When people think of long distance relationships, the first thing that comes into their minds is that it will never work. They say that cheating is prevalent in this arrangement, or that you would put a lot of effort just to keep in touch. Some people also think that having an LDR is not worth it, since there’s a lack of emotional and sexual satisfaction in this setup. If you’re struggling to stay connected with your partner despite the distance, we’re here to help you out. For today’s blog, we will be sharing 30 long distance relationship tips! And for those that are starting out or maintaining a long distance relationship, don’t doubt it yet– there’s still hope.
Numerous studies have shown that LDRs can be a long-term thing, and even lead to marriages. According to this 2018 study from KIIROO, more than half of all long-distance relationships (58%) make it long term. The book Maintaining Long-Distance and Cross-Residential Relationships also stated that long-distance relationships are often more stable than geographically-close relationships.
30 Long Distance Relationship Tips
If you’re someone in a long distance relationship right now, don’t automatically think that it would end in a breakup, and instead make conscious efforts to connect and bond with your boo. Here are some tips to help you achieve that:
1Discuss expectations and ground rules first.
This is one of the long distance relationship tips that you should take note of. When starting an LDR setup, it’s important to discuss each other’s expectations, preferences, and boundaries.
Discuss the status of the relationship. Set up a proper schedule for virtual meetups. Make a simple plan for visits. Take note of the things you would do at each other’s special events. These are just some of the topics that you should be talking about as you go through the long-distance route.
By being clear from the very beginning of the relationship, you’ll have lesser conflicts in the future. This will also prevent you from leading each other to a heartbreaking path due to undisclosed expectations.
2Stick to a schedule.
It’s essential to have one-on-one time with your partner– it keeps the emotional connection going. Even though you can’t hang out as regular couples do, you can still have that bonding time through video calls.
But take note though, when having these relationship check-ins, it’s better to stick on a specific schedule. Find a time wherein you can spend at least an hour talking to each other. This ensures that you won’t be disturbing each other while working.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you should only call or message during the scheduled times. You can still surprise them with a video call– just ask them beforehand if they’re busy or not.
3Send short updates regularly to each other– but don’t go overboard!
This is one of the long distance relationship tips that’s often overlooked. Make sure that before you start this LDR thing, you’ve already established the appropriate amount of communication.
And when sending mini-updates about your day, don’t just send memes or unnecessary fluff. Yes, it’s fun to receive a cute cat meme from time to time, but what your partner wants from you most of the time is actual stories from your day. So if you’ve agreed to communicate daily, focus on the quality, not the frequency of the messages.
4Have virtual dates!
Who says long-distance couples can’t have dates? Thanks to technology, you can still go for virtual dates. You only need your phone or laptop for these activities. Here are some ideas to get you started.
- Have a virtual movie marathon. There are streaming platforms now that let you stream movies with someone online, such as the Netflix Party, Metastream, and Scener.
- Cook the same meal and eat it together. This is a fun and chill way to virtually bond with your partner. It makes you feel as if you’re just in the same room as with them.
- Take a virtual stroll in an online museum. Did you know that popular museums are now providing online tours? With this, have a video call, screen share these online museum tours, and marvel at the artworks together.
5Keep being intimate with each other.
One of the biggest hurdles in long distance relationships is that there’s a lack of physical intimacy. According to a study from KIIROO, 66% of their respondents say that the lack of physical intimacy is the hardest part of being in an LDR.
That’s why if you want to make your relationship work, you need to invest time and money in being emotionally intimate with your partner. And when it comes to sexual intimacy, you can still have those steamy nights virtually. Just invest in long-distance app-controlled sex toys. App-controlled sex toys and app vibrators let you control your partner’s love toy whenever, wherever.
6Use tons of dirty talking when you’re on the phone, sexting or video calling.
When you’re on a call with your long distance boo, dirty talking on the phone can help massively! Dirty talk during phone sex is very helpful because it helps build sexual tension and make sexcapades wilder and satisfying for you and your partner/s.You can even play with an app-controlled sex toy as you do so to steam it up even further!
