Disclaimer: This guide only discusses the petticoating kink, its origin, and what couples could do if they’re interested. We don’t promote actually forcing or harassing someone to wear feminine clothes. Everyone involved in this kink is a willing adult. Sources will be linked accordingly.
Pressure. It comes in different forms, but we can all feel it. For instance, most men are pressured to take control, be in charge, and oblige the role of being a provider. They must hide their emotions and push through whatever challenges they face that day. Meanwhile, women are pressured to conform to narrow beauty standards, fulfill the caregiver role, and get ahead in their respective careers, all while trying to fight against deep-seated prejudice or hatred against their gender.
To break from the pressures of the real world, some people turn to kinks, diving into sexual fantasies to reveal their fun and sensual selves.
Role Playing. Degradation Kink. Praise Kink. Mommy Kink. Bondage Play. Impact Play. There is so much to explore, but today, we’ll discuss an uncommon kink called petticoating. It’s derived from the term petticoat, an underskirt worn under a skirt or dress. It has been a part of women’s fashion for centuries, which is why it’s used as the symbol for this kink.
What is Petticoating?
Petticoating is a kink that involves a male individual being forced to dress up in feminine clothing. It’s connected to BDSM, as there is a dominant (the person who’ll be pushing the sub to wear female garments) and a submissive (a man who will be obliged to the cross-dressing demands of the dominant.)
Is It Really “Forced?”
Though petticoating is also known as forced feminization, remember that all parties involved in this kink actually enjoy it. Nobody should be blackmailed, forced, or harassed to engage in this kink. Consent, expectations, desires, and boundaries must be discussed beforehand. Consent must also be given in every session and can be withdrawn at any point.
Why Would Couples Enjoy This Kink?
The dominant feel pleasure from the control and being able to see their partner in a feminine way, while the submissive relishes the feeling of being “helpless” and becoming someone else for a few hours. It’s thrilling, stress-relieving, and out of the norm.
Some couples also do kinks to spice up their sex life. When you’ve been with someone for a few years, the sexcapades can get stale, so others resort to exploring kinks to ignite that sexual spark.
Please note that not everyone with this kink enjoys it because of the reasons we’ve mentioned above; everyone has their reasons for engaging in this kink.
A Messed-Up History
Though petticoating seems a harmless kink between adults, its origins are pretty messed up as it involves children.
According to this blog post discussing petticoating punishment, it was common for middle and upper-class families during Victorian and Edwardian times to dress boys and girls alike until they reached a certain age, such as 5 or 6. However, some mothers wouldn’t stop dressing their boys in feminine clothing, using it as a “corporal punishment meted out to pubescent boys to subdue their boisterous behavior.”
Looking back, they may think doing this to their children is okay. But as we see it now with modern perspectives, it’s messed up. Boys are being forced to wear garments they’re uncomfortable with, leading to psychological and emotional problems in the long run. It also implies that femininity is so embarrassing that it’s considered an acceptable form of punishment.
Thankfully, we’ve moved past this, as consenting adults now do petticoating.
Activities Under Petticoating Kink
After learning the basics, you might be interested in trying this out. Don’t worry; we’re not here to judge. You have the right to engage in whatever kinks you would want, as long as the people involved are consenting adults. What happens in your private spaces is up to you and your partner(s) alone. Below are some of the activities involved in this kink.
The male submissive will wear clothes typically worn by the opposite gender, such as skirts, dresses, lingerie, and sexy costumes. He will also be asked to wear makeup, wigs, hair accessories, and feminization accessories like hip and breast pads.
Another part of petticoating kink is asking the submissive to do behaviors, mannerisms, and speech patterns traditionally associated with femininity. For instance, the dominant can “force” the sub to feminize their voice, do aegyo, or ask them to do chores like cooking.
In some cases, couples who do this also like pretending that they’re older or younger. For instance, the dominant may pretend they’re years older than they usually are to bring a more dominant role in the session.
4Role Playing of Sexual Fantasies
Another activity involved in this kink is role playing, in which both parties are dressed up to emulate a certain scenario. But because petticoating is incorporated, the role plays will differ from the usual ones, as the feminine role goes to the submissive.
For instance, the female dominant can play as the teacher, while the sub plays as the student. They can also do landlady-wife, doctor-patient, and others.
How to Try Petticoating Kink
Ready to take the plunge to petticoating? Below are some of the steps you can take to ensure a fun and safe experience. Remember that every experience is different, so use the instructions below as a guideline. We also suggest exploring with your partner and seeing what works for both of you.
