Dear Dr. Sex,
Hello there! So… I’m a gay guy that has never tried anal sex before. I was always curious about it but didn’t have the guts to explore since my friends said that it’s unsafe and gross. They keep telling me that anal sex brings STDs and AIDS and that I’ll die in just a few months after getting infected.
They said that about 3 years ago, so I didn’t question their statements. Also, I was single back then when they were saying this, so I was like “Yeah, wouldn’t try it… I guess?”
But years have passed and I’m dating someone now. We’re gonna try having anal sex after the quarantine and I’m honestly hyped about it. My friends’ opinions about anal sex no longer bother me, but of course, I’m still kinda scared on how this would go since I’ll be the bottom.
What should I do beforehand? Is it that easy to get infected when engaging in anal sex? What should I do to have safe anal sex?
Thank you for sharing your story. I get that you still have doubts in your mind about anal sex, but just to be clear: Anal sex isn’t inherently unsafe. It’s like any other sexual activity, just with extra planning, preparation, and communication.
What your friends are telling you about anal sex is a blown out of proportion. Yes, it’s possible to get sexually-transmitted diseases from anal sex, but you can prevent that by being protected during the act.
Also, getting infected with STDs isn’t a death sentence. There are various medications are available now to keep them live a long and healthy life.
Now, going back to your main questions, there are several things that you need to consider when engaging in anal sex. Just follow these safe anal sex tips below and you’re good to go:
Communicate with your partner before the act. Make sure to get each other’s consent. Let him know that it’s going to be your first time as well as your inhibitions about anal sex. Talk about your preferred depth and pace, as well as verbal and non-verbal signals.
Clean, clean, clean. You don’t want bacterial infections from poo messing around your experience, right? With that, you need must take the bathroom, 3 to 5 hours before the act. Thoroughly clean your bum with soap and water, and even use an anal douche to further clean your rectum. Also, have wet wipes and towels ready during the playtime, just in case things get dirty (literally). As for your boyfriend, make sure he’s all cleaned up before the deed—his hands should be sanitized and his fingernails should be trimmed.
Relaaax. The anus has a muscle that’s called the anal sphincter. This part determines as the success of your experience—if this muscle is tensed, your partner would have a hard time to penetrate, leading to pain, bleeding, and other unnecessary mishaps. With that, make sure to be fully relaxed before doing the act. Remove those negative remarks from your friends and focus on the loving moment that you have with your boyfriend. Also, you can warm up your anus by inserting your/his finger, an anal bead, or a butt plug.
Use lots of lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t have natural lubrication. That’s why a bottle of water-based lube should be handy. If he penetrates you without lube, his penis can tear up the delicate tissues inside your anus, which may lead to pain and bleeding.
Use protection at all instances. When you’re now relaxed and ready for the main event, make sure your boyfriend is wearing a condom before diving in. If you’re letting him penetrate without a condom, you’ll have higher risks of getting sexually-transmitted diseases such as HIV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and herpes. In fact, according to this study, the bottoms (receivers) are 13 times most likely to become infected with HIV than the tops. So get protected, hun! As much as you trust your beau, your sexual health should be your main priority.
Sanitize your sex toys before using them. If you’re going to use adult toys such as anal beads, dildo, vibrator, or butt plug, ensure to have it spotless clean beforehand. If possible, soak it in alcohol or boiling water before drying it. By doing this, you’ll save yourself from Urinary Tract Infection and other bacterial infections.
And there you have it, some essential tips to engage in safe anal sex. And since this Month is STD Awareness Month, kindly help us bring awareness to sexually-transmitted diseases by sharing these tips with your trusted friends. Have a blissful and safe backdoor fun!