What is Fisting: 30 Things You Should Know For Your First Fist!

We hear the term “fisting” pretty often – especially in a sexual context. But when you ask people what it actually means, very few people actually understand the activity. They imagine an entire clenched fist being inserted into their partner’s vagina or butthole, but that’s not always the case. During fisting, one partner carefully inserts their fingers to vaginally or anally stimulate their sexual partner. Today, we’ll be debunking a couple of misconception and discussing what you should know about this sexual play so you can enjoy it safely.

What is Fisting?

Fisting is when your partner enters your vagina or rectum using their fingers. It’s ideally done carefully as all five digits try to get past the threshold. Fisting is meant to provide pleasure, and that can vary from physical to psychological to emotional. The extreme fullness and intense pressure the fist puts on the G-spot or A-spot is exactly what they’re looking for. With the entire hand inside the hole, more tissue is simultaneously stimulated. This form of penetration allows for more eye contact and allows the giver to witness the receiver’s pleasure.

Debunking Common Fistconceptions

Fisting is not usually discussed in mainstream media, and that’s most likely why there are so many misconception about it. Here are a few myths we’re debunking about this niche sexual play.

1“Fisting is not intimate and is outright unhygienic.”

Fisting can affect different people in different ways. It can be primal for some, and spiritual for other. Fisting allows the individual to experience the limits of human physical pleasure. While there is some initial discomfort that happens during fisting, there are infinite possibilities for pleasure, and with this come the potential for deeper connections with your partner.

2“Fisting will permanently destroy your butt.”

Some people believe that anal fisting can can use permanent damage by tearing or stretching the tissue there. However, you should know that the tissue around that area is very elastic and in order to make anal fisting comfortable, the receiver must intentionally relax their muscles. Getting fisted can make you extremely vulnerable, and this can open you up toa more trascendental sexual experience.

3“Fisting causes constipation.”

It’s a myth that fisting causes constipation, of course, along with anal sex being inherently dangerous. If a person suffers from constipation, that should be addressed and not blamed on any anal sexual activity.

4“Fisting makes you loose.”

Getting loose down there can’t be attributed solely to fisting. Stretching muscles allow them to stretch further over time, but it still contracts to normal. Muscles are, after all, elastic. If you stop stretching those muscles, they eventually lose the ability to stretch that far and you will need to work back up to being able to take a fist again.

5“Like porn…You don’t need much foreplay when fisting.”

Remember that porn is fictional and they cut out a lot of the foreplay! Making sure you’re extremely aroused and ready for fisting can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hours. It all depends on what you and your partner are planning to do.

Things You Should Know About Fisting

Now that we’ve got the myths out of the way, it’s time to tackle the things you should know about fisting. Ready? Let’s begin!

1Yes, some people enjoy fisting!

Just knowing that they’ll be “stretched open” can excite some people. Fisting can be an incredibly intimate experience for lovers, and the phenomenon of seeing your entire hand inside your partner and feeling their inner heat and strength is something many people enjoy.

2There is vaginal fisting and anal fisting.

Because fisting can involve one of two entrances, the approaches to them differ, too!

Vaginal fisting is the act of vaginally penetrating someone with your entire hand. Contrary to what you’d initially imagine, the hand doesn’t look like it’s punching something when it’s going inside the vagina. All the fingers are straight and grouped as close together as possible.

For the receiver of vaginal fisting, the feeling can be fullness combined with sensual stretching. And for the fister, they can feel the receiver’s body stretch. This makes it a very intimate moment for those involved.

Anal fisting is when one partner inserts their entire hand into the anus of the other. Despite the name, the ‘fister’ does not make a fist with their hands before inserting it into the anal opening because that would be painful. Instead, when one engages in anal fisting, the fingers are fully extended, overlapping each other to create a mock dildo with the hand.

Fisting requires communication and a lot of experience. Have the receiver practice their anal muscles using anal beads, or their pelvic floor with Kegel exercises. Involving your partner in the journey to ready yourselves for fisting can help strengthen your relationship and make the culmination of all this training even better.

3Familiarize yourself with human sexual anatomy.

Understand human anatomy to protect yourself and your partner. We aren’t saying you have to go and become a doctor, but having an idea of all the important tissues and organs down there can definitely help you practice fisting safely. Here’s a thorough reading on the female and male sexual anatomy. And if you’re an audiovisual learner, here’s a crash course video on the female and male reproductive systems.

