The concept of tantric sex and massages stem from ancient Hinduism. It focuses on the idea of the tantra which is loosely based on religious texts that focus on spiritualism. Tantric sex is then a form of meditation that emphasizes slow, intentional sex whose end goal is not an orgasm, but rather the enjoyment of each individual sensation and the sexual journey. Lingam massage is a practice that falls under the tantric sex practice.
The word ‘lingam’ is an ancient Sanskrit term that literally translates to ‘wand of light’. It’s a symbol of masculine energy and represents one of the main gods of Hinduism: Shiva. Shiva just so happens to be phallic in shape, thus the association with the penis. Lingam represents creation, the union of heaven and earth, and the fertility of a sacred non-sexual character.
In more recent years, Lingam Massages has found its way into the public eye, and we’re here to give you a better idea of what it is and what lingam massages hope to achieve.
What is a lingam massage?
Lingam massages is a tantric massage practice that focuses on the penis and the areas around it. While tantric massages, in general, have been associated with sexual pleasure, that isn’t the main focus. Tantric massage therapy involves an understanding of how to build up sexual energy to fully experience the pure feeling of pleasure.
Lingam massages were developed fairly recently and its conception in the 1970s is credited to Andro Andreas Rothe – the founder of Diamon Lotus Tantra Lounge in Berlin. The concept was further evolved by one of the foremost teachers of erotic massage and Taoist Master Mantak Chia, Joseph Kramer.
There are some debates in regards to the timeline and the actual contribution of each individual to the practice. Some accounts state that Kramer himself is responsible after having developed Taoist Erotic Massage in 1982 before going on to work with Annie Sprinkle, a feminist, sex educator, and researcher who developed the concept of yoni massage.
Regardless of who contributed to this idea, I think we can all agree that it has become a pretty intriguing, if not extremely popular, practice.
Benefits of a lingam massage
Look, there’s no point in entering a practice if there aren’t going to be good things to show for it. So here are a few benefits that you can get from engaging in lingam massages.
1Lingam massages promote full-body healing.
All tantric practices prioritize and promote overall healing above sexual pleasure. Buddhist principles dictate that lingam massages can help the recipient heal from past trauma. It is also believed to help the recipient align themselves with both their spiritual and sexual self.
2It helps relieve stress throughout the body.
Massages in general also help improve circulation, lower blood pressure and soothe muscle aches and pains. Because lingam massages generally involve a full-body massage before focusing on the penis, it does help soothe and release tension everywhere.
3Consensual sexual activity can benefit the body and mind.
It can help not only increase libido but reduce the risk of chronic diseases. Participating in lingam massage combines the benefits of pleasurable sexual activities and massage therapy.
4It is great for your skin!
The skin is the largest organ of the body, and because lingam massages involve nourishing oils to make the experience enjoyable, it is a great way to make sure that your skin is receiving enough moisture.
5It can help relieve insomnia and anxiety.
Now, no one’s claiming that lingam massages will cure your inability to sleep or get rid of all your anxious thoughts, but they can help ease those stressors. The calming sensations and application of pressure can help you relax and find some inner calm that you may have been struggling to find.
6It can help improve sexual stamina and sexual experiences.
Lingam massages cab help prolong erections, enhance sexual performance, and help lessen the frequency of premature ejaculation. Lingam massages can help you practice restraint and help train your ejaculatory control. Anorgasmia – the inability to orgasm despite stimulation – can also be helped by lingam massages.
7It can help improve your body confidence.
Because your body is being attended to and pleasured while you’re in the nude, it can help you learn to appreciate your body and understand that it is appreciated and enjoyed by your partner. It can be extremely liberating to expose your bare body to your partner, or even to a stranger.
8Helps aid in genital muscle toning.
Just like ben wa balls and kegel exercises can help tone the pelvic muscles, lingam massages can do the same but for the penis! It helps you make ejaculatory muscles stronger and trains your mind as well so that you become a better lover.
