If your partner’s love language is physical touch, one of the best things you can give to them is a sensual massage. And no, you don’t have to be a professional massage therapist to give them a satisfying massage session. All you need to do is gather the right items and learn some basic massage techniques.
Unsure of how to start? We’re here to help you out. Be the masseuse or masseur of your lover’s dreams by learning the ins and outs of a sensual massage!
What is a Sensual Massage?
A sensual massage involves touching one’s erogenous zones, such as the penis, clitoris, nipples, butt, and anus. Unlike a normal massage, it aims to make your partner orgasm or get them into a sensual mood. A typical session lasts 10 minutes up to an hour, but it could be longer depending on you and your partner.
Why You Should Give a Sensual Massage to Your Partner
Giving your significant other an erotic massage can do wonders not just in the relationship but in their well-being, too. Learn the different benefits of intimate massages below.
1It’s good for your partner’s health.
A sensual massage is a simple way to improve your partner’s physical and mental well-being. Massage therapy is generally known to reduce stress, minimize muscle soreness, lower blood pressure, and boost the immune system. Not only you’ll get to express your affection to your partner, but you’ll also help them lead a healthier life.
2It’s a simple and fun way to connect with your partner.
If you want a new and simple way to get intimate with your partner, a sensual massage can do the trick. Touching your partner can cause your brain to release dopamine and serotonin, known as the feel-good hormones. Also, your brain releases oxytocin, known as the “bonding hormone,” making you and your lover feel closer after the session.
3It’s a great way to set the mood.
A sensual massage is one of the best activities you could do right before sex— whether you’re into oral, vaginal, or anal play. Massaging your partner helps them destress and block out distractions.
It also boosts your partner’s body confidence. Nothing says “I love your body” more than giving it the gentle caresses and titillating rubs it deserves. Your partner will surely get into the mood after a few minutes of sensual massages.
However, ensure that you’ve established that you will have sex after the massage sesh before doing it. Asking your partner to get up and do the deed after the massage can ruin their relaxed mind.
How to Give a Sensual Massage
After learning the benefits of sensual massages, most of you are convinced to try them out. Trust us; it’s worth it! Below are the basic steps when giving your partner an erotic massage.
1Set the space.
When it comes to giving an erotic massage, the ambiance is everything. Having a relaxing atmosphere helps your partner let go of all distractions. No need to book a hotel room to create an inviting space. All you need to do is make adjustments with these three important elements— the 4S.
Transform your humble abode into a sensual sanctuary by adjusting the lighting and temperature of your room. For the lighting, you’ll need a lamp that can emit a soft and warm light. You can also go with a lamp that has a red hue in it, as it’s associated with eroticism.
If your budget’s a bit tight, opt for a few candles instead; this will create the warm lighting you’re aiming for without buying a new lamp. You can also use your desktop or laptop and play “lamp videos.” Just increase the screen’s brightness, turn off all the other light sources, and play the video to bring up that warm vibe. A great example of it would be this Lava Lamp 4k Yellow Orange Liquid video.
As for the temperature, the room should generally be warm. You can turn on the air conditioner but make sure that it’s in the temp is cozy enough for your lover. You can also warm your oils or use a massage candle to maintain the sensuous warmth.
For the decorations, the simpler, the better. You don’t need lots of knick-knacks to create a relaxing space. A few lit up can do the trick. If you want to amp up the romantic vibe, you can place a few rose petals on the table and floor.
Another important element in creating a sensual atmosphere is the scent. Though most massage oils have arousing properties, specific fragrances– called aphrodisiac scents– are proven to amplify your partner’s sexual arousal. Below are some scents you should look for when getting a massage candle, massage oil, and room spray.
Most people don’t consider this one when prepping the space, but the sound is actually crucial when creating a warm and arousing vibe. Imagine receiving a massage, but there are a lot of street sounds outside. You won’t be able to focus, right?
That said, prepare a playlist containing relaxing tunes, or go for a sexy playlist if you plan to end the massage session with sex. If you’re looking for song recommendations, check out our spotify profile.
Ensure you’ve got the needed items within your reach. This includes a bottle of massage oil, a candle or lotion, towels, additional blankets for warmth, and a bottle of water-based lubricant.
2Start with a regular massage.
After setting up the vibe and preparing the supplies, let’s proceed with the fun part! Once you’re both ready for the steamy sesh, ask your partner to lie down on their stomach.
Don’t proceed with massaging their intimate areas yet, as you would want to build anticipation. The longer the teasing, the better the sensations your partner would feel once you’ve touched their erogenous zones. With the following basic massage techniques, start massaging the common areas, such as the back and thighs.
Light and Deep Strokes
Also known as effleurage, this common technique involves applying pressure onto the skin. Keep your hands flat on the skin, then gently glide them over your partner’s body. Start with light pressure, then increase the pressure as needed.
In this one, you’ll move your thumbs in a circular motion while your hand slowly glides into your partner’s body. The pressure is in the thumbs. It’s known to relieve stiffness and soreness in the deeper layers of one’s muscle tissues.
Also known as tapotement massage, this involves tapping the skin in a rapid and rhythmic motion. You can either cup, curve, or straighten your hands while tapping your partner’s body. This method usually works for the back, thighs, and buttocks. Start with gentle taps first, then increase the pressure depending on your partner’s preference.
This is considered one of the easiest techniques, so take note of kneading. For this one, you will use your thumbs or palms to apply pressure onto your partner’s body. The motion of your two hands should be opposite to one another; if the left hand is moving upward, the other one is moving downward. It’s basically the motion that bakers do when kneading the dough.
3Tease and please.
