We all want to think that our relationships are something special. That ours is a relationship cut above the rest and that there’s not gonna be any problems along the way, just rainbows and sunshine. But unfortunately, shit happens. Eventually, every relationship hits a bump on the road. Everything starts to crumble down and next thing you know, you and your partner are dealing with common relationship problems like every other couple and screaming at each other’s faces.
The harsh reality of life is that when everything’s going smoothly, there’s sure to be hell coming after. One minute you’re all lovey-dovey with each other, the next you’re already on the verge of a breakup. Too cynical? Okay, okay, we’re stopping there. But the point is, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, no matter how much we want to believe otherwise. The ups and downs are forever going to be there, so we may as well come prepared. The next time you and your boyfriend are having issues, here are a few things you can do to fix them.
When the green-eyed monster takes over
You’re checking your Facebook feed and you see a picture of your bae with some other girl. It that instant, all sorts of thoughts enter your head. Who’s she? Why are they together? And OMFG Is he cheating on me? Is that why he’s been getting home late these past weeks? You call him up and demand answers RIGHT AWAY.
The green-eyed monster has taken over and she isn’t stopping until you’re raging like a madwoman over his alleged cheating. Although nothing’s confirmed yet. All your basis for your paranoia is a single picture on Facebook. It’s a group picture, by the way. But still, you can’t help but be suspicious.
How to fix it
Jealousy is a common relationship problem among couples. But before you go all Hulk on your man, girl you need to chill. Make sure you actually got some pretty solid case for your jealousy. Maybe in minimal dose, jealousy can be cute. Go overboard, and it spells out disaster. It’s hard to contain that green-eyed monster sometimes. But you need to learn how to get past that gut-eating emotion or all your relationships are heading for a tumultuous end.
Jealousy can stem from having insecurities. The best way to address this is to get to the bottom of it and work on fixing your insecurities first. Find out where your insecurities are coming from. Is it something personal? Or is your relationship just not that stable yet? Instead of arguing again and again about some random girl on a picture, build enough trust with each other.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Nurture that and you can rest easy even if you see a picture of your bae with some other girl in your newsfeed. And if it’s reaaallyyy bothering you, you can always talk to him about it—minus the outbursts. Confront him and ask what’s really going on. Tell your partner how you really feel. And if he’s a decent boyfriend, he’s going to take the time of the day to assure you that you got nothing to worry about. If he doesn’t, then he’s an asshole and you really have to get yourself a new boyfriend.
Those bad habits you find annoying AF
There’s always that one or two bad habits of your partner that you find absolutely annoying. You love him for what he is, but you wish he quits that shit. It can be about those little things such as he always leaves his dirty clothes on the floor instead of placing it on the laundry basket. Or he always forgets to turn the lights off in the room before leaving the house. No matter how petty it sounds, these bad habits can sometimes start a fight. Some bad habits are more severe and more damaging to one’s life. Not only emotionally and physically, but even financially. It can be in the form of alcohol drinking, or smoking, or even gambling.
How to fix it
Habits are hard to change. If it annoys you that your man always leaves his clothes on the floor or doesn’t seem to bother about saving electricity, then tell him so. Explain to him why he has to change. Do it calmly and don’t make him feel like you’re attacking him. No one wants to be told how to live their lives, even if it’s something that sounds completely rational. You probably have to tell him over and over again. Patience is a virtue and you’re sure going to need a lot of it as you hammer unto your boyfriend’s head.
Now if it’s a bad habit like drinking, gambling, and smoking, you can always try to convince them to stop doing it. Don’t think about picking up any of those vices just so the two of you can have something to bond over. Ask yourself if the consequences are really worth it. You’re not obligated to change your lifestyle for anyone, even if it’s for the person you love and care about. Of course, that also goes for your boyfriend. He doesn’t have to stop his old habits for you either just because you told him so.
The best way to approach this common relationship problem is by coming to a compromise. If he wants to keep smoking, then he can do it somewhere else. Not anywhere near you where you’re in danger of suffering the harms of second-hand smoking. Or if he wants to drink, you don’t have to join him. He can do so with his friends. And if he wants to gamble, he can but only with an allotted budget. However, when his bad habits evolve into an addiction, then you may want to consider seeking professional help to save your relationship.
