Knowing how to finger yourself is one of the most important skills of self-pleasure a woman can possess. Not only would it make you in tune with your body, but it means you are aware of what you want from sex. There is no shame in learning how to finger yourself but because female masturbation is still seen as a taboo topic, it means many women still don’t know how to do it. Fret not fingering newbies, we have written the ultimate comprehensive guide, teaching you female anatomy, steps, tips and techniques to fingering that will surely make you reach that “O” :
Female Sexual Anatomy 101
For starters, familiarizing yourself with the female sexual anatomy is the key to exploring self-pleasure and finding your erogenous zones. With that being said, let’s get on to learning the important external and internal parts of the female genitalia.
The external anatomy also known as the vulva is often mistaken with the vagina; it is comprised of 7 important parts which are:
The clitoris is the female organ for pleasure. It is the tiny nub of flesh full of nerve endings. The clitoris is made of the same erectile tissue as the penis and it engorges with blood once stimulated.
Found on top of a woman’s vagina, the clitoral hood is the flap of skin that covers the clitoris.
Also known as the large lips of flesh that folds the skin, enclosing the external parts of the vulva. The Labia majora has sebaceous glands and sweat that help produce lubrication for the pussy.
Also known as the small lips, the labia minora is the tiny amount of flesh found inside the labia majora. It also protects other external parts of the vulva. It also plays a crucial role in pleasure since it swells and becomes sensitive to the touch once aroused.
Similar to the clitoris this part is also very sensitive. It is found just below the clit, the entrance that leads to a hollow tube found in your internal anatomy called the vagina which we will be discussed further below.
This is the part where the pee goes out. Touching this can be pleasurable but not as much as stimulating the clit.
This part also contains pleasurable nerve endings if you want to give yourself some anal fingering.
Now that you learned the external parts of the vulva, you can now familiarize yourself with the internal anatomy of your genitalia. As you learn these special spots, fingering yourself for pleasure will be easy peasy.
This is the hollow tube that connects your vulva to your uterus and cervix. This part may be tight at first if never penetrated prior, though it expands and stretches once you are aroused. Once aroused, the mucous membranes within the walls of the vagina release a fluid that mixes with other bodily secretions. With stimulation, the vaginal muscles contract leading up to a highly pleasurable orgasm.
The g-spot is found inside the anterior wall of your vagina. It contains ridges that help you find this very spot. Be sure that you are extremely horny before rubbing this spot.
This is the deeper spot, well beyond the commonly known g-spot. This is found on the anterior wall of your cervix. There would certainly be powerful orgasms once this is stimulated right.
This is found at the end of the vagina that separates the uterus and vagina. This part is very sensitive and there would be some pain once this is stimulated. It is important to note that exploration and mindfulness of how you feel with your body is key to finding your own pleasure.
Since we are in the realm of fingering, we will include the rectum. If you end up enjoying fingering your anus, you can definitely play with this part. Just remember to use lube first since the anus does not self-lubricate.
What You’ll Need
So you’ve learned the anatomy of the female genitalia, it’s time to prepare for the fingering action!
Do you feel like you never have the time for self-pleasure? Allot time for yourself and put it on your calendar. After all, we make time for things that are significant to us. Allow yourself the time for your own pleasure.
Practice cleanliness before, during, and after fingering. Have clean hands and trip your nails before starting any hand action on your vulva to avoid infection. After fingering you must also practice washing your hands and your external genitalia.
The lubricant has the power to make everything feel a lot better. Adding lube to solo fingering or lovemaking can increase pleasure. You can use a drop at the beginning and reapply as needed.
A good prepping approach to fingering is going at it with a curious and open mind. Set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes, grab a hand mirror, and get acquainted with not just the feel, but more so the look of your genitalia. Slowly move your fingers around your thighs and to your vulva. Play with your labia, move them around-get a good feel of your body.
It’s a fact that women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. While this article is about fingering, it won’t hurt to get help from sex toys. You can use a vibrator in case your fingers get tired. Just place the tip/head of the vibrator to the clitoris and you’re good to go.
How to Finger Yourself
If you’re a complete beginner at fingering, we have written these steps to get you started. Take note that you can further explore and switch things up and these are the simple steps that will help you get going in your fingering journey:
Get in the mood.
