Knowing how to finger yourself is one of the most important skills of self-pleasure a woman can possess. Not only would it make you in tune with your body, but it means you are aware of what you want from sex. There is no shame in learning how to finger yourself but because female masturbation is still seen as a taboo topic, it means many women still don’t know how to do it. Fret not fingering newbies, we have written the ultimate comprehensive guide, teaching you female anatomy, steps, tips and techniques to fingering that will surely make you reach that “O” :
Female Sexual Anatomy 101
For starters, familiarizing yourself with the Female Sexual Anatomy is the key to exploring self-pleasure and finding your erogenous zones. With that being said, let’s get on to learning the important external and internal parts of the female genitalia.
Vagina External Anatomy
The external anatomy also known as the vulva is often mistaken with the vagina; it is comprised of 7 important parts which are:
The clitoris is the female organ for pleasure. It is the tiny nub of flesh full of nerve endings. The clitoris is made of the same erectile tissue as the penis and it engorges with blood once stimulated.
Found on top of a woman’s vagina, the clitoral hood is the flap of skin that covers the clitoris.
Also known as the large lips of flesh that folds the skin, enclosing the external parts of the vulva. The Labia majora has sebaceous glands and sweat that help produce lubrication for the pussy.
Also known as the small lips, the labia minora is the tiny amount of flesh found inside the labia majora. It also protects other external parts of the vulva. It also plays a crucial role in pleasure since it swells and becomes sensitive to the touch once aroused.
Similar to the clitoris this part is also very sensitive. It is found just below the clit, the entrance that leads to a hollow tube found in your internal anatomy called the vagina which we will be discussed further below.
This is the part where the pee goes out. Touching this can be pleasurable but not as much as stimulating the clit.
This part also contains pleasurable nerve endings if you want to give yourself some anal fingering.
Vagina Internal Anatomy
Now that you learned the external parts of the vulva, you can now familiarize yourself with the internal anatomy of your genitalia. As you learn these special spots, fingering yourself for pleasure will be easy peasy.
This is the hollow tube that connects your vulva to your uterus and cervix. This part may be tight at first if never penetrated prior, though it expands and stretches once you are aroused. Once aroused, the mucous membranes within the walls of the vagina release a fluid that mixes with other bodily secretions. With stimulation, the vaginal muscles contract leading up to a highly pleasurable orgasm.
The g-spot is found inside the anterior wall of your vagina. It contains ridges that help you find this very spot. Be sure that you are extremely horny before rubbing this spot.
This is the deeper spot, well beyond the commonly known G-spot. This is found on the anterior wall of your cervix. There would certainly be powerful orgasms once this is stimulated right.
This is found at the end of the vagina that separates the uterus and vagina. This part is very sensitive and there would be some pain once this is stimulated. It is important to note that exploration and mindfulness of how you feel with your body is key to finding your own pleasure.
Since we are in the realm of fingering, we will include the rectum. If you end up enjoying fingering your anus, you can definitely play with this part. Just remember to use lube first since the anus does not self-lubricate.
Tips for Preparation
So you’ve learned the anatomy of the female genitalia, it’s time to prepare for the fingering action!
Do you feel like you never have the time for self-pleasure? Allot time for yourself and put it on your calendar. After all, we make time for things that are significant to us. Allow yourself the time for your own pleasure.
Practice cleanliness before, during, and after fingering. Have clean hands and trip your nails before starting any hand action on your vulva to avoid infection. After fingering you must also practice washing your hands and your external genitalia.
Prep your lube
The lubricant has the power to make everything feel a lot better. Adding lube to solo fingering or lovemaking can increase pleasure. You can use a drop at the beginning and reapply as needed.
Take a good peek
A good prepping approach to fingering is going at it with a curious and open mind. Set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes, grab a hand mirror, and get acquainted with not just the feel, but more so the look of your genitalia. Slowly move your fingers around your thighs and to your vulva. Play with your labia, move them around-get a good feel of your body.
Invest in sex toys
It’s a fact that women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. While this article is about fingering, it won’t hurt to get help from sex toys.You can use a vibrator in case your fingers get tired. Just place the tip/head of the vibrator to the clitoris and you’re good to go. You can also use non-vibrating toys such as nipple clamps and kegel balls for maximum pleasure.
How to Finger Yourself: Step-by-Step Guide
If you’re a complete beginner at fingering, we have written these steps to get you started. Take note that you can further explore and switch things up and these are the simple steps that will help you get going in your fingering journey:
Step 1: Getting in the mood
Getting aroused is the key to blissful fingering. Make sure to never skip this part. Without getting aroused, your orgasms will not be as intense, and you definitely would want your first orgasm to be explosive, right?
