Does having a woman dominating you in the bedroom arouse you? Have you ever craved a nurturing presence and aura in the bedroom, similar to a mother? Would you address your partner as “mommy” out of pleasure, even if they’re not your actual mom? Well, if that’s the case, you may have a Mommy Kink.
From its more masculine counterpart, it’s about damn time we shed some more light on this kink and delve more into what it’s all about.
Browse through this informative article on everything related to the Mommy Kink, from play ideas, why people love it, and how to safely play it out as the dominant, aka. “mommy” or the submissive.
What is the Mommy Kink?
There are several ways to define this kink.
Urban Dictionary defines it as the “sexual/romantic attraction for women who care for you, protect you, and nurture you, and love you unconditionally”. You’d be the center of their attention when you choose someone (a woman, to be specific) to be your “mommy” figure. They’d shower you with endless affection in and out of the bedroom.
According to Kinkly, this kink is a type of age play in which a woman pretends to be an older woman taking care of her much younger child. It’s also a type of female dominance in BDSM, wherein their partner, or the submissives, is called a “little” or “littles”. They can be nurtured with cuddles or punished with spanks, among many other play ideas by their mommy. We’ll get to that section in a while.
There’s no given origin of this kink, but it’s quite common in social media, porn, and as a tag in fanfiction sites such as archive of our own and Tumblr. This kink is inclusive to having male and female submissives, though The Keys adds that this kink is “often prevalent between female-female interactions, with one pretending to be the mommy and the other pretending to be the daughter or step-daughter”.
Why Do People Have the Mommy Kink
You’re probably curious yet intrigued about why people enjoy in this kink. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this article. Skim through this section as we break down the main reasons behind such intrigue for Mommy Dearest.
1 They probably have mommy issues.
VeryWell Mind defined mommy issues as issues experienced by men and women that they “face later in life due to the relationship they had with their mothers as a child”. It’s quite similar and just as prevalent as the term “daddy issues”, as gaining these issues comes from having a toxic or overly-affectionate relationship with your mother or a motherly figure.
In men, it can occur from being a mama’s boy, or having an excessively close relationship with their mother. To the point everything their mother would say, they would follow. This can also ingrain certain expectations when looking for a partner because they want their prospects to match up to their mother. In women, mommy issues can stem from insults or nitpicking from their mother or motherly figure. This can lead to self-image and confidence problems growing up.
Trust issues can also manifest because of your blurry definition of what a mother should act like. It also makes you feel empty from the absence of attention or frustrated if they give you the opposite.
Ultimately, the person affected would heavily crave proper, authentic affection that lifts their spirits and confidence up. Affection that doesn’t make them compete with another person.
Thus, the mommy kink exists to address your needs for nurturing and love while taking your sex lives up a notch. However, this kink is not a solution to deep-rooted problems with your mother or motherly figure. So ensure you engage in this kink for the right reasons, and seek professional help.
2 They love soft sex or love-making.
Soft sex or love-making is between two partners who are romantically attracted to each other as they know each other’s body language. Rather than stepping on the hasty pedal, they take their time appreciating each feature or blemish, empowering each other, and moving at a slower pace. Orgasm isn’t the goal, but the journey and experiencing pleasure is.
These characteristics also apply to the Mommy Kink, wherein the dominant aims to dote and give their littles some TLC. This kink usually creates a more cherishable atmosphere for all, which makes those interested in soft sex or love-making lean towards that kink even more.
3 They feel more vulnerable and safer.
Even while being related to BDSM, the Mommy Kink provides a blanket of comfort for the submissive. Because their mommy would embody gentleness and love with their words and actions, it invites them to be more open and transparent with them. Being surrounded by a calming environment puts a submissive in a more relaxed mindset. They become more present and aware, which makes sex or any sexual activity more exciting.
4 Their best sexcapades involve this kink.
If you enjoyed it the first time, what’ll stop you from doing it again?
Kinks exist to heat things up in the bedroom, preventing a couple from getting stagnant and bored in sex. Among the many kinks out there, it happens that incorporating the Mommy Kink brings out their sexual personas the most. This then leads to making the best sexual memories.
