Ever heard of the praise kink? If not, here’s an example.
“You’re such a good girl/boy for me.”
Got butterflies from that line? Well, congratulations. You’re into the kink.
Recently, the praise kink got everyone on social media talking about it now! Like a drug, you’ll wanna hear more good things when you’re getting down. It aids in building your pleasure at the moment, how you never want to get down from that high ever.
Simply getting that much extra attention as you go down with your partner sparks many flames. And the only way to extinguish? Sex. But c’mon, it’ll intensify the whole session.
For today’s article, we’re tackling everything about the praise kink and why people like it so much. And who knows, you may be into if the line above hasn’t worked any magic…. yet.
What is Praise Kink?
Praise kink is when someone stems arousal from showering or being showered with a wave of compliments, words of kindness, or anything under the praise category. It’s also known as “affirmation play” or “good girl/boy/pet kink.”
In simpler terms, if your partner tells you good things about you while you’re doing the deed, you favor this kink. And by good things, it can get quite graphic and vulgar. In fact, not even during sex can they praise you. Just muttering a “good girl/boy” in a public setting can get you fired up sexually.
Scientifically, what makes the praise kink exist and attract certain people is the natural way our body lights up at positive reinforcement. According to Ducky Doolittle, a trusted sex educator and author of Sex With the Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered, she states that a feel-good chemical called serotonin is released whenever we’re given pride or respect. Furthermore, we deepen our relationships with people.
Now imagine adding that with sexual intercourse. More chemicals such as oxytocin, dopamine, and adrenaline come rushing through, so get prepared to get your mind and guts blown (respectfully)!
Why do people like this kink?
Honestly, why not? Don’t we all love getting showered in compliments or vulgarly positive words while getting some? If you still don’t get it (because some readers who get it get it), here are our reasons why the praise kink is so popular.
1 They feel valued.
The praise kink paves the way for encouragement between partners. That extra push they need as humans, they can instantly get into sex. As they give pleasure to each other, receiving such verbal approval makes their presence at the moment feel more important. In contrast to the degradation kink, there’s no need to put yourself through humiliation to satisfy each other.
2 Their self-esteem and confidence skyrocket.
Of course, when you get a compliment, getting an ego boost is unavoidable. With sex, when you do something with your partner begging for more, it’s a green flag signaling that you did something right. Or even if you don’t do anything, raving about how you look or how your body reacts to them, those insecurities creeping on you can **** off! Thus, the whole experience’s power dynamic gets a lot spicier, and those o’s come freely!
3 They didn’t get enough attention when they were younger.
Ever heard of the running “joke” of having daddy/mommy issues on social media? Well, the praise kink may bring those inner conflicts out. Since our parents are supposed to be supportive and loving, having an empty gap in us when they either lack affection or blame us for our faults makes us feel unloved. So with the praise kink, that recognition fills that space and lifts our spirits again.
Almost like healing our inner child, but in a more vulgar sense.
4 They often view a lot of pornographic videos.
There’s a script to the whole scene, whether they’re amateur-made or highly produced with expensive materials. By instinct, they’d initially vocally express positive comments about their partner. From how their outfit looks or how their private parts throb perfectly for them, that won’t just make the viewer blush. That can mark the beginning of a specific craving for verbal encouragement before the actual act unravels before them.
5 They have words of affirmation as their love language.
Knowing your love language is not just a way to know yourself better, but it helps your partner fit your needs better. Author Gary Chapman highlighted 5 different ways to express your love towards someone: physical touch, acts of service, quality, gift-giving, and words of affirmation. If you favor consistent verbal communication from your partner, it’s no exception that you’ll enjoy bringing the praise kink to the bedroom.
Signs You Have This Kink
Now you know why the praise kink exists, so how do we know if we’re into it? Check out our observations and see if you tick the majority or all the boxes.
1 You constantly ask for reassurance while doing the deed.
So you’re in bed or whatever safe surface around you. While your partner penetrates you, you won’t hesitate to pause momentarily to ask if everything is okay. Specifically, you’re hoping that they don’t find you boring. Hence, you crave words from your partner that ignite desire and need. If this is you, that’s one check off the boxes for the praise kink.
2 Your orgasm can quickly surface with words of praise.
While penetration and prior experience can suffice in making the average person orgasm, there’s just something motivating when you insert phrases like “you’re doing amazing” and “god, you’re beautiful. Especially when you and your partner are bound to reach your highs, lungs heaving and legs intertwined, you’re definitely seeing more stars from affirming words than the universe above.
