Ahhh, we’re talking about the benefits of having friends with benefits! Let’s ignore how redundant it sounds and focus instead on pointing out what’s already obvious. In an FWB situation, the number one perk you can get out of it is no strings-attached sex.
You get to have a special friend you bang but are not in a relationship with. The two of you practically do what couples do in the bedroom, but you treat each other as if you’re just common friends outside of it. As if you’re not sharing spit and other body fluids that come out during sex.
It seems perplexing, but an FWB situation is pretty simple in theory. You rub uglies with each other minus the emotional entanglements. It’s ideal for people who don’t want to deal with the drama of being in a relationship.
But just like what we’ve seen from the movies, an FWB situation can turn sour quickly if you don’t guard your heart. And that’s why you need to establish clear and concise rules when you’re in one.
Pros of Friends-With-Benefits Relationship
Aside from the apparent casual sex, is there anything else from this setup? Not that sex is a good enough reason, but still, there must be something else out there. It turns out there are actually a few more awesome benefits an FWB can offer you. And as always, we’ve listed them down for you.
Whether you’re in a friends-with-benefits situation right now or at a point where you’re considering getting into one, we’re here to answer the benefits of this arrangement. And most importantly, is it worth it?
1You have a friend in and out of bed.
Most people aren’t fond of an FWB because they think they can lose a good friend if things end up badly. But as long as the two parties are mature enough, you have nothing to worry about.
In fact, if you’re smart when choosing your FWB, you can gain a friendship unlike any other. I mean, this is someone you’re sleeping in bed with, so you’re close to him in a way that no other friend of yours can ever be. Sure, there’s no emotional commitment to what you have. You don’t text each other at night exchanging “I love you” messages, nor do you cuddle and have pillow talks after sex, but you trust this person, feel a physical attraction, and enjoy each other’s company—albeit in bed only.
2There’s no need for you to flex.
You feel pressure to impress your partner when you’re in a normal relationship. There’s a tendency to show off all your good qualities, whether your new car, promotion, charitable side or brand-new house. You always want to look good, so your partner sees you as desirable for a long-term relationship.
It’s entirely unlike your friends-with-benefits relationship, where there’s little to no pressure. The only thing you need to work hard on in an FWB situation is ensuring you have awesome and mind-blowing sex. And if you find the sex lacking, you don’t have to stick around for it just because you’re worried that you may end up hurting your partner’s feelings. You’ve long established with your FWB that you’re both there for the sex, so if your partner’s performance isn’t up to par, what are you two doing? It’s okay for you to walk out the door and find someone else who can satisfy you.
3You can save money spent on dates.
If you add all the money on the things you spend on your dates, such as the new top and skirt you bought just for the special occasion, your bus tickets or gas money, movie tickets, popcorn and drinks, lunch expenses, afternoon snacks, and finally dinner, you’re going to come up with a pretty hefty amount. Let’s say you go on dates twice a week. You double that amount, and that’s how much your date costs you.
Even if you’re cheap on dates, you’ll still spend money one way or another. Just transportation alone is going to cost you.
Here’s another benefit you can reap from an FWB relationship. For all my cheapskates out there, you’ll be happy to know that there’s practically no need for you to go on a date with your FWB. As a matter of fact, dates are (sort of) forbidden.
Dates are for regular couples. It’s when couples spend quality time getting to know each other better, which is a waste of time in terms of a relationship. You do not need to learn anything about your FWB partner other than how he wants to take it in bed, what his favorite sex position is, which sex toy he’s comfortable with, and how many rounds he can go in one night.
4There are no anniversaries you need to remember.
Normal couples celebrate every little thing under the sun. Aside from the official yearly anniversary of their relationship, they also sometimes commemorate the day of their first or quarterly meeting, and some even celebrate monthly. Not only do these celebrations cost money, but they can also be a source of stress and hassle. It’s borderline ridiculous yet totally understandable. Couples who are in love get cheesy like that.
But when you’re in a friends-with-benefits situation, there’s nothing you need to celebrate other than the great sex you’re having. You don’t need to spend a dime on a fancy surprise dinner party with your partner, and if you forget about the date of your first meeting, it’s totally fine. Your partner isn’t going to hold it against you.
5You get to keep your freedom.
A committed and exclusive relationship is good, but that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Others can’t be tied down just yet. Some men and women want the freedom to go out and sample the different flavors the world offers before finally settling down. They want their cake, and they want to eat it too.
If you’re one of those who value their independence, you should explore your choices by engaging in an FWB situation. Because of its convenient and upfront nature, FWB relationships are the perfect setup for free-spirited people like you. You can hit it and quit it anytime you like, with no feelings getting hurt in the process. It doesn’t matter if you keep at it for weeks or months; the rules stay the same. You’re non-exclusive, and whatever you got going stays in the bedroom only.