Whether it be simply calling your partner “Mommy”, cuddling as foreplay to sex, or sucking your “mommy’s” nipples like a baby, the ideas here are endless, and they’d keep expanding their horizons to see how far they’d go for an o’ or overall sexual pleasure.
5 Simply, it’s a turn-on.
The idea of a female dominant taking charge of how you go with your life and bedroom play? Like yes, sign me up!
There’s nothing sexier than witnessing a woman knowing her stuff and going around her submissive like a queen. All while treating their partner with the affection that comes along with being their “mommy”. Or punishment if they disobey her.
Like “Sorry, mommy. I won’t do it again.” as she slaps your butt while you’re bent over or teases your genitalia with her fingers or tongue? Sounds pretty hot if you ask us.
Mommy Kink Play Ideas
Now, onto the best part! Take a more vivid look at our suggested play ideas if you’re very keen on incorporating the mommy kink into your sexual lifestyle.
1 Set nicknames between you and your partner.
An easy start to the Mommy Kink! This kink applies in a relationship with a woman in it, so in a heterosexual relationship, the woman takes the main nickname of Mommy. If between two women, it can be assigned to the older one in the relationship or whoever asserts the most dominance in the bedroom. It’s up to you how you want to run things here!
As for the submissive, they can take doting nicknames such as “little”, “baby boy/girl”, “angel”, “sweetheart”, and “love”. If you’re going for a more aggressive, degrading tone, have your dominant address you “my slut/whore”, especially in the bedroom or playroom for BDSM.
2 Make a dress code for your little.
A mother only wants their little to dress their best. So why assign them certain themes for their outfits all throughout the week?
Or maybe a few days a week, you and your partner decide.
Switching up their outfits puts you in control, and you get to bond and experiment with various clothing trends and styles. Some examples include wearing striped shirts to any gathering, being shirtless at home, wearing suits on Mondays, or even a thong when out in public if you’re feisty like that.
The list goes on, and it can be as wholesome or sexy as you want. Maybe squeeze in some roleplay if you and your partner are in the mood. A major bonus point to elevate the experience is helping them dress up, from their undergarments onwards, whether or not you live together.
3 Compile a list of rules to follow.
In order for their baby not to get in trouble, a mother would advise them a set of rules to follow, so they don’t cause havoc. Why not apply this with your partner?
A few examples of rules are not to stay out too late, masturbate alone, watch porn without them, or buy anything new without their permission.
If they disobey, they can get punished. This is where BDSM comes into play. One way to go through this realm is by bringing out your paddles or whips to use on your partner to discipline them. You can also deny their orgasms repeatedly if the degree of disobedience is grave based on your standards.
4 Sext each other.
Connecting with your partner in real-time is a major perk of gadgets and social media. No matter how far you guys are from each other, you have a way to communicate. So why not use it to your advantage with the Mommy Kink?
With your nicknames already set in stone, leave it to your gadgets to keep in touch when you’re in the mood. By sexting, you can text them vulgarly back and forth.
An example of a conversation looks like this:
Submissive: “Mommy, I miss you.”
Dominant: “Do you really, baby?”
“What do you miss about me?”
Submissive: “Miss your hugs, and your boobs because they keep me warm.”
Dominant: “Do you want me to send a picture?”
“Oh, my poor baby.”
Submissive: “Please, mommy. I’m so needy.”
Taking pictures of yourselves in sexy positions (or even nudes) and sending them over is another feisty suggestion.
5 Have a steamy video call.
If your partner doesn’t live with you or is miles away, it’s not a hindrance to satisfying your needs. If you’re aiming for something bolder than sexting, go on a video call with your partner and verbalize all your needs. Touch yourselves to the sounds of each other’s voices as you climax. Give them a peek or a full exhibition of your naked bodies, especially if you’re the mommy. Show everything that your little must be missing, and let them praise you while you do the same with them. Get as sweet or vulgar as you please.
