How do you give a mind-blowing handjob? If you want to improve your sexual relations with your partner, a good foreplay is a must. While there’s no harm in simply sticking it in if you’re absolutely horny, everyone can agree that foreplay greatly enhances the general experience of sex. Foreplay promotes a better mood prior to doing the deed. Kissing is always a good way to start it off and thaw the body out a little. Then, once you get the rhythm going, you start moving on to groping and fondling. Eventually, you work your way down to the genitals. Some couples prefer to eat their partners out. And others, like you, are probably interested in knowing how to rock your partner’s brains out with a handjob.
Sexual intercourse has been a thing since the dawn of time, or at least the dawn of reproductive organs. Recreational sex probably a little later, and handjobs are the most basic of this topic. Maybe the early Greeks did it, or ancient civilizations, even. Nevertheless, whether it be for foreplay or a quickie to make him cum, giving a handjob is actually more difficult than you think, and does require some technique and skill.
So, how do you give a handjob? Here are some tips:
1 Make him erect.
You can actually skip this step if he’s already erect from your kissing, but in case he’s not, then there are a lot of very efficient ways to make him hard. Start with gentle strokes, up and down. If you’re game, you can lick his shaft first or give the head a little love with your mouth or tongue. If not, gentle strokes will do, then let him touch you a bit to get him more aroused.
Aside from that, there are many other ways to get your partner more erect. Kissing or licking him in sensitive areas like the neck, ears, chest, or even thighs will work wonders, and you’ll soon have a very attentive soldier to deal with. However, don’t start the handjob right away. Even fully erect, still take it slow to build up sexual tension.
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2 Start slow
Once your partner is fully erect and fully turned on, it’s time for the real work to begin. Start with slow rhythmic strokes. Be sure to touch the rim of his head on the way up and down to maximize arousal. If it gets too dry, apply some oil, lotion, lube, or whatever is on hand at the time. You can even use your spit if you’re daring enough.
It’s important to note that if you’re going to apply the lube, don’t pour it directly over the head, as that could cause problems with the viscous liquid getting inside your partner’s urethra. And that’s definitely not a good thing. Instead, pour the liquid onto your hands first before touching his penis to avoid any pain or damage. Be careful also not to squeeze too hard. It’ll just cause more discomfort and pain than actual pleasure, which is always the goal of learning how to give a handjob. Get a good grip on it without preventing blood flow. This is important to remember.
3 Change the rhythm
After a while of slowing down the pace, kick it up a notch and go faster. You can take it the extra mile and twist your hands on the way down to really get it there, just be careful to note that it’s your hands that are twisting around his penis. Don’t twist his dick by accident. You don’t want to go all the way to the emergency room for that. Also, penis fractures are real and you don’t want that for your partner, hun.
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4 Maximize his arousal
The next step is to keep him aroused and turned on. Mechanical handjobs are a sad sight, and even sadder when there’s no passion behind them; you’ll simply end up with a limp dick and a ruined night. What you want is to get him squirming, moaning, or grunting in pleasure. To this effect, here are a few things you can do.
Suck on his nipples. Women aren’t the only ones sensitive in this area. Do it correctly, and you’ll be able to make him squirm a bit in pleasure, inching him closer to that golden moment. Your other options include sucking on his testicles, though you’ll have to be careful not to overdo it as it can instead cause your partner pain. You can also lick his neck and ears, as both are sensitive erotic zones.
5 Communicate with your partner
There may be other more specific ways of turning on your partner, though this will have to come from him. These are only the basic erotic zones that are common to everyone. However, more specific fetishes might do a better job of turning him on. Learning what works and what doesn’t is the best way to really give an amazing experience. Communicate with your partner as this is also your way of learning the best way on how to give a handjob.
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6 Go faster
Now that you have a steady pace going, he should be at around the halfway point. Even if he isn’t, cause there’s really no way to quantify how close he is to ejaculating, you control the pace and can take your time with that pace until you’re ready to take it up a notch. Patience is also needed in knowing how to give a handjob.
During this time, you can do a couple of things. First off, you can switch to a two-handed stroke, if your partner is big enough, or you can put more lube to refresh the wetness of his penis. Either way, now is the time to do faster, shorter strokes. Make sure your hands are still hitting either the rim of his head or going over it completely, as the head itself is the most sensitive part and the most important to touch in getting him off.
Once you have a nice, fast but steady pace going, repeat step 4 if possible, edging him even closer to ejaculating.
7 Mix it up
It’s entirely possible that you’re feeling a little tired at this point. If he hasn’t cum yet, this might be a good time to switch your pace back to slow. Prolong it a bit more. Your enjoyment matters, too, after all.
