One great way to explore kinky play is by introducing handcuffs into your sex life. They’re widely available at most sex toy stores, frequently featured in movies, and easy to store at home. However, some couples may feel intimidated by their edgy appeal.
If you’re one of those people, don’t worry! This guide breaks down the basics to help you get started.
What Are BDSM Handcuffs and their Types?
BDSM handcuffs share a similar design to those used by police for restraint, but they’re modified slightly to better suit sexual play. Typically, they consist of two interlinked cuffs that lock around the wrists. Depending on the type, they may require a key to open, or feature a built-in locking mechanism.
BDSM handcuffs come in various types to suit different preferences and experience levels:
- Metal Cuffs – These are the classic, police-style handcuffs that most people picture when they think of BDSM restraints. While they’re iconic and offer a firm hold, they’re not ideal for beginners, as they can feel rigid and uncomfortable during use.
- Leather Cuffs – Made from soft, durable leather, these offer the classic BDSM look with a gentler, more comfortable feel than metal. Many styles feature built-in buckle or snap closures that secure snugly around the wrists (no key required), making them ideal for beginners.
- Silicone Cuffs – These are made of two soft, stretchy silicone loops connected together. To wear them, you slip your hands through the rings—no buckles or keys required. While they don’t offer the same level of restraint as metal or leather cuffs, they’re perfect for beginners who are still exploring whether handcuffs are right for them. If they get anxious mid-play, they can be easily slipped off for a quick release.
- Faux Fur Cuffs – A popular choice among couples, these cuffs bring a playful, flirty vibe to the bedroom. They typically feature a soft inner lining for comfort, while the outside is wrapped in colorful or patterned faux fur.
Tips When Using Handcuffs During Sex
Interested in adding handcuffs to your bedroom play? Here are some tips to keep in mind:
1Start with open communication.
Before engaging in restraint play, ensure that you discuss it with your partner. Consent is key—not just for the person wearing the cuffs, but for anyone involved in the scene. Some people may feel uneasy about using handcuffs, and that’s completely valid.
Once you’re both on board, take time to discuss expectations and boundaries. Talk about how long you’ll use the cuffs, which type feels right, and what positions or activities you’d like to try. And don’t skip the safeword; it’s a non-sexual word either of you can say to stop everything immediately, no questions asked.
Yes, it might feel a little “planned” at first, but that’s especially helpful for beginners. Just think of it as part of the fun!
2Choose the right pair of handcuffs.
When shopping for handcuffs, it’s best if both partners are involved in the decision. That way, you can find a pair that suits both your tastes and comfort levels. For beginners, opt for cuffs that are soft and easy to use, such as those made from faux fur, silicone, or leather. Avoid anything too complex or rigid until you’ve built more experience and trust with restraint play.
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Hot3Tease and build anticipation.
Once the submissive partner is cuffed, don’t rush straight into oral or penetrative sex. Part of the fun is the anticipation.
Tease their body with light touches, kisses, or even toys like a vibrator or BDSM tickler. You can focus on external erogenous zones to keep them guessing and build arousal slowly. You can also explore temperature play by gliding a warm glass dildo or an ice cube across your partner’s skin.
To take things a step further, consider adding a blindfold. Being both restrained and unable to see what’s coming next can heighten anticipation and arousal for many people.
4Explore different types of sexual activities together.
Handcuffs don’t have to be limited to penetrative sex—there’s a wide range of activities you can enjoy while one partner is restrained. As mentioned earlier, you might explore temperature play, or try some light spanking or impact play to heighten sensation. Roleplaying is another great option, where you both take on characters to make the experience even more immersive.
You can also bring in a variety of sex toys to bring more fun to the deed. Think vibrators, dildos, clit suckers, butt plugs, anal beads, whips, strokers, or prostate massagers—whatever suits your shared fantasies.
5Experiment with various sex positions.
Another way to have more fun with handcuffs during sex is by trying out different positions. While it might seem like having one partner restrained would limit your options, that’s not really the case. There are plenty of positions that work well with handcuffs, suited to various preferences and comfort levels. Here are some positions worth checking out:
Recommended BDSM Handcuffs
Ready to spice things up with a little restraint play? Here are some of the bestselling handcuffs from our store that couples love to explore:
Takeaway
Handcuffs during sex can be a thrilling and playful addition to your bedroom routine—when done with proper communication, preparation, and safety in mind.
That said, they’re not essential to a satisfying sex life. If you or your partner aren’t feeling it, that’s perfectly okay! There are plenty of other adventurous ways to connect and explore your desires together.
