Wondering how to use a fleshlight? Looking for a new way to pleasure yourself with a masturbator? Well, you just came to the right place. For this guide, we will be discussing the ins and outs of a fleshlight. So if you’re planning to buy one, we suggest checking this one to know if this adult toy is the right solo play buddy for you.
What is a Fleshlight?
At first glance, this toy might look innocent. With the cap on, it simply looks like any regular flashlight. But once you’ve removed the cap, you will see that instead of a small bulb, it features a soft-textured vulva. It also has a small hole that you can penetrate your penis in.
A fleshlight is a sex toy that’s meant to simulate the feeling of penetrating a vagina. It features a flashlight-like outer shape, a realistic vulva with a hole in it, and a bunch of ridges and bumps inside for your maximum pleasure.
As for its material, the hard case is usually made with hard plastic. As for the inside sleeve, it’s made with medical-grade silicone or elastomer (TPE).
It comes in various shapes and sizes—some brands even offer fleshlights that are recreated from famous porn stars. There are also advanced fleshlight variants (also known as masturbators) that have vibrating features, warming features, or even audio features wherein someone is moaning as you play the toy.
History of Fleshlight
Did you know that fleshlights were invented by an ex-cop? Steve Shubin crafted this pleasure toy out of necessity, as his wife was having a high-risk pregnancy and was prohibited from having intercourse. As he still wants to satisfy his sexual urges, he asks his wife if it’s okay for him to use a sex toy. His wife agreed to it, as long as he won’t be using blowup dolls or other maliciously designed toys.
But instead of going to an adult shop, he went straight to his garage and started developing a sex toy for men that provides realistic sexual sensations and comes with a discreet design. As he wasn’t trained to become a sex toy inventor or anything related to manufacturing, he taught himself to create the perfect male toy.
After months of hard work, he eventually had a prototype of the first fleshlight. By 1998, he filed a patent for the fleshlight and described it as a “device for discreet sperm collection.” He was granted the patent. He continued developing the pleasure until it was ready to launch, and the rest is history.
How to Use a Fleshlight
As you’ve read our refresher above, you’re probably pumped to use a fleshlight. Heck, you’ve probably bought one already and just looking for detailed instructions. Well, we got you covered, pal. Here are 5 simple steps on how to use a fleshlight.
Before you use your fleshlight, take some time to prepare your environment and the toy. First, remove all distractions and lock the door—you don’t want your roommate seeing your pumping in and out of a plastic canister. Second, check if the fleshlight if it’s spotlessly clean. Is the toy already in tip-top shape? Good. Then, check if the lube is within reach.
Also, if you have some extra time, we highly suggest putting the inside sleeve in warm (not boiling hot) water. This will simulate the warmth of a vagina, giving a more realistic feel to it once you thrust it in.
Though this is probably the dullest part of the whole thing, this is a vital step when using fleshlights (and other sex toys for that matter). By not preparing enough, you might end up getting interrupted because of a phone call or because you couldn’t remember where your lube is.
2Get in the mood.
Once you’ve prepared everything, it’s time to get into the fun part. Start the deed by getting yourself aroused. It’s up to you on how to turn yourself on, but here are some suggestions.
- Check some pornographic content.
- Fire up your imagination and imagine a frisky scenario.
- Indulge in steamy sexting.
- Remember your hottest sexual encounter ever.
- Simply look at the fleshlight, then start fingering it.
3Use lots of lube.
All turned up? Great. Before thrusting in this adult toy, put lots of lube on the inside sleeve and on your penis to have a smooth experience. The amount of lube depends on the toy and your preferred sensation.
As for the lubricant type, we highly suggest using a water-based lube. Steer away from silicone-based and oil-based lube as it can damage the inside sleeve.
4Gently thrust your penis in.
You’re all heated up. You’re imagining to bang your favorite cam girl. The fleshlight is all lubed up. Lying on your back, grab the toy and manually stroke it in and out of your penis. Close your eyes and feel all the pleasurable sensations.
As for the depth and the pace, we suggest experimenting until you find the right speed and depth. Now, if your fleshlight has a small hole on the backside, you can use your fingers to cover and uncover the hole. Doing can give a suction sensation that will surely make you cum in minutes. You can also remove the fleshlight from the case entirely and let your hand adjust the tightness.
5Move the fleshlight back and forth until climax.