But also imagine when their voice is all choked up when they talk from pleasure? Somebody call 911.
3 You think about being praised while masturbating.
For those who are single, in a long-distance relationship, or someone who hasn’t seen their partner in a hot minute, let’s be honest. We touch ourselves to relieve our frustration, and that’s absolutely normal and valid! Whether we remember a specific moment that turned us on, watch porn, or even listen to porn audio, the words of the giver are imprinted in our heads.
We let it guide us as we please ourselves from their tone, pace, and how they looked when they said it. Then we start getting creative: we picture them saying words we want to hear when we get wrecked in bed. The deeper in thought we are, the more intensified our self-penetration becomes. And alas, our legs become jelly, and our genitalia gets sensitive. Almost like we actually did the deed with a second person.
4 You enjoy loud, vocal sex.
Communication is key when it comes to having mind-blowing sex. Whether you speak about your likes and dislikes before locking lips or express your satisfaction while getting on with it, you’re never to be shy with saying how you feel. Mostly the good, of course.
Unless you’re living with thin walls or alone, holding back your moans and mumbled words is an unknown concept to you. It urges your partner to keep doing what exactly it is that’s hitting the right spots.
5 Almost any compliment about you makes you tingle.
You enjoy the bliss from such heartfelt words from your outfit today, your work, or something that strikes other people. It can come from loved ones, co-workers, or friends, but it’s more special to hear it from a partner. This urges you to find ways to get them to say admiring words. Also, this proves just how powerful words of affirmation are as a love language.
Praises Kink Ideas to Try
Take notes, readers! We gathered various vulgar ideas, from words to phrases that aren’t just steamy. But it will have you thrashing and throwing just from reading it. So better hit up your partner or get back into dating if you’re needy for the praise kink in the bedroom.
1 Compliment their sexual game.
Perhaps, the best one. When either you or your partner is performing phenomenally on bringing you to the o’, make you let them know.
Examples of Phrases:
- “You take my dick so well.”
- “Your pussy is so tight.”
- “Your mouth is made for me.”
- “Your dick fits perfectly.”
- “You’re the best at giving head.”
- “Only you can lick my pussy so good.”
- “God, you always f*ck me good.”
- “God, I love it when you hit that spot.”
- “That’s it.”
- “F*ck, right there!”
- “You’re so big.”
- “You can take it.”
- “This [private part] is mine, all mine.”
- “Your moans are intoxicating.”
- “You’re so hot when you’re on your knees for me.”
- “Let me hear those moans.”
- “Only you can make me wet/hard.”
- “I could eat you out forever.”
- “I could suck your dick for hours.”
- “I love how your breasts bounce when we f*ck.”
- “You’re so beautiful when you moan.”
- “You look so pretty taking my dick like that.”
- “You taste so good.”
- “I’m so hard for you.”
- “Choke on my cock like a good girl.”
2 Rave their physique.
Usually done during the foreplay, this is where you build up that desire. Either complimenting your partner’s body or what they’re wearing, keep a keen eye and be patient. Nothing good comes from rushing things, and so with faking.
Examples of Phrases:
- “Your breasts look good in that bra.”
- “I love that dress on you, but it looks better on the floor.”
- “Your dick is looking tight inside your boxers, hmm?”
- “I bet your undies are soaked from looking at me.”
- “I can see your dick from your sweatpants twitch for me.”
- “You look more attractive naked.”
- “Take your clothes off, I bet you’re packing.”
- “Your body is out of this world.”
- “So bare for me, and only for me.”
- “Your ass in those undies are everything.”
3 Pet names are key.
It doesn’t matter if you’re together, but having one or a selected few that you like and letting your partner call you them in bed makes sex more? Cue moans. So pick your poison, readers.
Examples of Pet names:
- Baby girl/boy
- Good girl/boy/pet
- Mommy’s boy/girl/pet/thing
- Daddy’s girl/boy/pet thing
- My love
- Pretty girl/boy/pet
- Sweet girl/boy/thing
4 Tell your partner how you make you feel.
Reassurance! Don’t hesitate to let them know about the pleasure building up or crashing down on you. And vice versa.
Examples of Phrases:
- “You’re doing amazing.”
- “Well done, baby.”
- “You’re a dream.”
- “More, give me more.”
- “You know just how to please me.”
- “Keep going.”
- “Just like that, good job.”
- “I’m so proud of you, angel.”
