Disclaimer: This article is written specifically about Consensual Voyeurism. We do not promote non-consensual voyeurism or people with voyeuristic disorders. If you have the symptoms of Voyeuristic Disorder DSM-5 302.82 (F65.3), please seek help from a mental health professional immediately.
Does the idea of watching someone at their most private or vulnerable state turn you on? Clothes off, pleasuring themselves or others, or anything under that umbrella? Well babe, you’re definitely into voyeurism.
Now before you close the tab, hear us out. Voyeurism may be seen in a bad light, as a crime even, due to the invasion of privacy it can cause toward another person, but let’s not overgeneralize it as a bad thing. Thus, there’s a type of such called consensual voyeurism that many people enjoy and engage in, which we’ll discuss later.
So if you’re still here out of sheer curiosity or invested in giving voyeurism a try, then buckle up! This article is a deeper dive into the topic, its good and bad sides, and what safe activities to try when you’re ready for a sexy challenge in the bedroom.
What is Voyeurism?
Voyeurism is a fetish wherein one stems arousal from viewing another person doing something that’s commonly private or sexual. Whether they’re naked, taking their clothes off, or well, doing the deed, it’s like an erotic show that excites every fiber of your body. So screw your Netflix and Chill, you’d rather tune into those programs, especially when your partner “doesn’t know you’re there”.
The term you refer to yourself when you’re into this fetish is called a voyeur.
Types of Voyeurism
Overgeneralizing that all voyeurs are bad is not how you should put it. So we’ve listed the main types of voyeurism to keep an important eye out on.
1 Consensual Voyeurism
This type involves the voyeur with a consenting partner willing to strip down to their socks or touch themselves provocatively with a curious audience. Boundaries are established, and everyone is having a good time.
2 Non-consensual Voyeurism
This type is problematic as voyeurs inspect other’s privacy without their knowledge or consent. In-person or through video, they’re causing potential harm to their targets. Due to this, getting arrested and imprisoned are possible outcomes. Another situation to this is being diagnosed with voyeuristic disorder, a paraphilic disorder wherein a voyeur constantly goes overboard to peep on various, unconsenting people to calm their distress.
Why Do Some People Like Consensual Voyeurism
Ever wonder what goes on in a voyeur’s mind and how they get turned by these actions? Look no further, your “just why are into this” can be summarized with our top reasons below.
1 There’s thrill in enjoying what’s considered “taboo”.
Maybe not just taboo, but something that isn’t usually acceptable in society. Even if this generation is becoming more open-minded, it takes time before consensual voyeurism is truly noticed and welcomed. So since sex is usually a private activity between someone and their partner, people engaging in consensual voyeurism feel like a naughty girl/boy when they’re part of such an intimate moment. Yet you love it so much because there’s nothing perfect than watching lovers or whatever set-up a couple has rail the hell out of each other.
The same goes with masturbation, where the performing individual reaches their high, and the voyeur finds their orgasm-reaching expressions beautiful. Bonus points if the latter is also touching themselves to the sounds and movements of the consenting individual. Then as for being naked, it’s almost enchanting to see their every curve, flaw, birthmark, or every inch of their skin exposed for them.
2 It brings more spice to the bedroom.
A simple way to put why we explore different kinks and fetishes with our respective partners. Although sex doesn’t always have to be explosive and rough, no one likes it to get boring at some point. With consensual voyeurism, it introduces unique ideas that may have never graced your mind. Perhaps online pornography gave you a glimpse or two, but never did you consume or act on it.
What makes consensual voyeurism enticing is how much mental strength a voyeur must have when they watch their muse take to do mundane things. Or in this private case, undressing, pleasing themselves or others (with additional consent from the second parties). If these ideas (and more we’ll share later) have you on your toes, this is your sign to try the fetish out!
3 They get turned on more by visuals.
Sure, doing the deed with someone is fun and hot. But witnessing it unravel by your very eyes, capturing each graze and touch with your eyes like a lens, awakens a new kind of interest. These can be the same people who enjoy reading through erotic magazines and films, absorbing every sensual movement between a couple or individual towards themselves.
A picture is worth a thousand words, they say. So what more for a complete sex show for the voyeur? Worth a lot of self-inflicted orgasms.
