The sensual screams and moans of delight during sex can reassure your partner (and sometimes even your neighbors) that you’re enjoying yourself. A lot of the time, though, loud sex simply isn’t an option because your roommates are just not interested in your sexual activities. Or perhaps they are interested and just don’t feel comfortable witnessing it happen in real-time. The solution? Quiet sex.
The idea of sex without music or moaning can seem kind of awkward at first, but it can be incredibly hot and exciting. Who knows, you may find that this creates an even more intimate connection with your partner. Eye contact, body language, and reactions become the indication of what turns you on. The additional attention silent sex requires can make the sex even hotter.
It makes you feel like you’re doing something illicit and naughty. Trying to hide your erotic adventures from your kids, parents, or neighbors can be a bonding, team-building experience.
Tips for Having Silent Sex
Silent sex can be easy if you pick positions that avoid too much thrusting or bouncing, or if you pick the right accessories for the job. Here are a couple of tips and tricks so you can keep your carnal relations on the down-low.
1Kiss instead of shouting.
When lovemaking sessions get intense you may have the urge to scream to release some of that tension. Kiss instead of shouting. Release all the tension in a torrid kiss to accompany all that stimulation down there. It’ll muffle the noise you were about to make and let you have more physical contact.
2Use words instead of grunting and moaning.
A lot of times, you’ll use grunts and moans to express sexual pleasure to your partner. An alternative is actually verbalizing your pleasure. Whispering affirmations and explicitly telling your partner what feels good is a great option. Plus, it practices your dirty talk skills that are useful for other occasions.
3Have a pillow to bite down on.
Pillows can be for more than just laying your head on. The sacks of fluff can be helpful when you’re trying to have silent sex, too! How? Bite down on the pillow. You could also use a rolled-up towel or your partner if you’re into that.
4Drown yourselves out with white noise.
There are people that really just can’t help themselves when it comes to moaning and groaning, and while it makes discreet sex a little bit trickier, it isn’t impossible. Equip yourself with a white noise machine and position it right outside your bedroom door. It’ll help block out a lot of the sound, if not all. So while you won’t want to be going at it at full volume, the combination of white noise and tempering the volume of your erotic ecstasy will allow you to get away with a sneaky session… kind of.
5Find ways to make your bed quieter.
If you or your partner making all that noise that’s causing your roommates to sneak you sly winks and knowing smiles when you come out of your bedroom, maybe it’s time to make a few tweaks to your bed. Prevent your bed from sliding around by applying rubber stoppers to the feet, or maybe even a blanket if there are no appropriate stoppers. Tightening the bed frame can reduce squeaking. Moving the bed away from the wall to prevent banging or investing in a headboard stopper can help, too! In fact, why not get rid of the bed frame altogether?
6Ditch the bed.
You could skip the bed altogether and get creative with your sex locations and positions. Having sex standing up eliminates the problem of bed noises. If standing isn’t exactly the position you want to be bumping and grinding in, a stable chair or even a plush blanket on the floor could add a little variety to your sex life.
7Shower sex can be silent sex.
As long as the shower you’re using is large enough for you and your sex partner (or partners), it would have been more silent than sex on the bed anyway. It can also be a bit more perilous, though, and a slip or fall could easily give away that you weren’t exactly engaging in the cleanest of activities… not to mention the injuries that may occur. So maybe grab a non-slip shower mat beforehand.
8Distract them with other noises.
Turn on the tv, play some music over the speakers, or even have some water running. These background noises will help in concealing whatever sounds you make during sex.
9Pull some toys from the kink box.
If your partner makes a little too much noise during sex, you can use a gag. If you don’t have a ball gag in your bedroom treasure box, you can use a necktie, bandana or make it kinkier by stuffing your underwear in the mouth. That’ll be sure to give you a relatively more silent sex experience.
10Give your mouth something to do.
It’s no surprise that having your mouth full, makes it a bit harder to make noise. So what about going the deed in the 69 position. It allows you both to be the giver and receiver without risking too much noise from either partner. It’s silent and sexy.
11Turn it into a competition.
Turn on not just your sensual sides or your competitive sides, as well. Start a game of who can be the quietest during your sex session. Maybe take turns trying to arouse each other and whoever wins gets to dictate a spicy dare. We call it winning, but even when you lose the game, are you really a loser?
12Explore your dominant and submissive sides.
Order your partner to be quiet during sex or place your hands over their mouth. You might find the powerplay exciting and something that you want to look into in future bedroom play dates.
13Enjoy the quiet simplicity of spooning.
Spooning isn’t all just cuddles. It’s also a sex position that is perfect for silent sex. The receiving partner lays flat on their stomach while the giving partner penetrates from behind. Other sex positions work, too! Just make sure you both enjoy the grinding motion more than quick thrusts.
14Slow down your breath.
Being more conscious of your breathing helps you lower your volume a little bit. Another perk of slowing your inhales and exhales is that your orgasms can be more intense, last longer, and you may even be able to have a few more than usual. Conscious breathing can ground you even more in the moment, allowing you to connect even more intensely with your partner.
15Slow and steady can also win the race.
