Disclaimer: This article is meant to be a source of valuable information for the reader; however, it is not a substitute for direct expert assistance. Seek help from a professional therapist or counselor for further information.
When you hear the term autosexual, some might think it’s a fetish related to automobiles. However, that isn’t the case, as this term is meant for people sexually attracted to themselves.
Yes, there are people in this world that prefer to be intimate with themselves instead of doing it with others. We get that some of you are confused with the concept of being sexually attracted to oneself. We’re led to believe everyone can be attracted to one another regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation. But they do exist, and their feelings are valid.
For this guide, we’ll discuss the ins and outs of autosexuality, particularly the signs you should check to know if you have this orientation.
What Does Being Autosexual Mean?
Being an autosexual means the person is more aroused with themselves than anyone else. The term’s prefix came from the Greek word ‘auto,’ which means ‘self.’
Autosexuals are more satisfied with masturbation than partnered sex. This doesn’t mean their partner has no idea how to please their body; they simply enjoy self-pleasure more because they’re doing it to themselves.
There’s still a debate going on about autosexuality being a sexual orientation. Still, multiple resources are claiming that it is. It’s supposed to be under the ace spectrum and even has a pride flag— it comes with a light blue stripe at the top while a gray stripe at the bottom.
Misconceptions About Autosexuality
Because autosexuality isn’t widely studied, there are many misconceptions about this orientation. We’ll be clarifying some of the common myths below.
1Myth: Autosexuals are narcissists.
Fact: Autosexuality and narcissism are different from one another. When a person is autosexual, they enjoy having sex with themselves and may become more sexually attracted to their selves. They don’t feel superior in any way. Some of them may even have self-esteem issues.
Meanwhile, narcissists have a grandiose sense of superiority. They think they’re prettier, smarter, and kinder than everyone else. They may think they’re more sexually attractive than their partners, not because they’re aroused with themselves. Their narcissism makes them think they’re hotter than their partners.
There may be cases wherein an autosexual person has narcissist tendencies. However, putting both autosexuals and narcissists in one category is simply unjust.
2Myth: Autosexuals are incapable of being romantic with other people.
Fact: Autosexuality is a spectrum, so autosexuals have varying degrees of sexual feelings toward themselves. Some people can be incredibly aroused with themselves that they can’t have sexual feelings towards another person, hindering them from falling in love with someone else. Others may find themselves more aroused with themselves but have stronger romantic feelings for their partners.
Some autosexual people are also autoromantic, which means they have strong feelings of love for themselves. Some even consider marrying themselves, also known as sologomy, because of it.
3Myth: Dating an autosexual only leads to a miserable relationship.
Fact: Autosexual people can be in happy and healthy relationships. As long as both parties communicate properly and the partner genuinely supports their autosexual partner’s orientation, there shouldn’t be further issues.
4Myth: Autosexuality is a mental health condition that needs to be treated.
Fact: Being autosexual is the same as being gay, bisexual, omnisexual, or pansexual. It’s not a mental health disorder but a sexual orientation wherein the person is sexually attracted to themselves.
5Myth: Autosexuality and asexuality are exactly the same.
Fact: They may sound the same, but autosexuality and asexuality are 100% different from one another. Autosexuality is an orientation wherein the person is attracted to themselves. Meanwhile, asexuality is when the person can’t feel any sexual attraction to anyone, including themselves.
Signs That You Might Be Autosexual
Do you ever find yourself wondering if you’re autosexual or not? Check out the signs below to find out.
1You enjoy masturbating more than any other type of sex.
The most common sign is that you prefer masturbating, even if your partner is incredibly good in the bedroom. If you feel more excited about having alone time in the bedroom than having sex with your partner, then you may have this orientation.
2Masturbation orgasms feel more intense than in partnered sex.
Self-pleasure Os feels so damn good compared to orgasms you get from partnered sex. Though your partner knows how to please you, something about touching yourself amplifies the intensity of your orgasms.
Remember that having better orgasms alone doesn’t automatically mean you’re an autosexual. Your partner may not have mastered the art of pleasing you, so it’s best to check the other signs before concluding that you have this orientation.
3You get incredibly aroused when seeing your naked body.
It’s normal to feel aroused when seeing a naked body, but for people with autosexuality, the feelings are taken up a notch. Some autosexual people only feel aroused when seeing their naked bodies. Some of them also enjoy taking and collecting photos of their bodies.
4You love masturbating or having sex in front of the mirror.
Another common sign of autosexuality is that you enjoy watching yourself in the mirror when engaging in sexual acts. You prefer hotel or motel rooms with mirrors on the side or ceiling. If there’s no mirror around, some autosexuals may end up recording themselves doing the deed, then using the vid as their p*rn when they masturbate.
5Your erotic dreams are focused on you.
Some autosexuals claim that their erotic dreams always consist of them getting pleasured. The focus isn’t their partner or the scenario but on themselves. Some even say that they have dreams wherein they had sex with themselves.
This sign isn’t as common as the previous ones; you don’t necessarily need to have sex dreams about yourself to have this orientation.
6You’re more sexually attracted to yourself than to your partner.