Getting aroused is the key to blissful fingering. Make sure to never skip this part. Without getting aroused, your orgasms will not be as intense, and you definitely would want your first orgasm to be explosive, right?
- Relax and free your mind from stress. When you are stressed and have fatigue, it can be difficult to feel sexy and aroused.
- Find privacy. Being in a quiet space and not be disturbed is vital. It can be your bedroom but if you share your room with someone else, then you may need to use the shower or bathroom as your private place to try fingering techniques.
- Find a comfortable space to perform. While privacy is important, a cozy location is also key! Choosing a comfy place to let loose and masturbate is one the most essential rules in fingering so you can reach that high.
- Indulge in your fantasy. This means thinking about what gets you aroused. Get in a headspace where you will fantasize about a particular scenario that gets you going. This could be through reading or listening to erotica or it could be the things you would be doing with a certain person.
- Stimulate your senses. If thinking about your wild fantasies won’t suffice, there are a lot of things you can do to get in the mood. Here are some of the activities that you can try beforehand that will sexually stimulate your senses.
- Light scented candles
- Burn incense
- Watch porn
- Listen to music that turns you on
- Read or listen to some romance books or audio erotica
Tease your body.
Now that you’re aroused, it’s time to finger yourself. Begin by lowering your hand from your breasts, down your stomach until you feel your clitoris as discussed in the female sexual anatomy portion. Start making gentle circular motions on your clitoris. Then gently run your fingers down the sides of your vagina, over the outer and inner labia. Some women can orgasm from this step alone.
The last thing you want is a blister down there. If you find that you are not releasing enough natural lubricants and things get dry, do not hesitate to use lube!
Start fingering your vulva.
Below your clit, using one finger you will feel fleshy folds of skin on either side of your vagina which is your labia.Start lightly trailing a finger or 2 all over your labia. Most women find it easy as they rub their labia, they start to naturally get wet if they are already turned on. This wetness acts as a lubricant on your fingers (or if that’s not enough you can use lube!)
As the natural lube covers your fingers, start slowly pressing the tip of your fingers in and out of your vagina. While pushing your finger in and out, it will be covered in more lubrication, allowing you to slide your finger deeper into your vagina walls. Run your fingers slowly along the walls of your vagina and pay attention to what feels most pleasurable to you.
Keep a good rhythm.
Keeping a good rhythm on your vulva helps build momentum to a solid orgasm. It’s up to you if you want it fast, slow, or have a specific pattern when fingering yourself.
Switch it up.
Switch up your rhythm and mix up the tempo of your hand. Learn to alternate hands if your dominant hand is losing momentum. Once you get pro at your fingering game, practice your less dominant hand to get into the groove of how to help you get off.
Change positions for various sensations.
Avoid remaining in the standard “starfish” position, in consideration of your surroundings you can turn over into doggy and reach underneath to get new sensations and an exciting angle of your pussy. Trying a new angle helps stimulate your bud below and you might just learn new sex positions in the process.
Take note though, there is no single “correct way” in fingering. What you would find most pleasurable will be different from what others enjoy. Focus on the movements that satisfy you the most and do not worry too much about doing it “correctly.” Moreover, it’s not a matter of going as deep as you can. Fingering should be about you getting as much pleasure as possible and as a beginner, you have the freedom to experiment with how deep you like it.
Now that you’ve learned the basic steps to fingering, let’s move on to the fingering techniques that you can use.
Warm up your body with this technique. Use your index and middle finger to please the labia majora; it’s the skin that protects your vulva. Place your two fingers on each lip, move from the clitoral region to the vaginal region, then move up again. Apply gentle pressure to indirectly stimulate your vulva.
After that, use the fingers to separate the labia majora and access the labia minora, which is the flesh at the sides that protects the clitoris and vagina. Move the two fingers up and down again.
Up and Down
This fingering technique also involves focusing on the clit; all you need is to take a finger and start rubbing up and down on one side of it. If you want more stimulation, try rubbing your finger directly over your clit. Of course, you can experiment with how hard and fast you rub your finger and the length of the strokes.