Understand the male anatomy
Before you even begin to give your partner a lingam massage, make sure that you equip yourself with knowledge about the male anatomy. The penis is made of the base, shaft, foreskin, and head (or glans). At the tip of the head is the urethral opening.
The head itself is highly sensitive and is sometimes the most sensitive part of a man’s penis. This is a great benefit for those with partners who cannot deep throat because it means that they can give a great blow job by focusing only on the head of the penis.
If your partner is circumcised (the foreskin has been removed from the head of the penis), then there will be a corona. The corona is the ridge that separates the head of the penis from the shaft. The underside of the corona is known as the frenulum. The frenulum is the most sensitive part of the head.
If your partner is uncut, the foreskin will still cover the glans. It has been noted that some uncut penises can be more sensitive.
The rumors that the penis itself is the only source of pleasure, those rumors are untrue! The testicles and scrotum can also be sources of sexual pleasure. In fact, you can go back even further to the perineum. The perineum is found between the testicles and anus. It’s also sometimes referred to as the taint. This part of the male body can be especially sensitive because it allows prostate stimulation without needing to penetrate the man anally. It has earned the title of the ‘Sacred Spot’ in lingam massages for exactly this reason.
Preparation for a lingam massage.
Lingam massages are more than just a simple hand job. Before you place your hands on your man, make sure you set the mood to make sure you both have an exceptional lingam massage experience.
1Put on some sensual music.
Music can be a great addition to lingam massages. You can choose to go with something soothing and gentle. Music that can fade into the background. You can also choose some slow jams that have a great romantic feel to them. You may even opt for something traditional and eastern to get you in a more meditational mood.
If music can distract you and your partner from being in the moment, white noise is a great background filler if you don’t really want music, but you want more than just both of your breathing to fill the space.
2Set the lighting.
Make sure your lighting complements the mood. Most spas opt for soft light during your massage sessions because harsh light isn’t sex or relaxing. Swap out those overhead lights with candles or even bedside lamps. If you feel like your lamp is still too bright, you can drape a sheer scarf or a thin blanket over the shade.
The fun thing with using candles is you can opt for scented ones that can help add to the ambiance. Add to that, massage candles are available and can be used as oil during the lingam massage.
3Add some scents.
As we mentioned earlier, scented candles are a great means to add some wonderful scents to the room. But you can also choose to burn incense while you give your partner a massage. Linen sprays are also great for completing the experience. If you aren’t interested in candles and linen spray, a vase full of flowers can also scent the room with a subtle freshness.
Scents are important in making the experience enjoyable and relaxing. Lavender and eucalyptus are scents that are commonly used in encouraging calm and restful energies which is desirable for these kinds of things.
4Don’t overlook the details.
Simple things like clean floors and fresh sheets can influence the mood. Bed sheets covered in your favorite childhood characters are probably not what you want to see when you’re trying to get sensual with your partner. Also, make sure that there are enough pillows to support you and your partner. Don’t forget that the room isn’t too hot or cold either because that can contribute to the comfort.
5Make sure you have enough privacy.
You don’t want to be distracted by the outside world or get caught half-mast by anyone that isn’t your partner. So make sure that you’re alone, or at the very least locked in your own private space so you can both relax and enjoy the lingam massage.
6Find the perfect products to enhance your lingam massage.
Break out your favorite massage products, but remember what activities you’re going to engage in. Things like oil-based massage creams can be the massage lubricant of choice, you may want to rethink your selection when condom-equipped sex is part of the agenda. Oil can weaken and degrade condoms making them an unreliable birth control method or means of STI protection. Silicone-based lubes are great alternatives.
Warming, flavored, and scented massage products can be fun products to use that can take the experience up a notch. Just remember to test the products before slathering them all over you or your partner’s body because all bodies react differently.
