Do you ever feel a sense of emptiness after masturbating? Have you experienced dissatisfaction after a self-pleasure session, even after climaxing? If you’ve ever been in this position, maybe it’s time to incorporate mindful masturbation in your life.
Most people see masturbation as a side act, something that you would just squeeze into your daily routine. This stems from our experiences when we’re younger; we would often touch ourselves in our bedroom as quickly as possible so no one would catch us doing it.
And even though there’s nothing wrong with having a quick solo play, doing this hinders you from experiencing pure satisfaction. Masturbation without nurturing your senses is like sex without foreplay. It may get the job done but isn’t as sexually fulfilling.
Just imagine having sex without any buildup, teasing, or foreplay— it’s not as fun, isn’t it? Then why would you subject your own body to that experience? Masturbation is sex with the person you love, right?
This is why we highly recommend mindful masturbation; no more touching yourself for the sake of cumming, and let’s make our solo sexperiences more satisfying!
If you’re curious about mindful masturbation and want to bring more passion to your self-pleasure plays, keep on reading, pal. For this guide, we will be discussing the ins and outs of mindful masturbation and how it can help you lead a more fulfilling sex life.
What is Mindful Masturbation?
Mindful masturbation is a sensual practice of slowing down the self-pleasuring process. Instead of flicking your clitoris for five minutes and calling it a day, you’re actually spending dedicated time touching and worshiping your body.
With this practice, you’re not using your body to reach an orgasm; you’re actually making love to your body, which in return, possibly gives you a fulfilling climax.
Some people also consider mindful masturbation as a masturbatory activity that doesn’t involve pornography nor other “external stimulators.”
This sensual practice is under mindfulness, a process where you focus on the present moment, calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.
Benefits of Mindful Masturbation
Sex positivity and self-pleasure advocates have promoted mindful masturbation, saying that self-stimulation should be treated as a practice that demands time and concentration. It also poses a lot of benefits to your mind and body, such as the following:
1You’ll experience better orgasms.
Though there are no concrete studies about this claim, there are blogs and online forums claiming that mindful masturbation helps them experience longer and stronger orgasms. Since the buildup is longer and most senses are used, feeling a more intense form of orgasm with this practice isn’t far from reality.
2It releases stress.
Experiencing a satisfying orgasm from mindful masturbation can trigger the release of feel-good hormones, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, prolactin, adrenaline, and endocannabinoids.
Since these chemicals and hormones are involved in the brain’s reward center, you may feel happiness and satisfaction after a long and passionate self-pleasure session, reducing your stress level in the process. Oxytocin also lowers the level of cortisol, a hormone associated with high stress.
3It boosts your sexual confidence.
As we’ve mentioned earlier, a set of feel-good hormones gets released after climaxing. These hormones aren’t just responsible for reducing stress or alleviating pain; they can also elevate your drive and provide self-satisfaction.
Aside from the confidence-boosting hormones, making love to your body also enables you to see your body in a different light. As you focus on your sensitive spots and intimate curves, you start becoming appreciative of your body— some people even end up worshipping it; they see it as a temple that provides pleasure to their soul.
4It makes you connect more with your sensual self.
Mindful masturbation can help you feel more in touch with who you are, what you want, and what you don’t like in the bedroom.
Do you like to touch your clitoris more than your g-spot? Are you up for long and sensual strokes to your shaft? Do you prefer circular rubs on your nipples? Do you like massaging or pressing your g-spot? By incorporating mindful masturbation in your life, you’ll end up discovering the best ways to pleasure your body.
5You’ll have better sexplorations with your partner.
Practicing mindful masturbation isn’t just beneficial to yourself; it’s also great for your relationship. Once you’ve become more connected with your sensual self, you become more aware of what you like during the deed. You can then guide your partner during sex on your preferred erogenous zones and type of stimulation— less guessing, more lovemaking!
How to Practice Mindful Masturbation
As you’ve learned the different benefits of mindful self-stimulation, you’re probably interested in trying this practice. With that, we’ve listed ten things that you should do to start doing this sensual practice. Keep in mind that these are guidelines only; it’s up to you on what tips to follow and how you’ll work through them.