Leisurely lovemaking is will keep the creaking to a minimum (of the floorboards, bedframe, and your joints). Sliding against each other as slowly as possible, making sure that you feel each and every centimeter of contact, can spark your nerve ending in ways that you’ve never known before. Not only will everything feel bigger and more intense before, but as the sensations build, so will the power of your orgasm.
16Shelf the blow job, give them a slow job.
A slow job is basically a regular blow job, but way slower. Press your tongue against the underside of his shaft as you gradually release them a little at a time. It’ll drive him wild, and you’ll be able to show off your unbelievable oral skills.
17Turn on the fan, humidifier, or dehumidifier.
Ideally, you’re turning on these alternate sound sources in the occupied rooms that may hear your lovemaking. But if you can’t, try to turn it on right outside your door. The closer you can get the sound sources to the other parties, the better. It’ll make it more likely that they’ll hear the sounds of the fan instead of your sensual moans.
18Embrace the challenge.
Use this as an opportunity to see how much self-control you and your partner have. Pull out all the stops to try and drive your partner wild. Play a game to see who knows the other better by targeting their erogenous zones to test who will break first and release a moan.
19Use eye contact and facial expressions.
Instead of words or moans to communicate, note your partner’s reactions to your ministrations instead. Curling their toes, arching their back, a tightening in the pelvic region are all signs that can clue you in on how they’re enjoying whatever it is you’re doing.
20Have getaway sex.
Okay. Look. Silent sex is the sex they can’t hear. If you’re not home then your sex is silent for them… right? Maybe not, but this is a great excuse for a romantic getaway with your beau.
21Use a memory foam mattress.
Memory foam is a lot less squeaky than spring mattresses. So if your mattress is the problem, and you don’t mind a permanent switch – a foam mattress will definitely help with the noise. Plus, the relatively harder surface gives you a bit more traction for rougher sex when you can be loud about your lovemaking.
22Use a weighted blanket.
Crank up the air conditioning and get under the weighted blanket. It’s now found another purpose other than helping curb your anxiety. The extra padding in the weighted blanket can help muffle the sounds of your horizontal tango. And ok, it might get a little bit sweaty and might take a little bit more effort, but the added weight can make the thrusting even more intense.
23Sound proof the room.
Depending on how loud you know you can get, it might be worth soundproofing your room – especially if people are always complaining about your sex noises. The effort and cost are worth it if you can get overly conscious about your volume and there’s no way you’re gonna stop doing the hanky panky. Sometimes you wanna let your freak flag fly, but in the safety of your private space and this is the way to do just that. While you may not be having silent sex, at least the people outside your room will never know.
Mutual masturbation can solve all of your problems. You’re able to predict and prepare what areas you’ll be stimulating for pleasure so you won’t be gasping from surprise, and you can slow down when the sensations get too intense. It can be extra sexy to watch your lover get themselves off. An added perk is that you still get to enjoy the sight of your partner reaching orgasm.
25Invest in quieter toys.
We can all agree that sometimes, the problem isn’t you, it’s your naughty gadgets. If the noise is truly a problem, there are a few options on the market that are whisper-quiet but still have strong enough vibrations to fulfill your needs. They can be so silent, in fact, that even you won’t really notice the sound.
Toys We Recommend
Speaking of investing in quieter toys, here are a few gadgets that’ll wake your sexy side without disturbing the neighbors. You’ll find an option for whatever your sexual taste.
Frequently Asked Questions
Silent sex is meant for those who want to keep their sex lives a secret. It’s no shock that there are a few questions that go unanswered about this topic. Have no fear, here are some queries you may have about having intercourse on the down-low.
1I’ve never been told that I’m loud during sex. Is that a problem?
Not straining your vocal cords during sex is not an issue. People express passion and release tension in different ways. There are some people that are very vocal about their pleasure, and some that are more subtle about it. As long as you and your partner know that you are enjoying each other and the experience, then it’s not a problem.
2I’m too shy to tell my partner what I want, that’s why I moan instead. What can I do?
Well, practice makes it easier. Are you uncomfortable because you’ve tried it and are worried about ruining the mood? Or are you truly not into dirty talk? If it’s the latter, emphasizing physical cues to show your pleasure may be the best way to go so that both of you enjoy the silent sex session. Gripping their arms harder when they hit the right spot, actually directing their head or hands to areas you want them to pay more attention to. A simple nod works to signal pleasure, too!
3Are there any cons to silent sex?
It may take a bit of practice for both of you to become attuned to each other, but there are no real cons to silent sex. In fact, it can make your sex life even more enjoyable in the long run.
4Is totally silent sex achievable?
If you mean dead silent, definitely not. There will always be your breathing to take into consideration. However, sexual volume levels can be kept to a minimum and that’s all you can hope to achieve.
5How do I discreetly clean up after silent sex?
Plan ahead. If you know that you’re going to be having sex and it’ll be hard to hide your clean-up, have tissues and towels nearby. If possible, try to scurry to the bathroom as fast as possible.
Loud sex, silent sex, hard sex, soft sex. It’s all good sex as long as it’s between two consenting adults. There’s a time and a place for each kind of sex, and it never has to be boring. Get creative so that the sex is never dull. Silent sex is more to be considerate of other people than yourself, so while it may not be your favorite way to make love, you have to compromise sometimes.