Anal sex can be a major deal, especially if you haven’t done it before. And like any other sexual act, it is something you can should- prepare for if you want to explore it.
It’s completely fine to feel nervous, especially if you’re unfamiliar with having a toy or a penis up your bum. That is why we have collated the proper precautions and ways for you to prepare for anal sex. So, without further ado, here are the things you need to know when preparing for anal.
How do I Prepare for Anal Sex?
If you want to be safe, comfortable, and sure for anal sex, follow these tips and tricks. Bear in mind that these preparation tips are for anyone with a butt, having sex with a partner of any gender identity, whether they have a vagina, a penis, or plan to wear a strap-on for penetration.
1Talk about anal sex with your partner.
Make sure that you and your partner discussed having anal sex before actually trying it out.
An honest conversation between partners is a great way to prepare for anal sex, so both of you understand each other’s needs. Consent is a major key in all play, and surprising your partner with a new sexual experience out of the blue is never a good idea.
2Stock up and select the right lube.
The anal opening is narrower than the vaginal opening.
Because the anus is not naturally lubricated like the vagina, you’re going to rely on a lubricant when trying anal, including butt plugs, dildos, and sex toys. You should also consider the type of lube you’re getting. Silicone lube is often the best option for anal because it’s thicker and lasts longer. But if you’re using silicone toys, it’ll be best to use water-based lube since silicone lube degrades silicone toys.
3Try anal alone first.
Similar to how masturbation is extra helpful for understanding your vulva and easing into different sensations, trying anal alone first will help you for anal sex. Start with anal fingering at your speed with tons of lube. Do this by slowly inserting your clean fingers into your anus; in turn, you’ll ease into the experience.
4Sanitise your hands and fingers.
If fingers are going anywhere in the anal area, make sure they are properly washed. We recommend using unscented, mild soap as you wash up.
Check if your nails are trimmed and without any jagged edges on the fingers. The common practice is to wash to the timing of the happy birthday song to ensure thorough cleansing.
5Go to the bathroom.
You are heading to the bathroom before anal sex is generally a good idea to prepare. It’s especially helpful if you’re worried that you are about to poop. Knowing that you’re empty down there can boost your focus on the upcoming fun.
6Practice hygiene: Anal Douching and Hand Washing.
Anal douching is the hygienic practice of rinsing the rectum. You squeeze water inside your anus with the use of a douching device. This flushes out the fecal matter as a result. There are different types of anal douching, such as bulb douche, shower douche, and water bag douche. It’s a matter of finding the method that you’re most comfortable with.
If you aren’t comfortable with encountering poop during the main event, anal douching can minimize that chance of happening.
7Try to relax.
Even when you’re practicing, it’s important to remain calm and relax to ease into something new. It is in a relaxed mood before the deed can provide a lot more pleasure for you and your partner.
You could try the following to set the mood:
- soaking in a warm bath
- having your partner give you a relaxing and sensual massage
- go with some foreplay, such as erogenous play, kissing, or oral sex
What To Do During Anal Sex
The time has come, and you are ready to give anal a go. Check these tips to be much more certain in the nitty-gritty in this portion of your sexual journey:
1Use tons of lube
As we have mentioned before, your behind will not lubricate itself.
Anal sex without lube is not only risky but is also painful. The best way to reach anal orgasm is to use lots of lube around your anus and your partner’s penis. Water-based lube is your best bet as it’s friendly to toys and condoms.
When using a condom, oil-based lubes and other oil products should be avoided because they break the latex down. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says the risk of HIV transmission is higher with anal than other kinds of sex. You can also get other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) from anal sex. Using condoms can reduce your risk of sexually transmitted diseases and other infections. Avoid condoms that have spermicide because they can irritate the rectum.
3Take your time.
Forget the hardcore anal sex you see in porn. It’s not someone’s first time.
Going full speed at anal sex could potentially cause major damage such as anal fissure or rectal perforation. If the anus is penetrated too aggressively, you could tear your partner’s anal sphincter muscle. You might want to start with anal toys before penetration. Anal beads are also great ways to introduce the anal play.
4Try out different angles.
Adjusting positions or slight changes can make a difference when it comes to doing anal sex. If you feel any discomfort, try making small position adjustments, like having your partner turn slightly in one direction or arching your back. There are plenty of positions to try out, and exploring can help you find what will help you reach that blissful climax.
Communicating makes anal sex so much better. Plus, sex is not the time to be quiet.
Moan, and speak when you feel like it. Be sure to tell your partner what makes you feel good and speak up if you feel any pain or want to stop. Good communication is key in this process. This ensures that you are both still into it throughout.
6Calm down, you are not about to poop.
Anal penetration can make you feel like you’re about to poop even if you aren’t. That’s because many of the same muscles are experiencing the same sensations.
Relax and rest assured that you are not about to take a dump. Don’t worry.
