body and brain to control your orgasm and make sex last longer. Just be sure to use a lot of lotion or lube while practicing to avoid chafing.
3Recognize that sex doesn’t just mean penetration.
Each person has a different definition of what sex means to them. In this context specifically, it’s key to know that “sex” doesn’t strictly mean penis-in-vagina penetration. It can also include plenty of foreplay, massaging, kissing, dirty talk, and much more. Warming up will increase your odds of orgasm, and this way, you won’t be bothered by penetration that only lasts a few minutes.
4Schedule substantive, uninterrupted time for sex.
Carving out time between errands, work, or other obligations will make you feel rushed and may negatively impact the sensual experience. There’s nothing wrong with allotting time for sex on your calendar. Plus, sending your partner a sexy Gmail calendar invite for when you want to make raunchy love is super hot.
In general, the faster the man has sex, the quicker he ejaculates. Quick, hard thrusts result in a faster climax. A more measured and slower technique means the penis tip is less stimulated and ejaculation delayed; this also allows for greater control over ejaculation and assists in a more successful edging.
6Practice your breathing patterns.
When you notice that you’re breathing very fast, it means you’re about to reach climax. You’re very much aroused, and your load is about to blow. To help with this, reduce your sexual arousal by breathing in slowly. Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds, hold it in for 4 seconds, then breathe out for 4 seconds. Practicing your breathing patterns can help you relax and make you last longer in bed.
7Tap into lower levels of arousal.
Sometimes people with penises that struggle to last longer during sex are so highly aroused that they cannot avoid ejaculation from happening until it’s too late. To last longer during sex, try to learn how to hang out at lower levels of arousal for long periods, such as prolonging foreplay and exploring other erogenous zones to harness your arousal.
8Try some behavioral techniques.
Fortunately, several experts have been working on ways to help men deal with their ejaculation issues. Along with their research, some of them have established behavioral techniques that would help you last longer in bed. Here are some of the methods:
Semans’ stop-start’ technique involves learning to control the sensations before ejaculation. To do this, you need to bring yourself close to orgasm repeatedly, then stop as soon as you feel like cumming. While doing that, you need to assess the sensations that you feel when orgasming. By doing that, you’ll be able to control your ejaculation during sex as well as recognize your’ point of no return’.
Master’s technique includes you squeezing the end of your penis when you feel like cumming. By doing this method, you will have less urge to ejaculate.
9Masturbate before sex.
Aside from delaying your orgasm during masturbation, try masturbating one to two hours before sex. This will help delay your ejaculation and make you last longer in bed.
Going to the “main event” without masturbating is like going with a “fully-loaded gun.” As such, masturbate beforehand so that you can match her level and build up arousal again. If you have already finished before going at it again, you can get better at pace yourself and sync up with your partner’s rhythm. So masturbate before you celebrate. Pop it before you drop it in.
10Reduce penile sensation with sprays and creams.
If you think that your penis can be a little too sensitive, you might want to consider this approach. We suggest consulting your healthcare provider first. Once you’ve got the go-signal, look for over-the-counter o their prescribed local anesthetic sprays and creams. Apply it at least 30 minutes before intercourse or as instructed. Don’t forget to put a condom on.
11Wear a condom.
Speaking of condoms, did you know that wearing a condom can help you last longer in bed? As much as raw dick feels good, wearing a condom can help slow down your orgasm. Condoms won’t only protect you from unwanted pregnancy. It can dampen your sensitivity level and make you last longer in bed.
Take note, though, don’t believe in internet posts suggesting wearing two condoms. Doing this will damage condoms. Just buy an extra thick condom if you want to try it out. This is safer and will stop you from coming quickly.
12Spend time on foreplay.
If you want to last longer in bed, you shouldn’t skip this. Men can always come easily, but ladies are more complicated than that. The more foreplay you spend with her, the better.
Think of it as balancing your levels. You have to be at the same level as hers and sync in. If you stimulate her first, then she will be nearer and nearer to her climax. That means she will come close to your level of arousal. When she’s stimulated enough, then maybe you can both come at the same time. It’s also good if she comes first. That way, the sexual pressure will be off you, and you can cum in peace.
