Spoiler Alert: This article contains SPOILERS for the third season of Netflix’s Sex Education. If you haven’t watched the recent episodes, please refrain from proceeding. You may check out the lessons from seasons one and two here.
Naked runner. Folly, the commitment goat. Sex king. Vulva cupcakes. Deviant alien stories. Stage humiliation. Abstinence-fueled headmaster. Trippy field trip. Flying feces. The third season of Netflix’s Sex Education is filled with relatable storylines and some uh… questionable situations. But despite the quirky yet relatable plotlines, this season has discussed important issues surrounding sex, self-worth, and relationships.
For this guide, we will discuss fifteen of the most vital sex and life lessons that we’ve learned from binge-watching the show. And as we’ve mentioned earlier, this will be a spoiler-filled article! If you haven’t watched the season yet, we recommend skipping this guide and checking our other culture-related articles instead.
1Your penis size doesn’t equate to your bedroom skills.
The season began with its raunchiest opening yet— people are getting it on left and right, humping the night away like rabbits. One of the people involved in this opening is a Moordale student named Dex who struggles to please his girlfriend. He asked her if her exes could make her cum, and she casually listed all of the exes who did.
Distraught by his girlfriend’s claim, Dex sought out the infamous broken-down bathroom at the school to get some advice. Now, Otis and Maeve are no longer running the clinic, so some random student named Kyle started his own clinic, calling himself the “Sex King.” Kyle then asks Dex about his penis size, as he believes that penis size determines a man’s bedroom skills. The bigger, the better.
However, this advice didn’t help Dex at all and even made him so anxious about his penis that he ended up running at the school grounds naked, carrying Aimee and Steve’s pet goat, Folley. Dex ended up meeting with Otis, Maeve, and Kyle, on which Otis gave resounding advice.
“Penis size isn’t important.”
It has been a common misconception that bigger dicks mean better sexcapades. With the exaggerated views of penises on erotic videos and pop culture references putting bigger penises at the pedestal, most men are insecure with the size, shape, and girth of their penises.
However, penis size is actually unrelated to one’s bedroom skills. Being good in bed consists of several traits: being creative, intuitive, open-minded, passionate, and loving. People who are great at sex are also responsible for their sexperiences and always follow safe sex practices. So for those thinking that penis size is everything when it comes to sexual intercourse, stop thinking about this notion and instead switch things up to sexually please your partner.
2Women experience pleasure more with clitoral stimulation.
During the same conversation between Maeve, Otis, Dex, and Kyle, another important sex lesson has been brought up. Maeve mentioned that maybe Dex’s girlfriend doesn’t orgasm with vaginal penetration alone, and he must start focusing on other areas, such as the clitoris.
For those unfamiliar with the clitoris, it’s a small nub of flesh located at the upper part of the vulva. It has about 8000 nerve endings, making it the pleasure center of the female body. This is why neglecting this area during sex would be a tragedy, as this area is a surefire way to send pulsating sensations to your partner.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you can’t orgasm during penetration; you’ll still do as the vagina has pleasure points such as the g-spot, a-spot, and cervix. It’s just that it may take a few practices and adjustments to hit those specific sweet spots, unlike the clitoris, which you can simply rub for pleasure.
3Orgasm shouldn’t always be the goal in sex.
In the same conversation, Maeve advised Dex not to focus on the orgasm but instead enjoy the passionate sex he shares with his girlfriend.
This is one of the lessons from Netflix’s Sex Education that we should all take note of. Most sex-positive and sex education blogs, including us, have been emphasizing the greatness of an orgasm. We’ve been sharing the benefits and feel-good sensations that you can get from it.
However, orgasms shouldn’t always be the goal during the deed. Focusing on it takes away the enjoyment of the whole thing. Using orgasm as the key metric on how good the sex is will also make some people anxious, as they feel like a failure for not being able to make their partners or themselves come. This is why when doing the deed, your boo, just be in the moment. Whether orgasms will happen or not, you’ll still have an enjoyable experience with your partner.