1Take it slow.
This is the perfect way to kickstart your mindful masturbation journey. The next time you touch yourself, don’t rush the process. Start with caressing your erogenous zones that are away from your genitals.
For example, start massaging your scalp while your other hand is gently squeezing your breasts. Keep on doing these teasing touches for a few minutes, then slowly move your hand to the area closer to your genitals. Keep on giving your sensitive spots some light rubs for a few minutes, then move your hands closer to the genitals again. Repeat the process until your hands reach the genitals.
While doing these teasing rubs to your body, make sure to focus on the tingling and tickling sensations. Keep your mind away from distractions and let go of all inhibitions. Feel like gasping, squirming, or moaning because of the unmatched pleasure? Go for it!
Taking slow allows your body to warm up for what’s about to come. Instead of experiencing quick bursts of pleasure, you’ll be able to have longer and steamier climaxes.
2Create a self-pleasure session structure.
We see masturbation as a “spur of the moment” activity. We often do it just because we have extra time on our hands, are bored, or just wanted to fall asleep quicker than usual. There’s also no plan on what you would do during the play or how long it would last.
And though there’s nothing wrong with masturbating spontaneously, it’s also not helping you become more creative in the deed or sexually connected with yourself. Let’s be real here; we often do the same thing over and over again, going on autopilot mode until climax. There are also some instances where you’ll get distracted over a phone call or an online shop delivery— this is what happens when you never plan your solo plays at all.
That’s why you should try having a self-pleasure session structure. We know it may sound business-ish, but a self-pleasure session structure plans how you would touch yourself on that particular session. You can use your journal or mobile notepad for this; write down the date and time of the deed, the duration of the play, and the specific set of things that you would do on that sesh (clitoral play, g-spot stimulation, nipple play, anal fingering and the like). It also requires you to develop conscious breathing patterns, preferred positions, types of stimulation, and even sex toys that you would use.
By preparing a plan on how to touch yourself, you’ll be able to experiment and fully immerse yourself in the deed. There’s also a lesser chance that someone would distract you since you’ve planned out the date and time of the deed, ensuring no one’s gonna bother you at that particular time.
3Explore your body using all your senses.
Don’t just focus on the sense of touch; play around with the other senses too. For example, set up the room with scented candles, stimulating your sense of smell. You can also masturbate in front of the mirror, giving a sultry treat to your delicate eyes. You can also start moaning and squirming to tease your ears.
And if you want to stimulate your sense of taste, apply water-based flavored lube on your finger, start touching yourself, then lick the sweet juices of your fingers. We know that some of you may get turned off with the idea of licking your bodily fluids; that’s why we’ve included the flavored lube in there, just in case.
4Use your non-dominant hand when touching yourself.
Want a simple yet effective way of incorporating mindful masturbation in your sexual plays? Try this one. Using your non-dominant hand can provide new ways of stimulating your pleasure points. This also prevents you from going into autopilot mode during the deed. However, you may experience a longer time reaching orgasm with this act, as you’re getting used to the stimulation— just be patient throughout the whole process.
5Incorporate breathwork in your solo plays.
For those that are unfamiliar with this practice, breathwork is deep and conscious breathing, helping you access what your body feels at the moment. What’s great about this form of meditation is that you don’t need to do any yoga positions or have specialized skills to do it— it’s easy, free, and universal.
That’s why mixing this with masturbation can do wonders for your mind and body. With breathwork, you’ll be able to reach a deeper state of mind and become fully focused on the deed. If you’re interested in doing breathwork while masturbating, here’s a type of breathwork that you can try:
- Lie down on your bed, your dominant hand on your thighs, and your non-dominant hand on your chest.
- Start slowly exhaling through your mouth, getting all the oxygen out of your lungs.
- Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose to count of four; feel the air fill your lungs.
- Hold your breath for four seconds.
- Exhale through your mouth for four seconds, expelling the air from your lungs and abdomen.
- After that, hold your breath for another four seconds, and then repeat the process.
*If you have severe breathing issues, we suggest consulting your healthcare provider first before engaging in any form of breathwork.
6Try masturbating somewhere other than your bed.
