Ever wondered what pillow talk is?
Well, pillows may be involved since the setting is usually cozy and relaxing. And the things you talk about are usually soft and also leave room to open up to your partner. Definitely goes up and beyond that famous Zayn Malik song of the same name.
Let’s learn more about this topic, alongside our top tips on how to properly give it, through this informative guide below.
So, What is Pillow Talk?
Pillow Talk is an intimate and honest conversation between two partners in a relaxed and light atmosphere. It can be after sex as part of aftercare, in bed, on the couch, or while cuddling. Hence, adding the word pillow because it makes a couple feel soft after.
Moreover, those said couples are in an exclusive relationship, but those who are hooking up can also engage in pillow talk, but up to a certain degree. Some couples may have such a convo easily, while others have some difficulty doing so since they let themselves be vulnerable with one another. However, that can be worked on between the couple and/or with professional help.
How Different is Pillow Talk From Other Conversations?
Based on the atmosphere and contents of pillow talk, it varies from the rest on other levels. For instance, pillow talk is relaxed and calm, especially when you’re lying on a bed or couch. Most conversations happen during the day with intentions and also distractions around them. Sure, some can happen at nighttime, but they may be cut short as someone would end up sleeping.
Another factor here is intent. For example, dirty talk is intended to arouse a couple before or during sex. Then, for regular conversations, it requires getting something in return. Can you get this task done for me? Can we resolve this issue? Are you down to go out later tonight? For that, there needs to be an answer as soon as possible.
But back to pillow talk, there’s a lot of emotional connection and bonding in pillow talk, with a tone that is inviting and warm. In turn, you feel safe to open up and deepen the conversations. All in all, it strengthens the relationship.
How Helpful is Pillow Talk?
Let’s list down the great benefits of pillow talk between a couple in this section.
1 It allows couples to share what’s on their mind.
Pillow talk is the chance to let your guard down, be vulnerable, and be real with one another. Given that the mood between the two of you is calm and relaxed, pillow talk lets you express whatever it is you want to say. And while it can be daunting to be vulnerable, it also makes space for connection and bonding with the other person.
The fact that you shared something personal and they were there to listen and even comfort you makes you feel reassured and seen. It’s also a time to give each other validation and just be there for one another.
2 It lessens stress and anxiety.
Pillow talk is designed to calm and de-stress, whether you just had sex or a long day at work, or you just need some rest. Or better yet, some rest with your boo. Moreover, the topics you discuss, from the light to the heavier ones, feel more relieving to talk about when you’re in a calm headspace. Like a huge weight off your shoulder, you can rest soundly and/or move on with your day.
3 It improves communication.
Pillow talk is a form of communication. The more you do it and make it a part of your routine, the better your communication skills get with each other. You become more transparent to share what’s making you happy or bothering you. Furthermore, with the latter, you gain a better understanding of each other and clear the air of misunderstandings.
4 It builds emotional and physical intimacy.
Pillow talk happens when you’re relaxed and physically close to your partner. In return, hormones like serotonin (the happy hormone) and oxytocin (the love hormone) are released. They further connect those involved and make them more in love or appreciative of each other.
Plus, this acts as a bridge for those in a casual relationship to transition to a more serious relationship. Hence, it’s why several FWB set-ups “fail” because someone ends up catching feelings.
But besides the point, pillow talk boosts the mood and intimacy between partners and lovers.
5 It urges you to be and live in the present.
Not in the past, not in the future, but here in the now. Pillow talk makes you more aware of your surroundings and the person around you, reading their cues and being attentive when they talk to you, and vice versa.
Examples of Pillow Talk
Pillow talk can look like many things, other than being cooped up and cuddled in bed with your partner. Some questions you can ask each other as you unwind are:
- What’s your life goal?
- What are your biggest dreams and goals?
- What’s a “small” goal you want to achieve?
- What do you like the most about me?
- How was your day?
- How can I make you feel better?