4Most pornography videos are meant for entertainment, not as sex ed.
Another topic discussed in the third season of Netflix’s Sex Education is how pornography shouldn’t be used as a guide about actual sex. It didn’t have a full subplot dedicated to the topic. Still, it was briefly touched upon when Kyle, the student who decided to be the replacement “doctor” for Otis and Maeve’s sex clinic, was using erotic videos as the basis for his lessons. Lessons such as “pubes are overrated” are all over his notebook. When Otis found about it, he immediately asked Kyle to end the sex king gig, as what he has been telling students is inaccurate and unhelpful.
Here’s the thing, erotic videos from ethical production houses can be entertaining. They sure showcase the fun and kinky aspects of sex, but they don’t reflect sex realistically.
Not everyone can have penetrative sex for thirty minutes straight. Not every couple can simultaneously orgasm together. The couples you see in these videos have a full production crew behind them, helping these actors fulfill a certain scenario within a script. Sex can be an entirely different experience per individual. You can use erotic videos as a simple guide to see the basics of sex, but never use it as a full-on sex guide.
5Talking about your feelings is the best way to process them.
Another subplot discussed throughout the third season of Netflix’s Sex Education is Adam’s journey to self-discovery. After admitting that his true feelings to Eric during the school play, Adam has been ridiculed by other students for being bisexual. Not knowing how to process his feelings, he just started hitting other people and even asked his friend Ola to “smash some shit.”
However, Ola suggested that hitting things or people isn’t the best way to deal with feelings— talking does. She even shared her own experience, wherein she had been hitting a pillow for eight months ever since her mom died. However, what truly helped her was talking to her therapist and discussing her bottled-up feelings.
This particular lesson came up multiple times in the season. Aside from Adam, Jakob and Aimee are also having issues communicating their feelings. Jakob has trust issues because of his former wife, and Aimee is still processing the bus assault. They then gradually worked through these issues by talking to a therapist.
Talking about your feelings is the best way to process them. It helps you reflect upon the situation and figure out the possible path to healing. This is why for people who are currently going through something, a simple call from a loved one can help.
If you’re not ready to discuss your problem with friends and family, a mental health professional, such as a counselor or therapist, is the best person to go to. Not only that they’ll give you a non-bias perspective on what you’re going through, but you’ll also get possible options for the healing process.
6Don’t be afraid to express your sexual preferences.
One of the subplots in the second episode is Eric and Adam taking their relationship to the next level. Eric is soooo ready to do the deed, but Adam has some issues expressing his desires. As he couldn’t communicate to Eric properly about what he wants, he just kept on postponing their first-ever sex. This has led to conflict between him and Eric, who is frustrated at not making love with his partner.
But after talking to Otis, Adam found a way to communicate his desires and feelings— by turning his back on the person he’s talking to. This has helped him express his desires to Eric, saying, “I want you to put your dick in me.” They ended up having sex for the first time that night.
We know that it can be nerve-wracking to discuss your sexual preferences with your partner, especially if you haven’t done the deed yet. You’re afraid to be seen as “weird” by your own partner, which is normal to feel since we all want to put our best selves forward for our romantic partners.
However, not expressing what you want in sex can only lead to conflicts and unsatisfying sexperiences. Sex is supposed to be enjoyed by two people, so you shouldn’t be pressured to conform to your partner’s desires and express what you want to feel and see during the deed.
7Don’t change yourself just to fit in with your partner’s preferences.
One of the highlights of the third season of Netflix’s Sex Education is Otis and Ruby’s not-so-casual relationship. Since Ruby is the most popular girl in school, she wanted Otis to fit in with her group.
She then started asking him to change his outfit and get rid of his mustache. She even started calling him “OT” because it sounds cooler. Eventually, Otis gets tired of Ruby’s controlling behavior and tells her that if she still wants to continue having a relationship with him, she should let him wear what he wants. He also wanted a more meaningful connection with her, to which Ruby agrees.