Dip and Flick
This technique works wonders when you don’t have a lube on the side. Start with getting fully aroused to the point that your vagina is incredibly wet and your clit is swelling. Dip your middle finger in the vagina for lubrication, then rub your clitoris and other parts of the vulva.
Once you feel the finger is drying up, insert your finger in the vagina again. Keep on doing this until you’re ready to try another technique or when you reach the big O.
Side to Side
This technique involves focusing your fingers on your vulva. As the name suggests, you must rub your finger from side to side over your clit. Some women prefer barely touching this part, while others need intense contact to pleasure themselves. As always, you must try many variations to discover your preference.
Here’s another clit-focused technique for our c-spot lovers! For this one, you’ll start by rubbing the vulva with your middle finger. Create big circles, then make them smaller every time you complete one rotation. The smaller the circle is, the closer your finger is to the clitoris. Keep on doing the swirling motions until your finger reaches your clit.
Tired of using the middle finger to stimulate the c-spot? Here’s another clit-focused technique that doesn’t involve your middle finger. For this one, use the index finger and thumb to gently squeeze your clitoral hood. The duration of the squeeze depends on you, but we recommend squeezing it for a second, stopping for a second, then squeezing it again. The gentle and patterned squeeze will surely make you cum in no time.
Whether you’re stimulating your clitoris or g-spot, this technique can bring wonders to your self-pleasure session. Keep your four fingers (index to pinky finger) close together, then rub them all over your vulva in a circular or up-and-down motion. Instead of touching a very specific area, the four fingers will be able to provide broad stimulation on the vulva.
For vaginal stimulation, gently insert all four fingers, then move them back and forth. However, this works best for those experienced enough to handle this thrusting level.
Push the Button
Pressing and holding pressure on specific spots can be very pleasurable. This is particularly true for areas like your G spot and A-spot. Once you find an area that responds nicely to prolonged pressing, try experimenting by maintaining the same amount of pressure with your fingertips for several seconds. Try repeatedly pressing that area like you are pressing a button repeatedly.
Finger from Behind
Put your hand down your lower back, over your anus, and then to your vagina. Once you’ve entered your vagina, curl your finger backward. This will stimulate the opposite side, or the posterior wall, of your vagina to your G spot.
Aside from the clitoris, there’s another pleasure zone in your vagina called the g-spot. It’s not necessarily a distinct organ but is somewhat connected with the clitoral network. It’s because the clitoris has internal parts; the sensitive nub in your vulva is just the tip of the iceberg. When aroused, these parts swell up, making them easy to stimulate indirectly in the vagina, specifically in the g-spot.
To find the g-spot, you’ll need to be fully aroused and relaxed. Insert one or two fingers and feel the area until you notice a spongy patch. Apply gentle pressure in that area. Feel a tingling sensation? That’s it.
Once you feel it, do a come-hither motion on the area, moving your finger back and forth. You can also do circular, side-by-side, and tapping motions on the spot. Experiment with different finger motions until you find something that fully satisfies you.
Pinch & Pleasure
This is pretty tricky if you’re doing it for the first time, but trust us, you’ll love it! What you’ll do is basically stimulate the g-spot and clitoris using one hand. Start with gliding your middle finger inside the vagina. Once you’ve located the g-spot, keep your middle finger in there and focus on the thumb. Place the thumb at the top of the clitoral hood.
Is everything in place? Apply gentle pressure on both fingers as if you’re trying to pull them closer. You can do different fingering motions like up-and-down, swirling, tapping, and side-by-side.
Road to Blended O
As the saying goes, two is better than one. So instead of focusing on the clitoris or g-spot, why not play with these two areas at the same time? Use your dominant hand in stimulating your g-spot, while the other one should be flicking your clit. It’ll take a while to get used to it, but you’ll have a blast once you do!
Best Sex Toys for Fingering
Your fingers can already bring so much pleasure, but if you need a helping hand, then love toys are the way to go. They’re specifically made to please specific spots like the clitoris and g-spot, ensuring that you’ll get those satisfying orgasms in no time. Below are some of the toys that work best during a fingering sesh.
