How to Use a Strap On Dildo: Guide for Newbies
If you think about strap on dildos, the first thing that will probably enter your mind is lesbian porn. The actress is wearing the harness and enjoying her pretend penis penetrating the other girl. It’s hot and totally arousing to watch!
But even outside porn, many people enjoy using strap ons for sex play. In fact, even if you’re straight but are interested in trying it out, you will enjoy yourself. Strap on play can be fun for anyone, lesbian or not, as it adds a certain kink and a new level of intimacy between the couples.
What is a Strap On Dildo?
A strap on dildo is a sex toy ensemble that includes a harness and a dildo that fits into it. The harness can be worn around the waist or hips, while the dildo is a phallic-shaped toy used for vaginal or anal penetration.
This works best for lesbians as it gives them penises that they can use for penetrative sex. However, some men are using strap on dongs if there are conditions that prevent them from using their penises.
These are the common sexual activities where strap on dildos are involved:
- Lesbian Play – The wearer would use a strap to penetrate their partner’s vagina or anus.
- Pegging – A sexual act where the female partner penetrates the male partner’s ass.
- Threesome – If the group consists of two females and one male, and one female partner wants to experience double penetration, the other woman can use a strap on dildo to accommodate the other woman’s request.
Types of Strap On Harness
Strap on harnesses come in different forms. If you want a harness that works on regular dongs, won’t slip off during rough plays, or can accommodate your size, there’s something that could match that. Learn more about it below.
1Standard or “O-Ring” Strap On Harness
This type features a stainless steel or silicone ring where the dildo is inserted. The harness can come in different forms, such as jockstrap (straps around the waist and over each butt cheek), thongs, or underwear.
This only works with dildos with a suction cup base; the o-ring is usually adjustable, so it can work with slim and girthy dongs.
How to Attach the Dildo:
- Insert the dildo through an o-ring ring holder located at the front of the harness.
- Wear the dildo and make the necessary adjustments. Tighten any additional straps or buckles to secure the dildo in place.
You can also refer to this video for an in-depth guide on how to insert the dildo and adjust the straps.
2Vac-U-Lock Harness
If you want a harness that would work best for wild and rough plays, you can count on this type. Invented by Doc Johnson, it features a Vac-U-Lock, a small plug that will be inserted into the dildo. Once the dildo is attached to the said plug, it will create a vacuum to secure the dildo. You can then wear the harness like a jockstrap or undies, then proceed with the deed.
It offers a strong hold between the harness and the dildo, but you’ll need dildos with holes at the base.
How to Attach the Dildo:
- Locate the plug on the harness, specifically designed to fit into the base of the Vac-U-Lock dildo.
- Insert the plug into the base of the Vac-U-Lock dildo, then you’re ready to play!
3Strapless Harness
You might be thinking… “A strap on without straps? How does that work?”
It’s pretty simple, actually. This type comes with two insertable dildos. The first is a standard-sized shaft, while the other is a small shaft with a bulbous shape. The giver will insert the small shaft in their vagina and rely on their pelvic floor to keep it in. This works only for vagina-having folks.
How to Attach the Dildo:
- Insert the shorter, bulbous end of the strapless strap into your vagina. Use your pelvic muscles to keep them attached.
- Proceed with the deed. Just be mindful of the shaft during sex, as it may slide off and ruin the vibe.
Strap On Play Techniques
Some of you, especially women without experience being the giver in penetrative sex, may wonder how “thrusting” works.
Don’t worry! It will take some time to get used to it. When you practice wearing it, you will figure out how tight it should be to be comfortable enough for you. You will also learn how to control the extra appendage and in time, master it. We’ve laid down some basic strap on dildo techniques you could try on your next deed.
1Clit Rub
If your partner has a vulva, we recommend starting the deed by getting her ready for penetration. Do it by gently rubbing her clitoris with the dildo’s tip. Hold the shaft, press the tip to the clitoral nub, and move it up and down.
2Quick & Shallow Thrusts
Quickly push the dildo in and out of your partner’s vagina or anus, but don’t fully go in. Just insert about 1-2 inches of the dildo.
3Inch by Inch Thrusting
Start with shallow thrusts which gradually gets deeper. Keep the same pace throughout the play. For this one, you’ll need great control to your hips, so we recommend practicing first.
4Upward Curve
This one works best if your partner is into g-spot stimulation. Start with your hips down, then make a U-shape motion as you insert the dildo. It’ll gently pressure your partner’s anterior vaginal wall, where the g-spot is located.