What we love about this subplot is it emphasizes the good ‘ol lesson “never change yourself just for someone else.”
One of the common relationship mistakes that we’ve probably made is subtly changing ourselves just to please our partner. Some may have dropped hobbies that their partners disliked, while others may have changed their style to fit their preferences.
Some might say that relationships will inspire you to make changes, but there’s a difference between going out of your comfort zone and completely changing yourself for your partner. You shouldn’t let other people change your style and other important aspects of your identity.
8All vulvas are unique.
Another highlight in this season is Aimee’s discovery about vulvas. During her counseling session with Otis’ mom, Jean, she saw an educational model of a vulva in her office. As she inspected the model, she told Jean that her vulva didn’t look like the model. “Um, my vagina doesn’t look like this – one of my lip bits is longer than the other.”
Jean clarified that it’s just a model and what she’s seeing is a vulva, not a vagina. She also explained the different parts of the vulva, how every woman’s vulva is unique and recommended a website that’ll help Aimee learn more about it. Aimee later checked the website, www.all-vulvas-are-beautiful.com, and realized that the appearance of her vulva was normal all along. She then started spreading the message that “all vulvas are beautiful and unique” by giving the students of Moordale some vulva cupcakes.
Same with the “orgasm shouldn’t always be the goal,” this is one of the lessons from the third season of Netflix’s Sex Education that we should all remember.
Due to the visuals presented on erotic videos and the lack of information surrounding female genitals, most women have been insecure about their vulvas. If it doesn’t look as plump and tight as the ones on porn or if there’s some discoloration on the area, they see it as “abnormal” or “ugly.”
However, that’s not necessarily the case, as all vulvas are uniquely beautiful! There’s no standard of what it’s supposed to look like. So for our female readers who are embarrassed with their genitals, you may want to check the mentioned website and see the beauty of their vulvas!
9Grief hits people in different ways.
Cynthia and Jeffrey’s story is some of the notable side storylines for the third season of Netflix’s sex education. It started with a comedic yet intense trailer sex between the couple. However, this scene ended with a tragedy as their cat Jonathan got killed because of the shaky trailer. Cynthia became hornier than ever, while Jeffrey became less enthusiastic about their sexual activities. However, Jeffrey hadn’t been able to say no to his partner, so the intense trailer sexcapades continued.
It just so happens that Jeffrey is the weed dealer of Ruby’s dad, so Jeffrey was able to talk to Otis and tell him his concerns about Cynthia and his inability to enjoy her sensual invites. Otis then explained that his loss of libido is probably connected to the death of their cat, which they’ve treated as their son. Otis also explained that maybe Cynthia is coping with the tragedy with sex and using it to escape the situation.
Losing someone you love can evoke different forms of coping mechanisms in people. Some may distract themselves with food, sex, video games, and other forms of coping mechanisms. Grief can also affect one’s libido, such as in Jeffrey’s case.
So if you’ve just lost someone you love, don’t feel guilty for having different sexual responses during this period. The same goes with your partner. If you know that they’re going through something and not in the mood for the sex, give them some time to process the tragedy and heal from it.
Now, if your partner starts doing unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as excessive sex or masturbation, binge eating, and related activities, then you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with them. You can also get help from a therapist or counselor.
10HIV isn’t a death sentence.
Another important lesson discussed in the third episode of Netflix’s Sex Education is how HIV isn’t a death sentence. In the fourth episode, Anwar consulted a sexual health professional regarding his swollen face; he believed it was caused by a sexually transmitted infection.
The medical professional asked Anwar if he was using a condom. He replied, “Every film I’ve seen with a gay person ends with them having sex and dying of AIDS. I don’t want to die, so yeah, I’m using a condom.”
The nurse then assured Anwar that he’s less likely to contract the virus as long as he’s practicing safe sex. She also explained that there are now treatment options for HIV-positive people, and they can now live a long and healthy life. Continuous use of medications can also make the virus undetectable, which means an HIV-positive can longer transfer it from another person.
