Ghosted After Sex 101: Reasons and How to Bounce Back From It

Being ghosted after sex is literally the worst feeling in the world. Like just the idea of being ghosted is already so audacious and sucks so bad! If this has happened to you, then we hope you’re doing okay. Being ghosted, in general, sucks because there’s so much uncertainty behind it. Did you do something wrong? Did they change their mind? There’s no answer to why they went *poof* on your life — and you probably may not get an answer anytime soon.

If you want to learn more about why you got ghosted after sex and how to react to it, this guide is for you. Or if it has never happened to you, but you know someone who had this experience, you can send this guide over to them.

Now, some of the common reasons for being ghosted after sex include:

1 It was a one-time or one-night thing.

Casual encounters like a one-night stand or hookup usually hold no intention of going further into the relationship. It’s just one instance of hot sex (for a multitude of reasons), and you go your separate ways. Hence, there’s no need to sustain any further communication after doing the deed. But a proper goodbye would’ve been more respectful, at least, right?

2 They weren’t fully interested in you.

Sure, there was physical attraction at first glance, which led to physical intimacy. But that’s not enough to sustain anything long-term, wherein you need to consider (and work on) its emotional and intellectual aspects. In turn, it can lead to avoidance and putting distance between someone. Until, well, it leads to full-on ghosting.

3 There was sexual incompatibility.

Ah, such a common reason that we should talk more about! You have your own preferences and desires in bed, and they do, too. You also have your own unique libido, and so do they. While you don’t have to be super alike, being way too far on your personal desires and theirs can create frustration and disappointment. In other words, that’s a lack of sexual compatibility for you.

For example, you’re on the kinkier side while they’re still testing out the waters. As a result, one of you feels more reluctant to engage in further relations, fully leaving the short-term fling.

4 There was no connection.

It makes sense, though. Why spend more time on someone you don’t click with? Building a strong connection is a foundational pillar of a healthy relationship, after all. But then again, ghosting someone is just not cool, dude.

5 There are personal issues involved.

Personal issues can include commitment issues, anxiety, emotional baggage, trauma, and more. Depending on the gravity of any of these issues on you, it can affect how you act within your relationships. It would then lead to withdrawing from the relationship because they’re emotionally unable to give you what you need and such.

6 The sex was bad.

Face it, it can happen. But it doesn’t mean it’s a great thing. While it’s uncertain as to what’s responsible for making the sex “bad”, bad sex makes things uninteresting and not worth pursuing further. Hence, people would ghost the other person. It feels embarrassing to look back on, even more so when the ghoster just walks out without explanation.

7 You were the problem.

Hate to break it to you, but this reason can happen if you aren’t respectful or kind towards them. But aside from this, you may have shown certain deal-breaker personality traits that they weren’t into either. Not necessarily negative, but then they don’t align with theirs. Thus, they’d rather ghost you than confront you.

How to Move On and Respond After Being Ghosted After Sex

Let’s recuperate and take the necessary steps to move forward through this unfortunate occurrence through this section down below.

1 Accept that it happened.

Girl, it’s done. They left because they were not interested. That’s on them to be immature by ghosting you. Don’t ruminate so much on someone who’s only a fragment in your long life and also clearly doesn’t respect you and your time.

2 Don’t blame yourself for it.

It’s easy to fall down this path. Regardless of the unknown reason for their ghosting, that doesn’t define your self-worth. More than ever, you need compassion. You can offer that to yourself or through your loved ones.

3 There’s no need to seek closure.

Closure is something you give to yourself, not something you ask for. Quit dwelling on their “why” behind ghosting you because you’ll only never know it. When ghosters ghost, that’s literally it. You’ve hit a brick wall when you try to reach out to them. Hence, focus on what you can control: your healing and letting go of the situation.

4 Drop any revenge motives.

Seriously. This won’t ease your pain, but it only wastes time and energy to plot and act out.

5 Express your feelings.

But keep it to a minimum! You don’t want to appear desperate or cause any more emotional harm to yourself. Expressing yourself can be short, brief, and straight to the point. It can look like, “Hey, I noticed you’ve gone silent. If this is not working out for you, I respect that. Take care.” Then, send it. That closes your chapter with them.

6 Place all that pent-up energy on yourself.

You’re filled with so much pent-up energy from this ghoster. Negative mostly. But you can place it onto something more positive so you don’t drown in disappointment and sadness. Such energy can be placed on doing your favorite things, trying new hobbies, and spending time with loved ones (and releasing extra energy so you can fully move on).

7 Work on setting better boundaries.

At this point, you’re firm that you don’t want to experience getting ghosted after sex again. You must inspect your boundaries to avoid experiencing it a second time. Or setting better ones if you don’t have any and let yourself get trampled by other people, no offense. Boundaries can look like being clear about what kind of relationship you’re looking for and having constant communication throughout the relationship and sex.

Takeaway

Nobody wanted to get ghosted after sex. No one likes the uncertainty and discomfort it comes along with. With a flurry of reasons behind it happening, there are solutions on how to move on and recover. At the end of the day, let’s value being respectful and communicative rather than running away from confrontation.

For more sex-related guides such as this one, head on over to the Lauvblog here.