4No, fisting will not be like how it is in porn.

Porn stars are practiced and they do not do a scene without knowing how to do it well – even though what they show you on screen can make it seem different. Your fisting experience may be different from what you see on screen, but that doesn’t make it a failed experience.

5Know that everyone has started somewhere.

The most experienced fister has been a beginner too. Everyone has experimented and embraced or even disliked certain sensations that come with fisting. If you’re wary of trying it without some guidance, you can ask someone you’re close to that has had experience with fisting and ask them for some pointers.

6Learn the potential risks.

Fisting, like any sexual activity, also comes with risks if not done right. There are necessary steps you must take to minimize risks. 

Just like any other physical activity, making sure you stretch and properly prepare is important and may help lessen the risks. Ensuring that you’re lubed up enough is extremely important. Inserting your fingers slowly to make sure that you don’t cause major tears or abrasions in the muscle walls of your vagina and anus can help avoid too much discomfort after the act. Take your time and make sure you’re both familiar with what sensations feel good while being fisted. Avoid to much scratching and thrusting in teh vagina. And remember discomfort and fullness is different from pain! And if you’re unsure, ask for a break… or at the very least, more lube.

7Talk to each other through it.

Make sure you are telling each other what feels good and what doesn’t. Describe the sensations and be vocal about what you want your partner to do next – go slower, move more gently, stop moving, or even pull their fist back out.

8Fisting, if you’re a beginner, is best done with a partner.

While fisting solo can be done, it can be trickier too. If you’re a beginner, it’s best to try fisting with a partner first. While some folks worry that fisting is going to stretch out their vagina, that fear is unfounded. And if you’ve got the experience and want to do it solo, it is possible. We suggest following the same steps of taking it slow and lubing up. Then start fingering yourself with several of your fingers to help your vagina adjust to the sensation of girthier penetration.

9Trim your nails before fisting!

Hands touch everything and you never know how clean they are, so before you start fisting, you want to be as clean as possible. That includes trimming your nails short so that there aren’t any bacteria that can lurk under them and cause an infection. And keeping your nails short, rounded, and filed makes the fisting experience more comfortable, too.

10Lube up!

As someone who is just getting started with fisting, do the right research for your lube too! Find lubes explicitly made for toy play, and always do a “spot test.” Rub a small amount of your desired lube on the base of your toy and leave it for a few hours to see how it reacts. 

Lubricants are usually water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Water-based lubes are safe to use with condoms and sex toys but dries out quickly. Silicone-based lubes are long-lasting and work great for women with vaginal dryness and genital pain, but they are often expensive and can’t be used with silicone toys. Natural oil-based lubes are perfect for sensual massages but may destroy latex condoms, while synthetic oil-based lubes may be low-cost and great for massages but may stain fabric.

11Start small.

You learn fisting with butt plugs that gradually get you comfortable with the feeling of stretching your anal sphincter.  Your muscles should get accustomed to this feeling and enjoy it before you work up to larger insertables. And then — and only then — can you start playing with fingers. 

Plus, you may even find that the stretching process can be more fun than the actual fisting. You could also be surprised at how supple your skin is and how much you can do once you train your muscles to relax.

12It’s important to do it slowly and try simple positions at first.

Take your time with it. You don’t want to rush inserting all fingers into the hole. That would cause cuts and can be outright painful. 

Don’t force your body if you feel tired too. You can take multiple breaks if you want. Remember that fisting is supposed to be a pleasurable experience. Many beginners start on all fours, doggy-style. Try to relax, lie back and keep eye contact with your partner to cherish this intimate moment.

13Focus on foreplay.

For the fister, make sure your partner is very aroused before entry is a make-or-break behavioral requirement for fisting. This is a time for slow, patient, drawn-out foreplay. The more aroused your partner is, the more lubricated and, thus, accommodating their body will be to your hand. The uterus even lifts into the pelvic cavity for women, leaving more room in the vaginal canal. In addition to the physiological changes that occur during foreplay, the emotional mindset foreplay will help your partner be open and relaxed enough to take your fisting session.

14It’s okay to try multiple attempts.

It may take you multiple attempts to achieve good fisting. Remember that the goal of fisting is to reach pleasure, so enjoy the journey as you go along. You can practice with dildos for vaginal play and anal beads to practice the bum for actual fisting.

15Take frequent breaks.