4 They enjoy being in the company of others.
If you’re a social butterfly, that shouldn’t be limited to the bedroom. If you and your partner agreed to have a second party in your consensual voyeurism antics, it shouldn’t be hard to find interested people. In this age where a lot of people are deep into their sexual explorations or have open relationships, being accepting of extra people in the bedroom makes the whole experience fun. You’ll moan, groan, cry, and communicate how to make each other feel good.
Heck, if you’re the voyeur, you can command your special guest/s on how to please your partner. Then post-sex, you can debrief and ease yourselves back to normal. Sex is a normal activity, after all.
5 Their perfect sex experiences came from trying the fetish.
When you’ve experienced the best sex of your life, you’ll dissect every part to see why it was so mind-blowing. That way, you can re-do it however and whenever you please with your partner. So in this case, there are many ways to go about with consensual voyeurism. If any of them is the main star of your mind-blowing sexcapades, then don’t stop doing it! Make sure you’re extra safe (even if it’s consensual) and take it up a notch with your creativity.
Safe and Exciting Ways to Explore Consensual Voyeurism
On to the good part! Whether you’re a newbie or an experienced voyeur who’s running out of ideas, check out our list of adventurous ideas on engaging with consensual voyeurism. Again, make sure to get your partner’s consent before delving into them!
1 Watch your partner masturbate.
If you’re feeling bold for a newb, bring this idea up to your partner in your free time. It makes a great stepping stone before trying out more intense ideas, perfect for slow, proper build-up! Whether it’s in the confines of their bedroom or any secluded space in their home, settle on a chair across them as they fervently touch themselves to your pleasure.
2 Create a sex tape.
As voyeurs love the visuals of the sexual act, it feels like a perfect takeaway you can bring wherever you go. Make sure to comply with your partner and organize how you can go around it. From the plot (yes, roleplay), angles where to place the camera, and when and where it’ll be filmed, it’s always great to prepare beforehand, so things go smoothly.
However, filming one right on the spot when your emotions are on an all-time high is perfect too. Communicate with your partner prior, so they don’t get shy with the camera presence and as a gesture of respect.
Oh, another thing. Be careful where you watch your sex tape/s because it can either make people around you uncomfortable or attract unexpected audience. With the latter, it’s unfair to your partner as they trusted you to be the only viewer. So at best, keep it private like your sexy time.
3 Watch your partner have sex with another person.
Seeing your partner get tossed and turned around in bed by a second party excites the voyeur. This shows the different sides of their partner they’ve never seen and would want to incorporate in their sex life if given the chance.
The key point here is to find someone (preferable someone you and your partner are acquainted with) whose fetishes and kinks align with yours. Someone who isn’t judgemental of your interests is also crucial as it determines the tone of your relationship as a whole.
Once you find a second party who consented to join, bring up how many sessions they want to do with your partner. Whether once or more, it’s nice to be clear with your intentions. Once that’s settled, that’s where the erotic magic begins. So sit back, relax, and witness your partner bend over another person, whether they’re in the same room or listening in another room.
4 Watch voyeuristic porn or live cam shows.
Voyeuristic porn or live cam shows are an easier option on days you can’t see your partner or don’t even have one! Picture yourself arriving home after a long day at work/school, and you need sexual relief. All you gotta do is type in the search box of whatever porn site you like this fetish mentioned above, and you’ll receive a series of videos to choose from. Or if you’re lucky to find a creator live that day, you might as well tune in and lube up from the impending pleasure you’re bound to give yourself.
Subscribe to these kinds of voyeuristic channels too if you have an account, so you can always go back to them. Or if you’re financially off, pay extra for special content that only you and a selected few can access. Sexual care is self-care, after all.
5 Attend a sex party.
Voyeurs, this may be your new happy place. Sex parties are events where couples or singles do the deed with an audience watching them, joining even. They can occur in sex clubs, or if you have the connections, at someone’s home even. If you manage to get an invite to this kind of party, bring your partner and prepare to go all out and crazy!
Communicate with your partner if they’re also okay with being shared by other people or exploring other sexual partners during that evening while you (the voyeur) watch and get off. But voyeurs, don’t hesitate to insert yourself in the steamy situation if allowed to do so.
6 Undress each other.
Whether it escalates to sex or not, taking each other’s clothes off drives the emotions of the voyeur in an instant. Keep the burn strong by doing it slowly, piece by piece. Make sure you’re doing this in private, as doing it somewhere semi-public can get you in trouble by the law.
You can also try skinny-dipping in the water at night if you’re after the thrill of it. But still, be careful and observe the rules of the place before doing so!