Sold Out
5Rowdy Rocking
Instead of the typical in-and-out motion, you’ll move your hips up and down while thrusting your partner. It delivers a new sensation to your partner and is a fun way to switch things up during the deed.
6Hip Thrust
For this one, your body will be steady as you guide your partner’s hips into the strap on dildo. Whether you want to try something new or your partner prefers to do the moving, this method aims to satisfy.
Best Strap On Sex Positions
A strap on is technically another penis, so any penetrative sex position that involves a penis can work with a strap on dildo. Don’t be afraid of exploring and experimenting with different positions to make the most of your strap on dildo experience. Note: All of the instructions are written from the giver’s point of view.
1Missionary
One of the most basic and easiest positions to try for strap on sex. If you’re a beginner, you might as well go for the basics before moving to the more advanced levels.
How to do it:
- Step 1: You must kneel comfortably between your partner’s legs.
- Step 2: Your partner must lie down on their back.
- Step 3: Once positioned, start thrusting, grinding your hips as you insert the strap on dildo into their vagina or anus. For deeper reach, add a pillow underneath your partner’s bum.
2Cowgirl
Time for a rowdy rodeo! If you’re still new to thrusting, you can opt for this position since your partner would do most of the grinding and bouncing.
How to do it:
- Step 1: You’ll lie on your back while your partner takes charge. They must sit on top of you, with their crotch right on top of the strap on dildo.
- Step 2: Once your partner’s ready, they can push their vagina or anus into the dong, then move their hips back and forth.
3Spooning
Want something more intimate? You can count on this classic move.
How to do it:
- Step 1: You and your partner will be lying on the side, facing the same direction.
- Step 2: Positioning behind your partner, give them a nice back hug while they move their legs apart to give you access to their anus or vagina.
- Step 3: Ready for orgasmic penetration? Push the strapped dildo into their genitals, and start moving it back and forth. Since you have close contact with your boo, you can use your hands and lips to please their other erogenous zones, such as their breasts and neck.
4Doggy Style
This one is another easy-to-do position for beginners using dildos for strap on sex, as it allows easy penetration and thrusting.
How to do it:
- Step 1: Your partner will be on all fours, facing away from you.
- Step 2: You will position yourself behind them, kneeling down.
- Step 3: Once positioned, you will penetrate them from behind. You can also incorporate soft BDSM by spanking the bum of the receiver as you’re letting loose on the play.
5Bend Over
Don’t get too traditional and boring by using the bed only. You can go wild with a strap on dildo in the house! Lean over the bed, the sofa, the table, and even the washer! As long as it’s workable, mix things up, and don’t be afraid to explore.
How to do it:
- Step 1: Have your partner bend over a table or counter while you’re positioned behind them.
- Step 2: Gently push the dildo into them, increasing the thrusting pace gradually.
Safety Tips
As you’ve learned the different techniques and tricks when it comes to strap on play, you’re now ready for some sizzling action! But before you order your strap on dildo, you need to take note of these tips to ensure a fun and comfortable sexperience.
1Communicate to your partner about wanting to use a strap on.
Whether you’re getting pegged or your partner, consent is important to establish boundaries and mutual trust in both parties. Ask your partner if they’re okay with using a strap on dildo for your bedroom play. Nobody must be forced or guilt-tripped into doing anything they don’t want to do.
2Get your preferred strap on dildo from a trusted store.
When selecting the correct dildo for your and your partner’s needs, size matters, as well as the type of dildo you want to use. If you’re not getting penetrated, it’s important to ask your partner what they prefer. Maybe they prefer a huge dildo, or they prefer a dildo that’s out of their wildest imagination. Check in on them what they like.
It’s also important to consider what harness you’ll be getting. If you both like rough, go with Vac-U-Lock types. But if you have tons of suction dildos at home, it’s best to get an o-ring harness and use the dongs you already own— you’ll save some money by doing this. If you want something out of the box, a strapless type may do the trick.
When it comes to shopping, it’s best to get your first strap on harness and dildo from a shop you can trust. Go for highly recommended stores, as you can assure that their toys are made with the finest materials. Remember that the vagina and anus are incredibly sensitive, so invest in the right toys to ensure fun, safe, and comfortable play.
3Familiarize yourself with the strap-on before the deed.
One of the common mistakes that people make when using a strap-on is that they only wear it right before having sex. This could result in the wearer feeling conscious and unsure of how to thrust it correctly, as well as being unable to adjust the harness so that the fit is snug and tight.