If you’re not enjoying your initial sessions, cool it. Taking breaks can help you regain energy so you can enjoy the upcoming sensations much more. Even if you’ve been fisting for a while, it’s good to take frequent breaks — and sometimes necessary. Give your body and holes a rest.

16Pull out slowly.

When you notice your partner reaching climax, don’t pull your hand out too fast, especially after an orgasm. This is a common beginner mistake. It can be very painful if you pull out too fast after your partner has had an orgasm. Keep in mind that you will not be able to pull out your hand while it is still in a fist. You will have to go back to duck position to slide out and pull it out slowly to prolong your partner’s climax. Trust us. They’re going to love it if you do this.

17Play only with people you trust.

Fisting is one of the few kinks where experience level matters less than chemistry. You need to like him a little bit. He needs to like you a little bit. Before you play, talk. Get to know each other. It’s hard to be more intimate, more vulnerable, with someone else than when their hand is inside your body. Fisting is extreme intimacy, after all.

18Stay sharp when practicing fisting.

Respect your body’s natural limits by playing sharp and sober. Playing drunk or high masks your ability to detect pain and know when you’ve had enough, and you can wear out and even injure your body this way. While getting drunk have understandable appeal for all kinds of sex (not just fisting), masking pain is problematic, since pain tells you when you need to stop. When you’re new, it’s good to train sober so you know how it feels naturally. It will take more time and more effort without substances. That time and effort is worth it, at least until you build up some skill.

19Practice safety and hygiene by wearing gloves!

Washing your hands and forearms thoroughly is important too before every fist session! And while the infection potential of gloveless fisting is disputed among fisters, you should definitely start with gloves. Not only do gloves create a barrier blocking fluid contact, they also protect the bottom’s body from germs and other unpleasantries that may be on someone’s hand.

20Talk to fisters you know, they can share helpful input too!

25It helps to practice aftercare.

The fistee may feel sore after a fisting session, so keep in mind that this can be an intense experience. Be available for connection, closeness, and holding. Checking up on each other will help you both assess what just took place, what made you turned on, and what didn’t work. Plus, practicing aftercare will be a great moment for intimacy and openness for couples.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Now that you’ve learned everything to know about fisting, we understand that you may still have questions about it. So we’ve listed common questions and answering them here:

1Do you need to try bottoming to be a good fisting top? 

The best fisting tops are also fisting bottoms. But there are exceptions to that rule — some fisters are total tops who have never had receptive anal sex but know their way around a hole. That being said, fisting bottoms know what feels good and what doesn’t, and that intuition can make the experience so much better for when they top.

2What does a fisting orgasm feel like?

A fisting orgasm, if you’ve never heard or experienced it, is like this: A guttural roar from your lower body that spreads to every fiber of your being. It feels like a sustained, drawn-out howl with peaks and valleys, generated from absolute surrender and pleasure. It’s a beautiful, primal thing to witness.

3Do I need to keep eye contact in a fisting session? 

Remember to communicate as much as you need to, but keep in mind that real, wonderful fisting happens when words stop when you lock eyes, and when your bodies (and your body language) take over. A good fisting session tends to slip into silence, a mental and physical wonderland of gasps, moans, roars, and breathing. This is when the pleasure and beauty of fisting happens.

4Can fisting be intimate? 

The sensations fisting can offer can vary from person to person. A purely primal experience for one can be a transcendental type of pleasure for another. With fisting, you’re getting to experience the height of human physical pleasure. Once you get over the initial discomfort associated with fisting, the possibility for pleasure is infinite, and with that infinite pleasure comes the potential for a seriously intimate connection with your partner.

5I want to try fisting with my partner, but I still get scared of giving myself fully. How do I surrender? 

Recognize that everyone comes to this moment. So don’t feel bad when you do — it’s part of the journey. When this moment comes, practice letting go and trusting your partner. You’ll come to many moments like this when you fist, moments when you get scared, where it feels like they can’t go any further. If they are good at what they’re doing, they will know where you are and guide you through these moments, but you have to trust them. 

Takeaway

Fisting is great for those who thoroughly enjoy the sensation of full penetration, and it can be a great mode of sexploration for you and your partner. As long as you follow the points in this article and practice safety, both of you will be enjoying fisting in no time!

Share this article with your partner and try out the pleasures brought by fisting! And for more guides like this, visit the Lauvette page for more.