After a short session of regular massages, it’s now time to proceed to some sensual teasing. Using the techniques given above, touch the following erogenous zones:
- Nape of the neck
- Inner Thighs
- Lower stomach
- Inside the ankle
- Between the toes
- Pubic mound
- Breasts (but don’t touch the nipples)
- Butt cheeks
You can also ask your partner what erogenous zones they would like to be touched before the deed. That way, you’ll be able to filter the areas they would like to be teased on.
4Massage their genitals.
After making your partner relaxed and aroused, it’s time to start pleasing their sweetest spot. You’ll need to avoid the traditional massage methods and go with techniques designed for the vulva (yoni) and the penis (lingam). Below are some methods you can try out on your first erotic massage session.
If your partner has a vagina…
- Vulva Glide – Also known as the “pet the vulva,” this technique involves placing your finger on the top of the vulva, then slowly gliding it towards your perineum. It’s a great way to start the vulva massage sesh.
- Clit Tap – Gently tap the clitoris in a steady rhythm.
- Clit ‘O Clock – As for this, you’ll make circular motions around the clitoris using your fingers.
If your partner has a penis…
- Crossed Prayer – Be a devoted lover with this method. For this one, you would hold your hand with crossed fingers while the penis is between your palms. You will then start moving your hands in an upward or downward motion.
- Skiing – For this one, you’ll hold the sides of the penis, and the thumbs will alternately move up and down— from the base to the tip and vice versa.
- Screwdriver – Gently grip the shaft with both hands, then twist them in opposite directions.
After massaging their genitals, you can either proceed with having sex or finish them off with oral play, handjob, or fingering, depending on their preferences.
5Let your partner rest.
Do you know the best thing to do after giving them a steamy massage? Let them rest.
Don’t expect a massage in return or force them to perform sexual acts with you. Let them bask in the pleasure they’ve just felt from your touch. Pushing them to do things will kill the relaxing vibe. Besides, you can always ask them to return the favor after a few days; they’ll surely be glad to spoil you, too!
How to Spice Up Your Sensual Massage
After learning the basics, you’re ready to give your partner some titillating massages. As for those who’ve tried giving a sensual massage and want to keep things fresh, here are some tips on spicing up the session.
1Bare it all.
Spice up your next session by getting naked while massaging your partner. Pleasurable sensations + sensual visuals = your lover will be in for a treat! If getting naked isn’t your thing, you can try putting on lingerie or sexy costumes.
2Let your partner take control.
Give your partner the ultimate pleasure by letting them take over. In your next session, let your partner dictate the areas you would massage. Not only they’ll get to personalize their message, but it could also be incredibly arousing for people who love to dominate in the bedroom.
3Use bondage sex toys such as ticklers, cuffs, and blindfolds.
Contrary to popular belief, you can use BDSM toys for non-bondage activities, such as erotic massages. Take your session to the next level by incorporating ticklers, cuffs, and blindfolds in the deed.
Ticklers are good for teasing your partner’s erogenous zones, and blindfolds heighten your partner’s other senses, such as their touch. Meanwhile, cuffs are good for partners that prefer to be submissive in the bedroom, as the lack of control arouses them.
4Experiment with stimulants, massage candles, and edible massage oils.
There are also sexual wellness products you can use to amp up the sensations your partner feel during the sesh, such as stimulants. They’re formulated to deliver a warming, cooling, or tingling sensations on your partner’s skin.
You can also opt for edible massage oils, which allow your tongue and lips to massage your partner’s body. And if you want to heat things up, skip the regular massage oil and use a massage candle. Instead of melted wax, the candles melt into a warm oil, making your every stroke, rub, and knead hotter than ever.
5Use other parts of your body.
Instead of touching your partner’s erotic zones with your hands, try incorporating the other parts of your body. This includes your breasts, feet, lips, tongue, nose, and more. Using these areas can offer a whole new sensation, sending your lover into an orgasmic spiral.
Sensual Massage Essentials
After reading the techniques, tips, and tricks, you’re ready for a night of sensual teasing and massaging! But before doing that, check out the best products for your sensual massages.
Frequently Asked Questions
If you still have inquiries or need a TL;DR on some of the topics in this guide, check this section. We’ve answered some of the common inquiries about erotic massages.
1What items do I need for a sensual massage?
A comfortable bed and a bottle of massage oil will do, but we recommend preparing a bottle of lube, blankets, towels, candles, and warm lighting for a better experience.
2Do I have to be a massage therapist to be good at giving massages?
Giving a sensual massage doesn’t need intensive training, unlike massage therapy used for treatment. You’ll do fine if you know your partner’s erogenous zones and are willing to learn different massage techniques.
3My partner feels pain when I give them a massage; what should I do?
You may want to lessen the pressure on your next session or be more generous with massage oil, as the pain may be caused by too much friction. If they still feel pain when being touched, we suggest consulting their healthcare provider, as it could be a symptom of a medical condition.
4Is it better if the sensual massage session ends up in sex?
It all depends on the recipient of the massage. Some peeps love to end the session with sensual action, while others prefer to sleep. We suggest communicating with your partner about it.
5Should I ask for a massage back after the session?
If your partner is into it, go for it. But quite frankly, most people don’t like moving around after a satisfying massage session. As mentioned in the previous question, we suggest talking to your partner about it.
Giving a sensual massage is a great way to bond with your partner. Not only does it release feel-good hormones, but it can also benefit the recipient’s physical and mental health. It’s also a unique way to set the mood, unlike typical makeout sessions.
However, you’ll also need to prepare many things to ensure a great session— from the room atmosphere to the massage methods. But once you’ve learned about the techniques and prepared the essentials, you’ll surely make your lover happy by surprising them with a steamy massage sesh!