6FWB breakups don’t end with tears.
Breakups are hard. It’s especially hard when you’ve been emotionally invested in the relationship. It can get messy and painful in the end. If you want to save yourself from all that drama, go for an FWB relationship.
There’s no love lost when a friends-with-benefits arrangement ends because there was never love to begin with. There are no tears shed and no hearts broken. You’ve been keeping everything casual, so you’re not emotionally devastated when the time comes that you need to turn to another chapter of your life. While not always guaranteed, a clean breakup is still more feasible in an FWB than in normal couple relationships.
7You’ll learn skills that will be valuable in future relationships.
In a successful FWB relationship, communication is key. You have the opportunity to learn about your own sexual preferences, boundaries, and communication skills. Open discussions with your partner about your desires and expectations can lead to a deeper understanding of your needs and foster better communication skills that can be valuable in future relationships. This relationship can also introduce you to new experiences and expand your social circle, leading to new connections and adventures.
8You’ll get to explore your sensual side.
No pressure, just pleasure! Another great thing about being in a friends-with-benefits relationship is you’ll get to expand your sexual horizons. In a trusting and non-judgmental dynamic, you and your FWB can feel more comfortable expressing your desires and trying new things. It can lead to personal growth, increased self-confidence, and a deeper understanding of your preferences and boundaries. Without the expectations of a committed relationship, you can focus on mutual pleasure and experimentation in the bedroom.
Cons of a Friends-with-Benefits Relationship
Of course, along with the pros are the cons. Like any other type of relationship, being in an FWB setup also comes with challenges. Below are some of the things you need to watch out for.
1The sex may not feel as passionate as you would want.
While physical attraction and compatibility can still play a role in a friends-with-benefits relationship, the absence of emotional investment and long-term commitment can limit the depth of connection experienced during intimate moments.
You may sprinkle it with kinks and other sensual activities, but let’s face it, the depth of connection and emotional bond you have with a romantic partner is unparalleled. That special spark, intense chemistry, ignites when you’re with someone you love. The emotional investment and shared history create a foundation for a more passionate and romantic sexual experience.
2Drama and conflict may occur in the long run.
Although emotional freedom is a pro, it can also be a con. As humans, we’re wired to develop feelings and emotional connections. In an FWB relationship, there’s always a risk that one person may develop stronger feelings than the other, leading to tension and the eventual demise of the FWB relationship.
Due to the casual nature of the relationship, both parties can date and hook up with other people. Though this is a benefit, it can also cause issues, as jealousy can rear its ugly head. Witnessing your FWB exploring other relationships or getting involved with someone else can trigger feelings of insecurity. That said, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning to prevent conflicts.
3Being in this arrangement can be seen as a red flag.
Another con with this setup is it can affect your future relationship. Some people may view your participation in such arrangements as a red flag, assuming you’re not interested in commitment or incapable of emotional intimacy. To foster trust and understanding, being open and honest with potential partners about your past experiences is essential.
4It may be holding you back from finding “the one.”
We get it. Being in a friends-with-benefits relationship is an easy and non-dramatic way to get laid. While it can be exciting and convenient, it’s crucial to question whether it might be holding you back from pursuing other opportunities or meaningful connections. Don’t let the fear of missing out or the comfort of the familiar prevent you from exploring other avenues for personal and romantic growth. Who knows, you might have been with “the one” all along, but your current setup is stopping you from discovering it.
5If safe sex practices aren’t strictly followed, misfortunes may occur.
In an FWB arrangement, where partners may have multiple sexual partners or engage in occasional casual encounters, the risk for sexually transmitted infections or STIs is higher. Without the emotional commitment and sense of exclusivity in monogamous relationships, there may be less communication about sexual health histories. That said, it’s important to get yourself protected through condoms. You can also get the HPV and Hepatitis B Vaccine to reduce risks.
Another issue to note before getting into a friends-with-benefits relationship is the possibility of getting pregnant. In a casual setup, where the primary focus is on casual sexual encounters, the level of preparedness for dealing with an unplanned pregnancy may be lower compared to a committed partnership. If contraception fails or is not used correctly, it can lead to an unexpected pregnancy and potentially create chaos for both parties. That said, you must have enough resources if you co-parent or care for the child alone.
There’s no denying that “friends with benefits” relationships’ number one perk is the sex that comes with it. The rest are just bonuses. As for the question of whether it’s worth giving a shot or not, it all depends on the person, really. If you can have a physical relationship without developing emotions, this one’s for you. But if you’re the opposite, we suggest you don’t involve yourself in an FWB situation and find something more serious instead.