6 Give pegging a try.
Pegging is a sexual practice where one stimulates their partner’s anus with a strap-on. In the past through the “Savage Love” sex advice column, it was mainly “an act wherein a cisgender woman penetrates their cisgender male partner”. That’s because it brings a lot of pleasure to the latter person as the prostate gland (or p-spot) is present. Think of it as the male g-spot, which Think of it as the male g-spot, which has several nerve glands surrounding it to produce seminal fluid. In other words, it’s very sensitive.
But nowadays, it’s more inclusive. So anyone can be pegged as long as there is anus and strap-on contact involved. Incorporating the Mommy Kink, the dominant can wear the strap-on while the submissive follows under their command.
It can be an act of reward if your little accomplishes something great or if you’re looking for an outlet to intensify your experiences with the kink. Pegging brings dominance, especially for women, so meshing it with the Mommy Kink takes the entire sexcapade to new heights of pleasure.
7 Increase physical touching actions as foreplay.
Mothers have this lively presence around them. They’d naturally invite you in for physical affection on both your good and bad days. Alongside that, they’ll bring reassurance that things are okay and you’re doing just fine.
Now take this characteristic and envelop it with implied sexual intentions. Or rather, as foreplay.
Give your little hugs when they get home from work or school, then escalate it into cuddling in bed. While cuddling, your hands can stroke their hair or massage their skin to relax them. Leaving a trail of sweet kisses along their body boosts intimacy between you and your partner before reaching for their lips.
8 Have sex from a spooning position.
From the previous point, cuddling is a way to increase affection between a mommy and their little. Maybe with a bit of dry humping to prepare your bodies for sex, opt to do the deed from your spooning position. Luckily, there are quite some variations to act this out.
You may need to switch orientations if you’re smaller in size and play as the big spoon while your partner is bigger and a penis owner so they can slide it in. Then including same-sex couples (both people are vulva owners), fingering can also be achieved while spooning in bed.
9 Go on top!
Asserting peak dominance in sex is by plopping on top of your partner, straddling their legs, and lowering yourself down on their genitalia. Bounce up and down to gain pleasure, and maybe even cage their wrists with your hands. Refrain them from touching you and let them whine in need before you give in to them.
For female-to-female contact, you can do 69 with you on top while the submissive is under you.
10 Engage this kink with nipple play.
One major trait of a mother is their ability to produce milk in their breasts to nurse their babies. If you’re down to recreate an intimate moment like that, you can get a close resemblance by engaging in nipple play. As foreplay or the main event, kindly ask your “mommy” if you can suck on their nipples and play with their breasts when you’re feeling horny, bored, or both.
11 Insert other kinks in the mix.
Although the mommy kink can stand alone, adding one or a few more can heighten your sexcapade. You can venture through this when you’ve been engaging with the mommy kink for a long time already. That way, you know its dynamics and such without hesitation.
Want to give more admiration for your partner in bed? Praise them.
Determined to absolutely rail your partner for their disobedience? Degrade them.
Finding satisfaction at the thought of getting knocked up and being an actual mommy? Have them breed you if your partner is a penis owner, but learn the risks of this bold kink.
Get creative and wild here as there are numerous kinks out there you can mix and match the Mommy Kink with.
12 Use sex toys.
Sex toys are your partners in sex, not enemies. Especially if they’re from our online store here.
If you want to present more dominance in the bedroom, explore around with sex toys. From handcuffs, vibrators, anal plugs, there’s so much you can choose from! It’s up to you and your little to decide how far you want to go and venture around.
Aside from using sex toys mainly to add more pleasure to the submissive, the dominant can play around with them too. For example, if they cuffed their submissive to the bed while the mommy is on top, the latter can activate app-controlled nipple clamps or a couple vibrator. They get to decide the vibration mode and level, amplifying the entire experience for both of them.
Tips on Practicing the Mommy Kink Safely
Before getting into a new kink, safety first always. In this section, we listed our top important safety tips as you navigate through the Mommy Kink.
1 Talk things out.
Sex is one of the most prominent topics you must discuss with your partner, especially if you’re eager to try something new and spicy. If you’re usually a bottom, and you think the Mommy Kink will bring out the dominant in you, let your partner know. Tell them what it’s about, the goal, ideas… basically, suggest this article to them.