7Remember that your partner isn’t perfect.
Some partners tend to idealize their relationship, and remember it as better than it actually isWhen you remember just the good things about your S.O., you might be disappointed when you get the chance to see each other again. Instead of building them up in your head to be a perfect partner, try to keep things in perspective.
8Don’t solely rely on technology.
Here’s one of the long distance relationship tips that’s usually overlooked. Though it’s more convenient to connect through mobile apps, it’s still necessary to try other channels to spice things up.
Ever considered snail-mailing your partner with a handwritten love letter? How about sending them a lovely care package? These methods may be traditional, but it brings a personal touch that you can’t get from virtual meetups.
9Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.
In addition to not just relying on chats and greeting each other everyday. Try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
10Make visits to each other if possible.
Though modern communication allows you to be emotionally connected with your partner despite the distance, things still hit differently in person. And considering the situations these days, it’s best to meet up during the best conditions, like when both of your are vaccinated and protocols in your areas are observed well. Having monthly or yearly meetups is a must. Not only you’ll get that *bonding time* that you both deserve, but you will also be able to fully know them.
Remember, people often show only a specific side online, so being able to communicate with them in person helps you determine if this person is the one or not.
11Stay honest with each other.
This isn’t just one of the long distance relationship tips– this is the golden rule for any type of relationship. Being honest with each other prevents conflicts and hidden resentments. This also solidifies your bond despite the distance, since you’re both open to each other. This also prevents your partner from becoming overly suspicious of your activities. It’s best, to be honest with your partner. Just tell them that you’ll be out drinking with friends, as well as reassuring them that nothing shady will happen in there.
12Enjoy your time apart.
Instead of focusing on the downsides of long distance relationships, why don’t you divert your focus on its beneficial side? Just imagine the free time that you will be having during this period. You can meet up with friends and family, start a personal project, or volunteer on advocacy groups. Also, more time for self-care activities!
13Be on the same page about how long this situation will last.
This is one of the long distance relationship tips that couples seemed to forget about. Though messaging and video calling apps make couples maintain LDRs a lot easier, being in this setup for years can be emotionally draining. And just imagine spending years of not being able to be physically there for your partner.
So with that, it’s important to have an end date on this setup. So plan out the moving in process. And know that setting out these plans gives you something to look forward to and establishes the relationship as a committed one.
14Make time to enjoy similar things.
Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about. This is a good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart.
15Don’t stress about the distance.
If both of you are within hours of each other, it’s not that hard to see each other in a set schedule or regularly. But don’t worry, here’s a little glimmer of hope for those who are in international relationships: A study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that couples with a further physical distance between them were more likely to have better outcomes. Even though it might get tough, it’s worth hanging in there!
16Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.
There is power in a memento. Be it a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance. We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not. This is what we all do — we try to store memories in physical things, in the hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to something that will help us remember. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.
17Learn to forget about your LDR once in a while.
It’s important to take days where you avoid anything that reminds you strongly of them. Doing this a couple days a week can loosen some of the deep attachment such that you miss them less without loving them less.You probably have a lot going on besides your relationship, so focus on those.
You would need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonely but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.
One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. So be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. And of course, appreciate the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.
19Recognize that a bad visit doesn’t mean you’re breaking up.
If you’re in a long-term LDR, it’s normal to have both great and not-so-great visits with your partner. Sometimes the pressure of seeing each other after such a long time can cause tension, even when you’re actually excited to get to catch up with your S.O. If you have a visit that doesn’t go as well as expected, don’t jump to conclusions about what it means for your relationship.
20Never make assumptions.
Overthinking can cause a lot of trouble, and you don’t want to cloud your judgment with assumptions. And a lot of people think that all long distance relationships are doomed to fail. This is definitely not true, but if you find yourself believing it, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, try to keep a positive mindset!
21Try giving thoughtful surprises.