- What plans do you want to set over the weekend?
- What’s your ideal date?
- What does your perfect day look like?
- What did you like the most about your childhood?
- What makes your inner child happy?
- Where are you the happiest?
- What’s a hobby we should try together?
- What’s the funniest moment of your life so far?
- [blank] or [blank]?
Aside from these questions above, feel free to get creative and brainstorm your own!
How to Properly Give Pillow Talk
Onto the fun part of this guide! Elevate the intimacy between you and your partner through these tips on pillow talk.
1 Create a cozy space.
This tip can vary per couple. It can be by dimming the lights, playing soft music in the background, lighting up a scented candle, or even having a fancy setup for snacks and drinks. What matters is that it’s intimate and elicits an invitation between partners to unwind and open up.
2 Be present.
In any interaction with your partner, presence is key. It shows that you’re attentive and value their time just as they value yours. Place your gadgets in a different room. Go on, do not disturb mode, turn off the TV, and be fully there for your partner. The rest of the world can wait for a bit so you can have active and meaningful pillow talk.
3 Compliment each other.
Who doesn’t love to be praised? Beyond the sexual realm, it makes both partners feel good about themselves. In turn, it strengthens your bond. You can compliment your partner on how they make you feel when you’re with them, personality traits, and external appearance.
4 Keep things light with easy questions.
We’ve shared some examples in the previous section, but these questions also give you a better idea of what’s going on in your partner’s mind and life. Plus, the answers may change each time, granting you more access to their true nature.
5 Share something personal about yourself.
Pillow talk is a mutual convo. Allow yourselves to be vulnerable yet honest with your partner by telling them your interests, disinterests, beliefs, and more. Even your funny moments count!
Anything you’re comfortable sharing is a-okay, and as for the rest, you can tell them at your own time. Regardless, sharing such details gives your partner a better idea of who you are.
6 Open up with deeper topics only when you’re both in the zone.
Nobody wants to start pillow talk off in a potential emo way. Hence, we encourage starting things off light and super be in the mood so it can eventually and naturally head towards a deep route. That way, communicating with one another doesn’t feel overwhelming and acts as a check-in with each other.
7 Emphasize positive emotions.
Pillow talk is sweet and wholesome, especially when you’re all cozied up and relaxed in each other’s presence. As a result, love and gratitude are naturally expressed. Thus, it’s key that such positive emotions and anything else under that umbrella (e.g., celebration, joy, nostalgia) are considered.
Moreover, talk about future plans and reminisce on past memories to further evoke these emotions.
8 Use humor.
Laughter truly is the best medicine for anything. Pillow talk becomes a lot more special when you crack a joke or share a funny memory of your younger years. Even making inside jokes here and there can heighten your emotional connection with each other.
1 Mix physical touch with communication.
Whether or not physical touch is your love language, it can spark more closeness and intimacy with your partner. And your connection? Even more powerful.
Physical touch here can look like:
- Hand-holding
- Cuddling
- Spooning
- Light grazes with your finger
- Gentle kisses
10 Take your time with each other.
Pillow talk is best when it’s slow and not rushed. Hence, it’s usually done at night or on days without plans. But even then, you shouldn’t go from one step to the next right away. Simmer and absorb each moment with each other. Stay rooted in the present and don’t let any distractions stray you away from each other.
Takeaway
And that’s a wrap on our guide about what is pillow talk 101! We hope we have enlightened you more on how this type of conversation works and how to effectively have such when you find yourselves in an intimate setting with your partner. After all, you really feel more comfortable and at ease conversing with them here.
Pillow talk can be expressed through compliments, praises, light questions, and more. It can also be done after sex or when you’re chilling at home with your partner. As long as the mood is calm and relaxing, pillow talk can commence.
And with that, we hope you enjoyed reading this guide and that you can apply any of our tips above with your partner!
For more relationship-related guides such as this one, head on over to the Lauvblog here.