As mentioned earlier, autosexual people have stronger sexual attraction to themselves. This doesn’t mean their current or future partner isn’t sexually attractive. It’s a sexual orientation, not a conscious decision. An autosexual only having sexual feelings for themselves is the same as a gay person only having a sexual attraction to the person of the same sex.
7You’re always the star in your self-pleasure fantasies.
It’s normal for everyone to have sexual fantasies while masturbating or doing the deed. But unlike other people, autosexuals tend to only fantasize about themselves. They’re the stars of their erotic imaginations.
While others think of their partners or celebrity crushes, autosexuals focus on themselves. They’re thinking of how their body twitches with arousing delight or how sexy their moans are while getting pleasured.
8You feel that the “autosexual” label fits you.
If you resonate with the signs above and are comfortable with being called an autosexual, then there’s a higher chance that you’re indeed an autosexual. We get that it’s not easy to admit having this orientation, especially if you’re already in a relationship. But knowing and accepting this orientation could work wonders for your sense of self and sex life.
What to Do If Your Partner Comes Out as an Autosexual
Has your partner recently become an autosexual, and you’re unsure what to do? We know that it can be confusing at first. Still, by following some of the tips below, you’ll be able to easily manage this situation and, hopefully, with no heartbreak involved.
1Keep calm and communicate.
When having the “coming out” conversation, it’s best to stay calm. Don’t assume that being an autosexual means that you’ll have to break up. Your partner still loves you; they’re just telling you about their orientation to keep transparency within the relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with asking questions, but avoid asking them things that may sound invalidating or offensive, such as:
- “Is that a new trend on TikTok or something?”
- “Are you really sure that you’re autosexual?”
- “Really? Is autosexuality even a real thing?”
- “Is there a way to get treatment for that?”
Let your partner talk about their experiences first. Listen to them without judgment and just take everything all in. After that, share your insights without invalidating or insulting their autosexuality.
If you want clarity about the relationship, go and ask about it; don’t keep it all in, then secretly resent them as time passes. The key to a healthy relationship is communicating with your partner.
2Remember that it’s not your fault.
It’s normal to feel slightly insecure after learning about your partner’s autosexuality. After all, we all want to be desired, so having a partner that has more sexual desire for themselves can sting.
The thing is, what they feel about themselves isn’t because of you. It’s not your fault. You’re good enough. Autosexuality is a sexual orientation. Just like homosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality, a person can’t choose to who they’re sexually attracted.
3Research more about autosexuality.
Aside from inquiring with your partner, we also recommend independently researching autosexuality, such as checking out articles, videos, online forums, and more. Educating yourself about it will help you understand your partner even more. This is also a good first step in showing support for their orientation.
4Respect and support their orientation.
Do you know the best thing to do to someone who came out as an autosexual? Let them know that you respect and support their orientation.
Autosexuals are already feeling a sense of shame as this orientation is linked to being vain and narcissistic. It’s also considered unconventional and taboo, so supporting them in exploring this autosexuality will mean a lot. Not only that, but them being able to figure out themselves can also benefit the relationship, as you’ll get to know them even more.
Frequently Asked Questions
We’ve answered some of the common questions about autosexuality below. If you have this orientation, we also suggest seeking further help from a sex therapist or counselor to learn more.
1Who coined the term “Autosexual?”
The term was first mentioned in the book “Principles and Practice of Sex Therapy.” It was published by Bernard Apfelbaum, a Ph.D. graduate in clinical psychology. In the book, autosexuality was described as a sexual abnormality. However, as time passed, it was gradually seen as a sexual orientation instead of a mental health condition.
2Is being autosexual the same as being autoromantic?
No, being autosexual is when you’re sexually attracted to yourself. On the other hand, being autoromantic means you’re in love with yourself, perceiving your relationship with yourself as something romantic.
3Is it necessary for me to come out as an autosexual?
You don’t need to come out if you’re not ready for it. It’s okay to wait till you’re ready. You don’t necessarily have to tell everyone you’re autosexual. However, it’s up to you whether you want to tell your friends and family about it or prefer to only tell your current or future partner.
4Can autosexual people still get pregnant or have sexually transmitted infections?
If they’re having unprotected sex with other people, it’s still possible for them to get pregnant or have STIs. This is why taking protection, such as condoms or birth control pills, is a must. As for autosexuals who prefer masturbating, you simply need to clean your sex toys before and after use (if you’re using one) to avoid potential bacterial infections.
5Are autosexuals comfortable with having sex with someone else?
Yes, autosexuals can enjoy doing the deed with other people. It’s just that they enjoy it more with themselves. However, there are some rare cases where an autosexual may only want to masturbate and not want anyone to be sexual with them.
Autosexuality is one of the most misunderstood orientations, as it’s linked with narcissism, asexuality, and other related topics. However, thanks to different sources, we’re slowly learning what autosexual being is all about.
For those with this orientation, it’s okay to see yourself that way. Embrace your sensuality, and don’t let judgmental people stop you from having fulfilling sexcapades. If you want to see more content related to sexual orientation or relationships, click here for more articles.