Bedroom activities have fizzled
Let’s talk about sex, baby. Sex is a way of showing intimacy for each other. So if you’re not getting any from your partner, it’s natural to feel like something’s missing. We understand it can get really frustrating if your sexual needs aren’t being met. If one partner wants to do it and the other wants to wait for marriage, there’s going to be a rift in the relationship.
Even for married couples, sex is also a common relationship problem. When the honeymoon phase fizzles out, and you’ve been doing the same thing in bed for the last five years, sex just isn’t as exciting as it used to be. With work and kids to think about, you’re both stressed out and barely have time to get the sexy going. You’re lucky if you can get it in at least twice a month.
How to fix it
We get that you want to share that beautiful experience with your bae. You got your needs but if your partner isn’t ready to go all the way with you and wants to get married first before you romp up the sheets, then you need to respect their decision. End of discussion. Don’t even try to make your partner feel bad about it just so you can get your way, because that’s a shitty move and you deserve to rot in hell for it.
As for married couples who found themselves in a rut lately, the problem lies in the fact that you’ve gotten way too familiar with each other. You’ve gotten used to each other that you no longer look forward to your sexy times. Maybe it’s time for you to switch up your routine and do a little bit of exploring.
Put life back in your bedroom by breaking the taboos and giving them a try. Experiment with different love toys or even BDSM to really get you going. Rekindle the passion you have for each other by setting the right mood and attitude. Give each other some space and distance just so you can miss each other and get excited for each other’s company again. And no matter how busy the two of you are and how little time you have, always pay attention to your bedroom activities. You can always resort to “quickies” before the kids wake up. *wink wink*
The dreaded money problems
Even a mature relationship can meet common relationship problems that involve money. When trouble in paradise has to do with your finances, you’re forced to face the reality that relationships don’t survive on love alone. You need money to pay for your love nest and your dates. If you’re married and have kids, you have to pay your children’s education and put food on the table. The list is never-ending. There’s so much pressure to make good dough so you can provide for your daily need. It’s not at all surprising to know that money is one of the most common relationship problems.
In other cases, money issues are raised because one partner earns more than the other. The disparity causes insecurity for the partner who earns less. This is especially true for cases where the man earns less than the woman. Because of society’s antiquated idea that men have to be the provider, men in relationships who earn less than their partner feel as if their manhood is being challenged.
How to fix it
If you’re always short on cash, there’s really no better way of fixing this issue other than looking through your finances. Study the flow of your spending and earning. What are you spending on so much? Is there a big difference in your spending habits from the time you were single to the time you’ve been in a relationship? Identify which areas changed a lot and adjust your finances accordingly if you notice a problem. If the money issue is about one partner earning more and the other partner feels insecure about it, the way to fix this is by taking a long retrospect in your upbringing. Do you really want those old school concepts of manhood to affect your relationship? It’s 2019 and so much has changed. Men are no longer expected to be the sole provider.
You don’t really like his fam (and they don’t like you back)
In a perfect world, you want to have a happy and harmonious relationship with your man’s family, from his parents down to his baby nieces. Be invited to every dinner party and show up there with a cake that you baked and they’re all going to welcome you into their home with kisses and warm hugs. Unfortunately, in the real world, his parents don’t like you for whatever reason. Don’t worry, not being in good terms with your partner’s parents is just one of those common relationship problems couples have to deal with.
You especially don’t like his aunts who seem to be hell-bent on nitpicking everything that you do. The way you dress, your choice of words, and even that cake you baked. So every time he asks you to go visit his fam, something’s always up at work. Your officemate’s pet fish died or something and you need to be there for her so you can’t join him in his family reunion.
How to fix it
Look, your boyfriend didn’t choose his parents. If you fight with his family, your man is going to feel caught in between. And if you love him, you’re not gonna put him in that situation. So no matter how much you don’t like your boyfriend’s mom and dad, you need to play nice with them. With that being said, you don’t have to completely let them in in your life, but you don’t have to completely shut them out either. There’s no need for you to be friends and start having tea parties every Thursday, but being cordial usually does the job. If you’re struggling to find any good qualities with your boyfriend’s parents, just think about the way they raised their son and how he turned out to be a great guy.
These common relationship problems may be something you and your partner are currently dealing with. At least now you have ideas on how you can solve your issues. Remember, the enemy is the problem and not each other. The two of you are on the same side so you have to work together as a team and face those problems head-on.