This is why, once you’ve received your strap-on, you should wear it a few times. You don’t have to do anything sexual yet; get a feel for the harness and make sure all the straps, clips, and attachments are in the right places and properly connected. If something feels off, you can easily reach out to the store you bought it from and request a replacement.
4Smoothen the glide with lubricants.
If you want to use your strap on dildo for penetration, use lots of lube. This ensures that your partner won’t get hurt when you’re thrusting inside. Make sure your partner knows to tell you to stop and apply more lube anytime they need you.
As for the type of lube that you can use, you can go with water-based, silicone-based, or hybrid-based lubricants. However, keep in mind that silicone lubes don’t work with silicone dildos; there would be an adverse reaction at the surface of the toy, making it susceptible to bacteria.
You can also wrap the dildo with a pre-lubricated condom if you want an easier cleanup or plan to share the dildo with your partner.
5Regularly check in with your partner throughout the deed.
Ask your partner for feedback on angles and depth. As with any sexual activity, talk about what feels good and what doesn’t. Ask your partner how they want it. Do they want it deeper, faster, or slower? Listen and pay attention to what they say. Angle your dildo upwards, not back towards her spine. More than this, let your partner guide you to how they want to take it.
6Clean the toy before and after use.
Make sure to clean your gear as soon as possible. For the dildo, you can use a gentle cleaner and water or a sex toy cleaner. As for the straps, you’ll need to wash them with detergent or mild soap, then dry them out. You can also check the manufacturer’s instructions for the best cleaning method.
7Level up your thrust game with a little practice.
Feel a bit awkward thrusting on your first few tries? Don’t worry! Like any skill, you can’t start out as a master. All it takes is a little practice.
Put on the strap-on, then grab a stack of pillows (with the top one folded) or roll up a towel with a small gap in the middle, as this will serve as your practice hole. If you’ve got the budget, or if your partner owns a Fleshlight, that can work too.
Lauvette’s Top Strap On Picks
Unsure with what to get for your strap on plays? We’ve lined up some of the best strap on sets, strap harnesses, and strap on dildos in the shop. Check them out!
Frequently Asked Questions
As you’ve learned the benefits and ways to use a strap on dildo, you’re most likely ready to dive into the strap on fun. However, if you still have questions about this pleasure toy, we got covered. We’ve answered some of the frequently asked questions about straps on dildos.
1Is it comfortable to wear a strap on harness?
You’ll feel comfortable wearing it if you use the appropriate size. Most strap on harnesses are equipped with multiple buckles and straps, ensuring that the dildo is securely attached to your body.
2What are the factors to consider when getting a strap on harness?
When purchasing your strap on harness, you need to consider the material. Go for a material that’s easy to clean and machine-washable. Also, consider if it works with most dildo types, so you can maximize the use of your strap on.
3What are the factors to consider when buying a dildo for your strap on harness?
Consider the material of the dildo. Since you’re inserting this adult toy in your own or your partner’s genitals, you need to choose non-porous materials, such as silicone, glass, stainless steel, pyrex, or ABS plastics. This will ensure that bacteria wouldn’t be trapped inside the toy.
4How should I talk to my partner in terms of pegging?
Every individual has a different communication style. Some prefer to not be direct, while others prefer the blunt approach. Just be honest with your partner and explain why you want to try strap on dildos. If they’re hesitant, give them time to learn about it. Don’t pressure them to say yes.
5We tried doing it and did not enjoy it as much. What should we do?
Practice makes perfect, sweetie. It’s normal if you don’t like it for the first time since you’re adjusting to the toy and the whole shebang around it. We suggest trying it again, and if it isn’t your cup of tea, indulge in other sexual activities.
6Can strap-on dildos be used by any gender?
Yes! Whatever your gender identity is, a strap on dildo can bring some fun to your sexual plays.
7Can strap-on dildos be used for solo play?
Yes. Remove the harness and use your hands to thrust the toy into your vagina or anus. If the dildo comes with a suction base, the better! Stick to the tiled surface for hands-free fun.
8Is using a strap-on dildo pleasurable for the wearer as well?
If you love seeing your partner moan with pleasure, this love toy will satisfy you. However, if you want to feel actual stimulation, then you should get a strapless strap on dildo, as most models come with a curved tip or vibrations, sending orgasmic sensations during the deed.
Takeaway
Sometimes strap on sex can be an emotional experience for both partners. You might feel vulnerable wearing a strap on dildo, or your partner might feel scared trying it out for the first time. If anything does come up for you, let it come up.
The most important thing, as with other sexual activities, is communication. Please keep checking in with each other throughout, and talk about it afterward. Strap on play is fun— have to take courage and try it out for yourselves!