Prepare With These Must-have Anal Sex Products
Now that you know the different steps to prepare for anal sex, you’re probably excited to try a sex toy and products that would help you enjoy it even more. Here are our top products for anal that you surely don’t want to miss.
1Squirtz Anal Douche
Prevent any fecal matter on the toy or penis with the Squirtz Anal Douche. This is built for clean backdoor fun with its light-squeeze bulb to help you control the water flow coming up your bum. It is made with high-quality rubber, and you can use this tool on all lubricants. Besides that, this lightweight douche has a removable tip for easy cleanup.
2Splash Anal Douche
To keep your bum squeaky clean, we also recommend the Splash Anal Douche. It has a sturdy bulb that can hold just enough water and a thin tube that can reach your anal cavity. The Splash Anal Douche helps remove bacteria and reduces the risk of infection within your anal region.
3Eros Classic Silicone Bodyglide
Go for this if you are looking for a sexual lubricant that doesn’t need frequent re-application. The Eros Classic Silicone Bodyglide is a silicone-based lube that feels exceptionally smooth and gentle on the skin. This makes it an ideal lube for sensual massages.
4Eros Fetish Line Silicone-Based Lubricant – Toy Bottle
Say bye to discomfort and dryness during sex. The Eros Fetish Line Silicone-Based Lubricant – Toy Bottle is a non-sticky, unscented formula that ensures pure comfort for you and your partner. It also comes as a phallic-shaped bottle. You get a dildo and lube all for the price of one!
5Booty Charm Anal Plug Set
Make your anal play super fancy with the Booty Charm Anal Plug Set. This 3-plug set is designed with high-quality silicone and is accessorized with sparkly gems. It’s pretty easy to clean too as the gems are detachable. What are you waiting for, bring some dazzle in the bedroom with this luscious toy.
6Intome Anal Whitening Cream
If you want to lighten the skin around your bum, the Intome Anal Whitening Cream is the one to go for. It comes with a body-safe, non-greasy, and nourishing formula that gradually whitens the dark skin around your anus. Nourish and have your sultry peach thrive with this cream!
7Eros Explorer Anal Relaxation Spray
Prep your bum with the Eros Explorer Anal Relaxation Spray. It brings a cooling sensation on your anal region, helping it to relax during the deed. It features a body-safe, non-greasy, and non-staining formula, you can safely use this water-based relaxation spray with condoms and sex toys.
8Intome Anal Relaxing Gel
Relax your bum during anal play. The Intome Anal Relaxing Gel helps you get great comfort down there without the numbing effects. This relaxing gel comes with a mild and nourishing formula, ensuring your safety with every use.
9Satisfyer Booty Call (Set of 3)
Experience carefree fun with backdoor play! The Satisfyer Booty Call (Set of 3) is the perfect staple for training those muscles in your bum. It features a sweet-looking set of plump and swirled anal plugs. Not only that, but the love toys under this set also come with a practical retrieval ring, simplifying the insertion of the plugs.
10Satisfyer Love Beads (Set of 2)
The Satisfyer Love Beads (Set of 2) is the perfect choice for beginners in anal sex. The anal bead set helps beginners explore the tingling delights of anal play, featuring a graduated shape and practically-designed pull ring. These anal toys also come with a practical restrainer strap, ensuring easy removal after you’re done with the play.
Cleaning Up After Anal Sex
The cleanup is a small price to pay after a potentially blissful time with your behind. These are the tips to guide you once you are done with anal sex.
1Wash the anal and genital region.
A shower or at least a gentle wash of the anal and genital region are keys to preventing the spread of bacteria. You should consider using anal douching if you want a thorough cleaning of your anal region. Wash the vulva with a mild unscented soap, then rinse well and pat dry. Wipe the vagina and anus from front to back to avoid the transfer of microbes.
As for penis care, your partner should also wash with mild soap. He must rinse the area well and pat dry. Those with foreskin should gently pull it back and clean underneath to remove semen buildup.
2Wash your sheets.
Lube can also be a bit messy, so you’ll probably need to wash your sheets once done. Washing your sheets could also help avoid any bacteria from spreading in your space. Water-based lube doesn’t require much special care, but stains from silicone lube should be pretreated with a stain remover before doing any washing.
3Have a follow-up convo.
Enjoy some cuddling and chatting when you’re done to check in with your partner. This would allow both of you to understand how the other felt about the experience. Talk about how things went and what you might want to do differently, or whether anal sex is something you would even want to try again next time.
4Keep an eye out for anything unusual.
There could be some mild pain after your first few times, but this isn’t usually a cause for concern. But if you experience abdominal pain or deep pain, any severe pain, or pain that lingers for more than a day, please see a healthcare provider.
You should see your healthcare provider if you:
- have signs of infection, such as muscle aches, fatigue, or fever
- notice any bleeding, particularly if it lasts more than a day
- notice signs of abscess, such as swelling, redness, or a lump inside or around the anus
Frequently Asked Questions
We hope you have learned a lot from the tips and points that we have prepared for anal sex. Surely, there are still questions lurking in your mind, so we have also listed an FAQ for you below.
