Pleasure isn’t all about reaching the orgasm. A fulfilling sexual experience should also involve a sensual and holistic connection between your mind and body. One of the best methods to achieve this connection is tantra or tantric sex.
We will showcase how you can engage in tantric sex, the benefits of this practice, some basic techniques, and other information you need to know.
What is Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex is a slow and sensual type of sex, wherein the goal is a connection of bodies and sexual energies. It’s said to prolong couples’ physical, sensual, psychological, and spiritual connection. It’s part of the ancient spiritual path known as “tantra,” a Sanskrit word that means “weave.”
As the original term implies, tantric sex is all about weaving and uniting the energy and sensuality of both lovers and uniting the masculine and feminine forces in it, resulting in a transcendent sexual experience.
Benefits of Tantric Sex
By reading the definition above, you’re probably wondering why people should be investing their sexy time in tantric sex. Below are some of the long-lasting benefits of this sensuous method.
1It leads to a holistic mind-body-spirit connection with you and your partner.
One of the common benefits of tantric sex is that it helps you understand your body and what it desires. As you unlock a deeper connection with your body and sexual energy, you’ll also learn how to transfer and express that sensual self to your partner more. This is why some couples with body image issues were often recommended with this sensual method, as it allows you to focus on the body and not just on sexual stimulation.
2It encourages mindfulness.
With the uncertainties of the world and distractions from the internet, it’s hard to focus nowadays. These stressors and distractions may affect your bedroom plays, making it difficult to have fulfilling sex. Some people were also experiencing body image issues, making them more conscious of their bodies instead of the activity.
If you have the dilemma above and it has affected your own and your partner’s pleasure, tantric sex can help you. It’ll release you from the world’s distractions and focus on the moment if done correctly.
3It helps you release sexual blocks and tension.
Sexual blocks are thoughts that stop you from being in the moment. For example, some people can’t fully enjoy sex because they’re focused on making their partner cum; they feel inadequate if the deed didn’t end up with their partner orgasming.
The goal of tantric sex is to eliminate these sexual blocks and concerns. As mentioned, this sexual practice doesn’t have the goal of climaxing but having a holistic connection with yourself and your lover. Without the blocks, you can immerse yourself in the experience and express your sensuality.
4It awakens your sexual energy to flow freely within your body.
Another benefit of tantric sex is that it evokes your sexual energy. Discovering your body and deepest desires allows you to channel your full sensuality. As a result, the sexperience you’ll have with your partner isn’t just going to be “hot and raunchy.” It becomes something that’ll soothe your sensual soul.
5It often extends lovemaking sessions and relaxation.
If you want to prolong your sexy sessions, this sexual practice can help you. As discussed in the beginning, tantric sex is slow, sensual, and spiritual. It doesn’t focus on sexual stimulation that’ll make you and your partner orgasm, but rather a freeing exploration of each other’s bodies. It involves long foreplay and even edging (multiple rounds of sexual stimulation while holding off orgasm for enhanced pleasure.)
How to Engage in Tantric Sex
After reading the benefits of tantric sex, you might be interested in giving this sexual practice a try. We’re here to help. Below are some steps and tips to help you achieve a holistic tantra experience.
1Prepare your space and mind.
The first step in tantric sex is preparing the space. Remember that your space can impact your ability to be mindful of the activity. With that being said, here are some of the things that you can do to make your room more sensually inviting.
- Add more pillows and plush cushions. This “softens” the space and makes it more relaxing.
- Set up your room at a comfortable temperature. Make sure that the temp is balanced. For instance, if your room is chilly, turn on the heater or turn off the air conditioner an hour before starting the sensual activities. If the space is too hot, turn on the air conditioner an hour before the deed, but don’t put it on the highest setting to avoid making the room chilly.
- Use scented candles and tinted fairy lights, preferably ones that emit a red glow. Remember that lighting and scent is also essential element in setting the mood. If you’re not interested in putting up candles for safety reasons, you can also use room sprays or humidifiers to keep a relaxing scent in your space.
- Put relaxing or sensual music on. You don’t need a fancy speaker setup for this; playing from your phone would do. This creates a romantic and sensual ambiance in the room.
- Give your body the pre-sex pampering it deserves. Do whatever you make feel sexy— take an hour of bubble bath, wear your favorite lingerie, and more.
2Heighten your senses through synchronized breathwork.
Another vital step to do when having tantric sex is learning breathing techniques. You can use these methods before and during the deed. It allows you to get in the moment and feel every sensation in your body. Below are some beginner-friendly breathing techniques.
Stimulating Breath Technique
This method is designed to increase your awareness of your body and your space. Start with closing your eyes and softening (relaxing) your belly. Quickly inhale and exhale through your nose; just keep your mouth closed for this step.
