Looking for ways to move on and forget someone you love? Feeling like you can’t handle any more of that heartache? Doesn’t really matter whether it was a bad or clean break up– it will feel shitty anyway.
As much as we wanna tell you to cheer up, we all know that’s easier said than done. We’ve all had a time where we had to cut someone off out of our lives, so we totally understand that it’s no walk in the park when trying to forget someone you love. That person left a hole in your heart, and you just can’t seem to shake it off. You’re losing sleep, you can barely eat, and you burst into tears when just about anything reminds you of that person. It’s a total nightmare.
They say healing takes time, but time seems to fly by so fucking slow when you’re suffering. If you can just find a way to speed up the healing process, anything really that can ease the pain of your loss, you’re going to grab hold of it and take it like a damn champ.
With this moving on guide, we’re not promising you that we’ve got all the answers. But what we can do is share with you just a few ways that helped us get through those agonizing moments of our lives. It worked for us, and it may or may not work for you. But let’s face it. At this point, you’re just about ready to try anything just to learn how to move on and forget someone you love.
1Get your closure.
It’s hard to end things when you’re not really sure where you stand. Are the two of you over or just taking a cool off? If it happened through text, chances are, you’re still hung up about it. The only way to settle this is by actually meeting and ending things in person.
The breakup conversation may feel like you’re being stabbed, but at the very least, you come out of it with a clean cut. And if that person refuses to end things with you personally, or he just outright ghosted you, then you really don’t deserve this person because he’s a piece of shit. You dodged a bullet by actually getting rid of him in your life.
Remember, no closure is also a closure. Don’t stay stuck just because you need closure. Some relationships don’t have that, and that’s okay. That shouldn’t stop you from moving from that someone.
2Take a moment to grieve.
Most of the people and relationship blogs often tell you to get out there and have fun. They believe that the key to moving on from someone is to pretend as if nothing just happened. But here’s the thing, acting like nothing just happened can backfire in the long run.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to stay at home and just bingewatch some series. You don’t have to go out and party all night. Ending a relationship, especially for long-term ones, can feel like losing a loved one. So grieving is a natural way to deal with it.
However, we suggest setting a doable deadline for this. You can’t just sulk in there for months. If you want to forget someone that you love, you need to change your focus. Set your eyes to new hobbies and goals once you’re done with the grieving period.
3Accept the situation.
To learn how to move on from someone, you must first acknowledge and accept the situation. Denying can only lead to more unhealthy desires on your part. You keep replaying the scene where the fall out happened, looking for things you could have said or done to change the outcome. Once you wake up from that harsh reality, it won’t get any easier, but it can help in mentally make you stronger.
4Let go of your feelings.
You don’t stop by just accepting the facts. Once you wrap your head around the situation, it’s time for you to let go of your emotional attachments. Understand that there are no mending things between the two of you. Your story with this person isn’t from a rom-com. You wouldn’t have a “fateful” encounter after 2 years—that person is probably in a relationship already by that time.
That’s why once you’ve accepted the situation, the next step to forget someone you love is by letting go of the attachment that you have from them. It’s over and time to let go. Severe your ties with your ex and set your mind and heart free. Trust us, you’re going to feel so much lighter.
5Get rid of the gifts.
Don’t be into self-torture. If you already know that the bracelet you’re wearing was a birthday gift from your ex and you can’t help but bawl your eyes out whenever you look at it, then do yourself a favor. Get rid of that damn thing on your wrist. Give it back to your ex, or donate it to charity.
Check your bedroom. Anything else there that’s making you think of that person? Throw it out. “To the left, to the left,” as Beyonce puts it. You can’t learn how to forget if you keep remembering him with all those things. By physically tossing out things that once held special meaning for you and your ex-partner, you’re pushing the eject button on your subconscious and kicking that person out of your heart and mind.
You can also take a different approach and just hide those gifts. Someday, once you’ve fully moved on from that someone, you’ll just smile by seeing that bracelet in your closet.
6Block them from your social media accounts.
You’ve already ex-proofed your room, so you may also want to do the same for your internet-verse. You don’t want to see pictures of your ex spread out on your screen. You especially don’t want to check their stories on Snap. That’s the last thing you want to do. Blocking your ex from your Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat isn’t a petty move. And even if everyone else thinks it is, who cares anyway. Forget what anyone else says. Prioritize yourself.
If having an ex-free social media is what helps to forget someone you love, so be it. And besides, you also avoid the temptation of overdoing things on social media, like say, posting pictures of you having a blast and with some other person, just to prove your ex that you’re doing well without them. You’re letting them control your actions– your ex doesn’t even need to lift a finger. Don’t bother. Keep moving forward.
7Don’t connect with your ex in any way.