Surprises can be anything from surprise visits to sending small gifts just for the heck of it. Long distance relationships suffer when one or both parties think they are being forgotten or ignored. Special treats say more than just a phone call or text because of the special attention and time you spent in coordinating it.
22Initiate a personal project.
If you were in a close-distance relationship and now you’re in a long-distance one, you’re going to find yourself with a lot more time on your hands. Whether it’s training for a marathon, brewing your own beer, or joining a bowling league, it’s a helpful distraction to have something you care about to invest your newfound free time in.
23Recognize that change is inevitable.
There is also research that shows that the most common reason for long-distance relationships not working out is that couples don’t usually plan for unexpected changes in the relationship. Furthermore, the amount of time you’re apart, your relative locations, and the circumstances of your separation might change over time. Be ready for this, and be willing to talk about it instead of shutting down when faced with an unexpected bump in the road.
24Reassure your partner.
One of the biggest challenges of long-distance relationships is the question of fidelity and commitment. While you do want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself first and foremost emotionally, it’s also a good idea to support your S.O. when you know they really need it. Give them extra assurance when they’re doubting whether it can work.
25Plan creative dates.
Distance is clearly an issue when planning dates.You just can’t plan to meet at a restaurant at 7:00 p.m. But that doesn’t mean your dates can’t be exciting. It’s all about coming up with out-of-the-box ways to keep you both engaged and connected. Maybe you can both play UNO online as you video chat with each other, or chat on discord as you play a game together! There are so many creative ways to take typically physical dates and pivot them so that they’re doable by phone or video.
26Don’t talk every single day.
This is one of the more underrated long distance relationship tips. You would probably think talking every single day when you’re in an LDR is a must. The truth is, experts say it’s really not necessary and might actually be harmful to your relationship. You don’t need to be in constant communication.
Simply keep some of the mystery alive! If you go a few days without talking to your S.O., you’ll have a more interesting conversation to look forward to in a few days. Plus, keeping tabs on another person and providing them with constant updates can get exhausting.
27Talk to your boo only when you have something to say.
To expound on the last tip, there’s no real reason you need to talk to your partner 24/7 just because you can’t see them. Think of it this way: If you lived together or just spent loads of time together, you’d have plenty of quiet moments. A long-distance relationship doesn’t really have those built in, but you want them in order to make the times you do talk (and see each other) more valuable. Plus, it can feel like a total chore if you feel like you have to call or text a few times a day. So, save those chats for when you actually want to talk. You’ll enjoy them much more.
28Take safe opportunities to travel together.
Traveling don’t always have to be week-long vacations across the world. Instead, you can plan shorter weekend vacations and explore a new city that’s a fair meeting point between the both of you.
Enjoyable, exciting communication occurs when partners discuss future travel plans and eventually on the vacation communicate affection through tender touch, caring eye contact, and warm words, leading to a much more gratifying, happier long distance relationship. This one of those long distance relationship tips that do require smart planning on both of your parts though, so keep in mind how these mini-vacays can also serve as bonding sessions for you and bae.
29Lean on your support system of loved ones.
Long distance relationships are hard, especially when you see other couples living their best lives and you fall into wishing your S.O. lived closer to you. But turning to family, friends, or online communities for support can make that stress a little more bearable. Whether it’s for advice or just a shoulder to learn on. And connecting with your support system can help you feel better about the more difficult parts of being in a LDR.
30Know that LDRs are actually normal.
Research shows that 75 percent of all engaged couples have been in a long distance relationship at some point. When put in perspective, being in an LDR feels like a lot less of a big deal. Know that you are not along in this struggle, and if others can make it work, so can you.
Sleek Toys With Long Distance Control That You Can Enjoy With Your Boo!
Long distance relationships, as with relationships in general, requires conscious effort. Plus, you can’t just passively answer some messages and call it a day. So if you want your LDR to work, you need to be there emotionally for your partner and try some of the long distance relationship tips above. Do you want more of these guides? Check out more of our relationship articles here! You can also inquire about some sex-ed topics through our resident Dr. Sex— she’ll be glad to help you out!