It feels good, isn’t it? After inserting the fleshlight, you can move the toy in a back-and-forth motion to simulate the feeling of your penis thrusting inside a vagina/anus/mouth. Keep on making the same motion until you reach the big O. After that, proceed with cleaning the device, or you can go for another round!
How to Clean & Store Your Fleshlight
After having steamy fun with your fleshlight, make sure to clean it. Keeping it unclean for long periods can cause some mishaps. For example, bacteria may stick and thrive on the sleeve’s surface. Below are the steps on how to clean your fleshlight
1Remove the inner sleeve.
The first thing to do is gently remove the soft inner sleeve from the casing. Emphasis on the word “gently” as yanking it can cause some minor damage to the sleeve. It’s also better to check the toy’s manual and see how to properly remove the sleeve; some sleeves can be removed by pulling motion, while others require twisting or rotating.
2Wash the hard case.
After removing the sleeve, clean the hard case first. Rinse the fluids at the bottom of the case with mild water and soap. Wipe the excess water with a towel, then let it air dry on the side.
3Rinse the remaining fluids in the sleeve.
Rinse the fluids of your inner sleeve with warm water. Don’t add any product to it yet, just water. Gently scrubs the sleeve to remove any stuck lube or ejaculation on the nubs and ridges of the sleeve. We also recommend putting the sleeve opening right below running water and letting it overflow for a few seconds.
4Use a cleaner that’s appropriate for the sleeve’s material.
After rinsing the fluids, use an appropriate sex toy cleaner for your fleshlight. If you’re using the authentic fleshlight made with superskin, never use any cleaner with soap or detergent; it’ll ruin the surface of your sleeve and wouldn’t feel as good anymore. After applying the cleaner, gently scrub the inner sleeve again. Rinse it off with water.
5Shake off excess water and let it air dry.
While it’s okay to wipe the hard case with a towel or tissue, it’s not recommended when cleaning the inner sleeve. Just shake the water off and let it air dry. Don’t put out direct sunlight.
6Add renewing powder or other suggested aftercare products.
Use the recommended fleshlight aftercare products, such as the Fleshlight Renewing Powder. These products can help retain the quality and supple texture of the inner sleeve.
7Return the sleeve to its casing and store it in a secure spot.
Once the fleshlight sleeve is all dried up, return it to the case. Keep it in a dry, cool, and secure place, preferably away from the children and pets. Great storing spots would be the closet, bathroom closet, and bedside drawer.
Classic & Creative Ways of Using a Fleshlight
Did you know that there are other ways to use a fleshlight aside from manual stroking? Here are the other ways to use this alluring toy.
If you want to feel like you’re pounding someone in a missionary position, place your fleshlight under a pillow, get into position and start thrusting in and out of the toy.
If you like to pump in and out of the toy ala doggy style, simply put the toy between the base of the bed and the mattress. Get on your knees and start thrusting in and out of the toy. You can also do this position by putting the fleshlight under the cushions of your couch.
This may require some additional devices but the payoff on this one can be glorious. To use a fleshlight on the shower, purchase a fleshlight shower mount. Connect the mount and the fleshlight as instructed. After that, mount the fleshlight on your shower wall. The height depends on your preferred position.
Once you’ve mounted the fleshlight, you can start thrusting in and out of the toy, via standing or doggy-style position.
Yes, you can involve your partner in this. Mutual masturbation is fun yet underrated activity that can spice up the bedroom. To do this, simply ask your partner to masturbate with their preferred sex toy while you masturbate with a fleshlight. Watch each other until both of you reach climax. There are different techniques, positions, and approaches for this—experimenting is the key. You can also check our mutual masturbation guide below.
If you’re looking for a simple yet effective way to use your fleshlight, we suggest trying lying on your side while using it. Just to your usual stroking with your hand or use a sex toy pillow/wedge or a pile of pillows to keep the fleshlight in place and start thrusting it— it just feels like you’re having sex in a spooning position!
Want to make the most out of your fleshlight? Incorporating anal toys is the key! For this type of play, you’ll get to experience double pleasure, as you’re stimulating your penis and prostate gland at the same time. Just get a vibrating butt plug or prostate massager, insert it in your anus and turn it on while you stroke the fleshlight in and out of your schlong.
You can also experience double pleasure with a partner. Just go in a doggy position (all fours) and ask your partner to penetrate you from behind while you’re stroking your cock with the fleshlight.