Get their insights on the kink and if they’re flexible to switch positions every now and then. If they are interested in this kink, plan how you want to add to your sex lifestyle. If not, it’s best to leave it at that rather than forcing them. Sex must be fun for both parties, let’s not forget.
2 Establish boundaries.
One major boundary that must be addressed is to always get each other’s consent. That’s what keeps you and your partner safe from getting hurt by each other’s actions. If neither of you gives it for reasons such as being intoxicated or tired, then don’t do it. This boundary is also rooted in gaining and building each other’s trust, especially when you’ve been dating or doing the deed casually without feelings involved for a long time.
With the Mommy Kink, there are a number of ways to act on it aside from the list we have above. It’s about knowing what you want and do not want to do and informing your partner about it, so they don’t cross them.
Don’t want to have a dress code? Let them know.
Only eager to greet your partner as “Mommy” at the start? Inform them about it.
Craving to reserve Mommy Kink only on special occasions, like Valentine’s Day or someone’s birthday? Tell them right away.
The list goes on, but being aware of your yeses and no’s from the beginning can make things easier and safer for both you and your partner.
3 Start off slow.
Nothing good comes from rushing things. You need that eventual build-up for a more heightened, intense, and even intimate experience. Maximize your foreplay at the start, from kissing, stripping each other’s clothes off, or even touching your submissive in a motherly manner (e.g. cuddling, stroking their hair, etc).
You can also start with verbal greetings such as “Mommy” and “Baby Boy/Girl” in both sexual and non-sexual contexts before getting physical. Once the atmosphere gets steamy and lust-hungry, escalate things to the bedroom when you’re both ready.
4 Do aftercare!
By this time, both of your chests are heaving while sweat moistens your figures. Trying to catch your breath, you’re definitely on a high from all this penetration. But sex shouldn’t end just like that. Don’t forget the final and most crucial step of every sexcapade, aftercare.
Doing this step is a sign of respect and decency towards each other. You reassure one another as your mental well-being return to a more normal state, reassuring one another that you’re both doing well.
This step is exceptionally vital when having sex with the Mommy Kink involves nurturing and taking care of each other. It helps create a deeper connection with one another.
5 Debrief with one another.
Communication should never halt after doing the deed. So alongside aftercare, spare time with your partner to openly discuss your feelings after doing it since you’ve tried a new kink (and perhaps other activities to amplify the experience) into the mix. Highlight the pros, and ponder on how to improve on the cons. Or maybe remove whatever cons are depending on the degree of it.
Doing this constantly will make your future sexcapades better and a lot more sensual along the way.
Frequently Asked Questions
Still curious to learn more about the Mommy Kink? We got you — We answered a few common queries about this empowering kink.
1 What are the differences between the Mommy Kink and Daddy Kink?
The Mommy Kink is rooted in affection and nurture, while its masculine counterpart is rooted in protection and discipline.
2 What does a relationship that applies the Mommy Kink focus on?
Aside from dominance and submission, it focuses on tapping into the positive emotions and memories you’ve had as a child.
3 Is Mommy Kink linked with pedophilia?
No, pedophilia is a fetish involving children, which is also a crime. The Mommy Kink is a type of age-play between two consenting adults.
4 Does having the mommy kink mean you want to have sex with your mom?
No. Incest isn’t involved in either this kink, same with its counterpart. Liking this kink doesn’t mean you’re into incest. You’re more focused on the associated feelings of a motherly figure, which are love and affection.
5 Can the Mommy Kink be applied in non-romantic relationships?
Yes! If you and your partner are friends with benefits, wherein you’ve strictly discussed that everything is physical, then go for it. It’s also best if you’ve been “together” for a longer time so there’s a stronger foundation of trust.
The Mommy Kink deserves more attention alongside its male counterpart! It encourages empowerment for women in the bedroom to take charge and switch it up every now and then. Alongside this, they get to take care of their little with the occasional punishment if they do something wrong. If you’ve been eager to try this kink, this is your sign! Have fun and play safe with this kink, readers!