Go for three quick breathing cycles per second and do this for 15 seconds. After 15 seconds, stop the quick breathing and breathe normally. After 15 seconds, do the three breathing cycles per second again, but do it for 20 seconds. Then after 20 seconds, return to your normal breathing for 20 seconds, then start another cycle, but this time for 25 seconds. Keep doing it until you reach 1 minute.
Ocean Breath Technique
For this breathing method, start by relaxing your jaw and allowing it to drop naturally. After that, breathe in and out through your mouth. Allow your chest to expand as you inhale, and let it relax after exhaling.
As you do this breathing technique, visualize your breath running through your body and back on the way out. This technique aims to build a cyclical wave of energy, which can also help you channel out your sensual energy.
Counting Breath Technique
This method aims to help you clear your mind and focus. Start by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths; allow the breath to flow naturally. Once you’re done with the deep breaths, proceed on the counting breath.
Inhale, then count “one” to yourself as you exhale. Inhale, count up to “two,” then exhale. Keep making the same pattern until you reach counting up to “five.” After that, repeat the cycle and go back to counting up to “one.” Don’t go past “five” when counting, as your mind has the tendency to wander. We recommend doing this breathing technique for 10 minutes.
3Build the moment with tantric massage and eye-gazing.
After prepping your space, body, and mind, you can proceed to the fun part. Start the tantric sex with sensually long foreplay. It’s better to discuss activity beforehand; you can go for a warm bubble bath, sensual massages, steamy makeout, long oral plays— go for whatever your own and your lover’s sultry mind desires. Just make sure that while doing this foreplay activity, look into each other’s eyes as much as possible. Try to synchronize your breathing too.
We also recommend trying a tantric massage for the foreplay. For this type of massage, one would be lying at their back, while the one would be the masseur/masseuse. The difference between this and regular massages is that you would be keeping soft gazes on one another throughout the massage. You can also try yoni (massage in the vulva) or lingam (massage on the penis).
4Immerse yourself fully in the experience.
Whether you’re doing foreplay or penetrative sex, the key to a pleasurable tantric experience is fully immersing yourself in the deed. Also, you don’t have to go for oral, vaginal, or anal sex if you don’t want to. Tantra’s goal is to channel your sexual energy and connect you to your body and partner. So if you’ve been feeling sensuous with massages, then no need to force yourself on other acts. The only rule here is to be in the moment and go with the flow.
5Go as far as you are comfortable.
As mentioned above, tantric sex doesn’t have to end in orgasm. If you’re already done with the process and want to end the session without it, you can do so. What matters is you’re satisfied, and you’ve connected with your sensual self and your partner.
If you really want the session to culminate in a climax, you can still allot time for sexual stimulation. But instead of rushing, keep things slow. Let the sensual build-up grow as you both reach the big O.
Tantric Sex Techniques
Planning to have tantra with your partner? Here are some of the best techniques and positions that you should try on your first or next tantric sex session. We also recommend not sticking with a single method— mix and match them up!
This sensual position works well with tantra as it allows you to be intimately close with your partner. You’ll also get to have a lot of soft eye gazes with this one. It’s also easy to synchronize your breathing with this position.
To do the yab yum, the giver (the one who’ll be penetrating) will sit down, legs crossed. The receiver will sit on the giver’s lap, their legs straddling on their partner. Once positioned, the giver can gently insert their penis in the vagina and move in a rocking motion.
2Hand on Heart
This is a great starting position before proceeding with foreplay or penetrative sex. It also works if you want to practice synchronized breathing and establish a connection with your lover.
To do this, you must sit cross-legged, facing each other. After that, place your right hand on their chest, while they’ll place their right hand on yours. You must close your eyes and be in tune with each other’s hearts. Feel their heart’s rhythm and their breathing. We suggest that both of you try a breathing method to sync your breathing. Keep doing this until you’ve established that deep and sensually romantic connection.
Another great tantra activity to try is tantric kissing. This is pretty similar to a regular makeout session, but instead of just enjoying the pleasurable sensations on your lips, you’ll also take time to feel their breathing. Heighten every touch, gasp, nibble— savor every moment.
4Sacred Spot Massage
This tantric technique is pretty similar to vaginal or anal fingering. Apply a generous amount of lube in your finger(s), gently insert them in your partner’s vagina/anus, then the g-spot (vagina) or prostate gland (anus). The difference is in the execution; keep the massage slow and steady. Again, the focus of tantric sex is to get sensually connected and not climax.
Here’s another tantric sex position on the list. For this one, the giver must sit upright with their legs straight. Then, the receiver will be on their knees while sitting on the giver’s lap. Once positioned, the receiver should slowly arch their back until the head reaches the partner’s legs. After that, the receiver should then grab their partner’s ankles or feet.
6The Splitting of the Bamboo
For this sex position, the giver would be on their knees, facing the receiver lying on their back. The receiver would then raise one of their legs, placing it in the giver’s shoulder. Once positioned, the giver can then start slowly penetrating their partner’s body. This position works best for tantra as it allows the couple to gaze into each other’s eyes.