You can also try out different angles while you jerk him off, such as a 69 position, so he can please you too while you’re on top of him.
Straddling him while giving a handjob is also a hot option, maybe rub your genitals against his too to make it spicier. This way, you can rest for a bit while still keeping him very much aroused. Combinations are great and important to master when learning how to give a handjob.
8 Make it rain
Now that you’ve done all that, he should be close to ejaculating by now – and if he isn’t, he’s got balls of steel. If the answer is the latter, then just keep repeating steps 2-7 until he’s close. Some signs that indicate that he’s close to climax would be curling toes, extended legs, and in some cases, grabbing hard at the closest object reachable. Whether it be the bedding, a wall, or maybe placing a hand on your head or body, you know he’s about to cum when he’s grabbing on to something.
The next part is simply bringing it home. Whatever speed you were doing at step 6, go for even faster than that. Finish him off, so to speak. Either use two hands, or everything mentioned in step 4, to drive it home. Always keep in mind to lubricate your hands and his penis enough, so you have an easier time doing this. And in no time at all, you will achieve ultimate success. You will make him splash his hot seed all over you, or if you’re kinky, inside your mouth, maybe.
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9 Aftercare
Once the deed is done, and you’re both completely spent, taking care of your partner is common courtesy, especially if you initiated the handjob. Of course, this goes both ways, but he might be too exhausted to move immediately after ejaculating, so you’re going to have to take care of him first. If he splashed on himself, get him a towel to wipe himself off, or if he splashed on you, clean up first before tending to your partner.
Offer him a glass of water, too, to rehydrate himself after ejaculating. The whole endeavor can get exhausting, and science has confirmed that cumming for men depletes electrolytes in addition to the obvious fluid loss. The water will at least help him get back on his feet after.
Aftercare is important in many sexual encounters, as it not only helps physically in terms of recovery after sex. It also strengthens the emotional bond between you and your partner. Taking care of each other is important for the relationship as well. You did not only learn how to give a great handjob. You can also build stronger bonds between the both of you.
Frequently Asked Questions
So while our advice above comes from some extensive hands-on research, there are still some questions we haven’t tackled. Here are a few questions we asked when we began looking into giving the best hand jobs possible.
1My partner says they don’t like handjobs, is there anything I can do to convince them?
Have you asked them why they don’t like handjobs? If not, maybe that’s where you should start. If you have, then work with them to tackle their concerns and misgivings about handjobs. Masturbating is basically a self-executed handjob, so you’re actually volunteering to give them the same pleasure without them putting in any work. Maybe they’ve had a traumatic experience with handjobs or perhaps they feel uncomfortable having your hands all over their penis. Communication can help you both become more comfortable with the idea.
2Are there toys I can incorporate to make the experience better?
Things like penis sleeves and strokes can definitely level up your handjob game. You can choose an open-ended stroker so that while one hand is in direct contact with the penis, you can allow the nubs and ridges of a stroker to add an entirely different sensation. You can also fully envelop the penis in a sleeve during a handjob. This blocks all skin contact but you have a variety of different textures available so you can figure out which pattern and design feel best as you’re being stroked. This is also great because the sleeve will catch the ejaculation making clean-up easier than if it got on their hands, sheets, or worse – the carpet.
3I’m insecure about my small hands when I try to give a handjob. Help.
Small hands aren’t a big problem when it comes to handjobs. It isn’t even a small problem. Just keep in mind the theory of relativity. If your hands are small, it can make his penis look even bigger in comparison, and who’s going to complain about that. For all the hand job givers with big hands, that’s not an issue either. It means you can play around more with the length and girth of their penis at the same time. As long as you’re tugging, twisting, and rubbing the right way, hand size isn’t an issue.
4I’ve tried everything, but my partner just doesn’t orgasm when I give him a hand job. What can I do?
Have a conversation. While it may bruise your ego, there may be factors you haven’t considered and he is too shy to tell you about. He might be purposefully holding back, or there may be just a little adjustment you can make to your stroke game to drive them even wilder.
5How do I tell my partner I want to give them a handjob?
Well, not to be a smart ass, but maybe just tell them. It’s rare that you’ll find someone that will say no to that offer. But if you don’t want to just bring it up out of the blue, maybe the next time you see him stroking his own penis, you offer your assistance. You can also ask when you’re in the middle of your sex session. It’s great foreplay.
Keep up the good “hand” work!
All in all, handjobs require more than just simple mechanical motions, and being an effective listener is also important in learning how to give a great handjob. Be attentive to your partner. Know what works and doesn’t, know what positions turn him on. Being good in bed, in general, is a great skill to have, especially for all those looking to be great sexual partners. Knowing the basics, and knowing how to turn him on more effectively, will definitely help in making you a beast in the bedroom.