7 Ask your partner to send intimate videos of themselves.
It can be a bummer if you suddenly get horny, and it can distress you, losing focus on your tasks for the day. But no worries; send a quick message to your partner if they can help you out. A text like “Hey babe, I have a problem here [send picture/s of your “problem”]. I need some help fixing, so will you be an angel and do so?” will suffice. Because there’s no way they can turn down such a naughty request, unless they’re busy of course. But c’mon, who wouldn’t make time for anything sexual?
Make sure that when you receive their videos, you should lower your phone’s brightness or excuse yourself to the restroom to play them. Or keep this kind of conversation in private mode so neither of you can compromise your safety.
8 Engage in mutual masturbation.
Take masturbation to another level.
Mutual masturbation is the act of masturbating with another person in the room with you. This can be done by touching yourselves side by side or further away, or letting your partner penetrate your genitalia and vice versa in the same atmosphere.
From a voyeur’s perspective, they can reach an orgasm while they peer over their partner, reaching their high too. It’s a bonding experience in a sense you’d both share the vulnerability of being naked together and learning more about each other’s body language without doing the deed.
9 Ask a couple or your taken friends if you can watch them do the deed.
If you’re single and running out of voyeuristic videos to watch, consider trying this idea. It may be a long shot if your friends aren’t open with their sex lives, but you can always ask them because you never know. However, you can search through dating apps or sex clubs if that doesn’t work out.
Sex is a part of life, and it’s impossible not to find people who aren’t down to express their sexual selves in person. Just double-check with them if it’s a-okay, then prepare yourself to get wet/hard!
10 Do voyeuristic roleplay.
Roleplay is a spicy idea on its own, so adding voyeurism into the mix increases pleasure and arousal. A scenario you can follow along with this is watching your partner take a shower.
Pretend your partner (the voyeur) just came home from work or an event and is ready to hit the hay. You beat them to it first when they’re trying to get into the shower. But instead of them doing other things and waiting for you to finish, they’d sneak behind the doors and “secretly” peek at them. Brushing their hair with shampoo or applying soap along your body, you can even start touching themselves intimately as if you’re all alone (when you’re aware they’re there). This scene can last long as you both please, or until your partner breaks character and joins you in the shower for good ol’ shower sex.
Frequently Asked Questions
Still want to learn more about consensual voyeurism? We gathered some frequently asked questions about this fetish and how to go around them.
1 How do I tell my partner that I want to try this fetish out?
If you and your partner trust each other strongly, look for the right time you’re both not busy and be straightforward about it. It’s important to be honest with your partner on everything, including sex. If you think your sex life hasn’t been exciting or you’re interested in something new, make sure to lay out ground rules when trying this fetish. That way, no one goes overboard the other’s boundaries. Or to make things easier, show this helpful guide to them and see where it goes from there.
2 I think a voyeur is watching me unsafely. What should I do?
Non-consensual voyeurism is a violation of someone’s humanity, and it should never be tolerated. Report this kind of incident to the authorities under The Anti-Photo and Video Voyeurism Act of 2009.
3 What are some important tips to keep in mind when engaging in this fetish?
As mentioned earlier, establish some ground rules; what you’d do and what not to do. Consensual voyeurism has an array of ideas to try that we stated above, so see where your limits stand. Make sure to communicate constantly, be sober, and take it slowly. Rather than doing it all at once, slowly build the tension up so no one falls behind.
4 Do voyeurism and exhibitionism co-exist with each other?
Yes. You can be a voyeur, have an exhibitionist partner, and vice versa. As voyeurism is the act of getting aroused from watching someone get naked or do the deed, exhibitionism is when one can get sexually off when an audience witnesses them act sexually.
5 I got fetish-shamed for liking this fetish. What do I do?
If you know that you’re not hurting anyone with it, then the harmful thoughts of others shouldn’t be your focus. We’ve laid the distinct differences between consensual and non-consensual voyeurism, and if you’ve ticked boxes on the good kind, then you should be good.
Remind yourself mostly that you should surround yourselves with more accepting and open-minded people regarding your sex life. But if that’s not an option, then don’t bring it up anymore to them. You can’t control how others react, but you can control how you respond to the situation.
Consensual voyeurism is quite experimental and adventurous, with new ideas here and there you can explore to your heart’s content. It may still be looked down on to try because of its negative kind, but as long you follow the main ground rules and know your limits, what’s stopping you? Good luck, be safe, and have fun!