1Communicate with your partner first.
As with all sexual activities, whether categorized as vanilla or kinky, you must talk to your partner first. People’s sexual interests vary widely, and it’s important to approach such discussions respectfully and sensitively.
Asking them about the kink at the start or middle of the deed is a big nope. It can lead to three things. One, there’s a tiny chance they actually like and have always fantasized about it. Second, they might say yes to it but would only do it half-heartedly as they need clarification on the whole thing. The third and most likely result is they may end up weirded out, offended, or just flat-out remove themselves from the situation.
That said, it’s important to discuss any new sexual act first. You can start with a simple question like “Babe, have you heard about petticoating?” or show this article and see how they react.
If you and your partner both want to try this kink, it’s time to move the discussion into expectations, desires, and boundaries.
Remember, just because your partner said yes to this kink doesn’t mean they would want to try all the activities under it. For example, the submissive is okay with being forced to dress up or do the chores, but they may feel iffy engaging in age play. You can proceed with the deed once the ground rules have been laid down.
2Start with something subtle.
Unsure whether or not you want to try petticoating? If you’re the dominant, try forcing your partner to make subtle changes first.
For instance, they can still wear regular clothes, but they’re accessorized with girly accessories. During sex, you can ask the sub to moan in a higher pitch. You can also force them to wear shirts in feminine colors, like pink and purple. It’s really up to you and your partner how you would want to kickstart this kink.
3Make the submissive more feminine with every session.
Do you and your partner enjoy the subtle feminization? You can then gradually make your partner more feminine with every sesh. Push them to wear women’s clothing. Force them to talk in a girly voice during sex. You can also demand them to use female sex toys. Remember to reinforce positive reinforcements every time your partner obliges to your demands.
4Incorporate other kinks and sexual fantasies.
As forced feminization is under the BDSM umbrella, you can incorporate BDSM activities into this kink. You can spank the submissive with a whip or paddle, tie them up with bed restraint, or try orgasm control (edging).
You can also incorporate other kinks like size kink, mommy kink, humiliation play, wax play, and more. Again, don’t forget to discuss the ground rules with your partner before adding any play in the petticoating play session.
5Check your partner regularly.
This is an important yet often overlooked step when engaging in a kink. Ask your partner about the kink from time to time. Are they okay with participating? What do they feel during the deed? What activities would they like to do more, and which ones would they want to avoid? Remember, not just because you’re satisfied that it means your partner is also satisfied.
Frequently Asked Questions
As you reach this guide’s end, you’ve now learned the basics of this kink. You can already start trying petticoating with your partner. But for those still having questions, we’re here to help you. Below are some of the common inquiries about this kink.
1Do transgender women engage in petticoating?
One of the common misconceptions about petticoating is that transgender women are into it since most of them wear feminine clothing. This isn’t the case at all, and it’s offensive to assume that a person wanting to transition in line with their gender identity is the same as someone who wants to engage in a kink.
Wanting to affirm your gender identity isn’t a kink or fetish. So for those who are sexualizing transgender women because they have this kink, stop right there and never engage in that behavior ever again.
2My partner isn’t interested in this kink; what should I do?
You can’t do anything about it. Consider recommending other kinks to your partner, or if bedroom matters are incredibly significant for you, go with someone more open to kinky activities.
3Is crossdressing and petticoating linked?
Yes, crossdressing is one of the activities involved in petticoating.
4What are the best sex toys for petticoating?
There are no specific love toys for petticoating, but consider trying BDSM toys such as collars, paddles, whips, ticklers, cuffs, nipple clamps, and bed restraints. You can also opt for regular toys like vibrators, dildos, anal plugs, anal beads, and others.
5Can petticoating be used as punishment for regular BDSM plays?
Yes, as long as you and your partner have discussed that, it’s okay to use it as a punishment.
Petticoating can be fun and satisfying for couples who wanna take off the pressures of their daily lives, but not everyone may not be into it. If you plan to explore this kink, it’s a good idea to educate yourself, communicate openly with your partner(s), and ensure that all activities are safe, consensual, and respectful.
You can also ask for help from a sex educator, sex therapist, or a local or online community specializing in forced feminization and femdom to learn more about this kink.
Communication, consent, and mutual agreement are paramount, as with any kink. Everyone should be on board with the activities and dynamics being explored. Good luck!