Most fleshlights are designed with a suction control opening, a small hole at the end or at the side of the fleshlight. Don’t just ignore this feature, as opening and closing the suction hole can make a huge difference in how a fleshlight feels. Simply cover and uncover the hole with your fingers to control the pressure and suction.
8Oral With a Twist
Another great way to use a fleshlight is by using it while giving oral to your partner. With this type of play, you’ll be able to please yourself and your partner simultaneously. Just ask your partner to go to a comfy spot wherein you can access their genitals. Sit down or kneel in front of them, lean over, and start giving them oral. While performing oral on your lover, start sliding the fleshlight in and out of your penis.
Tips When Using a Fleshlight
Now that you’ve learned the different ways to use a fleshlight, we can sense trying this pleasure product. But before you head over to our product page to browse our bestselling fleshlights, we recommend checking out these tips first. This ensures you’ll get the most out of your fleshlight and keep you cumming back for more.
1Use a condom for easier cleanup.
If you want to use your fleshlight for multiple rounds without thoroughly cleaning it, you can opt for using a condom. Once you’re done with the deed, you can just remove the condom on, throw it away, and wear a new one once you’re ready to play. Then you can just clean the inner sleeve after you’re fully finished with the session.
Another great thing about condoms is that most models are pre-lubricated. So if you happen to not have a bottle of lubricant in your room, you can just grab some condoms, and you’re good to go.
2Spice the play with stimulants.
Want to amplify the sensation you’re experiencing during fleshlight play? Opt for stimulants! These pleasure products come with warming and cooling effects, making your penis more sensitive during the deed. You can use them as a lubricant instead of good ‘ol water-based lube.
3Try different models of fleshlights.
One of the common misconceptions about fleshlights is that every model feels the same. That’s not necessarily the case, as every model has its own set of ribbed textures and pleasure nubs. Fleshlights don’t also solely emulate the feeling of vaginal penetration; some models simulate the feeling of anal sex or blowjob.
So instead of sticking to one model of fleshlight, why not have your own collection of these sultry devices. Having multiple models will surely make the play new and fresh every single time.
4Incorporate other sex toys in the deed.
Aside from trying various fleshlight models, we also recommend mixing other sex toys while playing your fleshlight! Using love toys can help you experience dual stimulation or amplify your sensations. Some of the pleasure toys you can mix in with fleshlights are nipples clamps, anal dildos, butt plugs, anal beads, nipple clamps, and cock rings.
5Play it with virtual reality adult games.
Want to have that full sensory experience while playing your fleshlight? If you have the extra budget, get yourself virtual reality glasses and play adult VR games! There are now tons of websites offering various wild VR games, such as SinVR and Holodexxx. What’s great about playing VR with fleshlight is that you’ll get to fulfill your sensual fantasies with it.
Lauvette’s Top Fleshlight Picks
You’ve learned the basics. You’ve garnered the tips. By this time, you’re now ready to play with this sultry toy. If you’re unsure of what to get from our fleshlight collection, don’t worry, as we’ve listed five of the best fleshlights for beginners.
1Fleshlight Original – Pink Lady
If you’re new to fleshlights, you’ve got to try the classic first. The Fleshlight Original – Pink Lady is one of the first fleshlights launched in the market and has amassed a cult following of self-pleasure enthusiasts.
It has an insertable length of 8.5 inches, comes in a jet black casing, and has superskin-made inner sleeves. What’s great about this pleasure toy is that it doesn’t have those complicated nubs and ridges— it actually emulates the surface of a real vagina.
2Fleshlight Girls – Stoya Destroya
The Fleshlight brand is known for its fleshlights molded from popular adult film stars, such as Stoya. If you’re a big fan of her work, you might want to have a taste of her through the Fleshlight Girls – Stoya Destroya. She’s ready to please your hard-on, as the sleeve comes with multiple nubs, swirls, and ridges. It also comes with a seductive opening molded from Stoya’s vulva.
3Fleshjack Boys – Brent Corrigan Bliss
Are you into anal play? Don’t worry, as Fleshlight has also developed anal toys, such as the Fleshjack Boys – Brent Corrigan Bliss. It has an insertable length of 7.25 inches and is made with realistic superskin; it’s like doing it with the real thing. It comes in a silver-blue casing and realistic anus, molded from adult performer Brent Corrigan.