13Try out positions that will help you last longer.
Sex positions contribute to how fast or how slow you come. Certain sex positions make guys ejaculate faster because of their high level of depth and pleasure. With these sex positions, you can control your ejaculation and also relax more. You’re just going to let your partner take control of the pace of your sex.
Here are the sex positions we recommend you try:
Cowgirl helps you last longer during sex because your partner has nearly total control over the speed and depth of thrusting. To do this position, lie on your back. Let your partner mount, straddle and enter you at an upright position (like she’s riding a horse).
Sitting on the throne is much like the cowgirl position; this gives the woman more control without you having to thrust too quickly or deeply. Start by sitting on a chair with your partner standing with her back to you to perform this. Next, she can lower herself and have you enter her as she sits on your lap, facing away from you.
Spooning is a highly intimate position and doesn’t require a lot of physical exertion. It is when you and your partner are lying down, you’re both on your side and facing in the same direction, with one partner (the big spoon) tucked behind the other.
14Switch up the play.
Try something new every time you’re making love with your partner. Read about an interesting sex game or technique? Go for it. Have kinks and fetishes that you want to incorporate during the deed? Try discussing and trying it with your boo.
Introducing new sex positions, games, and techniques means you have to hit pause for a while before you continue your trip to the finish line. This pause, no matter how short, helps you in controlling your ejaculation.
15Try tantric sex.
Tantric sex is a spiritual, sexual practice that aims for a slow, thoughtful interaction that allows you to explore and relax rather than rush toward achieving an orgasm. From long sessions of foreplay to edging, tantric sex often lasts longer than traditional sexual intercourse.
Speaking of sex techniques, why don’t you try edging? It’s a practice wherein you or your partner withhold the orgasm. This is one of the most common techniques to avoid premature ejaculation. Again, you need to stop yourself when you know you’re about to come. Stop the sexual activity until you have your excitement under control.
This method is a classic, and couples do it all the time. Aside from helping control ejaculation, it also makes your orgasms more intense. Doing this regularly will enable you to last longer in bed and have better sex.
17Incorporate sex toys in your play.
You don’t have to use your dick all the time. It may surprise you, but most women don’t get off on penetration alone. Try using sex toys in your play. This way, you can stimulate your partner first and get her nearer to climax. Try using a cock ring. This helps you last longer in bed as cock rings work by restricting the blood flow into the shaft of the penis.
Aside from this, there are cock rings that vibrate, so you not only maintain a stronger erection but also stimulate your partner. Or maybe try this tip: if you feel like you’re about to come, tap out first and use a vibrator on her. Then when you think she’s also about to come, put your dick again and reach the finish line together.
18Switch up your location.
Doing something new creates a sense of excitement which can help your body stay grounded and prevent going on autopilot. So yes, this means it’s time to try going at it on your couch, your kitchen table, and even your shower.
19Be present and enjoy the sensual journey.
As we’ve mentioned above, psychological factors may come into play. You might not realize it, but you’re probably cumming too fast because you’re worrying about prematurely ejaculating. You’re thinking of the finish line too much that you’re reaching it within seconds.
If you feel like that case is all too similar, we suggest practicing mindfulness during sex. Focus on the present moment and don’t just think of orgasms all the time. By focusing on the things that truly matter, you’re probably going to last longer than expected.
20Consult a medical professional if necessary.
If you believe you’ve done everything in your power to last longer in bed and you’re still not getting the results you want, then you can consider talking to a medical professional next. There’s no need to be embarrassed about it. There might be a psychological or biological cause behind your premature ejaculation, and a medical expert will surely help you figure that out.
Premature ejaculation is a common problem, and you don’t have to feel embarrassed about it. The more important thing is to keep an open mind and be ready to try different things. Not all the tips here will work on you, and that’s okay. Your willingness and patience to keep trying are part of the solution. The more methods you practice, the more you will improve your sexual stamina to last longer in bed.