Disclaimer: This guide on wax play is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice.
Wax play can be intimidating at first, but upon closer examination, it simply requires thorough preparation and effective communication. Let’s delve into it further through this guide here.
What You’ll Learn
- What is Wax Play?
- Why People Are Into It
- How to Prepare for Wax Play
- What Type of Wax to Use
- How to Safely Practice Wax Play
- How to Make It More Fun
- Watch and Learn
- More sources for learning
What is Wax Play?
Wax play is a form of erotic body stimulation that involves putting warm, melted candle wax onto someone’s body. It falls under temperature play, which involves playing with hot or cold items for sexual pleasure and stimulation. Moreover, it’s included under sensation play, wherein your 5 senses are heightened and activated. In this case, touch is involved when the candle wax slides all over your body, giving you the sensation of heat and burn. Responsibly, of course. There’s a certain fragrance you can smell from a candle while also being able to see it glide all over your body.
Wax play may be involved with BDSM, wherein such power dynamics mesh well with its activities. It can be the main act or part of foreplay for something bigger.
Why People Are Into It
Read this section to know what draws people into wax play here.
1They like the sensory intensity.
The sudden, sharp contrast between the heat of the wax and the coolness of the skin creates a unique sensory experience. This elevates awareness, producing a rush of adrenaline and intensifying arousal and presence in the moment. It also creates the thrill of controlled pain that’s deeply stimulating.
2 They explore pain and pleasure simultaneously.
Wax play safely explores the interplay between discomfort and pleasure. This “controlled risk” lets participants experience sensations they might not encounter in everyday life, often leading to a cathartic or euphoric release.
3 It builds trust and intimacy.
Wax play requires a high level of trust between participants. The person receiving wax must rely on their partner’s care and precision, fostering a sense of connection and emotional closeness.
4 It brings in novelty and excitement.
Trying something new always lights up the mood and affects how your day goes. With wax play, it can be thrilling to explore an act that can be quite taboo and unusual at first.
5 They get to explore their limits.
Wax play provides a controlled way to explore personal thresholds of discomfort and excitement. Many participants find it empowering to test their boundaries in a safe, consensual environment, which can translate to increased confidence in other areas of life or sexuality.
How to Prepare for Wax Play
When getting started on wax play, the first thing you need to do is prepare your body first.
If you’re the one who’ll experience the wax on your body, preparation can look like:
- Knowing your skin type (especially if you’re sensitive so you can take extra precaution)
- Knowing which zones are yes and no to wax play
- Personal exploration before involving a partner
But if you’re the one in charge of the candle, you may want to practice how you hold the candle and the angles of your hands so the wax lands safely. You can practice with an easy-to-wash cloth and more tutorials that we’ll mention later on.
Knowing the right candles to use is vital once you and your partner know each other’s skin types. Oh, and make sure to have a scraping device for after playing around with wax. An example is a plastic card. Use water, ice, and a soft cloth to wash the rest of the wax off. Have massage oils on standby to moisturize the body after.
What Type of Candles to Use
Wax play means being risk-aware and careful, as it does involve fire and heat. In this case, using low-burning candles like soy-based candles cools down faster. Massage candles fall under this category, making them suitable for wax play or temperature play, especially if you buy from known sex toy shops. Like ours!
As for what candles to avoid, anything with beeswax, as it burns highly.
How to Safely Practice Wax Play
Have a fun and safe time exploring this act with these tips below.
1 Have a willing partner.
Wax play is more commonly known as a partnered activity, so it’s key to have a partner who is respectful and gives consent to this activity. It’s also key to communicate to them about this activity, what it’s about, why you like it, and why you want to try it with them. Whatever response you get from them, respect it.
But if it’s a yes, you can continue on to the next step.
2 Discuss ground rules and boundaries.
For any sexual or erotic activity, setting ground rules and boundaries ensures that both partners involved don’t cross the line and cause harm. Ground rules can look like always informing when wax is to be applied, only doing it when both parties are sober and relaxed, and making sure to clean up at the end.
As for boundaries, it can be having certain areas not being touched by wax and setting a safe word. For the former, that would be anywhere on the face, ears, internal zones, hairy zones, or any open wounds.
3 Do it in a private place.
Privacy is important for an act like this, especially when wax may be challenging to deal with. A private place can be your bedroom, theirs, or a hotel room, though you must tread carefully with that one.
4 Be mindful of the candle.
Chances are you’ll be moving the candle a lot, along with the fact that there’s a flame involved. Make sure to secure it safely and minimize movement, too.
5 Ease into it.
You don’t want to rush into wax play, regardless of what it is in the session. Take your time with each other with foreplay, like making out, cuddling, and other forms of touch to get warmed up. At the same time, prepare the candle that you’ll use.
6 Take it slowly.
Once you’re comfortable with each other, check the candle. If it’s burning well, slowly tip it in drops to get a feel of it. Try it on your thigh first to test it out. Distance matters too, wherein the closer it is, the warmer the wax is, and so on. Allow yourselves to go at your own pace.
7 Be mindful of where the wax is placed.
Some areas are more sensitive than others, like the chest, genitals, and back. That means that it can be more painful to apply wax there, so figure out if those areas are okay or to ignore them instead.
8 Check in with each other regularly.
Communication doesn’t occur before the act. It’s ongoing. It can be verbal or non-verbal, though the latter must be discussed ahead of time. In other words, let each other know how you’re feeling and doing to make it more pleasurable and fun.
9 Take turns!
Make sure all parties involved have their fun with wax place, unless the other party says otherwise. That way, everyone gets to experience and explore what it’s like and see if it’s something they’d do more of.
10 Don’t forget to do aftercare.
Wax play can get messy, so aftercare starts with cleaning up. Afterwards, unwind together with a cuddle and chat so neither of you experiences an emotional crash or post-coital dysphoria.
How to Make It More Fun
Wax play can be more enjoyable by:
- Inserting other kinks and sexual acts
- Trying different distances between the area and the candle
- Adding a massage in between
- Kisses in nearby areas
- Playing mood music
- Dimming the lights
- Having a safety kit on standby (eg, washcloths, medicine like burn cream, bandages, fire extinguisher, etc.)
Watch and Read
Want to learn more about wax play? This section lists down various online references about the topic.
Watch
- Beducated: Want To Try Wax Play? These Are The HOT Kinky Things
- Evie Lupine: BDSM 101: Waxplay
- The Open Bedroom Podcast: EP#145 How To: Hot Wax Play
Read
- Women’s Health: What Is Wax Play? 13 Ways To Heat Up Your Sex Life Safely, According To Sex Experts
- Reviewed: What you need to know about wax play, according to an expert
- Deviance: It’s getting hot: wax play
Summary
- Wax play involved using warm candle wax for erotic and sexual stimulation.
- It falls under temperature play, which is part of sensation play. BDSM too.
- Using the right type of candle is important for safety.
- Wax play can be risky if you don’t know what you’re doing, so looking up guides is key.
- Communication, adding in other kinks and sexual acts, and aftercare make this act safer and more enjoyable.