4Satisfyer Men Classic
The Satisfyer Men Classic features a Cyberskin-made inner sleeve that adapts to all sizes. It also has an innovative internal pressure regulator that creates a varying suction effect. Not only that, but this sophisticated toy comes with a sleek casing— perfect for fleshlight beginners!
5Satisfyer Men One
The Satisfyer Men One is the perfect fleshlight for the modern man, featuring a soft silicone sleeve with various resistance sensations that inspire you to feel visceral ecstasy. It comes with a unique pump function, allowing you to adjust the tightness of the sleeve. This toy has a pressure regulator and a pump feature, providing a pleasurable suction effect during your plays.
6Bailey Mouth Masturbator
If you’re looking for a fleshlight that simulates the feeling of a blowjob, look no further. The Bailey Mouth Masturbator is here to meet your sensual demands! It has an exciting mouth opening to create the feeling of a BJ and is designed with an internal sleeve that’s napped and ribbed for maximum stimulation. If you want to bring this on your trips, don’t worry about it, as this masturbator comes with a discreet casing.
7Quinn Vagina Masturbator
You can never go wrong with the classic. The Quinn Vagina Masturbator is a classic vaginal sex simulator featuring a realistic appearance of the vulva and a flesh-like texture of a vagina. It also comes with a discreet casing and flexible internal sleeve, leaving you breathless with every thrust!
Are you looking for an affordable and practical masturbator? You’ll definitely love the Lexi Masturbator. It has two openings on each end— one’s a vagina, and the other end is an anus. You’ll get to experience the best of both worlds with this one!
Frequently Asked Questions
As you’ve reached the end of this guide, you’re most likely ready to use a fleshlight. However, if there are still questions lingering in your mind about this mighty toy, no worries as we have answered some frequently asked questions about fleshlights. Read on!
1Is there a difference between a masturbator and a fleshlight?
The term fleshlight and masturbator are used interchangeably by various sex shops and other resources. Now, they’re basically on the same realm of sex toys for men but here are some notable differences between these two devices.
- Fleshlights are usually made with a hard case and an inside sleeve. A masturbator doesn’t need to be designed with a hard case.
- Fleshlights is designed with a realistic vulva on its opening. A masturbator can have other designs in its opening.
- Both fleshlights and masturbators have ridged textures inside, but masturbators have heating and vibrating capabilities.
2What are the things I should consider when buying a fleshlight?
For starters, you need to determine your needs. Do you want to feel like having vaginal, anal, or oral sex? Do you like a fleshlight with vibrating or heating features on it? Would you prefer a variant that is compact or a heavy-duty type? Maybe you want a masturbator instead?
Here the questions that you need to answer before getting a fleshlight. As for the budget, we suggest investing in more expensive variants. Cheaper fleshlights can break down easily and are usually made with toxic and porous materials.
3Is it possible to get my penis stuck inside a fleshlight?
If you’re hesitant to use a fleshlight because you’re afraid to get your penis stuck inside, we’re here to clarify that fleshlights don’t work like that. It’s not some trap so take a chill pill, buddy.
Now, let’s say you got into that situation, what we can suggest is that you get into the shower and get cold water in it. The water will get inside the sleeve and loosen up the toy. But again, this is like a one-in-a-million case. As long as you’re using the fleshlight properly, there’s nothing to worry about.
4Can I use a hairdryer to dry my fleshlight?
We get that you want the toy to dry up quickly but for the love of your fleshlight, don’t do that. The material of the inside sleeve is pretty sensitive, so by using a hairdryer to dry up the toy, you might end ruining the material.
5I didn’t like how a fleshlight feels. What should I do?
It’s normal for a first-timer to feel a sense of weirdness or discomfort when using a sex toy. Now if you’ve tried the fleshlight and don’t like how it feels, we suggest giving it a second try. Experiment with different techniques and positions. If you still don’t like it, then maybe this sultry toy isn’t your cup of tea. Check other sex toys instead.
Fleshlights are considered the crowd favorites in the realm of masturbators and other male sex toys. After all, who doesn’t want a sex toy that can simulate the feeling of thrusting a vagina? It also comes in various textures, vulva openings, and even special features that fit in with your kinks and preferences.
Just remember to use a fleshlight that is body-safe and non-porous for a safe experience. Also, lube is your friend! Don’t forget to use it during the deed. Happy thrusting!