This type of vibe can be worn like a ring or a thimble. Its small size makes it the perfect toy for fingering, as you can easily do finger-play techniques with it. The only downside is the vibrations may not be as strong as the other suggestions in the list, but if you’re a newbie, it can certainly make you go, “Ohhhhh, yes!”
Another great sex toy that could replace your fingers is the tip vibrator. It’s a vibe with a slim and pointed tip at the end. The tip is the only vibrating part of this device, sending concentrated vibrations in any pleasure zone in your body.
It’s a bullet-shaped vibrator that’s packed with power. Depending on the model, you can insert it in your vagina. Same with the finger vibrator, its dainty size makes it easy to play during your fingering sesh. But unlike the finger vibe, the vibrations are much more powerful since it’s bigger; there’s more room to build bigger and stronger motors.
If you would ask us what a clitoral vibrator looks like, quite frankly, we’re unable to come up with an answer. It’s because this toy doesn’t come with a distinct design. Some may look like a flower, others have slim arms, and others look like balls. One thing’s for sure, they’re all made to effectively stimulate the clitoris.
If you want the ultimate clitoral pleasure, this one. This one right here is gonna grant those sultry wishes. Unlike the previous toys, this one doesn’t use vibrations. It uses suction-like sensations to please the clitoris and other areas of your vulva. You place the small opening into the clitoris. Turn on the toy and watch yourself squirm in orgasmic joy!
Frequently Asked Questions
Is fingering safe?
Fingering is a safer type of sex, it is especially safe if you’re doing it with yourself. It is important to make sure you practice proper hygiene and you are good to go.
Can I get STD from fingering?
Fingering is considered low-risk sex, which means there’s only a small chance of spreading infection. The risk should be low if you are doing it with yourself and you are practicing cleanliness. So fingering is a safer kind of sex but it isn’t completely risk-free.
Does fingering lead to pregnancy?
There’s a very small chance of starting a pregnancy unless semen gets on one’s finger and that finger is put immediately into the vagina. And since this article is a guide for you ladies to finger yourselves, simply washing your hands before and after touching yourself and washing your pussy should suffice.
What are the risks from fingering?
Fingering is normally not a high risk of any disease. An infection can take place when there is a fresh open cut on the finger, then there would be some risk of infection if any bacteria or vaginal secretion gets direct access to that opening.
Can I finger myself during my period?
Yes, you can finger yourself while on your period. It may get a bit messy so you may need a towel on hand to be prepared. Some women find that having an orgasm helps relieve their menstrual cramps and other PMS-related pain.
I still can’t find my G-spot, what do I do?
It is perfectly fine if you can’t find your G-spot in your initial try. Take time to study our tips and techniques mentioned in this comprehensive guide. Self-pleasure takes practice and exploration so give yourself some time.
What are the benefits of lubricants?
Lubricants are designed to enhance sexual function and arousal. They are a great way to spice things up with yourself or your partner or to set the mood.
Is there any lubricant to avoid entirely?
Oil-based lubricants are unsafe to use as they can cause vaginal irritation. You should also limit the use of lubricants with flavoring or fragrance since they have chemicals like glycerin that may cause irritation.
How should I select the lubricant for me?
Not all vaginal lubricants are created equal. Some brands work better for you than others, depending on what you need. For example, if you’re dealing with dryness, long-lasting silicone lubricants are best for you. If you’re going to finger in the shower, opt for a silicone-based lubricant. Water-based products will rinse off as soon as you’re under the showerhead.
Or if you’re going to use a sex toy, we recommend using a water-based lubricant. If your sex toys are made of silicone, steer away from silicone-based lubricants since it can damage your toys in the long run.
How do I use lubricant effectively?
There is no “right” way to use lubricant but there are some things you can do to ease the process:
- Lay down a towel to avoid staining.
- Warm up the lubricant in your hands before applying.
- Apply lubricant right before fingering or any penetration.
- Reapply as needed.
As for our takeaway, fingering yourself is one way of indulging in self-pleasure. Doing this alone lets you learn about what your body feels and being in tune with your sexuality. As mentioned earlier, Fingering yourself is not about how deep you get. It’s about finding the techniques and positions that work for you. Now, find your private comfy spot, relax and start applying the tips and techniques in this ‘how to finger yourself’ guide.