Want to prolong your Os? Orgasm control, commonly known as edging, would work best for you. To do this, you and your partner would bring each other to the edge of an orgasm. But once you feel it’s coming, you’ll have to stop any sexual stimulation. Keep building the anticipation until you reach an intense and full-body climax.
In tantric sex, oral sex is called “oral love.” This is because tantra experts believe that performing oral is a way to honor your lover’s body.
If you want to incorporate cunnilingus in your tantra sesh, just do what you would regularly do when eating someone out. Instead of just going through the motions, savor every lick and practice breathing techniques while doing it. We also recommend giving soft gazes to your partner throughout the deed. There may be awkwardness at first, but keep doing it until it becomes second nature to you.
This tantric sex position works best for couples who love doing “on-top” sex positions. For this one, the giver will lie back on the bed, lifting their legs and back; this is pretty similar to the bridge yoga pose. After that, the receiver would sit right on their groin, and then they can proceed on the deed.
Another on-top position that would work for tantra is the Goddess Pose. The giver would lie on their back, while the receiver would sit right on their crotch. The only difference here is there’s more eye gazing involved and that you’re both doing the same breathing method to be in sync.
This is the distanced version of the Yab Yum. For this tantric sex position, the lovers’ legs would be intertwined, holding each other’s ankles for stability. This position allows you to view your partner’s body fully, more soft gazing, better sync breathing, and deeper intimacy.
This tantric sex position is similar to the “V-pose.” The receiver would lie down on their back, legs wide open. The giver would be on their knees and directs themselves inside the receiver. What’s great about this position is it works for deep vaginal penetration, more access to the vulva, a full-body view of one another, and more eye contact.
This is a tantric version of the spooning position. The difference between the tiger and regular spooning is that there’s more space between each other’s backs. This is great for couples who don’t want to do complicated or more tiring positions. Slow and deep thrusts are perfect for this position, too.
This is similar to the doggy style position, but there’s more skinship. For this one, the receiver would lie down their stomach, pillow on their crotch area to raise their hips. The giver would then lie on their stomach, right on top of the receiver. The giver’s forearms should be resting on the bed to slightly prop themselves up. Once positioned, the giver can gently insert their penis on the receiver’s anus or vagina. Their legs should be intertwined with one another.
For this tantric sex position, the woman would lie on their stomach, opening their leg wide. The giver would go on top of the receiver, their legs in the middle of their legs. The receiver would then lift her hips to give their partner full access to the anal and vaginal region. This is similar to the previous position, but the legs aren’t intertwined with one another.
Tantric Sex Essentials
As you’ve learned the ways and tricks to engage in tantra, you’re probably excited to try it out on your next sexcapade. And here we have a list of essentials for your tantra session.
Frequently Asked Questions
You’re now geared up with the knowledge and items for tantric sex! But we get that you may still have more questions. We have that covered for you too as we list some of the common tantra questions below.
1How long should tantric sex last?
One of the common concerns that couples have about tantric sex is the duration. Some peeps are discouraged from trying this out because it’s “too long,” and they’re leading busy lives. Others are worried that they can’t really fully go for this practice as they’re quick to cum.
Remember that the goal of tantra is to get connected with your body, your inner desires, and your partner. It’s okay if you end up cumming in the middle of the sesh; just continue with other activities.
Also, you don’t have to spend multiple hours just to have fulfilling tantric sex. So for those who weren’t keen on this practice because of time, just start with simple sensual activities first, such as tantric kissing. Those activities wouldn’t last an hour even if you went at a slow pace.
2How can people practice tantra during masturbation?
It’s all about focusing on the sensations instead of porn fantasies or sexual scenarios. We also recommend doing breathing techniques as you touch your body. Open your mouth and let your body release sounds as it would heighten your sensitivity and release tension. Let the sexual energy flow throughout your body.
3What do tantric orgasms feel like?
Some people have reported that orgasms from tantra sex are stronger and longer. The orgasmic sensations also spread throughout your body.
4When someone is experimenting with tantric sex, what are the physical signs that they’re “doing it right”?
Your partner is doing it right if you feel relaxed and fully aroused. There’s also extra sensitivity on your genitals. There’s also a different kind of energy/vibe in the room.
5Does it hurt to receive a sacred spot massage?
We get that you might be worried about getting stimulated in your vagina or anus, especially if it’s your first time. However, it’s not supposed to hurt as long as you’re getting fingered while relaxed and aroused. Make sure to have enough foreplay before moving to get fingered. It’s also vital to use water-based, silicone-based, or hybrid-based lubricants to prevent friction and further discomfort.
Partaking in tantric sex will help you unleash your sexual energy; it’s also a great step in strengthening your intimacy with your partner. If you want to learn more deeply about this practice, we suggest seeking out resources from Layla Martin and Sofia Sundari, highly-regarded tantra experts.