1Why does it hurt?
Anal sex usually hurts because of the natural lack of lubrication.
If you aren’t relaxed, that can be another cause of pain. The anal region is a pretty tight area because the muscles in the anus are meant to be closed tight to keep the poop in. Without relaxing your anal muscles, getting anything inside could cause major discomfort.
2Will I poop during anal sex?
The thing about anal sex is: A sex toy or a penis is going up your butt, so the fear of pooping is normal. And as we mentioned earlier, anal sex taps into the same muscles involved when taking a dump. So you have to relax during penetration. If you want to prevent pooping during anal sex, take a dump if needed and do thorough anal. Squeezing water inside your anus with a douching device will help flush out remnants of fecal matter.
3Will the pain go away later?
To avoid major pain, we emphasize having thorough lubrication and aim to reach a level of relaxation before any penetration. Again, pain can be avoided if you observe proper lubrication and prepared well before anal sex.
The pain should go away pretty quickly. If you feel any severe pain or notice any signs of swelling after the next couple of days, please make a trip to a healthcare provider.
4Will I bleed during anal sex?
You may bleed during anal sex. A tiny bit of blood isn’t usually a big deal the first time and may be due to a bit of irritation. That is why proper lubrication and proper preparation for anal is necessary, to avoid any irritation or pain during penetration.
If you see more than just a few drops of pink blood or if there are even more, the following days, follow up with your healthcare provider. Bleeding can be caused by too much rough contact or by an underlying condition such as hemorrhoids.
5Is it okay to do a double-dip after anal sex?
If you plan on moving onto the manual vagina or oral pleasure after anal play, do not go there without thoroughly washing your genitals, hands, and sex toys prior.
When switching activities, make sure to use a new condom. Bacteria from the rectum can get in the urethra and cause a urinary tract infection. If bacteria gets in the mouth, it could cause gastrointestinal infections.
6What are the potential risks of anal sex?
Some of the common side effects with anal sex include:
Stretching and rough penetration from anal sex can irritate existing hemorrhoids, but it’s unlikely to cause the stretched blood vessels inside the anus and rectum.
- Transmitting STIs
Infections and diseases such as HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and herpes can be transmitted during anal. In fact, among all types of sexual activity, anal sex has the highest risk for getting HIV for both men and women. People on the receiving end of anal are 13 times more likely to be infected than the inserting partner.
- Colon perforation
While this is very uncommon, it is possible that anal penetration can puncture a hole in your colon. Surgical repair is necessary, so if you face heavy rectal bleeding and abdominal pain after anal sex, please see your doctor.
7How do I prepare for anal sex and protect myself from infections?
The key to being safe during anal sex is to do thorough preparation, such as following the tips we have mentioned above.
To be safe throughout anal sex, you must also observe proper hygiene before and after the deed. Another necessary step is to use condoms during anal sex to avoid any further infection on you and your partner. And finally, be observant of your body. If you notice anything unusual such as severe abdominal pain days after anal sex, please see your healthcare provider.
8What is the biggest difference between anal in real life and in porn?
The roughness of anal sex in porn is one major difference from real-life anal. This is because porn stars have amassed a great deal of sexual experience than a normal person.
Moreover, anal sex in porn doesn’t often show proper lubrication techniques. Because most anal scenes cut to the actors sliding into the women’s anus with zero preparation. IRL, there should be a lot of time spent on lubrication, hygiene, and foreplay for the parties involved to enjoy the process safely.
9What is more effective, anal relaxing gel or anal spray?
The anal spray provides a gentle cooling effect on the bum, making it relax and prepped up for the upcoming fun. The anal relaxing gel, on the other hand, relaxes the bum without the numbing effects. Before you use the spray or a gel, however, make sure to test them first. Do this by applying a portion of the product to your arm. This will let you see if your skin is allergic to it with signs of itching or redness. Overall, anal sprays and gels are great for relaxing the bum, but you still need to apply water-based lube on the anus before penetration.
10Can anal sex lead to orgasm?
Anal sex can lead to orgasm, but that does not have to be the intended result. If you have prepared well for anal sex, you and your partner can reach blissful orgasm. Anal sex can be a fun way to play for couples. For some, the anus is an erogenous zone. So even just a bit of play can be a major turn-on. The anus is also filled with sensitive nerve endings, making it very receptive to sexual stimulation. For the inserting partner, the tightness of the anus around the penis can bring pleasure as well.
The Bottom Line
Proper preparation for anal sex and doing precautions will keep your sexual journey safe and fun. Exploring anal sex can be a great way to experience new waves of pleasure with your partner.
Take the time to talk about your feelings about anal sex before, during, and after. We cannot stress enough how important communication is when you prepare for anal sex. This rule especially applies if the couple is trying something new. Being honest and open about your feelings on the experience will surely help you learn, grow and understand each other.