Lastly, and we have mentioned this earlier, massage candles are an option you may want to consider. They can double as a means of making the environment look sexier, too.
How to Perform a Lingam Massage
1Get into position.
There are multiple positions you could get into when giving or receiving a lingam massage. Some will prefer to situate themselves between their partner’s legs while the penis-equipped partner is seated with their legs spread open. The giver then kneels on the floor facing them. It is also possible and could be more comfortable, to sit next to the receiving partner in bed or on a sofa. Switching positions during the massage is also totally okay.
2Liberally apply your massage product of choice.
Apply the product to your hands. If the cream/oil/lubricant is cold, warm it up by rubbing your hands together. If a massage candle is being used, allow it to cool a bit in your hands before applying it to your partner.
3Start the massage slowly.
Begin by focusing on areas like the lower abdomen, upper thighs, and inner thighs. Set the stage for a sensual experience by moving your hands slowly and intentionally. Knowing your partner’s erogenous zones can help spark the initial pleasure without moving too fast.
With all the sensual touches you apply to your partner, always keep in mind that the goal of the lingam massage is to take it slow and for both of you to experience pleasure.
4Work your way upwards.
Move languidly from the erogenous zones to more sensitive areas. Cupping the testicles can be enjoyable for your partner. Just make sure that you are not too rough because that can make the experience more painful than pleasurable.
You can also massage his perineum or Sacred Spot during this. You may choose to prolong massaging this area if your partner enjoys it.
5Touch the penis and apply the massage product.
When both of you are ready, gently grasp your partner’s penis and run your hands down the shaft. Make sure that you properly coat the penis in lubricant. Slowly rub closer and closer to the pubic bone while making circles the closer you get to the base of the penis. Always remember to work slowly and intentionally.
6Explore penetrative stimulation.
By this we mean, you can use your fingers to explore the possibilities of prostate stimulation during the lingam massage. Make sure that you and your partner are interested in this kind of stimulation.
Gently insert your properly lubricated finger into the anus, angling your finger so that it is pointed towards the front of the body. You should be able to feel the prostate, and once located, apply gentle pressure to stimulate the area.
Some people will be able to experience a prostate orgasm from this kind of stimulation.
7Make sure you are both practicing restraint.
When either of you feels an orgasm is approaching, pull back. Focus on other sensual areas of your partner’s body. This practice is called edging. Continue to do this throughout the lingam massage for as long as you and your partner both find it pleasurable.
Orgasming early is not a problem. You don’t have to end the lingam massage just because you or your partner has orgasmed. This sensual massage can still be pleasurable even post-orgasm.
8Enjoy every moment of the experience.
Research in a 2016 review revealed that some sexual experiences can invoke a trance-like state. The full-body pleasure that one can experience during a lingam massage is often enough to reach that trance-like state that can feel like and highlight a spiritual experience more than a sexual one.
Make the most of the lingam massage by taking it slowly. Be intentional in every touch and make sure that both you and your partner are present in your body. Allow yourselves to experience the sexual and spiritual nature of the lingam massage.
Lingam Massage Techniques
Here are a few special strokes you should try out with your partner to maximize the lingam massage experience. You can try this out in chronological order throughout the session or mix it up to keep your partner on their toes.
1Start with Lingam Shiatsu.
The first stroke is usually the best stroke for the receiver and the lingam shiatsu is a great move to start off with. Gently press the penis between your thumbs and index fingers and then release. Do this repeatedly as you move centimeter by centimeter up the shaft. Continue until you’ve worked your way up the entire length of the receiver’s penis.
This is a great follow-up to supercharge your partner’s pleasure. Hold the sides of the penis with both of your hands and create a skiing motion with your thumbs. How? Alternate up and down motions with each thumb from the root of the shaft of the penis all the way to the tip. Experiment with different speeds and pressure.
3Add the ‘screwdriver’ to your technique toolbox.