- “I love how well you took that [action].”
- “No one can do it as you do.”
- “Look at you, doing it perfectly.”
- “That made me feel like I’m on cloud 9.”
- “We just kissed, and you’re already so wet.”
- “I only said hi, and your dick is hard and red.”
5 Use adjectives!
If you’re someone who isn’t as vocal in bed but want to incorporate sweet words while doing it, adjectives can get the message across just right. Because often, simple is best.
Examples of Adjectives:
Tips on How to Use This Kink
All kinks should be practiced safely, and the praise kink is no exception. Here are some tips to note down to maximize the full potential the praise kink has on your sex life.
1 Evaluate your needs.
Before you actually try this kink, ponder what you want to hear from your partner. Whether you based them on past experiences, the media you consumed, or sheer curiosity, take some time out of your day to assess your deep desires. Since the praise kink is broad and filled with endless ideas, investigate which phrases arouse you the most, even from its thought.
2 Be genuine with your words.
The purpose of this kink is to shed affection and appreciation for your partner. So if you’re giving half-meant compliments in the bedroom, the session becomes dishonest and fake. When thinking of compliments, consider exactly and piece-by-piece your emotions towards them and what they’re doing great in.
It’s advantageous too if they’re a longtime partner, meaning the scope of compliments you can give them are wide and numerous. But if it’s something short, like one night, focus on the moment and exclaim your true emotions. Don’t waste the whole sex session; it’s meant to be safe and fun.
3 Keep an open mind.
If your partner mentions that they have this kink, don’t be too quick to turn it down when you’re not into it. This also goes both ways, wherein you should be understanding and respectful of your partner’s opinions on kinks. Do your own research on it and tap into their perspective. If all things work out well, then give it a shot. Determine then if you’ll have a redo or conclude it as a one-time try.
4 Communicate with each other.
With every kink you want to try, communication must remain constant. Don’t mind-read each other’s needs, and verbalize what you want to explore with the praise kink. Whether it be “tell me that i’m a good girl/boy” or “tell me what you love about my body”, be straightforward about it. It’s how you’ll enjoy the experience more and even debrief easier post-sex of what you’ve learned through it.
5 Don’t hold back on physical touch and toys.
Giving verbal praise is already arousing alone, but that shouldn’t mean the actual sex should be lacking. With set limitations, maximize the time you have with your partner when you try this kink. Slap their butt, knead their breasts, jerk off their dick, tug their hair, get even more hands-on to show them how much you admire them.
And boy, toys shouldn’t be out of the equation either. They should be your teammates in sex, not your competitors.
Frequently Asked Questions
We’ve laid out the important points about the Praise Kink. But out of sheer curiosity, there are still questions about it that people want to be clarified to make sure they use it correctly. Here are some questions we’ve answered so you can be delighted in your next steamy session with your partner.
1 Are there other significant differences between praise kink and compliments?
Praise kink can unlock deeper issues with you, while general compliments are more surface-level. Since having the praise kink may be rooted in lacking certain emotional aspects in your life (attention, love, etc.), getting that temporary bliss from praise can be addicting. Although compliments are building blocks to the praise, they’re mostly wholesome. Praise kink only aims to be vulgar and erotic.
2 Can praise kink be done through virtual sex?
Yes! It’s steamier too since you and your partner aren’t together. Touching yourself while their voice orders you around, then telling you’re doing a good job? Instant wetness/hardness alert!
3 Do moans and groans count as praise?
Yes! When words are too much, noises asserting affirmation mean that your partner is enjoying the pleasure.
4 I praised my partner, but they didn’t like it. What did I do wrong?
We get that praise has a positive connotation, meaning to bring good spirits to your partner while doing the deed. However, saying certain words may bring back a triggering memory that you may not know of. So, refrain from saying those specific phrases and wait for them to voice their concerns about it.
5 Are there any risks to look out for with this kink?
Have a balance of wholesome compliments with your naughtier, so that spark of the kink doesn’t waver. Don’t half-ass your words, and speak with authenticity that they make you feel good. Lastly, don’t depend your worth on praise alone. Not necessarily should you be fully confident, but there are other outlets where you can feel confident. Praise kink is just one of them, so practice it responsibly like the other kinks.
While doing the deed as filthy or intimate as you please, the praise kink always makes the entire experience fierier without much effort. Call it positive dominance, but it never fails to make you and your partner feel confident. Just make sure you don’t go overboard and constantly communicate with each other. With that, praise responsibly!