Relax and free your mind from stress.
When you are stressed and have fatigue, it can be difficult to feel sexy and aroused.
Being in a quiet space and not be disturbed is vital. It can be your bedroom but if you share your room with someone else, then you may need to use the shower or bathroom as your private place to try fingering techniques.
Find a comfortable space to perform.
While privacy is important, a cozy location is also key! Choosing a comfy place to let loose and masturbate is one the most essential rules in fingering so you can reach that high.
Indulge in your fantasy.
This means thinking about what gets you aroused. Get in a headspace where you will fantasize about a particular scenario that gets you going. This could be through reading or listening to erotica or it could be the things you would be doing with a certain person.
Stimulate your senses.
If thinking about your wild fantasies won’t suffice, there are a lot of things you can do to get in the mood. Here are some of the activities that you can try beforehand that will sexually stimulate your senses.
- Light scented candles
- Burn incense
- Watch porn
- Listen to music that turns you on
- Read or listen to some romance books or audio erotica
Step 2: Time for Some Teasing
Now that you’re aroused, it’s time to finger yourself. Begin by lowering your hand from your breasts, down your stomach until you feel your clitoris as discussed in the female sexual anatomy portion. Start making gentle circular motions on your clitoris. Then gently run your fingers down the sides of your vagina, over the outer and inner labia. Some women can orgasm from this step alone.
Step 3: Lube up!
The last thing you want is a blister down there. If you find that you are not releasing enough natural lubricants and things get dry, do not hesitate to use lube!
Step 4: Start Fingering
Below your clit, using one finger you will feel fleshy folds of skin on either side of your vagina which is your labia.Start lightly trailing a finger or 2 all over your labia. Most women find it easy as they rub their labia, they start to naturally get wet if they are already turned on. This wetness acts as a lubricant on your fingers (or if that’s not enough you can use lube!) As the natural lube covers your fingers, start slowly pressing the tip of your fingers in and out of your vagina. While pushing your finger in and out, it will be covered in more lubrication, allowing you to slide your finger deeper into your vagina walls. Run your fingers slowly along the walls of your vagina and pay attention to what feels most pleasurable to you.
Step 5: Keep a good rhythm
Keeping a good rhythm on your vulva helps build momentum to a solid orgasm.It’s up to you if you want it fast, slow, or have a specific pattern when fingering yourself.
Step 6: Switch it up
Switch up your rhythm and mix up the tempo of your hand. Learn to alternate hands if your dominant hand is losing momentum. Once you get pro at your fingering game, practice your less dominant hand to get into the groove of how to help you get off.
Step 7: Change positions for various sensations
Avoid remaining in the standard “starfish” position, in consideration of your surroundings you can turn over into doggy and reach underneath to get new sensations and an exciting angle of your pussy. Trying a new angle helps stimulate your bud below and you might just learn new sex positions in the process. Take note though, there is no single “correct way” in fingering. What you would find most pleasurable will be different from what others enjoy. Focus on the movements that satisfy you the most and do not worry too much about doing it “correctly”. Moreover, it’s not a matter of going as deep as you can. Fingering should be about you getting as much pleasure as possible and as a beginner, you have the freedom to experiment with how deep you like it.
Now that you’ve learned the basic steps to fingering, let’s move on to the fingering techniques that you can use:
Fingering your G-spot
We’ve discussed the G-spot in the female sexual anatomy portion but how do you exactly find this spot? To find your G spot with your fingers, you must be fully aroused so that the spot gets all swelled up. After that, slide your palm down to your vagina. Then use 1 or 2 fingers to enter your vagina and curl them backward. Once, they are 2-3 inches deep inside, you should be able to feel your G-spot on your fingertips. It will feel a bit different from the rest of your vagina. It should have a ribbed texture, but soft to the touch. Focus on rubbing your G spot to get intense orgasms.
This technique works well if you are yet to experience G-spot and vaginal orgasms. The problem many women face is that they just can’t place enough pressure on their G-spot when they’re fingering themselves or when they’re having intercourse. The solution is very simple..you need to squeeze your G-spot from the other side. Once you’ve found your G-spot, place your other hand atop your mons pubis which is found just above your pubic bone. Softly push down so you can feel your G spot protruding into your vagina much deeper than normal. You’ll realize that this makes it more convenient to provide yourself more G spot stimulation.
Finger from Behind
Put your hand down your lower back, over your anus, and then to your vagina. Once you’ve entered your vagina, curl your finger backwards, this will stimulate the opposite side, or the posterior wall, of your vagina to your G spot
This technique works best if you are someone who struggles to reach orgasm when masturbating. This requires the use of both your hands. Your first hand will be fingering your G spot while the other hand will be rubbing, caressing,and massaging your clit.