One of the key things you should do when engaging in mindful masturbation is to try something new; this includes touching yourself somewhere outside your bedroom. Doing the deed on the same regular spot can trigger your autopilot mode, stopping you from experiencing mindful play.
You can try masturbating in the bathroom, kitchen, hotel room, car, and the like. Take note, though, if you’re planning on doing this in a public space, make sure to be careful with it, or you might end up getting arrested for public indecency.
7Say yes to edging!
Ever heard of edging? It’s a sensual technique wherein you stop self-stimulation once you’re close to orgasming. What’s great about this is it amps up the arousal level, bringing intense orgasms at the end of the session.
Due to the teasing nature of this act, we recommend trying this method while engaging in mindful masturbation. Just start touching yourself, teasing your sensitive spots. Once you feel like climaxing, remove your hands away from your body and just keep them on your side. Wait for a few minutes until your body calms down from that almost orgasmic release. Repeat the process up to three times.
8Opt for guided masturbation apps.
If you’re just new to mindful masturbation and want someone to assist you with this practice, you can check out guided masturbation apps.
It’s up to you if you want something conversational or something with a kinky and dominant vibe to it; there are tons of erotic audio and guided masturbation apps on the market, so you’ll surely find something that fits within your desires. Just give the apps a try and see if they’re worth using for a long time.
If you’re looking for app recommendations, just scroll down and check the next section for our top picks.
Mindful Masturbation Essentials
As you’ve learned the different activities you can incorporate with mindful masturbation, we can sense that you’re ready to test the waters. But before you proceed with trying this sensual practice, we suggest getting some of these essentials to help you navigate the whole process.
1Guided Masturbation App
As we’ve mentioned in the previous section, using a guided masturbation app is a great way to kickstart your mindful masturbation journey. It helps you go through the process more easily, as a virtual platform is assisting you. Here are the top recommended guided masturbation apps:
Dipsea – It features a massive and impressive library of audio erotica. Expect top-notch quality in terms of story, voice acting, and sound design. Download the app here.
Coral – If you’re looking for a simpler guided masturbation app, you should definitely check this one out. This sexual wellness app focuses on audio and written guides for self-pleasure, advice on sensual self-care, and meditation exercises to help you connect with your body. Download the app here.
Emjoy – This app provides a holistic approach to self-pleasure. Instead of showcasing the full library of guided masturbation audios and audio erotica, it starts with asking your self-pleasure goal, then recommends the best guides and programs related to that goal. Download the app here.
2Lubricant or Masturbation Cream
Imagine being in the mood but can’t finger or touch your genitals properly due to the lack of lubrication. What a bummer, right? That’s why we highly suggest having a bottle of personal lubricant or masturbation cream before engaging in this sensual practice. It provides a smoother glide as you touch your intimate areas, amping up the sensations in the process.
Yes, your hands can do the job, but there’s nothing wrong with getting a lil bit of help. That’s why we recommend a mini vibrator for your self-pleasure plays. They’re compact and have whisper-quiet vibrations, so using this wouldn’t distract you from the main sexploration. Mini vibes are also versatile, as you can run this sleek toy all over your erogenous zones. It also works well regardless of one’s gender or sexual identity.
We’ve been emphasizing the importance of exploring your body when engaging in this sensual practice; focus on other erogenous zones that are far away from your genitals. That’s why incorporating simple and fun pre-game activities such as massaging yourself is a must-try. With that, we highly recommend investing in a body-safe and all-natural massage oil, such as the Midnight Touch Massage Oil.
As we’ve mentioned earlier, teasing all your senses is a key activity when engaging in mindful masturbation. That’s why using scented candles and massage candles during the deed is ideal. Just turn on these candles before the play and enjoy the stimulating scents!
Masturbation is a vital practice for our mental and physical wellbeing. We shouldn’t treat it as a quick and side act, but as a form of self-exploration, that demands time and concentration. So go ahead, say yes to mindful masturbation and reconnect with yourself!
If you’re still on the hunt for different ways to masturbate, click this link to check our other self-pleasure guides. We hope that you’ll be able to have a self-loving and exploratory form of masturbation in the next few days. Good luck!