This is another vital lesson to note, as there is a stigma surrounding people with HIV. People believe that having HIV means that your life is over. However, that’s not necessarily the case as there are now advanced treatments for this condition.
11You can experience pleasure without touching one’s genitals.
We know most of you hate Issac; him deleting the message will always be one of the most villainous acts on the show, especially for Motis shippers. However, his intimate moment with Maeve shows an important lesson about sex and intimacy— you can experience pleasure without touching one’s genitals.
You see, our bodies are filled with a plethora of pleasure points. We recommend discovering these erogenous zones while touching yourself or having sex with your partner. You might be surprised with areas that can evoke your own or your partner’s arousal.
12Roleplaying fantasies should be enjoyed by both parties.
Another notable subplot in this season happened during episode five. Viv is trying to sext her partner during their field trip. She ends up getting alarmed with her boyfriend’s messages about her vagina being called a “lady flower” and his penis being called a “sheath.” She then tried putting up with his roleplaying sexts but couldn’t immerse herself in the fantasy. They ended up compromising, as she told him that she’s interested in nipple play stuff.
If you’re in a similar situation, we know that you simply want to make your partner happy by fulfilling their sexual fantasies. But if their kink or fantasy is uncomfortable for you, please speak up.
Roleplaying and other kinky activities should be enjoyed by two parties. Don’t just say yes and do it half-heartedly. Your partner can also sense the disinterest, and you may end up in a serious conflict because of it. So please, communicate with your partner and learn to establish your boundaries.
13Sexual assault will never be the victim’s fault.
Another notable scene in the third season of Netflix’s Sex Education is Aimee’s conversation with Jean. Aimee was contemplating about the bus assault that happened in season two, thinking that maybe the reason she got assaulted was because of her people-pleaser attitude; maybe the way she dressed that day and the way she smiled triggered the man to harass her.
Jean then reminds her that it’s not her fault that she got assaulted. Her friendly attitude isn’t the reason why the assaulter harassed her on the bus. It’s because that man is a horrible individual.
Because of rape culture, which is still prevalent in our society today, most victims of sexual assault think that it’s their fault for getting violated— that maybe the way they dressed or acted has triggered the person to assault them. This isn’t true. If you’re someone who got harassed, whether, with a stranger or someone you know, it’s not your fault. It will never be your fault.
14Never feel shame for your personal identity.
Another important lesson discussed in the third season of Netflix’s Sex Education is how you shouldn’t feel shame for being yourself. We’ve seen this lesson emphasized with Adam and Lily’s subplots. Adam was at first ashamed of being bisexual but eventually accepted it. He then stopped being affected by other people’s remarks about his sexuality.
As for Lily, she was always seen as the “weird one” for writing erotica involving aliens and galaxy-related themes. She planned to end this “phase” but eventually realized that her identity didn’t have to be accepted by anyone.
Here’s the thing, not everyone will like your personality nor sexual orientation. There’s still a bunch of close-minded peeps who will try and tear you down for expressing your true self. So instead of dwelling on other opinions about your life, just ignore these strangers and focus on your own path.
15Stand up for yourself and cut toxic people out of your life.
One of the notable subplots on this season is the growth of the former headmaster of Moordale (and Adam’s father), Michael. He had nowhere to go, and no school wasn’t taking him because of the school’s scandals.
He then talked to Jean which turned into a therapy session, admitting that his father and brother used to bully him a lot and had never felt Joy in his life. After getting advice from Jean, he eventually stood up for himself and cut his brother out of his life.
As much as we want to be around with them, the best way to let go of toxicity is to cut ties with toxic people. This includes unsupportive people, friends with bullying tendencies, etc. Whether they’re a long-time friend or a family member, you need to respect your boundaries and love yourself enough to leave.
And that concludes the important lessons from the third season of Netflix’s Sex Education! Which of these lessons has resonated with you the most? Share us your thoughts about the current season by linking this article on your social media platforms. As for other pop culture guides, check out this page here.