Start with one spot in your vagina and simply drag your finger in a stroking motion. Then bring your finger back in the starting point and repeat the process. Make sure to experiment with the length and speed of your strokes along with the amount of pressure you apply for extended satisfaction.
Push your Buttons
Pressing and holding pressure on specific spots can be very pleasurable. This is particularly true for areas like your G spot and A-spot. Once you find an area that responds nicely to prolonged pressing, try experimenting by maintaining the same amount of pressure with your fingertips for several seconds. Try repeatedly pressing that area like you are pressing a button repeatedly.
If you need more stimulation, this technique should do the trick. Rub your four fingers over your labia, clit in a circular motion. Using your natural lubrication or some lube with this will make your fingers slippier and much more satisfying.
Some women have a sensitive clitoris that hurts when it is touched. If you are one of them, then no matter how softly you rub it, it will hurt and won’t be pleasurable to you at all. Lucky for you, there is a simple solution to this. You just need to rub your clitoral hood instead. This way, your clitoral hood acts as a buffer between your fingers and you can get pleasurable stimulation. After all, just like a penis, your clit becomes erect when aroused.
Side to Side
This technique involves focusing your fingers over your vulva. As the name suggests, you need to rub your finger from side to side over your clit. Some women prefer barely touching this part while others need intense contact in this area to pleasure themselves. As always you’ll need to try many different variations for yourself to see what you prefer.
Up and Down
This fingering technique also involves focusing on the clit, all you need is to take a finger and start rubbing up and down on one side of it. If you want more stimulation, try rubbing your finger directly over your clit. Of course, you can experiment with how hard and fast you rub your finger and the length of the strokes.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is fingering safe?
Fingering is a safer type of sex, it is especially safe if you’re doing it with yourself. It is important to make sure you practice proper hygiene and you are good to go.
Can I get STD from fingering?
Fingering is considered low-risk, safer sex, this means there’s only a small chance of spreading infection. The risk should be low if you are doing it with yourself and you are practicing cleanliness. So fingering is a safer kind of sex but it isn’t completely risk-free.
Does fingering lead to pregnancy?
There’s a very small chance of starting a pregnancy unless semen gets on one’s finger and that finger is put immediately into the vagina. And since this article is a guide for you ladies to finger yourselves, simply washing your hands before and after touching yourself and washing your pussy should suffice.
What are the risks from fingering?
Fingering is normally not a high risk of any disease. An infection can take place when there is a fresh open cut on the finger, then there would be some risk of infection if any bacteria or vaginal secretion gets direct access to that opening.
Can I finger myself during my period?
Yes, you can finger yourself while on your period. It may get a bit messy so you may need a towel on hand to be prepared. Some women find that having an orgasm helps relieve their menstrual cramps and other PMS-related pain.
I still can’t find my G-spot, what do I do?
It is perfectly fine if you can’t find your G-spot in your initial try. Take time to study our tips and techniques mentioned in this comprehensive guide. Self-pleasure takes practice and exploration so give yourself some time.
What are the benefits of lubricants?
Lubricants are designed to enhance sexual function and arousal. They are a great way to spice things up with yourself or your partner or to set the mood.
Is there any lubricant to avoid entirely?
Oil-based lubricants are unsafe to use as they can cause vaginal irritation. You should also limit the use of lubricants with flavoring or fragrance since they have chemicals like glycerin that may cause irritation.
How should I select the lubricant for me?
Not all vaginal lubricants are created equal. Some brands work better for you than others, depending on what you need. For example, if you’re dealing with dryness, long-lasting silicone lubricants are best for you. If you’re going to finger in the shower, opt for a silicone-based lubricant. Water-based products will rinse off as soon as you’re under the showerhead. Or if you’re going to use a sex toy, we recommend using a water-based lubricant. If your sex toys are made of silicone, steer away from silicone-based lubricants since it can damage your toys in the long run.
How do I use lubricant effectively?
There is no “right” way to use lubricant but there are some things you can do to ease the process:
- Lay down a towel to avoid staining.
- Warm up the lubricant in your hands before applying.
- Apply lubricant right before fingering or any penetration.
- Reapply as needed.
As for our takeaway, fingering yourself is one way of indulging in self-pleasure. Doing this alone lets you learn about what your body feels and being in tune with your sexuality. As mentioned earlier, Fingering yourself is not about how deep you get. It’s about finding the techniques and positions that work for you.Now, find your private comfy spot, relax and start applying the tips and techniques in this ‘how to finger yourself’ guide.