Grip the penis with both hands and twist them gently in opposite directions. Make sure that the grip is firm without being too tight. This stroke can provide interesting sensations for the receiver.
4Greet the frenulum.
It’s time to slow down the massage and start a more meditative motion. Circle the tip of the thumb and index finger in both directions around the underside of the penis head. Go slowly and intentionally. Both of you should do your best to be as present as possible to see the magic.
5Worship them with a ‘crossed prayer’.
Hold your hands with crossed fingers – like you would when you’re in prayer, and encase the penis between them. Open your thumbs and slide them along each side of the penis in upward and downward strokes at varying speeds.
6Show the testicles some love.
The testicles are a crucial part of the male reproductive system that often gets taken for granted. During a Lingam massage, gently stretch them away from the receiver’s body. You can squeeze them together and release them, gently roll them in your palms, or simply trace them with your fingertips. Make sure to check up on your partner because some testicles are more sensitive than others.
7Incorporate a pelvic floor massage.
Start to massage the taint – the spot midway along the pelvic floor between the testicles and the anus. It should feel like a pea-size indentation, maybe slightly larger. Gently push the spot inward and introduce your partner to a whole new world of sensations.
8Indulge in a prostate massage.
If women have got the g-spot, men have the p-spot! It’s the prostate gland that can be accessed through anal stimulation. The g-spot is an emotional sexual center that can be loaded with tension and old traumas. This is similar to the men. Gently insert your thumb into the anus and reach for the prostate. Push towards the front of the body to locate the prostate. Repeated tapping motions or a rubbing motion can be pleasurable for your partner.
Massaging the prostate give your partner the opportunity to let go of that baggage and reveal their true potential. A prostate massage combined with gentle penis strokes can be a powerful tool for sexual healing. This holistic experience is what fulfills the true essence of a lingam massage.
Lingam massages can be enhanced when you use the perfect products. Here are a couple of our favorites for you to include in your tantric experience.
Frequently Answered Questions
Here are a few things you may still be curious about in regards to lingam massages.
1Are lingam massages and happy endings the same thing?
Not at all. While lingam massages are intentional and are meant to inspire a more spiritual, albeit sexual experience, happy endings are a means to the end that is an orgasm. This isn’t to say happy endings are bad or less fulfilling, there’s just a different intention behind the act.
2Where can I learn more about lingam massage techniques?
You can learn more about lingam techniques, and other tantric practices, on the internet. There are so many resources available. One of our favorite sources is Embody Tantra. There’s also a great infographic from Beducated.
3Is the term ‘lingam massage’ offensive?
There are practicing Hindus that do find it offensive. While some concepts behind Tantric massages were developed by Taoist Master Matak Chia, there are others that were simply adopted by westerners in the 20th century. The use of the words ‘lingam’ and ‘tantra’ can reduce a complex belief system to something that is only sexual.
4What if my partner does not enjoy a sensual lingam massage?
Many penis-owners are used to masturbation sessions that are quick and straightforward which usually mean with a tightly-closed fist and intense speed. This means that the slow sensual strokes that lingam massages call for may feel less pleasurable or may even tickle him. Remind your partner that the purpose of a lingam massage is not just for sexual pleasure, but to promote intimacy and make his body and penis feel worshiped and not just pleasured. It may take a couple of tries for him to like it and he may even lose his erection, and that’s okay! As long as you’re both enjoying it, keep going, and if you really do not find any pleasure in lingam massages, you can find another activity to enjoy.
5Is there a female counterpart to a lingam massage?
Yes! Yoni massages focus on the female private areas and are the female-focused tantric practice.
Sexual experiences aren’t always about orgasming. Sometimes they’re meant to show your partner appreciation and adoration. Sensual acts like this are also meant to create a greater bond and foster more intimacy between you and your partner. It’s also a great way to introduce holistic experiences that both of you can enjoy together. Lingam massages encourage both parties to see sexual experiences as holistic experiences that can help them heal and grow.