Dua Lipa already said it, “Don’t pick up the phone, you know he’s only calling ‘cuz he’s drunk and alone.” That’s some pretty solid advice right there. Even if your ex is sober, we still suggest you cancel that call right now. Your goal is to move on from that someone, and that’s kinda hard to do when you keep talking to them. If you want to move on with your life without your ex in it, you need to give yourself the time and space to get used to living without their presence.
8Stop talking about your ex.
The more you talk about your ex, the more they get to you. How can you move on from that someone if you talk about your ex all the freaking time?
We get that you want to talk about ex with your friends as a way to vent out your feelings. After all, speaking out the pain can be helpful when you want to forget someone that you love. What’s not okay is when you’re doing it every damn time.
How do you know if you’ve reached a point of “too much”? Look at your friends’ expressions. Do they look bored to you? Are they checking their phone while you tell them about how the two of you used to listen to the same music? Are they quick to change topics whenever you drop your ex’s name? If they are, then honey, you’ve been excessively talking about your ex that even your closest friends don’t even want to stay around.
9Take time to retrospect.
Take the time to think about what happened with an objective approach. Sure, it’s easy to just play the victim card. But nobody’s perfect. And maybe your relationship failed in the first place because you had your own flaws.
Don’t put all the blame on your ex. Look at it from their angle. Were there times when you acted bratty and selfish? Have you said any words to them that may have hurt their feelings? If you can identify your character flaws, you can work on them and grow from it. Depending on how you take it, you can come out of a broken relationship with a more mature mind. Use the experience as a way to become a better person.
10Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms.
It’s typical for us to seek temporary highs when trying to forget someone that we love. That’s why when you enter clubs and bars, it’s usually filled with broken souls. They’re trying to numb the pain with unhealthy coping mechanisms—alcohol, junk food, meaningless sex, anything that can give them that emotional high.
It can be tempting, don’t fall on this trap. It’s not going to help you heal and may even jeopardize your physical and mental health. Try to incorporate new and productive hobbies and get support from your loved ones instead.
11Surround yourself with supportive loved ones.
When you feel out of love, you got friends and family who can give you their undying love. It may be hard to forget, but it becomes bearable when you have your loved ones around you.
Spend time with your friends and family. Help your mom with gardening, you know she’s always been asking you to do it with her, but you’ve been so busy with your romantic relationships. There’s nothing like the love you receive from friends and family to heal a broken heart. By focusing on the people that truly matter, you’ll surely move on from that someone in no time.
12Meet new people and engage in different activities.
Once you’re done with the grieving phase, we highly suggest moving forward through new hobbies and new people. Sulking and staying at home isn’t going to help you forget at all. The more alone time you have, the more likely you’re gonna reminisce about your ex. So go out there, and let your ex stay in the past!
Sign up for new activities. Create new bonds. Attend a Zumba class, or pick up your watercolor brush again. Draw, or write, or sing. To finally forget someone that you love, you’re gonna need lots of new hobbies and new adventures to put your mind on. You never know, you may just be the next Taylor Swift.
13Don’t be quick to jump into a new relationship.
We’ve mentioned above that it’s great to meet new people as a way of moving on from that someone. However, we don’t suggest forming a relationship just yet.
Yes, we’re talking about rebound. While it’s tempting to have a new partner right after a breakup, it may not be the wisest of decisions.
If you’re just looking for someone to fill that hole your ex left (we mean the hole in your heart) then you’re just harming yourself and dragging another person into it. There’s a high chance you’re going to keep comparing your new lover to your ex. The result? You end up disappointed as you see all their differences. It’s also unfair to your rebound partner as they’re being used in the situation.
14Treat yourself to something nice.
Being heartbroken takes a toll on you so you’re probably not looking like your best self. Sometimes, the best way to move on from someone is to remember yourself.
Treat yourself to something nice to get back your glow. Why not visit your favorite salon and get a new haircut? Mani-pedi sesh? A massage or a facial? Buy those shoes you’ve been dying to get your hands (er, feet?) on to. You can be hurting on the inside, but at least you’re doing it in style. And hey, if you look good, feeling good inside becomes a lot easier to achieve too.
15Enjoy your freedom!
Instead of being miserable over your break up, you can look at it this way. You’re single again and every day you wake up with the chance of meeting that special someone for you. Being single gives you sooo much freedom. You can hit the clubs and party till 3 am without reporting to anyone. You can dance as wild as you like with anyone who catches your attention and it’s no big deal. Heck, you can even bring someone over to your apartment–no one’s going to call you out for it. Enjoy the single life!
When your heart is broken, it gets kinda hard to see the silver lining. Everywhere you look just seems to be full of gloom and doom.
Just in case you forget, let us remind you that you may be hurting, but recognize the fact that it’s not an eternal kind of pain. You’re battered and wounded now, and you may gain scars for it, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
With a reliable support system and lots of self-care, your pain is slowly going to subside. There’s beauty in looking forward to the future. Before you know it, you’ve finally learned to move on from that someone! Just take each day as it is, and soon, you’re ready to find love again.