Dear Dr. Sex,
My husband and I are pregnant. We’ve been very happy when we found out. We’ve been trying for three years and it finally happened. Even our family and friends were enthusiastic when we gave them the news. It’s just a blessing that we have all been praying for. Most especially my husband, he’s been taking good care of me and our little one. He makes sure that I get the needed check-ups and vitamins. When I get cravings, it doesn’t matter what time, he’ll get up even at the middle of the night, just to give me what I want.
But as much as he tries to give me what I want, he doesn’t want to have sex with me. It drives me crazy. I may be pregnant but I’m still a woman with earthly desires. He says he’s afraid it would hurt the baby but it’s killing me. What should I do? I’m only on my first trimester of pregnancy. Will it really hurt our baby?
First of all, congratulations! I am so happy for you and your husband. Hearing about how long you tried to conceive makes me understand why your husband might be feeling nervous about having sex with you. Understand that he might be thinking that sex is too rough for a pregnant woman. Since the baby is in a very fragile state, he might be thinking that it must be treated gently and cautiously. Aside from hurting the baby, he might be thinking that having sex can possibly cause a miscarriage. He just wants to protect you and your baby. It’s not likely that those things will happen, though.
In order for him to actually hurt the baby, he’d have to enter your vagina, go through your cervix, rupture the amniotic sac and then poke the baby. Such scenario is just…physically impossible. Aside from the fact that he can’t enter the cervix since it’s very tightly closed, his penis is not long enough to reach the baby. And I know I’ve never seen your husband’s penis, but I’m assuming it’s not a thin stick and of average length only. Aside from this, the baby is well-cushioned with layers of protection from the uterus. So, tell him that. Sex doesn’t hurt the baby at all. In fact, it’s believed that most babies enjoy the rocking motion of sex and will fall asleep during it. All your baby feels, if anything, is a gentle rocking.
In case he still isn’t convinced, bring him to the ob-gyne with you on your next appointment and ask for medical advice.
I hope that helps your situation, Soon-to-be-mommy.