What is A Real Friend: Key Signs to Look Out For

So what is a real friend? Well, they may vary per person, but there are certain standards that we should keep a keen eye on. That way, we invest in the right people and make use of our time and efforts wisely.

Let’s get into this fun article and learn what signs of a real friend are down below.

1 They’re honest.

Honesty from a real friend can be soft or tough. Soft in a sense that they may love your outfit for the day or the perfume you’re wearing. As for tough, it’s how they’re able to call you out when you’re not acting right or headed towards the wrong path. For example, you’re thinking of texting back someone who purposely stood you up on a date and wants a second chance. 

Like bestie, where are your limits?! They may even snatch your phone while telling you that there are other people out there who are better for you because they simply want what’s best for you.

2 They help you stay accountable.

Quite in line with the previous tip, but a real friend would check up on you to see if you’re keeping your end of the bargain. Like let’s say you make a promise to lessen your caffeine intake from 3 glasses a day to 1. They can be present in person or send you an occasional message to check in with you. 

“Did you limit your coffee drinks to one, bestie?” They can sound like this.

To the best of your abilities, you’d want to uphold your promise so as not to disappoint them. But at the same time, you teach yourself to build a strong sense of self-trust.

Regardless of the result, they got your back and may even offer to help you get back on track when you need it.

3 They understand your ghosting phases.

In this current digital age, it’s easy to send and receive messages from numerous people and engage in conversations with them. But just because that can be a potential outcome doesn’t always mean we cave into them all time. The stimulation from this current reality alongside the overall busyness of life can overwhelm you, making it difficult to respond or follow up with anything. 

When a real friend notices this, they don’t jump to conclusions right away. Instead, they privately check in on you to get a better idea of what’s going on. It’s quite possible that you’re struggling and rather keep to yourself, so they want to know how you’re doing.

Then in other cases, that’s not the situation with you. Regardless, they’re okay to keep things silent first, especially when life can be unpredictable.

4 Both of you pick up where you last left off, regardless of time.

1 week or 5 years later, a real friend would treat you as if time or distance never separated both of you. The air is comfortable and fun when you’re with them, even more when there are lots to talk about.

5 They have your back when you’re not together.

Imagine someone close to you in an event when someone brings you up and talks about you in an ill-mannered way. Instead of falling trap to those words and jumping the bandwagon when other people start doing the same, best believe they’ll protect you. And even fend for you when they do such because they don’t tolerate such bad behavior against you.

Now that, bestie, is a real friend.

6 The two of you always find humor in any situation you’re in.

Especially during challenging times, you both find ways to make light of the situation. Moreover, real (and even belly-aching) laughter is the best medicine and helps boost your mood. So you can both be stuck in traffic on your way to an important event and still feel happy, even after acknowledging your stress. Since it’s a situation you can’t control, you can control how you feel in the moment. And both of you choose to be happy.

7 They can sense if you’re not feeling your best.

A real friend would just know and sense if you’re feeling off about something without needing to exchange any words. Sometimes, your actions (subtle or loud) would be enough to read you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends either; if something feels off with you, then it mostly likely is. And so they reach out to you and support you in the various ways you need.

For example, you’re at a party when you see someone who hurt you really good. Just your silence and shock would be enough for a real friend to excuse you outside for air, hand you some water, and/or even leave the event as a whole.

8 They don’t hold grudges against you.

Friendships experience rocky times, which can make or break them. Real friends let them strengthen their friendship and use them as learning lessons. Regardless of how bad or painful it was, they act as fuel to do better. With that being said, a real friend wouldn’t use a challenging time (e.g., a misunderstanding over plans) against you to establish more power over you when you get into a disagreement. Even more if said challenging time isn’t related to your current predicament.

Moreover, a real friend may remember certain challenging times, but they’d never weaponize it to get the upper hand.

9 They argue fairly.

As mentioned earlier, friendships face challenges as time progresses. So when one arises, they wait for you to express everything that’s in your chest. They wouldn’t talk over you or try to put you in your place for the sake of power. Instead, they process what you’re feeling and understand you. Then after they speak, both of you would come up with solutions to fix the situation. Besides, trying to “win” is not worth the expense of your friendship.

10 They know your home very well.

Like literally, they can walk straight up the pantry, lounge on your couch, and watch TV without a proper hello (and you’re okay with that!) Because chances are you’ll curl up right beside them and do a whole commentary on whatever’s on the screen.

11 They serve as your sounding board when you vent.

When life gets too crazy, you can rely on them to be there for you to just let it out the moment you hit them up. Though you also won’t be mad if they weren’t present right away because you know they got their own thing going on. 

But back to the main point, a real friend would willingly listen to you with open ears and without interruption on their end. They’re patient as well as you ramble on and on until every ounce of your strong emotions are out. They value you so much that they leave space for you, fully okay with being bombarded by your wild flurry of emotions. Because rather than absorbing and internalizing them, they bounce those emotions away like they’re wearing a shield protecting themselves. 

And the real cherry on top here is that they hold no judgment towards you and would only give advice when you ask for it. Because at that moment, you’re more okay with evicting those emotions elsewhere.

12 They’re there for you no matter what.

No need to ask them even. If you’re headed to a cafe to work, they go “Need some company? I could go for a good cup of coffee too.” Or if you’re going to an important event, they respond, “You’re gonna do great! I’ll send over something to congratulate you no matter the response.” There can be some special acts of service that can be added here, but regardless, you can rely on them to support and uplift you.

13 They make you feel comfortable enough to be yourself.

We’re talking about your true, authentic self! No facade, no lies. All your weirdness and quirkiness are free to run around them, and they appreciate those aspects (and the rest of you that’s there.)

14 Having occasional silences with them is a-okay.

Talking non-stop without breaks in-between is unrealistic. You’re bound to get drained of energy during it. With acquaintances, you try to keep your energy high so things don’t feel awkward. But with a real friend, you feel more at ease to keep quiet. Whether they’re sitting or standing beside you, just their silent presence helps you recharge and even makes you feel safe.

15 They’re down to try anything with you.

Whether it’s something new or old, a true friend keeps an open mind when they want to share an experience with you. Whatever it is, it’ll just encourage deeper bonding and understanding with one another. Simultaneously, they also have their own set of boundaries, which you respect and vice versa.

Takeaway

And that’s a wrap on our guide on real friends 101! We hope that this guide helps refine your list of friendship standards and allows you to reassess your current friendships. And at the same time, we hope you have a more discerning and eager lens to build better quality friendships. Good luck!

For more relationship or culture-related guides, head on over to the Lauvblog here.